


under haunted skies

by xdarlingnickyx (Sonny)



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Comment Fill, Drama, Extreme Alternate Universe, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kink Fic, Knotting Fic, M/M, Omega Verse, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-11-05 12:29:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 114,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/406412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonny/pseuds/xdarlingnickyx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An Alpha-Bearer, for all intents and purposes is a Beta, having all the reproductive organs - internal and external, including the vaginal opening in their perineum - but also appears completely male. They have the instincts of all bearers, but they also have a tendency to act and think like their Alpha counterparts, including the instincts, though they don't have a knot, and only ever mate with Alphas. Jensen is one such Bearer, who has bested every Alpha who's ever tried to mate him. He would NEVER choose a mate who wasn't stronger than him and could "handle" and protect him and their pups. Jared is a true Alpha, raised with somewhat sexist beliefs regarding all Betas, Omegas, and Bearers. He's never met an Alpha Bearer and sneers at the idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **spnkink_meme - Alpha/Beta/Omega world with a forth Sect - J2 Knotting mpreg (Anonymous)** An Alpha-Bearer, for all intents and purposes is a Beta, having all the reproductive organs - internal and external, including the vaginal opening in their perineum - but also appears completely male. They have the instincts of all bearers, but they also have a tendency to act and think like their Alpha counterparts, including the instincts, though they don't have a knot, and only ever mate with Alphas. Jensen is one such Bearer, who has bested every Alpha who's ever tried to mate him. He would NEVER choose a mate who wasn't stronger than him and could "handle" and protect him and their pups. Jared is a true Alpha, raised with somewhat sexist beliefs regarding all Betas, Omegas, and Bearers. He's never met an Alpha-Bearer and sneers at the idea. He always goes for Omegas, liking their complete submission to alpha's, rather than a Beta's tendency to growl and snap until an Alpha "takes control". Cue running into Jensen, who holds his attention and draws him in like a bear to honey. Jared thinks he can go all Alpha and Jensen will just roll over for him, and let's the Bearer know his intentions, which is his first mistake. Jensen (though secretly attracted to the bigger Alpha) fights Jared the whole way, embracing his own "Alpha" and not giving in. Through it all Jared finds himself falling for Jensen, much to his own surprise, though the the Bearer barely acknowledges him on a good day. Finally Jensen goes into heat unexpectedly and only Jared is around to help him through it much to Jensen's disgust. Now all Jared has to do is catch Jensen, breed him, and make Jensen fall in love with him before their pup/pups are born(no more than triplets, identical twin boys and a girl would be awesome). I would prefer an AU where they aren't actors. The ability to shift into wolves is welcome but not necessary, though I kinda see it with no shifting, just animal traits.

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v163/sonnygrl/xdarlingnickyx/?action=view&current=underhauntedskiesTitleName.png)

Jared had never considered himself a very proud or boastful Alpha. He had lived his life how he had wanted, in the city, close enough to the trappings of his wolf pack. He had a decent career that had afforded him a lap of luxury he never coveted much until he had done his annual vacations with his best friend, and fellow brother Alpha, Vincien Genaro—-"Vince", for short. One month out of the year, Vince would stay two weeks with Jared, then Jared would turn around and stay two weeks with Vince. The year before, during Jared's stay at Vince's, he had to skip out the first week because of a family emergency, thankfully bringing him back to civilization. He likes to joke where he lives is "civilization" because where Vince and his mate, Moira, live with their four-year old pup, Beatrice...there are four-to-five different eras of wolf pack life going on at the same time. None have quite caught up to the modernization of the city/urban life Jared's is accustomed to, so when he's out there with Vince, he manages to stay indoors, never going out too often. Well, except into town several miles beyond one of the main wolf pack communities known as, The Ferae *****.

Moira is Ferae, an Omega, but Vince isn't. Moira doesn't want to live too far from family, still part of her old pack's world; Vince just wants his mate to be happy as his old pack is no longer around. The only "family" Vince has is Jared, so when Jared can't make it to his home, he does feel slighted. 

Jared always knows that when he's out where Vince lives, he'll grow bored. And without being able to use his laptop or even his cell phone, he fears the world will end and he will surely die because of it. This time, Vince has promised that when Jared comes for his vacation, his stay will be just as it is at home in the big freakin' urban city. Jared feels terrible that he can't be honest with his brother Alpha, but he trusts in Vince enough to know that he will be taken care of and treated respectfully—-just like he's a part of Vince's new pack. Moira, on the other hand, has a different take on her mate's brother Alpha. She knows just how selfish and sexiest Jared can be; Vince blows it off like it's an "Alpha-thing" and that Jared has this manner about him that's two-parts asshole and three-parts charmer. It's really tough to hate Jared. Moira has warned her mate too many times that if Jared keeps refusing to change his ways and settle down, karma will kick him square in the ass. Moira's fear is that, like always, Jared will eek by unscathed while an innocent victim gets caught in his own mess, taking the brunt of the fallout—-mainly, she doesn't want Vince to get hurt or get trapped in Jared's web.

The minute Jared's off the Exit walkway off his plane at the small International airport, wheeling his aluminum carry-on by his side and adjusting the thick strap of his Khaki satchel over his chest, he sees the white printed placard showing his full name [ including his middle one ]. Christ...had Vince gotten him a driver...AND a limousine to come pick him up? Jared was beyond touched; his vacation was already off to a proper start.

"I'm Padalecki." Jared approaches the tall, beefy crew-cut blond, wearing a battered cowboy hat, and points toward the name, then his own chest.

"oh...heya!" A huge hand is sent over the top edge of the card. "...m'Duncan...Mr. Padalecki." He nods his head as a matter-of-factly, then releases a side-smile. "I'll be drivin' you to Cala Farms." A pretty mouth with perfect, white teeth flashes bright.

"...c'mon..." Jared rolls his shoulder as he hands over the extended handle of his aluminum case to "Duncan". "...I have a few more pieces coming through Baggage Claim." As he walks alongside Duncan, he gets a strong whiff of Alpha, but it's laced with an edge he hasn't felt before when with other Alphas—-he actually finds the appearance of the fellow brother Alpha to be quite attractive and arousing, which he's never sensed before. He had only ever felt this way when searching for easy lays with Betas or on the prowl to court and woo Omegas. He had been close to plenty of Alphas but none he had considered he'd want to wine and dine, take back to his condo to nuzzle and "play" with, then see where the night took them. As they stand near the turn-style for the luggage, Jared glances down at the casual wear Duncan embraces; he would've assumed that a "driver" to a limo would be dressed in a suit of some type, like a uniform. Duncan is in well-worn jeans, dusty cowboy boots and a plaid button-down, cuffs undone so the sleeves could be rolled to the elbows. There was a nice flex of muscled forearms, and the denim hugged the curves of the ass a little too well. Jared writes it off as "something in the air", or something about this place that makes him feel like he's out-of-place, out of sorts. Maybe his scent is off-kilter because now...now he's got a strong odor of Omega, coupled with a layer of heat...and his dick twitches. God-damn...that ass was so damn tight; he knows that hole will be sweeter to pluck. Duncan doesn't look in any way "virginal", but he does emit a sense of inexperience—-a little too eager and excitable.

They grab for the rest of Jared's bags and leave the Baggage Claim area to exit into the parking lot. 

Jared had prayed for a limo, maybe even a swanky luxury Cadillac or Lexus, but what he gets is a dented, rusty farm truck that hasn't seen a lick of moisture in weeks; apparently, it doubles as a "cab" so they will have to store Jared's luggage in the truck bed. Jared is about ready to toss everything in, but Duncan stops him, putting an index finger to his lips, motioning to the fleece blanket covering a shape of a body curled behind the driver's side at the front of the truck liner. Jared raises his eyebrows as he watches Duncan mimic "napping" by sticking palms together at the side of his face, pretending like he sleeps, closing his eyes. They both quietly haul each bag into the bed. Jared can't help it; he's curious to who could be under there as all that's visible is dirty blond strands and a peek at a pale neck/nape. He climbs into the cab after Duncan sits behind the steering wheel. Jared places his satchel down, holding it steady with his knees, then belts himself in.

Duncan revs the engine, then glances at Jared. "I hope ya' don't mind a bit of a detour. I promised Jen I'd drop him off." He makes a slight gesture with his head to the back where the sleeping form had been dozing.

Jared narrows his gaze. "I'm on vacation—-or didn't Vince tell you?" ...yeah...he's getting prepared to flirt, possibly seduce the Omega when he's pelted with a different heat. This one of another Alpha. It throws him off Duncan because this scent is strong...virile; it makes his gut clench with the power. Before he realizes it, Duncan has reached out to touch his leg, having responded with a few words that Jared never hears, then he's overwhelmed with a stronger scent of Omega. This has to be Duncan again—-oh, yeah...this is not going to be like all those other times Jared had visited Vince and Moira's.

New blood meant new adventures.

 

 ***** Note : [ _fer-ay_ ; **full name** : **_ferae naturae_** \- nature (wild) animals ; no one can claim property ]  
==&&==&&==&&==

Jensen darts awake from his quick power nap, needing to catch some rest as best he can as he rides in Duncan's truck; the destination is a few miles outside of The Ferae compound, to Cala Farms development, but Jensen will be getting out much earlier. He flips onto his back on the sleeping bag roll, bending to tuck his arms behind his head as he stares up at the moving skyline; the hum of the truck engine lulls him into a haze of his own thoughts.

The Ferae are ripe with offspring this coming seasonal change. They were tapering off a tame Winter into a harder Spring which promised a brutal Summer; these are the fertile months of the pack when mates feel freer and emotions run high on the spectrum—-beyond plain happiness and love. They were ecstatic and passionate. It will be like young lovers with the promise of a bright future. Come the end of Summer into Autumn, the other end of the spectrum is felt...sorrows and depressions will set in. Deaths will be at an all-time high late Autumn into the middle of Winter. Mates begin to ache from being parted and there will be the agony of too much loss, an overwhelming sense of grief that numbs the soul...

...such is the life of a member of The Ferae Pack...

Jensen had lived too many seasons not to become familiar with the ritual, knowing its twisty-turns by heart. He's nearing his twenty-seventh Spring, and he's the oldest of his pack status, Alpha Bearer [ or Bearer, for short ]—-he is also mateless and heatless. It is rare for a Bearer to make it past twenty-five, much less two years beyond to encroach on year thirty. He had lost too many of his brethren this past Winter, though it had been the warmest in decades. Those that did make it to Spring, not dying in birthing and not succumbing to sickness or wasting away to nothing from neglect, clung to each other as their quantity dwindled inside of an already-eroding ancient wolf culture. 

Jensen is proud to be Ferae, prouder still to be an Alpha Bearer, or...an Omega with Alpha tendencies wrapped around a Beta core. But there were those that see him as nothing—-invisible—-like he had never been born. Of the ones who believed that thought...was Jensen's own father Alpha: the only worth a son like Jensen can offer him is to bear nothing but Alpha offspring. His father Alpha would hope that the mate Jensen chooses is strong and a great champion of The Gridiron. A warrior of the ancient Ferae arena who can best Jensen and is fertile enough to breed healthy pups. Alpha Ackles would expect nothing less. 

In the meanwhile, Jensen does his utmost without his father's knowledge to take care of those Ferae he watches over. Even though he is Alpha Bearer, he still has royal blood in him, just like his two siblings. He is not a direct descendant but he's of the few who've survived this long and carries the genetics of the royal court, which has not existed in two hundred years. He plays "dignitary"...a celibate life he leads to do his missionary work to tend to the Ferae—-the remaining Betas and Omegas, not to mention the few Alpha Bearers left that he has taken under his wing, treating them like the brothers and sisters he's never had.

Duncan is one such Alpha Bearer, probably the longest bond Jensen has ever kept closest to his heart, that hasn't been marred by death or serious illness. He shares a dwelling with Duncan, often times sharing the same room, or bed, when they needed to shelter other pack members. Jensen loves Duncan as he would assume most siblings do; he wouldn't know. His own siblings are forbidden to talk to him or even acknowledge his very existence. Jensen has no romantic notions toward Duncan, although he knows the young Bearer has looked at him with a gleam in his eyes that most mates do. Jensen knows it's nothing more than affectionate worship, and that Duncan has found his own mate to court him, best him and then breed with him, when the time is right.

The truck comes to a stop. Jensen throws off the fleece blanket, slipping arms through the knapsack straps and carries a large green khaki duffel. Duncan lets the truck engine idle as he opens the door, sliding off the driver's seat to walk over and talk with Jensen.

Jared can't help himself; he casually relaxes an arm across the benchseat to peer through the dried mud-covered cut-out window at the back of the cab. He doesn't have much of a view of the sleeping passenger, who is now very much awake, but he does take notice of the shoulder-length tri-colored hair, much like his own brown mane—-this one has light browns and light blonds. What he's more intrigued by is how Duncan is reacting, hugging as if this moment were a long goodbye, kissing lips and then all over the face to merge brows. Jared can tell the other man is equally affected, even dropping what was once in his hand to hold Duncan tight. And as he had pulled away, he had caressed a cheek, then had picked up what he had set down, walking off down the side of the road. 

Jared is a little unsettled because he feels as if this had been an emotional send-off for Duncan; the young man watches as the other grows smaller in the distance. Jared turns back around when Duncan pulls up to the door to yank on the handle. He can tell Duncan doesn't want to look anywhere, just uses a sleeve to wipe at his face and uses the ceiling bar to hoist himself back inside. 

Jared lets the silence fill the cab before his curiosity eats at him. "Don't mean to be forward, but...who was that guy to you back there?" He opens his mouth to say more but the deafening quiet keeps him hushed.

Duncan finds it tough to talk through his tears, so he simply drives and wipes at his face with his shoulder joints. Pretty soon the truck pulls into a populated area, once Jared knows very well. Duncan takes a right turn off the main highway and drives toward the small town. He makes a left turn, beginning to approach the monochromatic homes of the low-cost housing developments—-one such is where they are headed, Cala Farms. Jared fidgets as he knows they will park in Vince and Moira's driveway or park out front off the street in front of the house. 

Duncan brings the truck to a stop, having made a bee-line for a spot off the street in front of the huge front-yard. He lets the engine idle as his hands grip the top curve of the steering wheel. "I wasn't being rude, back there, when you asked me who that guy was. I, uh...he's like a brother to me...like my own family—-close family. Because of who we are, and what the most recent turn of events have brought about aroun' here...i's getting more difficult to part ways—-even briefly. Sometimes never knowing if we'll see one 'nother again." He bows his head low. "Especially when he does this stuff for the pack villages around here."

Jared can tell how passionate Duncan feels, not just about people, but who he is inside of his pack and his purpose or duty. It's about this time that Jared discovers the Omega isn't prepared for reality—-too little inexperience and too much emotion. To be that dependent on another being, unless a mate, seemed detrimental to Jared. "Thank you for answering, but you don't have to tell me a thing." He extends an arm to lay a hand on Duncan's arm, and he feels a jolt or an electrical current of familiarity—-like he should know Duncan, understand who he is and what he's gone through. Weird...to feel that vibration with an Omega.

Duncan breaks into a smile. "No...I want you to know. Any family of Dr. Genaro is a good friend to us—-my pack." He means The Ferae, but mostly on the side of the compound where the Betas, Omegas and Alpha Bearers live.

"Speaking of..." Jared opens his door, sliding right off the seat.

Vince nearly bolts off the porch steps as he makes a mad dash toward Jared. It's been much too long since he's seen Jared face to face. "...oh, god...you made it—-finally here!" The Alpha bends low to grab his brother Alpha low around the waist and hefts him high in the air, then slinks his lean body down his own meatier one so he can land on his feet again.  
The tall, thin dark-haired female, one or two steps behind her mate, comes at Jared with arms crossed under her bosom. "He's been pacing with his damn phones, expecting Duncan to call, saying you hadn't made it or...you were delayed in flight." 

"...I'm here." Jared furrows his brow, only because Vince is holding him like it's been thirty years. "...m'here, man...told you I would be." He can feel his brother Alpha shaking a bit, emotionally wrought with on-edge excitement and no longer having to worry. Vince draws away from him, still allowing Jared to keep one arm around his shoulders so he can one-arm hug Moira, kissing her cheek. "Still beautiful as ever, Moira."

Moira rolls her eyes, pushing on Jared's chest as she tucks her arm into Vince's right elbow, holding onto her mate. "Flatterer." She looks at Vince, who has his head bowed, then shifts her eyes to Jared. "You're still just as han'some—-quite a hit with every Beta and Omega you meet, I hear."

Jared looks at Vince in outrage. "You told her?" He can't believe his brother Alpha would confess about his activities while he and Vince had been out at night in the city, the last time they had been together.

Vince shrugged his shoulders, leaning into Moira. "I couldn't help it. She wormed it out of me."

"...wow..." Jared shakes his head in silent pity. "...you are so whipped, man."

"eh...maybe I am." Vince lifts his chin to point to Jared. "It'll be you soon, so I wouldn't start with me."

Jared swivels to find Duncan has been unloading his luggage. "...jesus...I could've done that."

Duncan waves away the concern. "Don't worry. You're the guest. Like you said...you're on vacation."

Moira kisses Vince's cheek, patting his chest. "...come with me, Duncan..." She steps behind her mate to hold out her hand. "I'll make you a sandwich, and a drink, to have before you head back on out. We'll let these boys carry the bags inside."

Duncan takes the offered hand, letting his own arm be wrapped by his sister Omega as they walk away together.

Vince watches Moira leave with Duncan. The minute they're in the house, he twists to face Jared. "No." He's already playfully pushing at Jared, though he's being serious. "You cannot have him. He's off limits."

Jared chuckles, putting his hands up in his defense. "What? I said, and did, nothing."

"Liar. I know you..." Vince folds his arm together as he stares Jared down. "...an' I know that boy—-just leave him be, Jay. You don't have to fuck everybody you meet."

"It's a bit more than fucking an' knotting for me, Vin." Jared's having a difficult time getting the sight of Duncan's backside out of his mind; it's a nice comfort to keep tucked away when he's being denied access...until he can get his prey alone.

"Duncan's a good one," Vince talks on as if he hasn't heard a word from Jared. "An' besides...he's already got an Alpha courting him."

"...'courting'? As in—?'" Jared is stunned by the use of the old school word; it's odd that thought he hears that an Alpha is already after Duncan, it doesn't deter him in the least from pursuit.

"No...not the way we would think. He's had meetings—-chaperoned ones—-with the Alpha and soon...well, he'll have to prove how worthy a mate he can be." Vince picks up two bags, leaving Jared the rest. "Why so much stuff, man? I know you're not a clothes-whore, nor do you have strange phobias 'bout not being surrounded by your stuff."

"...Birthday and Christmas presents, in one bag."

"...christ, Jay...you gotta stop spoiling us. You know you don't have to bring presents whenever you show."

"...simmer down." Jared pats Vince's shoulder from behind him as they cross the threshold. "It's mostly to get on Moira's good side, and make up for not being here for Bea." His head actually darts around, waiting for the moment his favorite tiny munchkin barrels down to jump into his arms, but it's fairly quiet.

"Beatrice is at a play-date." Vince's puts down the bags in a safe corner for the time being. "I would've been halfway to work about now, after dropping her off." He could see Jared giving him a concerned look. "I leave Moira some peace and quiet 'til noon. They bring Bea back home 'round one or so."

"Cool." Jared settles the luggage in his hands down, out-of-the-way against the wall. He rubs his palms together in delight. "I miss my little nugget." It's true; Beatrice is probably one of the few 'pups' he can stand being around that doesn't act out like most rowdy 'pups' do.

Vince turns to stare at Jared. "Not enough to arrange for a visit at the end of the year, instead of waiting 'til now."

Jared can hear the frustration, Vince knowing a little of why his city-dwelling brother often bowed out of coming way-out here in the boonies to vacation. "I know...I know..." He holds up his palms, unable to come to his own defense. "I have no excuses to say, except I truly did lose track of time because of work. My candidate this time around...decided not to tell 'bout his, uh...other wife and three mistresses..."

"...holy shit..." Vince mumbles as he shakes his head, not knowing how Jared could withstand all that bullshit and manage to spin it to work in his boss' favor. 

"...yeah, what a political clusterfuck that was. So..." Jared scratches at his scalp, making a partially squinting face as he tucks his hands under armpits and stands his ground. "I liked this guy's platform and message, but just utterly clueless when it came to females. Even the ones on staff and interning in his offices."

"...wow..." Vince puts a hand, flat to his chest, to make himself seem shocked. "...you mean there's someone hornier and smarmier than you?"

"...yes an'—" Jared pauses, twists his head like he hears something weird. "—seriously? smarmy?"

"okay...maybe that was too harsh, but...c'mon..." Vince shrugs his shoulders, tucking his hands away in the front pockets of his trousers. "...it's ironic that you choose to work for slimeballs like this guy when your own sexual social life has been equally questionable."

"hey..." Jared holds up an index finger to stress a point. "I never lied or cheated, having one mate and three Omegas on my jock at once."

"true, true...you hungry?" Vince walks up to Jared, pressing the meat of his palm into Jared's left shoulder, fingers curling over the strong bone. "Moira and I were just about to make ourselves some lunch."

"uh, yeah-yes...sure." Jared lifts his gaze to follow up the main staircase. "I have the same room as last time, right?"

"No." Vince shakes his head as he adjusts his trousers and pulls at his button-down shirt.

"oh..." Jared lifts one lone eyebrow in curiosity.

"It's been a long time since you've been here, Jay." Vince shifts around to lean on the wall and start explaining a few things to Jared. "Bea's no longer in her nursery. We have a brother and sister Beta twins who are here to take care of Bea, the house and...now that Moira's carrying again..."

"She's carrying?" Jared's eyes go wide in stunned shock.

"yeah, I know..." Vince smirks a little as he swipes down his cheek. "...barely four months. She hardly showed with Bea—-not until the 6th or 7th month."

Jared gives out a half-smile, elbowing Vince in the ribs. "Do you know what you're having?" He remembers how overjoyed his brother Alpha had been at the prospect of having a girl 'pup'; it would just be the icing on the cake for Vince to have a son next.

"...yup." Vince nods his head, but zips his mouth shut, saying nothing else.

"Soooo—?" Jared waits to be told the good news.

"Isn't it just enough that we're pregnant again?" Vince wrinkles his forehead as he asks Jared a rhetorical questions. "Lets not make it a huge deal."

"Vince...what is it?" Jared thinks the silence means they don't want to jinx the pregnancy. "Is she okay?—-the 'pup'?"

Vince has bowed chin to chest, but he can't help the wider smile that breaks out over his face. "There's more than one?"

"oh, shit...twins..." Jared almost punches Vince in the nipple, but does manage to get him in the tougher portion of his breast plate, actually hurting Jared's hand

"—yes..." Vince bounces his head on his neck like a bobble-head.

Jared's still not convinced there isn't something going on that prevents them from revealing too much information all at once. "Wha's the problem?"

"It's not—-anything...it's really her pack—-her old pack." Vince turns to connect gazes with Jared, dipping his head to make sure his brother Alpha understands. "The one I now work for, by the way."

"...yeah, how 'bout that. I couldn't believe when you told me The Ferae Pack let outsiders in?" Jared twists to lean his left shoulder on the wall. He had made sure he absorbed all the information from Wikipedia and its ilk before landing, so he wasn't completely clueless about the ancient wolf pack he would be living near. Jared basically crammed a college semester's worth of knowledge in six hours of his connecting flights.

"...just on a limited basis. And those that do have clearance to enter at any time are mainly those in the science or medical fields." Vince dug into his pocket to take out his I.D. badge for the hospital, then passed over the "visitor" badge Vince had arranged for, allowing Jared to accompany Vince on his rounds on both sides of the compound. "Now we have the ability to actually be 'in' their lives, see how they truly live and make certain they don't all die off."

"...jesus..." Jared hadn't known that the reports of them slipping into non-existence had been true. "...I've been reading 'bout them. I had some idea they existed but were something forbidden to talk about since they were so sacred or treated with such...I don't know what to call it other than the wolf packs who modernized looked down their noses at them. Been kind of curious to what their culture revolves around."

"The Alphas live primitively—-huts instead of homes, mud instead of grass. The Betas and Omegas live separately, partially civilized, but still stuck in a by-gone era. Alpha Bearers are a separate status, though 'Alpha', they live with the Betas and Omegas, almost like their bodyguards."

"Excuse me?" Jared wasn't sure he heard correctly because the two words didn't really "fit" together. "—who did you say?"

Vince had known this would strike Jared's fancy. "...Alpha...Bear-ers..." He enunciated the words.

Jared tilts his head in slight bewilderment. "Tha's not—? Is that when a—?" He isn't sure he can say the words.

"Exactly what it says..." Vince nods his head, even though Jared keeps wanting to shake his head in disagreement. "—Alphas who bear offspring."

Jared averts his eyes, only to bring them back to widen them. "Whose offspring?"

"An Alpha's? They can only mate with an Alpha." Vince stares hard at Jared, knowing full-well he's told his brother about this part of the Ferae Pack. "I've told you 'bout this pack status before."

"No...no, you haven't, Vin." Jared lets out a stuttered laugh. "I'd've remembered something like that." He narrows his gaze, insisting this has to be a tease on him; Vince likes to do this kind of stuff with his advanced medical degree hanging over Jared's head. "You're pulling my leg."

"No." Vince isn't smiling or smirking. "I'm not joking."

"...tha's jus' not possible." Jared rubs at his chin, looking down at the hardwood flooring.

"What?" Vince can't wait to hear this tidbit of Padalecki knowledge.

"...an Alpha knotting an Alpha..." Jared furrows his brow as he looks to Vince, scrunching his face like he smells a bad odor. "I mean...tha's gotta be weird, huh?"

"For us, in our wolf packs, sure. But for The Ferae...no." Vince frowns a bit. "Why can't Alphas mate? An' not just inside The Ferae Pack."

Jared almost chokes on an outright laugh. "One of them would fuckin' die, Vin."

"no..." Vince slowly shakes his head in disagreement. Apparently, Jared had been trolling Wikipedia for quick splashes of knowledge again. "...not necessarily."

Jared is dying to be proved wrong. "Explain to me please...all over again—-since you recall havin' told this to me once before...an' pretend like I'm stupid."

"...that won't be difficult." Vince mutters as he smirks from one side of his mouth.

"har-har..." Jared shoves at Vince's shoulder. "...how can an Alpha bear offspring?"

"...look...at their base—-their core...they have the outer-shell of a Beta..." Vince shakes his head at the face Jared makes at him. "...stop it—-I'm being serious here..." He snortles as he sees Jared put on his serious face. "...they have the reproductive system exactly like an Omega, with some additional parts that make them Bearers...and they have underlaying Alpha characteristics they can't help but let out."

"But—-why?" This makes no sense to Jared, unless it was a whole cultural revival, that Omegas actually stem from Alpha Bearers. "Was this some attempt to obliterate the Omega status altogether?"

"The Ferae Wolf Pack stems from a few generations of Norse Vikings. They epitomize what it is to be Alpha. They're brutish and violent, which is why they are kept separate from the Betas and Omegas. Alpha Bearers used to be the only ones who could withstand being mated with Alphas, but the more the Alphas attempt to evolve and break out of their raw natures and instincts, they've been able to find a certain...taming of their pure wildness...their feral natures...they've begun to mate with Betas and Omegas...and even outside of their own pack."

"What? Will the Alpha, like, kill or eat their own mate or pup?" Jared goes still as Vince doesn't laugh with him. "...christ, how the hell do these, uh...Alpha Bear-ers survive?"

"Some of them don't." Vince pushes off the wall to continue on down the foyer hall to step into the wide-open kitchen archway, going right for Moira. He grabs her hip, sliding a hand over her softly rounded belly, then kisses the side of her face, nuzzling her hair. His mate is watching Duncan eat heartily as she sits at the head of the rectangle table.

Duncan is seated to Moira's right, happily chowing down and drinking a tall glass of chilled lemonade. "You took the day off, Doc?"

"No." Vince shakes his head as he goes into the fridge to pull out the marinating chicken strips. "I'm goin' in later, after lunch. The other physician is covering my shift."

Moira reaches out to touch Duncan's forearm. "Duncan was just telling me 'bout the latest loss in Oloko Village. He dropped Jensen off for the funeral, and a few other things that have to be done to appease the troubled waters."

Jared moves to lean on the island counter, watching the discussion carry on between the three people. He hears that "name" again—-thinking "Jensen" is the "Jen" Duncan had mentioned.

"How was the family?" Vince grows a bit somber as he talks, his mind whirling with thoughts. "They were pretty bad when I got there to pronounce mother and 'pup'."

Jared goes tense, his shoulders locking. Did something happen with an Omega birthing?

"eh...the reports sent to Jen mentioned so dissension, but he knows once he's out there...things will settle down." Duncan takes a long sip, swallows, then wipes his wrist over his mouth. "Mainly, her Alpha's not doin' so hot, but he's pleased he got to hold his son a few hours."

"yes..." Vince was fiddling with some burner knobs so he could turn on the grill to the left of the stove-top. He uses a fork to start laying the chicken strips on the crossway grill marks. "...he's good pack. I'm sure he knows not to take this into his own hands. I'm sure it'll be a relief once they see Jen."

Duncan nods his head, a sweet smile filtering over his good-looking features. "He'll stay there a few days after the burial. Make sure the Alpha doesn't turn 'round and harm himself or tries to go in search of the men who took his mate's life."

"Losing a loved one like that, so horrifically...I can't imagine." Moira slides a hand over her eyes, still mortified by what she'd been told, after reading the papers and seeing all the glossed-over news reports.

Vince can detect the deep interest in Jared's face. "...'hunting' accident."

Jared knows this is "code" for an innocent [ human ] killing a pack member on purpose. "How far away are humans again?"

"50-60 miles, in any direction. But that doesn't stop them from hunting us pack like 'sport'." Vince turns down the grill heat a little once the sizzling starts and the smoke fills the air; he reaches above his head to turn on the overhead exhaust fans. "It's why we live in clumps inside one house. Any chance of a pack member on their own...it's just callin' for their vicious cruelties."

Moira crosses her arms over the table, sipping at her own smaller glass of lemonade. "She'd been warned plenty of times not to go out there alone. But..." She shrugs her shoulder, hating how sometimes she was confined to certain areas of her own town. "...she got cabin fever, an' I really didn't think she wandered too far off the village's property like the humans claim."

"...a cold-blooded killing..." Duncan mutters with a bit of fire under his throat, shaking his head as he closes his eyes and says a quick, silent prayer. Once he reopens his lids, he points severely in the air with his index finger. "It's the Gridiron, I tell ya'. Ever since they opened it up to the public...humans think they got a right to come down here whenever they feel like."

Vince shakes his head adamantly in disagreement. "The Grid is as ancient a custom as your own courtship, Duncan."

"I know, but..." The huge arms cross over the massive chest wall. "...can't the Alphas find other means to make money...like we do?"

Vince snorts loud with the shaking of his head, knowing that "the Alphas" Duncan's refers to stem back to Jensen's own father Alpha and...you instinctively had to know that you never simply asked anything of those Alphas without requesting to be "seen". "The High Alphas of the Ferae Pack will do whatever the hell they want, when they want, screw all consequences."

Moira shakes her head, combing fingers through her long bangs to tuck them behind her ears. "It's why I refuse to live inside the wall, and be near that...only going to visit my elders of my old pack there. I try not to stay too long."

Vince looks across at his mate, making sure Moira caught his gaze. "I don't want you there any longer than a few hours."

"ooo...I gotta get movin'." Duncan places his napkin on his plate, slurping at the last of his drink. "I'm supposed to be back at the offices to pick up Mr. Shefford, drive him back home."

Moira shoots upright to wrap cookies in a papertowel. "Dessert for the road, Duncan." She also scurries to the fridge to find him a bottled drink with electrolytes. "Keep yourself hydrated, being out in the sun so long." Moira combs through the short hairs, petting the soft cheek. "...take care, sweetie."

"...thanks, Moira." Duncan looks down at the tips of his boots, a blush filling his face. "...Doc...an', uh..." He seems to have forgotten the first name of Dr. Genaro's friend.

Jared pushes up to splay his hands on the edge of the island counter. "You can call me 'Jared' or 'Jay'...Duncan."

Duncan almost does a polite bow, then holds his "food gifts" from Moira to his chest. "...all right then, Jared...have a good vacation...maybe we'll see one another again."

"...yes..." Jared bites the inside of his cheek to stem his want to say something more profound and memorable. "...lets hope..."

Moira walks out with Duncan to the front foyer of the house.

Vince makes sure Duncan and Moira are not around, then leans over to say to Jared. "That Alpha Bearer you don't think exists..."

"uh-huh..." Jared lifts his chin, waiting for Vince to prove to him they're real.

"—-that's exactly what Duncan is, man." Vince nods his head while Jared shakes his own, then Vince reaches out to clamp a hand around Jared's shoulder to pat him on the back. "Just thought you'd like to know that. I'll be over here at the stove-top grill in case you got questions." 

Jared stares with jaw slack, then blinks fast to try and wrap his head around the thought of two Alphas fucking and one getting pregnant with a resulting 'pup'. Frankly, his mind is completely blown away.

==&&==&&==&&==

The closer he gets to the guardhouse, near the front gate to the Ferae Wolf Pack compound, the more Vince regrets offering to bring Jared with him. He does want his brother Alpha to understand he hadn't been sitting on his ass at home, waiting to be "beeped" for housecalls and that the work he was doing actually had made several, if not a majority, of the differences in the wolf pack already.

Jared knows how hard Vince had busted his ass to get his medical degree, so it's awesome and thrilling simply to have the ability to shadow his brother Alpha and able to see him in real action. But as they slowly had driven up to the compound, Jared wasn't certain this had been a good idea, mainly because he didn't want to end up Vince's "nurse" or his medical assistant, running around while Vince barked orders. He climbs out of the antiqued ambulance—-a 1959 Cadillac Miller-Meteor limo-style endloader—-Vince drove them around in; Jared is going to see about upgrading his brother Alpha to a newer model, so Vince and Moira can have more reliable transportation. But, from the look of the sparse collection of cars in the parking lot, nothing appeared to be any newer than the 1990s. He supposes most of the villages and communities were self sufficient and independent, only needing a trip out of town to gather major supplies; not many flashy newer vehicles were needed. Especially if one had two good feet to walk with.

Jared keeps a slower pace behind Vince, walking with him to the shack the guards are housed in, right at the main front gate. Vince does most of the talking, familiar with each guard. They're allowed entrance through a smaller metal doorway off to the side of the fenced-in area.

"Do you have a preference of which side of the wall to see first?"

"...huh?"

"This 12ft concrete wall keeps the Alphas from picking up the scents and heats of lower pack statuses. Ferae Alphas can be...violent without provocation when it's non-Alpha. With each other, it's like one big circle jerk." He doesn't mean a real one, just that the Alphas get along better with each other and they are rather jovial in their camaraderie. "I'm usually treating them for minor cuts and bruises...broken ribs and bones...up to knife or sword wounds...a random bullet wound by a guard."

Jared thinks he should've prepared better for being here, or maybe the other side of the wall was the better choice. "Is this where the Gridiron comes in?" 

"Yup." Vince reaches out to touch Jared, get him to focus on him so he doesn't miss this information. "I also need to warn you that Alpha don't wear much clothing. Or none at all, at times. They aren't shy, is what I'm trying to say."

Jared shoots back in a bit of startled awareness. "Soun's like they almost wanna take care of themselves. You did tell me you spend more of your time on the other side of the wall, with the Betas and Omegas."

"They attempt to but even they know when they have to see a doctor or just a medical professional. They have a terrible time trusting other Alphas, not of their own pack." Vince clears his throat. "...an' don't forget that I also tend to the Alpha Bearers, along with the other pack statuses."

Jared shuffles his shoulders like he should be cut some slack. "Why don't these Bearers stay on the Alpha side?" He's not trying to be antagonistic, but he's curious why they would rather stay on a particular side, far from Alphas.

"They don't scent as 'Alpha' to a Ferae Alpha. There would be, uh..." Vince tries to look for the right words to say what he means. "...one of them, or both, would be dead."

"Seriously?" Jared can't believe that an Alpha could be that violent.

"No joke."

Jared has a thought pass through his mind. "You mean to tell me...sweet, docile Duncan can kick some Alpha ass?" 

Vince pauses, shrugging one shoulder. "He's getting better. He used to be scared of his own shadow 'til Jensen took him in."

"Jen-sen? I keep hearing this name...who is that?"

Vince wrinkles his brow. "You did see him, right?" He has some idea Jared wasn't that oblivious on his ride from the airport. "—in the back of Duncan's truck?"

Jared goes completely still, briefly. "He was asleep when we got in the truck, then—-lets just say I didn't see much of him, but I did witness an intense exchange between Duncan and this, uhm...Jen-sen..."

"oh, well..." Vince knows how Jensen can be with keeping to himself and those around him, not really welcoming to strangers. "...tha's Jensen for you. Give you the shirt off his back—yet, he won't give himself a break. He works as tirelessly as I, and the other doctors do. See..." He twists a little to keep talking to Jared as they take the long walk to the entrance of the Alpha side of the wall. "...Jensen's a descendant of the royal pack of Ferae, but...they don't acknowledge him or honor his birthright in the High Alpha court."

"Why not?"

"To them, he's not pure—-or I should say, a true Alpha, one that will carry on the royal bloodline."

Jared's body goes tense, for some reason he feels like he wants to defend this "Jensen". "Is he an Omega?"

Vince shakes his head. "...no...he's Alpha Bearer, just like Duncan."

Jared lets out a soft chuckle; he's gone from knowing none to knowing two already. "...jesus, man...how many are there?" What intrigues him is how they can scent like so many pack statuses at once, making his "status radar" seem broken or like it's malfunctioning.

"Not enough. The Ferae Pack are a dying wolf culture in their own right. Most are like you...modernized to the human culture. The purer packs live in wolf form with occasional human transitioning—-mostly to protect themselves from hunters and poachers. Wolf fur and meat...an' various other interesting body parts—-like teeth and claws—-are ending up as expensive accessories on humans more and more. Your more rich and bored, I suppose."

Jared is silent for a minute or two. "...like the one who killed the mother and 'pup'?"

"Yes. Most of the surrounding tinier packs around here look up to the Ferae because...it's as close to true wolf as they can get. Jensen plays at being a royal dignitary, going into these small villages to put a 'face' to the Pack. God knows Jensen's father and brother Alpha would never think to consider making alliances with these packs. They would rather keep to themselves, safe behind these walls."

Jared likes hearing this about Jensen; how he still thinks of himself as needing to protect and keep his pack members safe. As they near the barbed-wire fence, Jared wonders exactly what he's about to face. He can't help but notice Vince is a bit more fidgety, keeps turning back to say something, but shakes his head and trudges on through. Once they're beyond the entrance gate, the overwhelming stench wafts over: a combination of wet Earth, fertilizer and day-old dampness.

Vince hands Jared a medical face mask, with elastic straps to hook around his ears, as they attempt to find their way toward the infirmary's front doors. Jared hears Vince release a sigh at the prospect of not many patients to see. The Ferae Alphas were not known for waiting around, so Vince devised a way to fast-track the minor ailments nurses and physician assistants could handle, so that when he arrived all he had to deal with, on rounds, were the serious cases. 

They reach the nurse's station, Vince wanders around the counter to step behind the desk area to make a straight line toward his In Box. The nurse manager in charge easily strolls up to him, catching Vince up to everything that's going on at the moment and what will happen later on in his shift. Jared stands against a wall, just watching the slight bustle of activity; he barely sees a sign of any out of the ordinary pack that would tell him this could be Ferae Pack. He pushes off the surface, heading to Vince as he notices him making his way over to an end counter.

Vince gathers some files and his briefcase, turning to Jared. "Why don't you go exploring, take a tiny tour of the area." He's slipping out of his light jacket, letting one of the elastic straps of his mask hang off one ear.

Jared is aware that he's being dismissed because Vince knows he'll grow bored in under only a few minutes. He isn't sure he can stand the smell outside. Jared knows he won't be attacked as they will scent him as a strong Alpha, but wearing the mask might make him appear like a pussy. He suffices staying inside the building, holding his mask in his hand, then going around to look out random windows out onto the Alpha community. From the outside, Jared knows this place has to be two or three floors tall, trying to emulate as much of a real hospital as it could: having a small operating room, and a recovery wing. He figures this building must have a rooftop, and maybe he can get a bird's eye view from up there while wearing his mask in secret. As he leaves the main infirmary area, much like an emergency room, he goes exploring to find a set of Fire Exit stairs that will lead him to the top of the building. Jared takes three flights of stairs to pass through a door, already propped open. Seems like some of the staff come up here for lunch breaks, smoke breaks and, uh...actual sex breaks—-something about being around all these feral Alpha pheromones and energy, not to mention the stress of the working environment, sometimes just being plain bored out of their minds. Jared tries to find an area to be by himself in, without disrupting or disturbing the every day rituals he seems to be coming up on.

His first step is to look over the whole area of the Ferae Alpha community, which is impressive in its size. While the sheer volume of Alphas living in their own environment is imposing, how they chose to live is not. Everything is kept in a hut or some structure made out of sturdy wooden poles with thick muslin fabrics strewn over and across to give the feeling of enclosure. So much smoke and fire, a heavy gray cloud hovers over the air. Jared can detect a bit of organization, like a town or a village, sustaining on its own, but it looks ill-fitting and out-of-place. Their decision to remain stuck in a certain time period of their past doesn't make the Alphas look proud, just more stubborn and unable to modernize, or civilize, themselves for the benefit of survival. They conform, only enough to still have their freewill, but they keep warring within to stay as true to their dying culture or domesticate themselves much like their mated Betas, Omegas and Alpha Bearers had done years ago. Living as the Alphas do was a situation that cultivated sicknesses and disease.

The Ferae Alphas had strong immune systems, so they were never in grave danger, but they had started to slowly kill their own pack population; the lower pack statuses had good immune systems, but had different body chemistry that made them vulnerable, susceptible to viruses and deaths from airborne bacterial infections: medical conditions that can be treated by modern medicines and science. 

At some point, the High Alphas had to relent, finally opening their doors to outsiders, not just humans but other wolf packs.

Jared starts wandering around the rooftop, his gaze squinting to catch sight of anything interesting or out of the ordinary. He does manage to stumble upon a popular area on the roof, where spectators had a rare view of the Alpha training facility for the Gridiron. This was the only part of their community that made practical sense of their want of wearing togas and short gowns that reached mid-thigh, and their other ways of being half-dressed in appearance. Some Alpha are in full dress, with leather straps to hold practice swords and knives. Some prefer the higher risk of full nudity, talking all the dirt on their perspiring bodies, turning it into mud streaks. Some cocks are fully erect with knots swollen; others are only half-hard, trying to fight off another Alpha. Since they are among their brethren, it isn't beyond consideration that they would casually stroke themselves while watching fellow Alphas practice in battle. A few random Betas [ smuggled into the Gridiron ] are kept in secret areas to bring the Alphas sexual relief, either by sucking them off, helping them masturbate or offering out their wet willing holes. This is not done without consent; these are Betas who want to serve the very popular and highly respected Alphas of the Gridiron, both men and women.

Jared finds himself sticking around a little longer before he heads back inside. The strong odors are permeating his face mask, though, almost attempting to make him used to the intense scent. He knows instinctively these were the old ways of his wolf ancestors, but times have changed to such an extent that it's too much for his sensitive nose.

"Stay here long enough..." comes a husky voice interrupting Jared's thoughts. "...you'll grow accustomed to the smells."

Jared whips his head around. "How long?" He pushes off the red-brick railing, pulling off one of the straps around his ear. 

"Give it a year...at least." A puff of nicotine smoke is blown into the air, figuring the alternative is must nastier.

Jared swishes his head from side to side. "eh...m'only here for three weeks." Maybe.

The dark-haired man shifts off the wall he had been leaning on, taking a drag of his cigar as he approaches Jared. He's dressed in t-shirt and jeans with track shoes, a white lab coat covering all his clothing. He holds out a hand. "Kane. Christian Kane. They call me 'Chris'. I'm one of the attending physicians here."

Jared takes the strong, stocky hand, looking the outfit over. "Really? You certainly don't look like any doctors I know." Vince must be one of those rare breeds who still likes to dress nice, but casual in the sense of still wearing button-downs and ties with Khaki trousers.

"yeah, well..." One shoulder shrugs in exasperation. "...here, you can't be too big for your britches or the Alphas sniff you out. They'll refuse treatment, and, either they'll suffer a slow creeping death or they'll take whatever they have and infect other Alphas they happen to live with."

Jared folds his arms settling them on the railing to lean on. "They do know there is a better way to live, right?"

"oh, sure...sure they do. They're just stuck in their ways...pig-headed jackasses that they are." Christian snorts out a hard laugh with the shake of his dark head. He twists in profile to show his hair is pulled back into a clasped pony-tail.

"I'm Jared...Padalecki." As he proudly lifts his head on introduction, Jared scents Alpha. "I'm from Dr. Genaro's old pack."

 

**== &&==&&==&&==**   
**TBC...**


	2. Chapter 2

Christian nods his head in quiet acceptance, very relaxed in his manners. "I covered Vince's morning shift. Been over on the other side of the wall, tending to Betas and Omegas. Came back here to wait aroun' for my mate." He takes a long draw on the wet end of his cigar, pointing with his chin as he blows out a long puff of smoke.

Jared furrows his brow. "You're an Alpha, though...right?" This place was going to drive him fucking bonkers with confusing scents and their non-conforming ways.

"...yup. From a different pack, though. Like Vince is." Christian looks down into the Gridiron's practice ring areas. "I know it's rare for Alphas to mate—-form a bond, but between my own domestication and his...shockingly even-tempered nature for a Ferae...well, what can I say, sparks flew." He gives off a smirking half-smile, like he loves defying logics and natural instincts that some wolf cultures believed.

"How do the other Alphas feel?"

"Fairly uninterested. I guess, since they live separately from their own mates, they can see why Alphas would try to relieve stresses with other Alphas. Most would never act on the urge, no matter how intense—-would rather break your neck than fuck you."

Jared lets his eyes go wide in shock. "That is certainly a comforting thought."

"It is when you think of the alternative staring at you of being dry-fucked...or worse, dry-knotted." Christian gestures with his cigar hand. "It's why they brought the willing Betas in, but they don't step one foot out of the Grid. Alphas would eat them alive." He shrugs nonchalantly, bringing the cigar to his mouth as he squints. "...or fuck their brains out, literally."

"...jesus..." Jared isn't about to try to understand why the Ferae remain so violent, even to this day. "...why are they determined to stay so primitive in their character? Why haven't they been tamed like most of us Alphas have?"

"They only tried assimilation in the last 30-40 years, and sometimes that never goes over well when the High Alphas aren't very lenient."

"Forcing themselves to survive on their own has to have shifted their chances of true genuine growth." Jared wonders if this is where the science end of things comes in. "—why they're dying off now."

"Ferae Alphas think they're invincible...no one dares to tell them different. They can be, but they would still need the Alpha Bearer or an Omega to maintain full status quo."

Jared laughs harshly through his nostrils. "Funny...I had never heard one word 'bout Bearers...now it's become the only word I keep hearing."

Christian gives a soft smile, then a snicker as he looks off into the distance. "They're dying faster than the rest of the pack."

"Why?"

"Lots of reasons. One of them being...the very thing they do being what kills them."

Jared wrinkles his brow in deep thought. "...bearing a 'pup'?"

"yeah... they're Alpha, so they aren't docile. When their hormone levels imbalance, it's almost manic. Some don't have the system to sustain a birth, bleeding out and leaving the newborn motherless. Quite a few become depressive once they've given birth, try to kill themselves or their offspring. It's only in the last several years that it's been found that they have this manic depression state prior to mating. From their own births...from not being wanted or loved by their own parents, to just being treated barely equal to or lower than an Omega."

"...christ..." Jared felt his heart actually squeeze tight, never before having such an internal reaction to another pack status. Not even for Omegas who were his go-to pack to mate with. "An' Alphas never see or acknowledge this?"

"An Alpha who courts a Bearer wants only one thing...the chance of having an Alpha heir."

"I was just going to ask why they would even chance mating, if the outcome is rather dire."

"Not always. Thank god we've begun preventative measures to create a warm and loving...accepting support group for Bearers outside of family. We all have to thank Jensen for that." Christian narrows his gaze on Jared. "Not saying it's been a miracle cure and no deaths have happened at all, but the senseless tragedies have dwindled to less and less each year."

Jared doesn't know what to feel at yet another mention of "Jensen" and the tireless efforts he puts forth for his pack. "It's amazing what a little boost in confidence and self-esteem can do."

"Have you met any, yet?"

"Duncan. He, uh...he picked me up from the airport when I landed."

"...sweet kid." Christian stares down at the rooftop floor, letting a tiny smile slip out. "He's got dreams of owning his own limo service."

Jared shares in a small grin. "He drove me in his beat-up Chevy."

"Taught him how to drive in that piece of shit truck. He's got a soft spot for it." Christian starts talking animatedly with his hands. "He loads all of 'em in the back and takes them anywhere they need to go." He shakes his head sadly as his mind wanders. "It's why we can't believe he'll go head-to-head with his Alpha courting him at the Gallantry."

"What do you mean?" This is a new word for Jared. He isn't sure what it stands for.

"Alpha Bearers go through puberty, have their heats and find their mates. But they don't simply take an Alpha courting them, into their lives. They make them wait, they try their patience. They don't want any dumb-ass Alpha knotting them. They want a strong Alpha, one who is no match for them. It's a rite of passage call 'The Gallantry'..." Christian dips his head low to hush his voice. "...wish it was as the word describes."

"What do they do...fight each other with swords and knives?" Jared wonders if it's like the Gridiron for the Alphas.

"No...it's a bit like those human UFC or MMA fights, but they wrestle...trying to pin the other down on the count of 10. Or to some...they agree to the 'unraveling' decision."

Jared softly chuckles at that word. "...'unraveling'?"

Christian nods his head, laughing along with Jared as he proves what he says as truth. "The Alphas learn how to swath their genital and buttocks area..." He uses his own groin as a demonstration with one hand. "...in a very long piece of fabric. The Alpha and his courted Bearer wrestle and attempt to pull apart, or off, the cloth. A Bearer can keep the swathed cloth as a trophy, if he should win."

Jared raises a lone eyebrow. "And if the Bearer loses...?"

"By then, if the Bearer hasn't become aroused—-going wet for his Alpha...it'll be a painful knotting."

Jaw goes slack and eyes go wide. "In public?" Jared is astounded that after everything these Alpha Bearers go through they would subject themselves to this kind of humiliation.

"...spoils of war, as they say. And the fact that they make the Alpha fight so hard to be with them."

"...but they'll be tied together for a while..." Jared doesn't comprehend how that works in public with a rowdy crowd looking on.

"Not for some Alphas who pull out once they've spilled their seed."

"...ouch!" Jared shakes his head, snickering nervously.

"...no, not really a beautiful moment like some think. The Bearer can go into shock if they're not fully prepared. They can bleed from their hymens being torn...some vaginal/birth canal tearing...it's not something you wanna see happen. Especially to someone like Duncan." Christian stubs out his cigar as he throws it to the ground, smashing the end with his shoetip. "Or Jensen..." He mumbles that last comment under breath.

Jared goes still in stunned shock. "...wait—-what?"

"...hmm?" Christian raises both eyebrows to ask Jared what he's curious about.

"The male Bearers...they have a female reproductive system?"

"Male Bearers share the same body parts inside and out as females."

Jared swipes a hand over the side of his face, not sure his mind can fully grasp this idea of dual sexual organs on a pack member. He'll have to let that idea sink into his head for a while. "Both of them are being courted?"

"Yeah. Duncan definitively is, but some think Jensen doesn't like those Bearers closest to him to fight alone, so he'll arrange for an Alpha to court him, try to best him in the Gallantry."

Jared furrows his brow in bewilderment. "Why does he do that to himself if it doesn't have to happen?"

"They never win against him. Jensen is too good. Besides...I don't know that any of the Ferae Alphas would be able to withstand being mated into the royal bloodline. Too much pressure and stress. Having to live up to Jensen's father Alpha pompous reputation. Alpha Ackles is as pure a Ferae as they come...his eldest son as well. Jensen will never accept an Alpha he thinks weak to mate with, because the poor bastard would never outlast his father."

"I would assume these royal Alphas don't live here on this side of the wall."

"You'd be right." Christian turns so he can lean heavily against the brick railing to look down. "They're not fully domesticated like us, but they are tamer than the Alphas here..." He makes himself laugh before he even says another word by just the images of these Alphas in his head. "...they appear like uppity Barbarians, but they dress and smell better."

Jared laughs outright, shaking his head in all that he's heard. "Can't wait to meet them." He means this sarcastically; he doesn't even want to meet any of these Alphas in a crowded room or alone.

"Is Vince bringing you to the Gridiron tonight?" Christian squints over at Jared as the sun is at a peculiar angle behind the dark brown head; he moves a little forward to use the head to block the light.

"uhm...don't know." Jared isn't even clear on what he and Vince will be getting into the three weeks he's here. But it feels like they'll play it by ear, keep it so Jared can sometimes accompany Vince when he does his shift with the Ferae. "I would suppose." If he is, then he hopes Vince tells him soon.

Christian clears his throat, rubbing his hand under his nose, then sniffling. "They give us doctors free seats, and then want us to be there should any Alphas need medical attention, which they often do."

Jared is stunned to find out that Vince, and his colleagues, pretty much work 24/7, and then they wear their beepers to be called out at all hours of day or night. "Is this every night?" He doesn't imagine the Alphas do much else for entertainment.

"Just about. The profit the pack makes from selling tickets to this gladiator-type event keep these walls permanently up in order to keep all outsiders safe." Christian tilts his head, then smirks. "The Ferae have learned well how to make everyone serve purpose to benefit them."

"Is that, uh...Gallantry-thing...always going on?" Jared can't imagine that with the population of the Alpha Bearers going down that it's possible to keep having these bouts as often as the Gridiron runs.

"...no, not often." Christian shakes his head, drawing up his arms to lean on his forearms and clasp his hands together. "And it's not open to the public like the Grid is." He picks up on Jared's furrowed brow in curiosity. "The public sex...especially male on male knotting—-would drive humans nutty."

"yeah..." Jared holds up an index finger and shakes it. "...hadn't thought of that."

"Well...looks like practice is over for now." Christian pushes off the railing, wrapping himself in his whitecoat. "Gotta get down there and see if we have any new patients." He moves forward and holds out his hand again. "Nice meeting you, Jared."

Jared retakes the hand in a strong shake. "Same here." He watches Christian leave and almost bump into Vince on his way to the roof. The two doctors hug briefly and pat backs. Jared notices Vince now wears clean scrubs with a whitecoat over the whole ensemble. 

Vince hangs on the ends of his Stethoscope as he says goodbye to Christian, slowly approaching Jared. He sees that Jared has taken off his mask.

"It's why I stay indoors and I come here first before I head over to the fresher air. It can get in your clothes and burn your nostrils."

"Well..." Jared almost vibrates with all the knowledge he's gained by talking with Christian. "I thought I had kind of a sexist, chauvinistic view. I don't know that I'm as bad as the Ferae, though."

Vince chuckles softly, shaking his head. "You're not, man." He looks over his shoulder, then down. "Training seems to be winding down."

"You going to take me to the Gridiron tonight?" Jared leans over to elbow near or on the ribcage, making it seem like his brother Alpha's going to take him on a spontaneous date.

Vince stares at Jared hard. "You actually wanna come with me?" He can't fathom why Jared would, not after watching how they act from up above on the rooftop.

"I'd like to say I saw it once, before I go." Jared has a tiny bit of fascination with ancient wolf culture. He knows it's not how he and Vince's own wolf pack had been even a hundred years ago, but it's almost like visiting a live museum to be amidst the Ferae Alphas.

Vince turns to lean his left elbow and forearm on the brick railing. "I can drop you off at the seats, then...Chris, I and several nurses will be making sure the Alphas have emergent trauma care before and after their bouts."

"It's not truly like gladiators, is it?" Jared tucks his hands inside his pockets. "Where it has to end in death?"

"No, but if it happens accidentally, it's not considered a homicide." Vince can detect this stuns Jared to some degree; it had him, as well, when he first started working amongst the Ferae Alphas and often had to pronounce them in and out of the arena. "An Alpha who dies in the Grid is held in high regard. That is a respectable death."

Jared goes a little quiet with some shock, then tilts his head. "And, uh...what's this I hear 'bout—-what did Chris call it?...the Gallant—?"

"The Gallantry..." Vince lets a side-smile slip out. "boy-oh...you became fast friends with Christian." He's not jealous, this just isn't like Jared to suddenly be friendly with random Alphas. He usually sticks to his own pack for fear of competition.

"...good guy," Jared murmurs as he shrugs lightly. He hadn't been intimidated by Christian as he already had a mate to speak of—-no chance of competing. Plus, the Alpha himself was too laid-back and carefree. "Oddly, he's not the first Alpha to Alpha mating I've heard about."

"Steve..." Vince nods his head as he goes on to explain, "...Christian's mate manages the Gridiron. Probably the most docile Ferae Alpha you'd ever wanna meet. He proves that it won't be so god-awful to tame or domesticate themselves, if they put their minds to it." He throws his hand out to the side. "...you know, if they actually tended to miss their mates and wish to dwell with them again. I think they have too good of a time being 'Alpha' with each other to even care. Those that do, leave once the mating takes place."

"I'm told that the, uh...Alpha Bearers who are being courted are—-in this wrestling match of some kind...what? in a cage or a ring, forcing the Alphas to scent them feel their heat and wrestle them down?"

"It's an ancient custom for them, Jared. A lot of what they do makes no sense to pack like us. You have to have faith that they know what they do...and they hold true to their customs and traditions.

"oh, sheesh...I'm not complaining about the custom. I don't care 'bout that. It's the need you had to dissuade me from Duncan, like I'm an Alpha to be feared and I treat Omegas I'm with like crap or...whatever you think they become once I'm 'done' with them." Jared holds his hand up as Vince tries to interrupt him. "And I hear Duncan will run the risk of bleeding out and being violently taken in public, if he loses his match." He shakes his head at the idea he's being compared to that instance and found...worse? 

Vince averts his head, looking down. "He likes this Alpha, Jared. They get along fine. He has pretty much admitted that he feels 'things', but he won't know 'til he's in the ring. I can't have you disrupting that for him. Not for the games that you do 'play' with Omegas."

Jared still isn't convinced that he's worse than what Bearers go through to be with their Alphas. "...an' tha's better for him, then, say...an Alpha like me?"

"Don't get on a fuckin' high horse with me. Had you gotten here when you promised me—-last year—-you would've...you could've met and started courting Duncan. If you wanna be mad at someone, be mad at yourself." Vince twists away in mild frustration.

"I'm sorry..." Jared shakes his head, now covering both hands around nose and mouth. "I think we've both been in this Alpha-Alpha atmosphere for too long."

Vince has been able to maintain his own inner balance, but he is known to have temperate mood swings from time to time. "You gonna be all right?" He's asking because he has, at least, one more hour before he'll head over to the other side of the wall for the remaining parts of his shift; that's where a majority of his cases exists anyway. "You feelin' bored yet? Wanna go back home?"

"...no, no...I'm gonna be better soon." Jared tosses his head in the direction over the tall cement block wall. On the Alpha side, it appears more like a prison boundary line, especially coupled with the barbed-wire fence and guardhouse. "I'm looking forward to fresher air and some less aggressive heat...and odors."

Vince clamps a hand on Jared's back, pushing them both into motion, walking side by side. "I was told I may have to scrub for an emergent C-section." He pulls at his scrub top and pants. "So...well, they have to convince the Bearer his body just can't push out the 'pup'. He's not—-whoa...m'sorry...I know how you hate me gettin' gory with my medical jargon."

"No...keep goin'." Jared insists with the wave of a hand. "You were like this in school, needing to talk out patient cases with anyone that was around."

"Those were make-believe patients in faked scenarios, but...it did always help to speak out loud with you—-playing like you were my subconscious." Vince clears his throat, heading through the doorway, then down the stairs first. "I actually may need you to help me out. The Bearer's Alpha is there with him."

"You need my muscles?" Jared pretends to flex his awesome span of muscles.

"Well...kinda." Vince glances over his shoulder with a flicker of humor. "He's not as barbaric as some Ferae Alphas, but he's a huge believer in carrying on family legacy, so having a male 'pup' has been a huge-ass deal for him. He hates what this does to his mate, hates the pressure put on him and his Bearer. He could snap at any time. I need Alphas there to help me...to help him keep a clear head." He easily jogs down the second flight of stairs.

"wait, wait..." Jared snatches for Vince's arm to pull him to a stop. "...before you even start promising me I won't be used for gross purposes or I won't be forced to stick my hand into anything...being covered in bodily fluids or...god-forbid...blood." His stomach churns even at the very idea of blood. "I will gladly babysit this Alpha for you...oh wait, he is Ferae, right?"

Vince eases his elbow out of Jared's tight grasp. "Yes, but once he and his Bearer mated, he was one of those Alphas who went directly to living with his mate. They're no longer at odds, butting heads." He slow-walks along the wall, holding onto the stair railing as he keeps talking to Jared behind him, "...once the Bearer carries, he's more Omega than ever, producing estrogen rather than testosterone. A lot of times, these tamed Ferae find it tougher to return back here, so they live with their mate until they find their own home." He pauses on the landing on the halfway point, turning to face his brother Alpha. "And I do mean 'home', not a 'hut' or a lean-to."

Jared nods his head in understanding. "So Ferae Alphas can live beyond the wall?"

Vince twists to head down the next set of steps. "Those that choose to mate, yes...and mature out of their manly Alpha solitude."

"So...not all Alphas go into heat and want to mate?" Jared wonders what these Alphas do not to feel those urges to mate and procreate if their wolf pack is dying as fast as it appears.

"Correct." Vince squares his shoulders, turning his eyes on Jared halfway along the last flight of stairs. "What's going on? You feeling an urge you've never felt before?"

"No, well...don't know. For years I've been cool with the ways I've lived my life, the way I've expertly avoided commitment and having offspring. I've come to grips with never feeling that pang or the ache for a mate that you've found—-all of you...our old crew of pack that used to be nothin' but Bachelors. Now it's me and Milo out of us 9, and Milo still lives in his Mom's basement, and rarely goes outdoors to meet anybody. So, it's me—-the emotionally stunted cold-hearted bastard...and an agoraphobic, reclusive 28year old Alpha virgin..." Jared and Vince share in a few random chuckles at the sweet thought of poor, clueless Milo. "...and it wouldn't surprise me in the least if Milo finds a mate online before I do."

Vince shakes his head, laughing heartily. "Give yourself some time, huh?" He pats the flat of his hand on Jared's chest wall. "You might have an outdated perception of non-Alpha pack, but you try and your heart's in the right place. You jus'..." He's been waiting for a long time to be able to converse with Jared on such serious "relationship", mating topics. "...it's gonna take a while, but once your eyes are widely opened and you see a truth you're willing to hear, you'll be unstoppable where to know how to take things."

"Don't get me wrong. I love my life, but...when one side of my world is filled with imbeciles in the political arena, then I come here to see the lengths these pack go to...not only mate, but fuckin' survive in their world—-I don't know, feeling a bit small and insignificant right now."

"hey...didn't mean to bring you down on your first day here. Can't swear it'll be better, but it will be different and...it could start changing certain parts of you already in motion."

"oh, joy...this is also why I don't come here to visit you—-you always never fail to make me feel like I'm missing out on something great and fabulous."

Vince puts up hands in his defense. "That is you an' your own guilty conscience. I have nothing to do with that."

"...mmm, yeah...whatever...c'mon, I'm ready to get going. Go do your thing and I'll wait for you somewhere in the waiting room...or whatever that empty room is."

"...on my way, man."

Once Vince returned to the emergent care area it was a little over another hour before they actually left this side of the wall.

==&&==&&==&&==

The minute Jared crosses a similar metal doorway in the front gate, entering the other side of the wall, he can already tell he'll like this place better than the Alpha one. There are pack members walking around from building to building, going about their busy day like it is the middle of downtown in the heart of the city.

Of course, before Vince or Jared can soak up the livelier, and cleaner, atmosphere, they're met by two very tall blonds: one male, one female, both wore outdated casual clothing, but had on white lab coats just like Vince and Christian had. They were here to meet Vince, bringing him up to speed on the more prominent cases ahead of him. From time to time, they would pause and give Jared a glance, but for the most part, they both flanked Vince's sides, taking his bag and jacket as they walked all the way into the hospital. Again, a similar building as on the Alpha side, only there's one extra floor to handle maternity and birthing for the Omegas and Alpha Bearers.

Jared knows they had come in through the Emergency Room; this one is packed like a real ER. Right away, Jared tries to prepare himself for the unexpected. Instead of stairs, they are able to ride in the elongated elevator that can hold a stretcher. They go straight up to the maternity ward...or Labor & Delivery, making a bee-line for the special birthing rooms they set aside for Alpha Bearers. Already, the empty hall echoes with the screams as if someone is being tortured mercilessly.

One of the Blonds speaks out, "...tha's him—-our mother Alpha Bearer. Apparently, he's been like this at home since late last night." She turns to look at her wristwatch. "His mate just got off a long shift at work to come home and find his Bearer trying to give birth in their bedroom...it's, uhm...16hrs later since the first contraction and he's barely dilated a couple of centimeters more from the last time we checked him. He's been breathing and pushing—-with this intermittent screaming in agonizing pain...which is why he's utterly exhausted."

"Where is Connor now?" Vince uses the Alpha's name since he knows this mated couple all too well.

The other Blond, the male, takes his turn explaining. "He's there, but on the side of the observation window. We tried to let him in to see Terri, but it only agitated him more."

"How many have attempted to get Terza to let us help him?" Vince uses the patient's full name, giving them the respect they deserved. The interns could be the ones trying to build friendships, but he likes to keep a bit of a separation from them so they didn't forget who was the authority around these parts.

"well, there was me..." The female blond points to herself, then grabs her companion's arm. "...then Chad...an', uhm...Terri knew one of the male nurses...then Connor, himself." She shakes her head sadly, hating the sounds of pain she can still hear ringing inside her head. "We thought Connor would be the one to send Terri over, but...like I said, he practically bit his Alpha's head off."

Chad bumps elbows with his companion intern. "Don't forget, Katie...he has asked for Jen, so..."

"Jensen?" Vince goes a bit stiff at the mention of the Alpha Bearer's name. "He's over at the Oloko Village."

Jared's been silently watching the exchange between Vince and the two interning doctors. He's fully aware that they're Betas as they speak with a bit of an ingrained self-confidence at being under the training of an Alpha doctor. Betas are well-known for showing how much smarter and more clever they are than Alphas give them credit for. And when there are two, it's a certifiable wall of headstrong and willful control of power. Jared doesn't know how Vince manages not to pull his own hair out.

"yes, we know." Katie crosses her arms under her bosom.

Chad tilts his head with a slight smirk, making Dr. Genaro aware that they had this situation controlled. "We've already sent someone to fetch him."

"...damn." Vince rubs at his face, then along his neck to his nape. "uhm...I'm gonna give it a shot, plus...I'm going to try and examine him...talk to him 'bout where his head's at."

The three of them enter a room; Chad, in the rear of the line holds, open the door for Jared. The room appears to be air-locked, able to keep the space sanitized before anyone touches the Alpha Bearer in the birthing room. There's a weary man at the one-sided glass wall dressed in a backwards yellow gown, wearing a yellow cap with face mask hanging off his head. This is clearly the Bearer's Alpha, Connor; he stands with hands splayed on a raised shelf under the long plated, double-paned glass.

Jared spares a glance at the Ferae Alpha, but what truly makes him take notice of what's going on is that he, too, can now see through the glass over all the heads he follows behind. At first look, the view appears to be a man—-Alpha in size and temperament. He's completely naked but has a thin sheet covering the lower half of his body; his wrists seem to be attached to the upper bar of the bed he lays on and he's got something being held between his teeth to stem the screams he manages to utter beyond his throat. He's not being gagged to silence as much as given a bite-bar to clamp his snarling teeth around. His ankles are free as he tends to keep planting his feet, heels into the thick mattress he's on to gain traction and attempt to breathe and push, but to no avail does much of anything happen except more pain and agony. His wails have become tempered as his esophagus has gone sore. He doesn't like being kept in this position on his back; he would rather be on hands and knees like he is when there's someone in the birthing room with him, so he can spread his thighs and bear down when the waves of contractions hit him.

Jared had never imagined himself as having a compassionate nature or that he would ever feel empathy for those less fortunate, but in this moment he wants to storm into that room...cut those bound wrists, take away the bite-bar and just hold that poor Alpha Bearer in his arms. He glances at the Ferae Alpha, sizing him up in profile. While Jared does see the love and deep concern on the mate's face, he also detects fear and a rawness where the Alpha may or may not have felt like he was walking the edge of a weird mind-game of "Truth or Dare"...and Connor had felt more like confessing several truths to wash away any guilty sins, so the Creator above would grant him one more wish. Sad thing is, Jared isn't too sure that make certain the mate, Terza, survived was one of those wishes. And he's pretty aware that Terza knows this, and that could be why he wouldn't allow his Alpha near him, unable to listen to reason. It's as if both mates are making themselves suffer to feel like the other is sacrificing more: Terza to suffer the labor pains and Connor to suffer watching Terza suffer.

Jared is impressed with himself. He's always felt he had an observant intuition about people, especially pack, who wore every emotion on their sleeve; it made him a great campaign manager for his clients. This was the first time he had used this ability for something good. Jared steps to Connor's side. "Why don't we leave the professionals to their tasks...le's go see if we can't find some coffee or something to eat. Something light, not heavy or too sweet."

Connor doesn't even turn away from looking into the window, while Jared stares at his profile. "Do you have a mate?"

"uh-no..."

Connor slowly swivels his head to connect eyes. "...then you really have no idea what I'm feeling, or even what I'm going through."

"No...yeah, you're right. I don't, but you're not doing yourself any favors by watching him in pain, when you know you can't help him." Jared reaches out a tentative hand to settle on the Alpha's right shoulder blade. Light enough not to really press into the body, just barely touching the gown and clothes. "I'm not askin' you to stay gone permanently, just take a walk...stretch your legs...get some fresh air, clear your mind..." 

It's right then that the door behind them opens, bringing in a fairly tall, tri-colored blond haired man dressed in a V-neck long-sleeved tunic with linen pants and beaded flat slippers on his feet. Flanking his back are two male Betas. All of them appear as if they've skipped the elevator and run up the flights of stairs—-three flights to be exact.

Jared's gaze is drawn to the dirty blond-haired man coming for Connor, who hugs the Alpha tight, like a brother, then they embrace one another as if they're already grieving. A huge hand tenderly cups the back of Connor's head, sliding down to the nape and, when the bodies pull apart, Connor's face is shaped between bare palms.

"...he is stronger than he appears, Connor. All of our kind are...you must believe he will pull through this."

"I will. I do believe...he's already proved to me how strong he is. I simply want him to let go of control—-let the doctors help him." 

"He's scared, just like you. He's fearing that he won't ever wake to see his 'pup' or that he will drift away in a manner that won't be honorable."

"Tha's ludicrous."

"eh, that is the mind of an Alpha Bearer."

"...you'll talk to him, Jensen? Let him see reason?"

"I will try. I will surely try." Green eyes drift toward Jared.

Jared feels the brief stare pierce him with a shock. This had to be the "Jen/Jensen" everyone had been telling stories about. The plain sight of the enigma, when focused elsewhere, isn't striking until the green gaze turns toward him, Jared observes. Once he was caught in their beam, it was difficult to see anything else in the vicinity. 

Jared opens his mouth to speak, to not just stare rudely, attempting not to drool.

Jensen has a hard time forcing himself to be cruel, ignoring the strange Alpha he hadn't seen before. He takes quick stock of the height, the breadth of upper chest, going back up to the beautiful mane of dark brown hair to the ever-changing eyes gazing back at him. He feels a jolt of electrical current not felt in years for another Alpha; he curiously scents the air, not catching anything too pungent. Jensen turns his attention back to Connor as if the Alpha holds no more interest for him. "You will hold your son today, Connor...make no mistake on that." With those words uttered, Jensen goes through the door, entering the birthing room with Vince and the two interning doctors.

Jared hears Connor release a heavy sigh of relief, then can't quite pick up on the muttered words but they sound like, "Everything will be well, now that the Alamani is here."

Jared doesn't know what that means but the look of pure peace that comes over Connor's face speaks of some praise for whom he had faith was close to his Creator. He turns to look through the glass partition and watches mesmerized as Jensen does exactly as Jared had dreamed in his mind. They loosen Terza's bindings, remove the bite-bar and there is a brief embrace of Bearer to Bearer, so tight and encompassing, Jensen seems to almost take the whole of his brother into his own body; he's not even a very large Alpha Bearer to begin with, but he surrounds Terza in every bit of the comfort he needs at this point. Jensen pets the hair, caresses the face, places tiny pecks of his lips on drenched skin. Terza clamps his hands into fists, almost ripping the fine exquisite material of Jensen's tunic.

When Jensen finally releases Terza, everyone in the room allows him to get on hands and knees—-the way he's been wanting to position himself. Because Jensen stands at the side of the stretcher, there's no need to keep covering Terza's naked body. Hands now caress down the slope of the curved back to the round belly that almost touches the mattress and blankets. Vince places himself at the foot of the stretcher, bringing out a pen-sized flashlight so he can easily see the swollen birth canal and hopefully look deeper into the folds to check on how dilated Terza has become. Jensen is in a constant mode of bending toward Terza's head and neck; he nuzzles and nudges, probably whispering words that build the confidence and contentedness in the pregnant Bearer as he keeps trying to brace himself for each and every round of contractions.

With the shake of his head, Vince re-pockets the penlight, letting everyone know Terza isn't as close as he should be. Once the quick diagnosis is given, Vince and the two interns exit the room, leaving Jensen alone with Terza. It is now time to wait for a miracle...

Connor goes right to Vince the second he crosses the threshold; Jared is quickly there, simply placing the flat of his palm on the Alpha's right shoulder, on upper chest plate. "well—-any change? Has he agreed to the C-section?"

Jared notices that Connor is only eager for an update; he means Vince no harm, so he backs up, tuning out the discussion as he lifts his head to observe Jensen through the glass window. Jensen looks and dresses like the pack guru, but at his most fundamental level, Jensen is always going to be one of them—-suffering right alongside The Ferae. It would never work if he were true Alpha, like he was attempting to martyr himself a "do-gooder", nothing like his royal father and brother. What Jared had liked the most was how free Jensen was with his touches, how he had felt the very feelings of the moment—-tears shedding in pain and agony, while a certain light entered Terza and Jensen's faces as they soothed over his active belly. They were alone, another contraction hitting Terza and he falls on the mattress onto his left side, too tired to even roll onto his back on his own; he bucks, arms flailing but Jensen is there to hold him, hitching an arm under the left leg, creating an angle to expose the birth canal. It's an odd position to find them in, but it's obvious it somehow has relieved some of the pressure on Terza's pelvis and hips; he actually seems pleased that the pain dissolved so quickly by that simple action done for him.

All through the moment, Jensen had coaxed and nudged to kiss the perspiring flesh; Terza welcoming the ease of affection from one who understood too well the agonizing pain he was suffering. Another contraction, so close to the last, racks Terza's body, but since they were already in the position, the two Bearers ride out the seconds to reach another round of relief. Jensen immediately takes his arm, then his entire body away, showing Terza how he can hold his own leg in a similar angle. It's clear Terza doesn't want to let Jensen go, but since he has had two contractions in the span of only a few minutes, it's possible there's more dilation. 

Jared extends his arm, nudging Vince with his hand, making sure he knows to pay attention to his patient even though he's trying to reassure the patient's frustrated Alpha. Jensen is moving in the same position Vince had taken earlier to check on the birth canal's preparedness, but he does an added move of palpating the under curves of the protruding belly, to find out the position of the 'pup'. As Vince, Chad and Katie pile in, they take Jensen's old position at the side of Terza's stretcher, while Jensen moves to situate himself at Terza's back, able to bend and whisper in his ear. As Jensen pulls Terza to his chest, holding him while the Bearer silently sobs with head bowed, Jared notices that the dark head begins to nod. Jared actually releases a pent-up sigh, never knowing he had been holding his breath in wait; Jensen had finally gotten Terza to agree that other measures needed to be taken to bring this 'pup' into the world. Jared folds his arms, unable to not be pleased with the news and awed by Jensen's almost Messiah-like qualities when it came to his pack. It certainly didn't look as if Jensen let it go to his head, though. 

Jared watches as they get Terza bundled under sheets, and unlock the stretchers wheels to set it in motion. Chad and Katie both raise the railings to keep Terza in and give him something he can grip tight if he should feel pain along the way. There's an Exit door in the back of the room, and they don't even bother coming to get Connor, who stands still and proud, a hand covering the bottom half of his face. As the birthing room becomes empty, Jensen tries to pick up the mess left behind, just throwing things out of his way, but he manages to stumble a bit, like he trips over an item on the floor, but then he settles his body back to rights, balancing himself and opening the door; he appears to be heading right for Connor.

Jared sets himself on high alert, because he knows an Alpha's temperament is being tested. Jensen has just learned something—-Terza confessing every bit of he and Connor's secrets. It's possibly why Connor takes a few steps back as Jensen approaches him. Jared darts his gaze back and forth, not sure which one to watch or give his undivided attention to.

Jensen calmly crosses an arm at his lower back, settling his other arm to shove backward as well, one hand gripping on the dangling arm. It's a tiny subtle action, but it puffs out his chest; a chest that now shoves the soft curls of red and dark blonds high on the deep V-neck of the tunic. Jared feels his body tense and his pulse increase...god, he's never seen someone so serenely beautiful look downright menacing, seconds away from snarling or growling like a true Alpha would in his own pack.

And Connor cowers in front of Jensen, so Jared moves to stand in such a way to be distant, yet in the middle of what's about to unfold, preventing either one from pouncing without him stepping in between them. He can easily see in his mind—-Jensen grabbing the Alpha, throwing him to a wall or Connor...throwing himself at Jensen's feet to receive some type of mercy.

"Is this true, Connor?" Jensen tilts his head in a such a peculiar way, ear higher than his shoulder. He speaks with a deliberate tone, as if he has to say the words in his head so he doesn't just come outright and tear into the Alpha. "What Terza just said to me, in there...just now?" He quirks an eyebrow, taking slow, purposeful steps toward, while the Alpha keeps backing up.

"I-I-I-I don't know, Alamani...w-w-what are you—?"

Jensen shocks both Jared and Connor, somehow able to whip out his arm and jut one single finger into Connor's chest—-so hard. The two Alphas flinch, but Connor turns into himself, while Jared advances into the space between Alpha and Bearer. He will still have Connor's back until he pushes too many things out of his way to find himself against a wall surface. Jensen has barely touched Connor, but the Alpha is weakening in the knees, thinking about kneeling.

===&&===&&===

Jared is amazed by the calmed tension from Jensen; he can see the jaw clenching, the teeth clanging and squeaking as he gnarls them together to bite back his words. Jensen has taken away his finger, but now he's chest to chest; he evenly breathes, but his veins pump blood fast.

"If you are here to stop me from choking the very life out of this worthless piece of shit—-" Green eyes give a side-glance to Jared. "—-you better start restraining me now." It was a fair warning for what was about to come.

Jared hadn't even been aware he had been noticed by the Alpha Bearer, and he's fairly sure that Jensen is too tamed and peaceful to truly choke anyone—-even an asshole Alpha. "uh—-wha—? I, uhm..."

Then from out of nowhere comes a long, rolling and rumbly growl—-like an amplified purr, and before Jared can place his body between Jensen and Connor...Jensen snaps, his hand, palm flat, pounds hard on the wall where the Alpha's head would've been as he forces Connor to bend so low he almost sinks to the floor.

"aggghhh! no!...please, please!" Connor covers his arms over his own head.

Jared knows this is probably as good a time as any to step between Jensen and Connor; he thought he would be pulling an unruly Alpha off everyone, not the other way around. Even though his height blocks Jensen from seeing Connor, he manages to lower and stare hard at the bent over Alpha. "I took you in!...you worthless piece of scum! I took you into my home—-my family! I trusted you with him!"

Jared has to butt his chest wall against Jensen's and the contact is even more electric than just looking into the darkening green eyes, because the mere touch sparks Jensen into shoving Jared.

"—an' who the fuck are you!?!"

If they had horns, they'd be locking them and pushing the other to fall over.

Jared's head cranes back, feeling the hot breath pelt his bare skin. "I'm tryin' to make sure you don't murder an Alpha today."

"Why do you care?!" Jensen tries to go for Connor, sending out a kick toward him, but Jared's massive arm sweeps across Jensen's belly and pins him high on his own body where Jensen's legs thrust out and try to dislodge their connection. "—-get offa me!! Lemme go!! Now!! Do it!!"

Jared isn't prepared for how squirmy Jensen is, so when he thinks he has him pinned and unmoving, Jensen spins and curls out of every hold, and then finally other hospital employees come running into the room to see if they can help in any way. They were actually here to check on the Alpha Bearer's mate, stumbling upon a near physical battle of Alpha to Bearer...but it stunned them that it was their Alamani attempting to inflict injury on a Ferae Alpha.

"yeah!...could you get the cowardly lion out of here!?...before he gets hurt!"

Even as they take Connor away, Jensen still yells and kicks; this time the feet strike at Jared's legs. He clocks Jared in the back of the knee, almost breaking free to make a run for it, but Jared recovers quick enough to block the open doorway. He takes all of Jensen's soft shoves and softer body-blows that just mean to distract him, not hurt, and he bends to heft Jensen high in the air, tossing him over a shoulder. There is no place to squirrel Jensen away, get him into seclusion to cool down....well, other than the birthing room—-so Jared strolls right in and locks the door behind them.

 

** ==&&==&&==&&== **   
** TBC... **


	3. Chapter 3

Jared leans on the paneling, out of breath and watchful of Jensen, who has now begun to pace. At one point, he begins muttering to himself, covers his eyes to sift fingers through his overlong hair and then paces in a different direction—like he walks away from Jared, then he turns to approach. Jared isn't prepared for Jensen's secret dive for the door when he isn't looking, and then Jared snatches wrists to pin arms around and at Jensen's back. This brings them flush together, chests bumping, hips meeting...and Jensen's head fits perfectly under Jared's chin. For a few brief seconds, he looks like he's feeling faint, then Jensen leans forward to rest against Jared's chest wall. Jensen starts to sag, loosing fight and showing how exhausted he's becoming—like he had used every last bit of energy he had stored. And then not only does Jensen relax, he actually goes limp and almost collapses to the tiled floor. Jared's worried something might be wrong with the Alpha Bearer until he notices the bottom soles of those thin slippers he wears: he can see blisters popping through the worn material, and there's a faint trail of blood smearing where Jensen's been pacing. Jared looks down at the Bearer as he passes out; he feels brow and cheek...hot to the touch and quite clammy. Jensen tries to swallow while unconscious like he's parched and in need of a drink of water. Before he has Jensen coherent and awake, Jared hauls him into his arms, carrying him out of the birthing room, then it's anti-room, heading to where he can find a gathering of medical professionals that can help him.

The fact it's Jensen—the Ferae Pack's blessed Alamani—causes them to rush to take Jensen from Jared before he can place him down on an empty stretcher. They wheel Jensen into a large mother-to-be private suite and immediately treat him as if he's being rushed through the Emergency Room, hooking him up to a saline IV. They're wary of Jared—an Alpha—standing guard, hovering over Jensen; since Connor is a lost cause and scummy [ according to Jensen ], Jared would much rather tend to, and watch over, the Alpha Bearer. To keep Jared somewhat at bay, they pull the privacy curtain once they take off Jensen's clothing to put him in a hospital gown. The nurses put a call in to an ER doctor, who doesn't complain about being dragged up to the maternity ward—Labor & Delivery side—to aide in the care of the Alamani.

Jared knows when he's been dismissed, so he tries to leave the room without letting it actually pain him in his gut, the concern and worry etched on the weary lines around his features. He's working on almost very little sleep and nerves that are so on-edge they make him shake from the inside out; he had been worried about his flight out here and the time he was supposed to spend with Vince. He hadn't even been given a chance to decompress, so everything was coming to a head for him but being pushed aside with this new tension for the Alpha Bearer, Jensen...the great and blessed Alamani. He's still not sure what that meant. He sticks to a guard position just outside the open door, so he can at least hear what's going on.

By the time the privacy curtain is pulled back around, it's been nearly twenty-five minutes since Jared hauled Jensen into the ward. Jared doesn't care anymore about protocol, he pushes his way inside. They just barely give Jared a view of Jensen laying on the bed. Everyone is slowly exiting, having placed blessings and prayers over their slumbering Messiah's body. 

The ER doctor is the one left behind.

Jared feels he can finally step into view, coming around the thick curtain on the ceiling track. "Thank you for coming on such short notice." He thinks he sounds like he's the one in charge of Jensen, or will be since no one else stuck around to claim him.

The ER doctor takes another random pulse on the wrist. He's not certain he should be telling Jared anything but since he seems to be the only family member hanging about he begins to speak, "...heat exhaustion...with some dehydration. We'll know more with the test results from the labs we drew." He points down to the raised legs, with bandaged feet on pillows. “He must've walked on those slippers 'til they held onto their last stitches. It's not too bad. A few blisters—we burst them, got the puss out, peeled the dead skin back...” The doctor smirks when he sees Jared makes a disgusted face. “...yeah, okay...uhm...” He scratches at his forehead to keeping going with the medical situation, “...he has some injury to his heels and back of the ankles, right where the slippers fit. Thankfully nothing is infected, everything looks healthy—just heavily raw and scarred. We'll just keep cleaning the wounds and re-bandaging every few hours until there's new skin forming.” 

Jared can tell that a few things have been pulled and rearranged inside the room as this type of suite was prepared to hold an Omega or an Alpha Bearer about to give birth. He moves to the foot of the puffy mattress where Jensen's lower legs have been propped on pillows; the feet have been swathed in thick gauze. All Jared does is settle a hand on the hairy ankles peeking out from the blanket hem. "Did they throw out his slippers?"

"Yes...I'm afraid so." The doctor doesn't think it's too important to answer with more, but then something strikes him. "—wait...why? They weren't sacred to him or anything?"

Jared snorts out a quick laugh, shaking his head. "No. I don't think they were. I just need to be able to tell him where they've gone. If he asks." He doesn't know why, but he lets his hand trail up further along the legs. He fixes the calves to rest a bit straighter, more comfortably on the plushness, then draws down the hems of the blankets to fit over the footboard so the material tents above the toes.

"oh, oh-kay..." The doctor smiles as he lifts an eyebrow at the subtle things Jared does to Jensen. "I've never seen you around. Did you just move here?"

"No. I'm on vacation." Jared notices that isn't impressive enough, nor does it spark an interest in the doctor to know more. "I'm from Dr. Vince Genaro's old pack."

"ahhh...Vinnie." The doctor chuckles deeply, nodding his head slowly in gradual acceptance. "He's been a fabulous addition to our little hospital. I've known his mate, Moira, for years." There's a curious “dance” to eyebrows that almost alludes to knowing a certain history that no one else knows.

Jared really doesn't want to know anything secretive about his brother Alpha's mate, so he goes on as if he's still answering a question asked once before. "I'm down here for three weeks." He glances at Jensen as he says this, not sure why he wishes it were a little longer.

"Where are you from? The city?"

"yes..." Jared nods his head, crosses arms over his chest. "...afraid so." He gives a small smirk from the side of his mouth, knowing that urbanites and ruralites tend to become judgmental of one another.

The doctor raises his head, averting his gaze to somewhere on the wall across from where he stands. "I used to live there. Then I got burn-out like a fiend..." He makes a frightened face as if the memories still haunt him. "...now I'm out here and back to my old job, but with less stress." He shrugs his shoulders one at a time. "Go figure."

Jared comes up the side of the stretcher the doctor isn't on; his hand slides up the leg beneath the covers, showing a need to display possession—like Jensen is his and no one else's. He doesn't know why he likes how it unsettles the doctor, who mumbles something about needing to get back to his department; he writes a few more medical notes on a clipboard, then tucks his pen into his coat pocket. He wanders from the opposite side of the bed to come around and start slowly walking toward the door. He says that once he gets the test results back they will see where they are from there, then he gives a final nod and quietly exits. Jared feels bad about chasing the Beta away, but he had felt Jensen had needed to not be surrounded by too much stimulus. It was apparent that Jensen had been ignoring his own health while spreading himself too thin. 

If Jensen doesn't tend to himself, who does?

Jared stands at the middle of the stretcher, reaching out to feel along the ribcage and flat abdomen—not skin and bones, but no ounce of fat either. Jensen shoots a hand up to catch Jared's wrist, but then it's a death-grip turned loose as Jensen's fingers soothe up the forearm, back down to the bony wrist. Jared watches in fascination as Jensen opens those curled lashes, smiling softly to adjust his head on the pillow.

"heyyy..." Jared isn't certain what he should say as he's trapped in that dreamy green gaze zeroing on his face.

"hi..." Jensen's voice sounds light and pleased to see him, like they know one another. Jensen rolls his head toward Jared, almost turning his body, but Jared stops him by lowering the railing and pulling up a chair to sit bedside. He stretches to bump against Jensen so he doesn't flip onto his back; they have to keep his legs straight to raise his feet above his heart. Jared allows Jensen to have his whole left arm, now cradling the shape over his stomach. He takes a deep breath and tries not to show how affected he is by how good Jensen smells or how attracted he feels to the warmth emitting from Jensen's body. He closes his eyes when fingers creep up his shoulder to start sifting through his hair, playfully tugging on ends and shaping the lobe of an ear. Jensen looks at Jared through half-lidded eyes, like he's an Omega in love; a sharp contrast to the snarling and snappish Alpha from almost an hour ago. Jensen exhales the heaviest sigh, closing his eyes and drifting back into much needed sleep.

Jared waits a beat, then brings up his right arm, tentatively combing through Jensen's dirty blond locks; he's never seen so many shades of blond on one head of hair. There's such a vulnerability in Jensen sleeping that Jared bends low to sniff, inhaling that wonderful, tempting odor the Alpha Bearer gives off. Jared wasn't even going to expound on the intense amount of heat he feels. He leans closer, nudging his face into Jensen's, nuzzling the face and portions of the neck he can see; he's very pleased when this action elicits a dream-like ghost of a smile over Jensen's full lips. The hospital gown's collar exposes much of the bare skin to the upper chest. Jared nibbles along shoulder bone, licking down the bare skin that carries the barest hint of freckles before the chest hair begins to curl. Jared's becoming intoxicated under all five senses, so his licks turn to rough laps of his tongue as he pushes down the material to reveal the right breast, especially the dusky pink nipple. He licks over the nub, getting it pebble-hard, then he teases with the licks around the pert nub.

Even in deep sleep, Jensen exhales out a mournful wail; his right hand weakly lifting to cradle Jared's head to his body, fingers becoming lost in dark strands. It's not even registering in Jensen's mind that he has no idea who Jared is or that he isn't supposed to be this intimate with a strange unmated Alpha. The aftereffects of his dire medical condition don't allow him the ability to decipher through fantasy and reality.

Jared feels a stirring in his body, something he usually feels for Omegas, but now it's heavily laced with a feral need—a baser want. He opens his mouth and begins to suckle; he's played with nipples before. He has even gotten some Omegas off on the action alone while masturbating. He darts his eyes to look at the area of the hips and pelvis; there's a subtle movement of thrusting. The sleeping form waking subconsciously to give the body what it most craves. Jared doesn't suckle deeply as he sends a hand over to rub Jensen's belly, trying to slip down between the legs to feel the growing erection, if it's there. He bites gently on the nub, then plans on suckling briefly before he heads back to the neck and head. Just when he's about to release the nipple, he tastes the first drops of mother's milk—strange, because he's never known lactation to happen unless the Omega was nearing their heat, or a time of their system where they feel the need to mate. 

At first it's a shock, then it's a moment of testing the palette. Immediately following, then it's an instantaneous memory from 'pup' years when he had suckled at a mother's teat; the warm comfort and happy contentment coursing through his growing body. Suddenly, it isn't about claiming or sexual fulfillment; it has gone directly into bonding and connecting on a level of the soul. He takes the nub into his mouth, tongue cradling the stretched skin; he sucks in his cheeks and drinks the sweetness until he feels his body becoming satisfied.

He licks his lips, savoring the taste, then looks down at Jensen with a different set of emotions coursing through. He had wanted to have Jensen, be able to say he had been with an Alpha Bearer, contrast and compare to show his pack Alphas what they were missing, but all those plans had flown out the window. Jared doesn't want just a fling with Jensen; he actually wants to claim him, mark him as his so no other Alpha can have him. He stands from the chair, tucking his hands under Jensen's back, lifting him to properly lay on the mattress, pushing him as close to the other railing as he can get. Jared toes off his shoes, dresses down to his tank-t, leaving his jeans on. He takes the empty space beside Jensen, tucking his right arm under the head as he works the legs so Jensen can turn on his side, still able to rest his swathed ankles and feet high. Jensen instinctively rolls his body into Jared's, the sounds of the machines speeding up as Jensen wakens a bit, reacting to an Alpha being near, only to settle down again when he finds contentment in the strong arms and warm embrace.

This had been exactly what Jared had wanted to have happen, that even in sleep, as deep as Jensen had gone, his baser instinct had been to want—to need Jared, the familiar, yet mysterious body radiating heat he clung to. Jared feels some kind of vindication because it proves that Alpha Bearers didn't have to hold out for their own Alphas from the Ferae Pack. They could look to other packs outside of their compound. Jared has his arm loosely around Jensen, liking how much the Bearer huddles into him, curls about him to share bodies—even clothed. But the more he thinks about Jensen and the Alpha Bearer status, how they were dying faster than the pack itself, because of prior neglect and doing the one thing similar to Omegas who were treasured and adored for the lives the gave, the more he began to empathize and grow fond of them. Alpha Bearers were a guarantee that you'd have an Alpha—at least one, though you might lose your Bearer in the process. This scared Jared, to think about Jensen dying during, or after, giving birth to an Alpha 'pup'—his Alpha 'pup'.

Jared crinkles his eyes, wondering why had the Alpha, Connor, acted so weak. He had pretty much assured his Bearer mate, Terza, he would do what he could to have this 'pup', but at what cost had it been for the Bearer? Jared lets his fingers slide over Jensen's shoulder, coming up the neck and nape to disappear into the hair. The longer strands are silky-soft as he twists them about his fingers. He massages that area, heading up the back of the head; he feels Jensen shift and try to sink deeper into his body. Jared tucks his right knee under Jensen, essentially lifting him slightly to fall in between his thighs, still propping bandaged feet on his own ankles. Jared works it so they can both lay under the thin hospital sheets and blankets, containing their shared heat.

Hearing Jensen's soft sighs in sleep, with those puffs of warm breath pelting his bare skin, Jared knows this is right where he wants to be, where he belongs and where he will stay until his last dying breath. Jensen is more than a worthy mate, which makes Jared wonder if every Alpha is scared shitless to vie for his hand. Or maybe Jensen is the picky one, like he had ripped into Connor earlier just besting him by his presence and words alone. Jared would rather have Jensen like this, compliant and pliable in his arms. Jared can't deny he had enjoyed the virile and passionate Alpha-side that Jensen had shown, wishing to see more of it so he could tame it and make the Alpha his own.

Jared had fallen asleep, face buried in blond locks. He is woken when a hand frantically shakes him to open his eyes and begs him to get out from under Jensen. Jared pushes away the insistent hand, holding Jensen tight and pressing soft pecks against warm skin. He wants a better reason for pulling away, crawling from under his mate—that's the only way he sees Jensen now. He's proudly willing to mark and stake his claim, if that's what it will take to be left alone.

Jared gives a slight yawn-stretch, then rolls his head to look over at the person who dared to disturb him. When he opens his eyes, he sees Vince looking down at him. "hey, man..."

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Jared furrows his brow toward Vince. "What do you mean?" He keeps his voice low and deep.

"I asked you to watch Connor, and then I get out of the OR to find you—" Vince motions his hand in mid-air, not really pointing to the way Jensen is curled around Jared. "—not there. Then Connor mumbles on and on about some wild, confusing tale about the Alamani and you..."

Jared holds up his hand. "Before you start ripping into me, you weren't there. Jensen was prepared to tear that Alpha to shreds and then—he collapses on me—Jensen did. What was I supposed to do...just let him lay there and bleed, becoming more dehydrated?” He scoots further up the pillow he lays back on; his right hand moves to the opposite railing to press the button and slowly lift the head of the mattress at an angle. “Sorry if that pussified Alpha needs more hand-holding, but I thought it best to look after someone who seemed to be—kind of a, uh...Messiah to these people...this whole pack."

Vince still can't believe how Jared was able to get this close, able to hold Jensen; Jensen, who didn't believe there was any Alpha worthy enough to breathe the same air as him. Jared did have a good point, but it was still shocking to hear how Jared had dropped everything and had brought Jensen to those who could help. And then to find both of them huddled together, under blankets like they were mated—mates. It just appeared to be unreal. "I wanted to tell Jensen the news."

"Is it good?" Jared soothes over Jensen's spine, fingers diving under the ties at the back of the gown, along the curved column.

Vince gives out a small grin, nodding his head. "He will be very pleased." He wanders around the stretcher, doing his own check-up of Jensen as he peruses the hastily put-together chart: from bandaged feet to the pallor of his skin and making sure his vitals were good, showing that the Bearer was steadily on the mend. "Did he really give Connor a tongue-lashing?"

"yes...it was pretty brutal.” Jared chuckles deeply as he nods with a bounce of his head and smiling quite proudly. “I still don't know what it was about. You all had gotten Terza out of the room, and Jensen came out, gunning right for Connor."

Vince wrinkles his forehead in perplexity. "He didn't tell you?"

"No." Jared realizes how they must look, that they've been chatting like old friends and may have shared some intimate moments. "He and I have barely said a word." A coherent word, in truth.

"hmm..." Vince stares down at the tip of his pen, about to write some notes. He taps it lightly, then clears his throat. "...seems Terza's not the only mate Connor has taken."

Jared goes still and quiet. "Why would that be a—?"

Vince makes a face that stops Jared from saying one more word. "Terza finally told us why he wasn't allowing Connor near him.” He crossed his arms and leans a bit on the railing that's still raised. “Pressure to produce an heir, and with Terza's difficulties in these last few months, Connor's family strong-armed him to take an Omega—an Omega who is now carrying, by the way."

"...ssshhhiiittt..." Jared sees why Jensen had nearly gone ballistic on the Alpha. "...while Terza attempts to naturally give birth to their 'pup, or 'pups'." He shakes his head at what a dick move Connor had done, even for a hard-headed Alpha. "...well, you did say Jensen will be pleased."

Vince nods his head, broad grin splitting his lips open to show white teeth. "Terza and the 'pup' are doing fine. A strong boy."

Jared can tell Vince is a little unsettled by something else. "What? Terza is okay, you said." He dips his head to wait for the bad news.

"Yes, for now. He's over the moon with being able to hold his son.” Vince sets down the clipboard for a little, bringing a hand up to rub his chin, then rest the elbow on the railing ledge. “The only thing is, I think he's purposefully ignoring what's happened—what he learned with Connor's confession."

Jared wrinkles his brow in bewilderment. "Has anyone met this Omega?"

"No.” Vince shakes his head, then lifts one eyebrow; his own curiosity is piqued just because he thought better of Connor as an Alpha, one who couldn't be weakened under pressure. “Connor's been hiding her with his old pack, outside of the compound. He's been going to her while Terza's been thinking his mate's doing work for his father Alpha."

Jared blinks slow, reopening his eyes to feel a sudden concern for the Alpha Bearer, only because of what he had been learning over the last few hours. "Do you think Terza might harm himself? Or the 'pup'?"

Vince juts his index finger at Jared, pleased to hear his brother Alpha's been actually listening. "I'm not sure. Terza was one of the Alpha Bearer 'cubs' Jensen took under his wing, like with Duncan." 

"yeah...” Jared looked away then started nodding his head in agreement as he recalled the words Jensen had uttered, more like growled on a low rumble at the Ferae Alpha. “Jensen had snapped at Connor about 'taking him in' and trusting him to take care of Terza."

"Jensen worked hard with that boy, more than any of them. He put Terza through a lot to get him better, to see himself as worthy. Connor and Terza were both instantly attracted; Connor properly courted—Jensen acting as Terza's family during each meeting. Then once their Gallantry bout arrived, we all knew Terza would allow Connor to best him, which he did. They mated in the ring with little-to-no-pain. Terza didn't carry right away, but soon enough they were with 'pup'. Jensen considers them as one of his few success stories, but now..." Vince shrugs one shoulder, twisting his head to look down.

Jared is starting to understand why Jensen acted as passionately as he had; it hadn't been some random rampage. Jensen had truly been gutted and had felt an idiot. "Connor not only fooled Terza, but Jensen as well."

Vince nods his head in agreement, lifting both eyebrows. "And the saddest thing is, everyone would've warmed to this new Omega mate had Connor's family not forced him to keep her hidden." He shakes his head in sadness at the loss of what could have been an easy road for the Alpha had he just had faith. Alphas listen too much into rumors and gossip that their Alpha Bearers are somewhat a weaker sex, even weaker than Omegas.

"...jesus...maybe I shouldn't have gotten in between them.” Jared glances away briefly, then turns back to look at Vince. “I may wanna take a crack at him myself." He tightens his jaw, biting the inside of one of his cheeks.

"I told Connor he had a son an'...he lost it, cried in my arms to an embarrassing level.” Vince is relaying the information so Jared knows Connor had genuinely been affected by the whole ordeal, and massively apologetic the same. “Told me he was wrong to lose faith in his mate, turning only to his family, thinking Terza would let himself be sacrificed for their 'pup'. He had no idea that his mate had that kind of strength, nor that he could still love him despite—everything."

"Maybe—just maybe...” Jared raises his chin proudly, thinking that an Alpha Bearer just showed an Alpha what he was made of. “Terza's alive for no one but that 'pup'."

"Tha's what I was thinking.” Vince gives a worried look to Jared. “Terza knows how weak his Alpha can be. I wouldn't be too amazed if he holds that over Connor's head; no one would find him at fault."

"He has every right to be.” Jared clears his throat, tucking his arm behind his head. “—god, it's a rather confusing life for an Alpha Bearer, continually having to prove themselves in everything with nobody supporting them but their own.” He turns his head to stare over at Connor. “They struggle with self-worth from childhood to mid-20s; it's only when they mate that they feel some purpose. What kind of life is that for any pack status?"

Vince reaches out to clamp a hand on Jared's body. "And now you know why Jensen does what he does. Often alone with his own strength and willpower.” He grabs hold of the bedside table, cranking it higher so he can use it as a mini-desk; he sets the clipboard down to start writing notes. “It's no wonder people praise him, treating him like he's a saint, or Jesus. They forget that Jesus was once a human.” Vince pauses in his scribbling, narrowing his gaze on Jared. “Jensen is the man he is today by his own hands. That's probably why his family keeps their eye on him, but won't acknowledge him publicly."

"...an' he is still unmated?” Jared furrows his brow in wild wonder. He still cannot believe Jensen has managed to remain single for this long. “How is that possible?"

"Jared...c'mon, man.” Vince lets out a slow sigh of exasperation. “I don't even want to fathom why you wanna know this."

“He's picky, isn't he?" Jared throws out the first thing that comes to his mind.

Vince snorts in stilted laughter, because, while it is true, it's a bit more complicated than that adjective describes. "He's a little more than 'picky'. He's never had a favorable view of Alphas.” He notices that he's caused Jared to become even more intrigued. “Being that for the longest time, it was only Ferae Alphas on the market. But even with other packs, usually tamer and more modern, Alphas still lose their luster because now they seem weaker and domesticated out of what makes them Alpha."

Jared makes a face that shows he can understand that viewpoint. "How can any of us compare to him—to his life? It's not possible to impress him once you're scented as an Alpha."

"You can try.” Vince doesn't want to mean Jared, himself, but he knows his brother Alpha will take it to mean as such. “Jensen isn't only Alpha, Jared. He needs a mate who can handle every part of him, and not tire of the changes in moods. His Alpha-side is aggressive and mean, while his Omega is..." He gestures to the way Jensen is draped over Jared's chest. "...this would be the Omega-side needing the emotional petting and the affection—well, you got that portion down pat." Vince makes a sour face as he's not sure if he approves or disapproves; what he does know is that a lot of Ferae will be very upset, including his own mate.

"And the Beta in him? I know you said at their core they're 'Beta'."

Vince knows Jared's never liked, nor truly appreciated a Beta in any situation, but he thinks Jensen could change that fact. "His mate needs to be smart, not intelligent. Able to match wits and be clever enough to see through certain situations. Betas can be intuitive, and haughty in their knowledge, besting you in being brilliant and wildly brainy."

Jared shrugs a shoulder. “I don't mate with Betas, but I have liked the few I've met."

"I know, I know...” Vince holds up his hand, palm out and shakes the shape around to stop Jared's tirade about his preferences. “You love your precious Omegas, that's rather obvious, but...this is a such a smaller part of who he is."

Jared lets his hand slide down the nape to brush over the back, then trace the spine. "He's neglected that part of himself for too long." He can't even mention how perfectly Jensen fits against him, or how comfortable Jared feels holding him close in this manner. 

"Jay, please...” Vince closes his eyes briefly, making a silent prayer to God that Jared uses some common sense in this moment. “Don't do this unless your heart is fully in it."

"oh, I'm in it.” Jared knows he probably looks like a douchey Alpha—relaxing back in bed while he holds tight to his mate, like he's in control. Trouble is, Jared feels about as powerless as Jensen will feel once he wakes. “More than you even wanna know." He plays with the cut ends of the sun-streaked blond locks. 

"What does that mean?" Vince wrinkles his brow in confusion, not sure where Jared is going with this point.

"The Gallantry—Duncan's got a bout, an' I hear so does Jensen."

"True, but...it's a bout Jensen can easily win."

Jared nods his head once. "Good, 'cuz I'm putting myself out there." He's not even going to look at Vince to watch his disbelief flourish.

"You're gonna court Jensen?" Vince says the whole sentence like each word is tougher to let out than the last.

"No...well, yes, but not like those other Alphas do."

"Jay, no...c'mon.” Vince feels his body sag in weariness, sometimes it never pays to get into his brother Alpha's head, make him do the right thing, for the right reasons. “It's only fair." He knows all too well how sacred The Gallantry is for Alpha Bearers. Taking that away from Jensen just might put Jared in a bad light.

"And—I'm not a Ferae, so why would I even put myself in that ring with him?” Jared hopes he's never come across as a violent or rough Alpha. He's not about to become like a Ferae Alpha just to get a potential mate. “I don't wanna hurt him—don't wanna 'best' him.” He wonders if any Alpha or any status of pack had tried to win Jensen's favor with just a modicum of tenderness laced with pure predatory sensuality. “If I let him 'win', I 'lose' him, right? So why even start?"

"Because it's tradition—tradition for him.” Vince doesn't know how many times he has to drill it into Jared's skull that Jensen clings intensely to things staying the same, tradition and routine, almost ritualistic. “He'll never be accepted by his own pack, if he doesn't go through the Gallantry to find a mate."

"I think that's a lost cause, Vince.” Jared blows his brother Alpha off with a flick of his hand. “Really? He's been this long without them, not caring what he does, you think losing a bout to a Ferae Alpha is gonna suddenly put him on their good side?" He knows much of what Vince has been subjected to is the heart and mind of his mate, Moira, but she's not doing him any good, except turning him into a “Yes!Man” that simply parrots whatever his mate says or thinks.

"You're right, but...you don't know Jensen. He's pretty stuck on traditional events and finding his Alpha inside of the ring."

Jared doesn't fathom how Vince can't see exactly what could be going on, right under his nose. "You don't think his father and brother Alpha wouldn't use his loss to a Ferae Alpha as their own victory? To gloat? To show him they were right all along? That he's weak and only worthy of their love when he's under the control of a Ferae Alpha—like them?" He can tell by the way Vince's features go blank a little that his words are hitting home, straight to Vince's own thoughts.

"christ...put it like that, I'm with you 100%, but..." Vince motions to Jensen, letting out a soft smile, not envying his brother Alpha's position. "I'm not the one you need to convince or impress. And...you've already seen his Alpha-side in action. It's not going to be an easy road for you, man."

"Suddenly, I'm not caring what hoops I have to jump through, as long as it's him at the end." Jared looks down at the dirty blond head on his chest, petting over the tri-colored locks. "I'm more than willing to use these entire 3 weeks to show him I'm exactly the right Alpha he needs."

"oh, boy...” Vince knows, for sure, that he's just nailed the last spike into his coffin, because he can no longer argue with Jared. “Moira's gonna kill me."

==&&==&&==&&==

As Vince and Jared have been conversing for a while, Jensen begins to stir, waking to a conscious world around him. Except he's still caught in his drowsiness and hallucinations. As he stretches and moves around, Jensen slides his head across and up, tucking his face away in the warm neck crevice. Nibbling and nuzzling at the skin there, he throws a leg over and uses his hand with the IV attached to lift up the gown material and rub, tantalizing the body he senses under him, to take him...like he had before. His hands find balance, planting flat on the bed as he pushes his body in to release the tension inside. 

Jared closes his eyes, arching his head back at feeling soft nibbles and warm breath to his neck, then the soothing of a hardening groin over his own crotch. “Tell me, Vin...how do you ignore shit like this when he seems to act like we're already mated?”

Vince can't believe what he's seeing. Jared hadn't done a thing, and Jensen had suddenly become this sexually aroused entity. Awake, Jensen fought tooth-and-nail to not succumb so easily to any Alpha that might have an interest in him or who had an inkling of an interest. Problem was...they were running out of Gallantry-worthy Alphas who weren't treating the bout like some kind of sport—yet another pack member who could spin a take of how he fought and “let” Jensen win. So the idea of Jensen allowing his subconscious to take over, of letting his body finally have what it must be craving – a mate and its wants—needs—with an outside Alpha. Well, apparently Jensen needed Jared; there was no doubt about that fact.

Jensen untucks his face, sliding the cheek up, along the side of Jared's head, then he merges their foreheads, ready to open his lids to look eye to eye. Jared lifts his hands to secure about Jensen's waist, feeling the softness of the underwear worn under the hospital gown. One hand slides down moving over an ass cheek, fingers embedding to pull open the crease. Jensen blinks fast, waking and immediately going stiff at the sight of Jared underneath him, then glances down to how he must appear, and he's about to panic and fight his way out of the hold the Alpha has on him.

But before he can strike out with a bunched fist, there's a strong arm across his chest wall, hauling him backward.

“...get up, Jay...” Vince had moved into position and was now willing to subdue Jensen before he actually hurts his brother Alpha. “...just ease out of bed, slowly.”

“Okay...but I'm not—leaving...” Jared was slipping away gradually, taking each inch off the mattress as slowly as possible to land on his feet.

“I know. I don't want you to, just—dammit!” Vince hadn't been prepared for the elbow to his gut. “...come here!...” He's trying to grab for any limb he can latch onto, but Jensen is a slippery sucker because of his small stature and his low weight. “...he's in shock...he's stiffening his body, preparing to attack or fight...help me get him in bed, laying on his back.” Vince doesn't want to use mood enhancers or synthetics on Jensen, nor try to bind him to the bed in any capacity like he's being held captive against his will.

Jared pulls up the railing to contain Jensen from being able to easily slide down and away; he'll have to climb over in order to go anywhere beyond Jared's line of defense. Jared's a huge Alpha; his whole body can protect the entire side of the stretcher where the Exit sits. 

Jensen is huffing and puffing, almost panting with every heave of his chest. The heart rate even sounds erratic in the air, beeping like mad as Jensen seems to spin out of control. Even in his haze, Jensen finds that more distracting than having woken in the larger Alpha's arms. He doesn't like the noises it shrills in his ears, nor the idea that it's him being crazed that makes it sound that way. He holds both sides of the railings, hands forming fists and pale fingers go blotchy and red. The two Alphas are trying to get him to lower his body and lie backward, head on the pillow.

As Jared helps to ease Jensen onto his back, having to restrain him. “...this isn't my fault. I was only following my instinct...” He sounds pathetic to his own ears, almost like he's begging for some kind of forgiveness—a whiner. It's not easy for Jared to see Jensen like this and being one of the two Alphas holding him to the mattress. “It was what I felt. He feels it too, I know he does.” Jared says that last group of sentences under his breath, willing the Alpha Bearer to have some kind of coherency so he can at least disagree or agree with some attitude attached.

“Hey, hey...stop it!” Vince reaches out to clamp a hand on Jared's shoulder. “His guard was down from being momentarily unfocused. Some deep-rooted feelings beneath must have surfaced.” He realizes they will need another body to help, preferably one who can get Jensen's doctor to give an order of Ativan or something equivalent for Bearers.

A nurse enters once the button has been pressed, and when she recognizes Dr. Genaro she moves to the side of the bed he's on, holding the ankles to the pillows. “I believe there should be a standing order . Want me to still give him a call, Doctor?”

“No, no...” Vince can see that Jensen has shut his eyes and seems to be heading into some trance as he decreases that messy heart rate. “...Let's try a first dose, see if that calms his aggression down. He's still an Alpha, so he'll fight us—fight the drugs no matter what we give him.” He glances over at Jared who just stares down at Jensen, making sure he spies any random movement that could render him powerless. “Try to talk to him...say something in his ear that'll get him to relax more—to settle down.”

“Like what? Sweet talk him?” Jared snorts out a laugh, like it'll ever happen. “Seduce him?”

Jensen opens his eyes rather quickly to twist and stare up at Jared.

“I don't know. Speak to the 'Omega' in him, man. You know how to do that.”

Jared loosens his hold slightly, pushing up a bit to look at Vince as he's put out by the assumption he can sweet talk any Omega to a certain calm. “Why don't you just tell him you have some good news about Terza—that might...”

“Terza!” Jensen yanks feet, arms and his whole body from all three people trying to hold him down. He sits upright in the corner of his stretcher, back to the railing on the right. He pulls his legs to his chest, placing his bandaged feet on the mattress with ankles crossed; he'll use both soles to push at anybody coming at him. He will kick away that civilian Alpha who can't stop possessing him, making it appear like they've already mated.

Jared thinks it's cute the way Jensen looks at him, all mussed hair and gown drooping low to reveal a deeply heaving chest. Jensen side-eyes him, having feet extended to kick at Jared, keeping him at a fair and just distance from his person, but looks to Vince for information.

Vince tells the nurse they won't need the medicine, but to be on alert. He lowers the bed so he can sit. Once he's on the mattress, he directs Jared to lower the railing on his side, then to take a seat so he and Jensen can talk.

Jared complies, but he drags over a chair to the side of the bed, needing to feel Jensen close, even if it's only the bandaged feet and ankles. As Vince relates to Jensen about the procedure, and how Terza did wonderfully, that there was a healthy wailing boy Alpha 'pup' as a result, Jared tucks his hand under the blankets to reach out and touch the bandages. His fingers trail up the dark-haired legs and warm skin; Jensen doesn't even flinch from Jared's caressing. Jared watches the array of emotions cross that face he's growing to find irresistible, feeling his own emotion matching. He wants to hold Jensen the second he sees him avert his head to shed tears of joy with the slow close of his curled lashes on pale cheeks. Vince is there to comfort, laying a hand on Jensen's shoulder. Jared actually feels a burst of jealousy, a want to swat off that innocent touch between good friends. His own hand keeps massaging up to the back of Jensen's knee, but stops when moist green eyes turn to him, begging him to stop—to leave him be. Jared swallows, figuring out Jensen had known all along that he had been touching him. He pulls away from under the covers, silently agreeing to behave as he sets his hand on the blankets above Jensen's legs.

Jensen wipes a wrist at his nose, throwing off the covers. “Come...find me my clothes. I should go see Terza and his little one, then be on my way to—”

“No...”

“No!”

Jared's command was a little louder than Vince's, more Alpha and “do-as-I-say”.

Jensen glares at Jared, then twists to face Vince. “I am better. I am fine.”

Vince clears his throat, nodding his head. “Yes. You look great—well-rested and even—” He's about to go on talking with his hand, but Jared interrupts him abruptly.

“You do realize your feet are bandaged?” Jared asks with a lift of an eyebrow.

Jensen tilts his head as he glares at Jared and snaps, “I'm not an imbecile! Of course I know my feet are wrapped in bandages!”

“Sooo...” Jared rolls his hands as if he's about of figure out what Jensen will use as an excuse. “How do you think you'll get out of here, huh? You don't have proper footwear.” He looks down at the tops of the perfect feet—well, they would be perfect if they didn't look so bruised, rubbed raw and battered. “You probably can't even stand, and I'm not sayin' from your injured feet. You slept heavy for a reason, Jensen; you haven't been taking good care of yourself.” Jared hates how his own voice sounds to his ears, like a pissed off parent.

“Jared—stop.” Even Vince is cringing at the brash attitude Jared is using that doesn't sound compassionate like it had before.

“No!” Jared moves to stand, hands on hips like he refuses to back down. “It's like he thinks he's invincible.” He likes staring down the Alpha Bearer as he keeps talking to his brother Alpha. “Or he's like one of those bratty 'cubs' who likes saying or doing the opposite of what you want.”

“I think no such thing! And...I'm nothing like a, uh...'bratty cub'!”

“Oh, yeah?!” Jared cracks up laughing too loudly as he crosses arms over his chest. “Then what the hell was that you just threw at us, 'bout ten minutes ago? It was, like, an adult-sized tantrum.”

Vince lets out a snicker then quickly apologizes for the outburst. “He's right, Jen.”

Jensen can't believe his good friend is siding with this stranger Alpha. “I do not...throw tantrums!”

“No, no.” Vince wipes away what Jensen thinks he's agreeing with. “About the medical stuff. I'm not your physician, but even I would want you to rest and relax one more day before heading out. You weren't severely dehydrated, but the heat exhaustion does worry me.”

“I'm fine, Vincien, truly...” Jensen reaches out to tenderly touch the Alpha's arm. “...I am. I promise.”

“You always say you are, Jen, an' I bet you've been sayin' that to me—to us—right up until your collapse in Jared's arms.” Vince is worried he's been neglectful of one of the more important Bearers he should have been keeping an eye on, even if he refuses to be cared for.

“I didn't—I don't...faint,” Jensen utters the final word on a whisper under breath, because it's exactly what he knows he did in this, uh...”Jared's” arms. Looking at them now, all flexing biceps and sinewy muscles with pin-point tendons popping out at the joints, they look like beautiful, strong arms that have held him for whatever amount of time he had been out. 

“You did, Jensen.” Jared bends his head to lock gazes. “I agree with Vin, one more day of rest won't kill you.”

“But...” Jensen glances between the two Alphas: one he trusts and the other he feels like he can trust, but is afraid the offering won't matter much to him. “...those families. The funeral is tomorrow. I have to be there.” He doesn't know how much more he can stress this point.

Jared moves to lean on the stretcher as he cups Jensen's left leg. “Agree to stay the night, then I'll drive you myself to the village as early as they can discharge you.”

Jensen continues to let out little heaving sighs as he looks at his feet, then the IV in his hand to the machines surrounding him at his back that keep his vitals recorded and show his oxygen levels. He looks pleadingly at Vince. “I'll drink plenty of water...I swear.” He holds a hand flat to his chest, over his heart.

“Oh, Jen...” Vince shakes his head as he places his own hand over Jensen's. “Wish it was that easy. Dehydration isn't instant to cure, unless you've been walking the desert in over 100-degree temperatures. This has been gradual, over a long time, my friend. You have got to take better care of yourself an'...” He's able to pull Jensen's hand off his body to hold it in both of his so he can make sure it's clear how serious the issue has become. “...learn how to say 'no' every so often. You might be the leader of your Alpha Bearers, but that doesn't mean you can't have a life of your own...even a mate and 'pups' that are just as strong and pig-headed as you.” Vince reaches up to knock on Jensen's temple, watching the Alpha Bearer smile and look away shyly.

Jensen dips his head to blush, extending his hand to playfully shove at Vince. “I hear you—I do. I just...I want them to know we grieve with them, not just in spirit, but in heart—face to face.”

Jared takes a hard swallow, unable to not agree with Jensen's way of thinking. He shifts down, lifting Jensen's ankles and feet so he can sit down and place them on the thickness of his thigh. Jensen attempts to pull away, but Jared holds tighter. “Don't. We only wanna help you get better so you can reach out to them—whomever 'them' might be for you.”

Jensen wrinkles his brow in confusion as he narrows his gaze on Jared. “Should I know you? You act too familiar with me, like I should know you.”

“We don't, but I did save you the slight shame of kicking the ass of a weak-kneed pussy Alpha.”

Jensen sputters out a snort-laugh, arms folding over his middle as he flexes his biceps—what's left of them. “Connor...” He looks to Vince. “I suppose he was there, waiting for word of his 'pup's' arrival, since that is all he seems to care for.”

“Jen...don't be nasty.” Vince scratches at his brow, combing back his hair. “We may know details, but we don't know what really happened. I'm not trying to side with the Alpha, but there's more than one side to a story. Even though, right now, it doesn't look favorable for Connor. What I do know is how in love those two are and I'm liable to think Connor had caved because the grief of what could've been was too much.”

Jensen closes his eyes, shifting his legs as he feels Jared's hands soothing over his bare skin. “Please don't make excuses for him.” He flutters his eyes open. “Don't belittle the treatment of an Alpha Bearer when the Alpha knew all along what he had done was wrong. Not only had he not trusted in me, but his own Bearer, and showed how much he wanted the 'pup' and not Terza. Yes, it was a bad decision not to go right for C-section, but...” Jensen heaves a huge sigh. “—there's so very little we Bearers retain for ourselves that is ours alone. Giving over control, even to those we trust, is never easy for us to do as simply as it looks. I would've forgiven the new mate had Connor been honest and upfront, not hiding the poor thing like she's his dirty little secret. Somehow, they—his old pack—got into his head, again, and soured the trust and faith we took so long to build—both Terza and I.”

“Old pack trappings are hard to break, Jensen.” Vince supplies with some understanding of what Jensen had just told him.

Jensen clenches his jaw, eyes averting. “Yeah, well...I wouldn't really know that, so I must defer to those who have the experience.”

“Oh, Jensen...” Vince goes to touch the hand again, but Jensen pulls away, settling on the stack of pillows. “I didn't mean...”

“No, no...” Jensen is messing with the blankets covering his legs. “It's fine, I get it. I believe in people too much. I, uh...trust when I should be wary. I have faith, when all I should feel is that everyones' motives are selfish and singular.”

Vince drops his head, chin to chest. This sounds like a Ferae, just how Moira takes everything he says so literally and turns right around and punches him in the gut with her sharp words. He looks to the side and back to where Jared is sitting, thinking that he would've heard a bellow or two out of his mouth in support of Jensen. Nothing. “Tha's not what I said. Not even what I meant.”

Jensen cranes his head back then twists to look at Vince. “Do you want me to be more like my father Alpha?”

“No...god, no.” Vince places a hand on Jensen's arm laying by his side.

“I keep telling you, but I suppose I should stop at some point.” Jensen twists back to stare down at his own body. He seems to be adjusting himself to slide over toward Jared a bit more. “I try to import to all of you how detrimental it is to this pack to lose your Alpha Bearers, but...” He throws his hands up in the air like he gives in, throws in the towel. “You all want to turn your back and agree that the Alpha is always in the right. I fight tooth and nail to save my brothers and sisters—yet, still...I am found wrong and lacking.” Jensen lays his head on the pillowcase, staring up at the ceiling tiles, counting them in his head. “I can only do so much before I can't do a thing more. But, hey...” He shakes his head and averts to stare down at the side that Jared sits on. “I'll stop whining and bitching for something you feel is more important.”

“I've angered you. I'm sorry, my friend.” Vince slides down to take Jensen's hand; it sits limp in his grasp. “I'm still a new doctor here, not used to watching what comes out of my Alpha mouth. I didn't mean to lessen the severity of your status' plight nor make you feel like you haven't done enough.” He tugs hard on the hand to get Jensen to look at him, when he finally does, he gives him a tiny grin. “I'd say to you to open you heart and be compassionate to Connor, when that is exactly what you've been doing. If it weren't for you, and the Bearers you have saved—helping those still living—the balance of your pack would cease to exist.”

“It happens even now as Bearer numbers dwindle and more Alphas are born.” Jensen softens his tone like he's finally willing to succumb to being tired. 

Jared slides up further, once he had put the legs back down on the bed. He stands to raise the railing, then hangs over the edge to fix the hospital gown to cover more skin and rub over some of the flesh he can see. Jared marvels at how much skin is covered in dottings of pale freckles. He lets his eyes trail up the body, then combs back the unruly locks of blond behind an ear. Jensen starts to blink slow, like he's starting to feel sleep and exhaustion. “I'm not sure the Betas and Omegas can control the Alphas without Bearers there to assuage their volcanic natures.”

“Less and less are born, the more pack that breed outside the Ferae.” Vince adds with the nod of his head. He cannot disagree with Jensen.

Jensen softly chuckles, shaking his head. “It is not our fault—as you can see with Connor and his old pack. It is easier to mate with an Omega to produce offspring.” He starts shifting on the bed, like he feels old and weary.

Vince sets Jensen's hand and arm down, then stands to head to the bedside table and pick up the chart and clipboard.

Jared holds open the covers to allow Jensen the ability to simply move down on the mattress and tuck under the blankets. He heads to the foot of the stretcher to put the ankles and feet back on the pile of pillows. He fixes the tubing and wires, then recovers the body with the sheets. Jared soothes the back of his hand over the flushed cheek. “...think you'll be hungry when you wake next?”

Jensen shuts his eyes, quietly nodding his head.

Vince motion with his head for Jared to follow him to the doorway. As Vince walks behind the privacy curtain, Jared lowers his head to nudge against Jensen's face. “I'm not going anywhere, you hear? I'll be back.” He brushes over the hair, pecking a soft kiss to skin; he hears a slight catch of breath like Jensen hadn't expected him to talk to him directly. Jared reluctantly follows to reach Vince who has to be at the door by now. “I'm gonna watch him.” He twists his wrist over to look at the time. “whoa...time has surely flown by.”

“Are you stayin' here with him, Jay?”

“I don't know.” Jared furrows his brow with deep concern for his own well-being. He doesn't quite know how to explain this, so he'll just be honest. “I can't leave him. Even standing here with you, only a few feet away—-I ache. I wanna be closer to him.”

“God damn...” Vince crosses his arms and narrows his eyes on Jared. His brother Alpha certainly does look on the brink of being ill. “...this could really be 'it', for you, huh?”

“It just might.” Jared smirks from one side of his mouth, smoothing down his chest.

“...christ...I really put my foot in my mouth with Jensen, didn't I?”

“No...well, yeah, you did.” Jared chuckles softly, shaking his head. “It's not a good time to tell him to look at the issue from Connor's side. You didn't see how much the betrayal rocked him. It hit Jensen harder than I even think he thought it would.”

“He's right, about everything.” Vince throws hands up in exasperation. “I'm trying to reconcile why Connor went behind Jensen and Terza's backs when it's obvious they all worked so damn hard to gain trust between them.”

“I'm not sure Connor knows. Sometimes Alphas just do what a father Alpha, or a Lead Alpha says and won't dare to ask too many questions why.”

Vince juts out his index finger, poking near Jared's chest. “Somewhere out there, there's an innocent Omega that's been wronged, as well—we can't forget that. But, it'll be interesting to see how Terza feels after the dust settles. If he'll even let Connor back in.”

“He's allowed. I don't think no one would fault him.”

“You don't know Terza. I was privy to watching not only their courtship, but the eventual mating that took place. He adores Connor, would forgive him anything. But they may have been too much too far. Carrying right out of the Gallantry. I think Connor knew that as well.”

“He needs to remember that every time he looks at his mate and 'pup'—the ones he thought wouldn't make it.”

“Did you still want to come with me to the Gridiron?” Vince playfully shoves at Jared to make him smile. “Or do I even need to ask?”

“No, I won't be leaving with you.” Jared gives a nod to Vince knowing him too well. “I don't want him alone here. He'd probably get up in the middle of the night and bail.”

“hehehe...he would, but I suppose if you were to stay, he'd be less inclined to leave AMA.”

“Tha's what I thought, too. Another reason why I don't wanna leave him.”

“You're actually gonna make me go back home and explain to Moira where you are? Why you might not be back for a little while?”

“Like she'd miss me.”

“She will wonder and I'll cave and have to tell her—like you know I do.” Vince clears his throat. “I'll be back to see you, then head off to the Gridiron, so...want me to bring you anything special?”

“Change of clothes. And maybe some cloths for Jensen. I don't know what they did with the ones he had on when he was brought here.”

“Probably tied to his bed in a plastic bag. Check the room, could be stashed somewhere in a closet or pantry.”

“He still needs cleaner clothes.”

“How the hell are you gonna get him to the village?”

“Can't tell you. Still trying to figure that shit out.”

“I'll be here later in the morning, doing my usual rounds, so my car will be available for you.”

“Good. Thanks, but I might just slip on over for a rental. I'll even attempt to start convincing him to cut the trip short.”

“eh, good luck with that.” Vince using his backside to push open the door. “I'll see you tonight.”

“Bye, Vin.” Jared looks around briefly, then watches the paneling settle back to close on its own. He walks over to pull the privacy curtain around the room, wandering over to the far corner of the space to bring a recliner chair to the side of the stretcher, in replacement of the straight-back chair. He pours out a cool glass of water, then scoops out some ice chips. He walks to the railings, giving Jensen a slight shake. “...hey, c'mon. Let's get you drinking something.”

Jensen grumbles, but moves only his head. He opens his lids to half-slits, watching the spoon of ice come toward his mouth. He drops his jaw, taking the slurp of melting chips. He swishes the liquid around, liking this instead of straight water. A few more scoops come his way and he's chomping and drinking the liquefying ice. “Least you can do is tell me your name.”

“Jared. Jared Padalecki.”

 

** ==&&==&&==&&== **   
** TBC... **


	4. Chapter 4

Jensen nods his head. "...m'sure you know all you've wanted to know about me."

Jared can tell the rolling of the eyeballs under the thin pale lids. He's also admiring those long curly lashes and how they sweep down over the freckled cheeks. "—nope. Don't know a thing 'bout you." He teases with a wink when one eye opens in doubt; he picks up the cup and straw. "Sip."

"I just had a ton of ice." Jensen opens both lids.

"—an' this'll wash it all down." Jared is pushing the straw's tip toward the pursing lips.

Jensen chuckles, because it had been a ridiculous comment. "eh, yeah...okay." He takes a sip through the straw, surprisingly more thirsty than he had thought. "mmm..." He plops his head backward on the plushness of the pillows. "Not too much..." His hand his chopping Jared's arm away. "I'll need to pee soon."

"Tell me when, I'll help." Jared is very blasé about this task, not considering what he'll be seeing for the first time.

"Well, for now, it'll have to be a bedpan, since I can't walk."

"I could carry you to the toilet."

Jensen holds up his IV hand, then points to the other machines he's permanently hooked to until he's "stable". "It won't be only me you'll be bringing along." He bows his head a bit, playing at the folds of the blankets covering him. He isn't sure the Alpha has heard exactly what Alpha Bearers look like in the genital area. Jensen isn't exactly demure or ashamed of what Jared will see, but he's not going to invite the opportunity.

"ahh, duly noted. Uhm...I could get a catheter put in for you or see if they don't need you hooked to all this stuff, since you are, technically, all better." Jared pours more water out, turning the pitcher spout closed.

"I lied. I'm not."

Jared goes still, not expecting Jensen to be so achingly honest with him. "It's okay." He puts hand on Jensen's shoulder. "I think those who know you wouldn't call it lying as much as saving face." He lets his hand trail along the shoulder to scrape over niche from shoulder to neck, then gradually caressing over the flushed cheek. He smiles a little when he notices how Jensen seems to lean toward his hand like he's unable to resist.

Jensen flips his head over to look up at Jared. "How do you know Dr. Genaro?"

"I'm an Alpha from his old pack. You could say we're like brothers."

Jensen gives out a half-smile. "That's good. You two still close?"

"Yes. Despite everyone telling us different. He, the Doctor, and me, the, uh...Political Campaign Manager." Jared notices how this word makes Jensen frown and shake his head.

"For packs?"

"My career?"

"Yes."

"About half and half."

"So you live in the city?"

"Yeah."

"Why are you out here? Way in the heart of nowhere?"

"Vince and I have started a tradition that even though we've moved on, have gotten separate lives, that we'd spend one month out of the year—two weeks where I live downtown and 2 weeks where he lives, uhm...here. Last year...a family emergency cut my time short. I'm attempting to make it up to him now."

Jensen feels something stir in him at the way the Alpha talks about this new tradition or routine that has been started. "How long?" He's not asking for his own benefit, but he is curious.

"3 weeks."

"wow...you must really feel guilty."

"I, uh...do confess, I dread coming out here." Jared bows his head, averting his gaze.

"I don't blame you." Jensen unconsciously reaches out to place a hand on Jared's arm. "There's isn't much here to replace what you find in the city."

"It's better this time." Jared still doesn't lift his eyes. He takes his other hand to cover Jensen's hand, then slides along the dainty wrist, cupping the shape; his thumb rubs over the pale skin, able to feel a steady pulse from underneath. "Ever since Vince's been allowed into your facilities, he's been dying to show me what he does with that hard-earned doctor degree." He finally raises his gaze and his eyebrows as well, staring into wide green eyes. "Not to mention, this area has been built-up since I was here last."

Jensen slowly nodded his head, unable to pull his hand back, but not truly abhorrent of the touch or the subtle soothing of the soft thumbpad; it's actually quiet calming. "Yeah, the different packs have moved closer. Innocents still live far away, but..." He twists his head away to look straight ahead, his eyes closing in silent misery, like he absorbs the pain simply by mentioning the tragedy. "...sometimes that's a blessing."

"Was it quick and painless?" Jared shifts his eyes to look at a small spot he can sit down on, near Jensen's hip, on the stretcher. He watches as the body readjust to move over slightly, giving him a bit more room. He hitches up his left hip and takes a seat, keeping Jensen's hand in his grasp, placing the hand on his bent knee.

Jensen knows what Jared is asking about. He shifts around on the pillow to look at the Alpha with a tilt to his head. "I would've hoped so, for their sakes." He clears his throat. "I need to talk to the Alpha, get the real story. We've had some hunter sightings—just want to make sure it's not a killing spree. Hopefully, only a one time occurrence."

Jared can see Jensen is fidgeting. "Is it—?" He starts to move like he's about to stand, but before he moves another inch he glances at Jensen. "Do you feel like you need to go?"

"...uhm..." Jensen squirms about a bit to double-check and sure enough... "The urge is there, but not desperate to go—no." He darts his eyes to Jared's gaze, wondering if the Alpha is going to do that whole offering to help him again or call the nurse to come do her job.

Jared gets off the stretcher, in search of a bedpan. "I think—ah! here it is..." He's in the bedside table, opening the lower cabinet doors. He grabs the bedpan and removes the plastic protective wrapping that shows it's brand-spanking new, then sets it down on the stretcher. he lowers the railing to get a unobstructed reach toward Jensen. "Lets get you ready and seated on this thing." Jared can tell from the contours of the shape that he'll have the ability to fit the ass cheeks into grooves and to somehow center the bottom perfectly over the large opening. "—then you can see if you can pee or...wait until the urge strikes again, if you have to wait."

Jensen goes quiet, a bit tense by having a complete stranger tend to him as he needed to urinate. Jared makes a big show of pulling down the pile of blanket and sheets to the bottom of the mattress; Jensen can't help the way his legs bow and pull upward to untuck further. Alpha Bearers had both sexual organs, both can be used for sexual intercourse and both could ejaculate secretions, but for male Bearers the only organ they could urinate out of was the penis, just like every other male pack status. Their vaginas were mainly birth canals, not meant to be used for waste purposes. Jensen is stunned by how easily he feels like trusting the Alpha the minute he touches the hem of the hospital gown at the point of mid-thigh; he's never allowed a Ferae Alpha the privilege of seeing his private parts, but for Jared, it seems like it's old hat. 

Jared raises the hemline, which Jensen takes over with both hands. Without even looking up into those curious green eyes, Jared tucks fingers under the elastic band of the tight boxer briefs and tugs them down to the knees. He moves to pick up the hard plastic bedpan, getting Jensen to lift his bottom off the bed, Jared slips it under so he can drop down onto the indents on the outer rim. Jared can't help but notice Jensen's tries to hold his legs together to hide his groin area but it's more about decorum and less about not peeing all over himself; Jared springs those thighs open so they settle on either side of the bedpan's shape, allowing the flaccid cock to dangle between the legs. Jared sees how the shaft flinches from such a light touch; he gives a final caress to the left thigh, then pulls the gown out of Jensen's grip to cover the genital area, adding the blankets as well.

"—thanks." Jensen mumbles out, closing his eyes as he'll now try and concentrate on forcing himself to pee while laying down, which he's never done before.

Jared pats the hand that seems to grip the blanket material tight, like Jensen had been ashamed of being so needy. Jared feels like reassuring Jensen that it's all right; he soothes the side of the blushing cheek as the tri-colored blond head turns away. He lets his fingers comb through the soft strands, then the head twists back to chase his hand. Jared decides not to let Jensen's left hand go, so he pulls the recliner to the very edge of the stretcher; he'll wait with Jensen in silence. After a few minutes, there's the sound of a few dribbles hitting the plastic, then a full stream of urine flows to fill up the inside. Jensen looks to be a little in pain or blocked by something. "—you okay?"

"mmm...feels like there's more." Jensen coughs gently, then turns his head away again. "I can't—it's tougher to go laying here...body's not used to it." He's shifting his legs up and down to just jostle himself into being less tense.

"Here, lemme..." Jared doesn't know where the thought had come from, but he pulls back the blanket, lifting up the gown fabric again, exposing the stomach past the belly button.

"...hey!" Jensen is startled by the swift freedom with his person.

"Trust me." Jared blew on his palms and starting rubbing them together really fast. "Just gonna push in your bladder—like a massage or something."

Jensen furrows his brow in curiosity. "Think that'll work?"

"Can't hurt to try." Jared is just now noticing how nervous and tense Jensen looks. "hey, hey...just relax, huh?" He cups the roundness of the belly, shaking the body from side to side. "If worse comes to worst, and you piss the bed or all over me..." He likes that he made Jensen chuckle before he bends his arms and curls them over his face. 

"oh, god, this is embarrassing."

"Well, hurry, 'cuz this looks even worse with me standing over your deliciously gorgeous half-naked body."

Jensen chuckles again, feeling heat rush up his face, then he senses Jared's large hands palpating his pelvis and bladder area, and he starts another full stream of urine. It kind of burns at the end because his body is cleansing of unhealthy toxins. "oh, man...stop, stop..." He tries to snatch Jared's wrists but he's not quick enough. "...now it's tickling." He lets out a light giggle.

Jared startles a little because he had thought Jensen couldn't look more beautiful, and then he giggles like a little boy and lets out this tiny heartfelt smile. That may have been the minute Jared lost his heart. "You gonna be all right, 'cuz I'm done?"

"Wha-?" Jensen uncrosses his arm only enough to peek. "What do you mean?"

"Want to sit up and shake your dick of dribble?" Jared sticks his tongue into his cheek, waiting for Jensen to react.

"oh, jesus..." Jensen covers his entire face with his arms again.

Jared pets the stomach, pulling the gown hem down over the belly. "Don't worry. Stay there. I'll go get a wet cloth. They probably want to know how much is inside there, huh?"

"mmm...probably." Jensen lifts one arm to watch as Jared returns with a moist cloth that smells like bacterial soap.

"Lift." Jared pulls the bedpan out and sets it aside on the chair nearby. "Roll to your right." Once Jensen displays his backside to Jared, he wipes over the bare skin and down the backs of the thighs. "Just reaching the splash areas. All right...roll back." Once Jensen does, Jared tucks his hand between the inner thighs to wash and wipe over the scrotal sac to then encapsulate the whole shaft in the cloth. Jared tries not to tug or stroke; he only wipes to clean. He discards the cloth to bring the boxer briefs back up and once they hide away the genital area, he drops the gown back into position and draws the covers up to mid-chest.

Jensen grabs for both of Jared's hands. 

"What?" Jared smiles from one side of his lips.

"...you're behaving for me. Why?" Jensen lifts a lone eyebrow in genuine curiosity.

Jared shrugs, not truly understanding why either. "Don't know. Don't wanna know." He picks up the wet cloth and bedpan, then travels to the bathroom to find a measuring cylinder on the shelf. He actually remembers the output number to tell the nurse, then flushes the waste down the toilet bowl. Jared throughly washes his hands with soap and hot water, then he dries, stepping out.

Jensen is turned away in the opposite direction on the stretcher, like he still feels ashamed by what Jared had seen. He feels raw and vulnerable, like Jared had too much advantage over him at every turn and Jensen wasn't able to breathe with relief or gain some type of control.

"You hungry at all?" Jared simply moves to beside and fixes the blankets.

"No. I might be soon, though." - came the mumbled words against a pillowcase.

"Cool." Jared sits down in the recliner, kicking his feet up to tilt back. "Mind if I catch some 'Z-s'? Feels like my erratic sleeping habits are catching up with me." He yawns to prove his point.

"nah, nah..." Jensen feels a bit of his tension drift away. "Go ahead. I'm feeling a bit sleepy myself. I might join you soon."

"Good. You need to rest more; the deeper the sleep, the better." Jared yawns again, turning his head away. "Night, Jensen."

Jensen startles when he hears his name called. The low-timbered voice keeps sending tingles down his spine. Thank god he's been able to curb those subtle urges that plague him whenever he's around an Alpha that piques his interest. This one is no exception, but...he knows he can't act on anything he feels, even if he reacts favorably to a nice Alpha. But he doesn't want "nice" or "sweet", or even "gentle and tender"—though that whole moment with the bedpan nearly had given Jensen hot flashes. The idea of those long fingers inside of him, working him to orgasm. The tiny jolt of his hips told Jensen he truly needed some alone-time soon, because the life of a celibate Alpha Bearer can be filled with dirty perversions on how to get himself off, all on his own. 

Twenty-seven years, and still no Alpha equal to or better than him who can protect him and their 'pups'. Jensen slowly rolls to look over his shoulder toward the slumbering Alpha. He hadn't known Dr. Genaro for long, but every time they had met, Jensen grew to like him more. Vince had mated with a Ferae, but she rarely came back to the fold of the pack. Jensen couldn't blame her. If he wasn't of royal blood, he would've been long gone, taking some random Alpha as his mate and living outside the compound.

Gradually, Jensen rolls onto his back, head still twisted to watch Jared sleeping. He tucks himself further under the layers of covers, pulling the hems to his chin. Jensen feels the vibrations of his lower body stirring. The deeper Jared sleeps, the more intense Jensen can feel that radiating heat. It makes him shiver down to his bones. Strange how he can't seem to shake off the sensations this Alpha has caused him to feel. Granted they fluctuate, but each time a new wave churns within, he senses the intense want and need to his core. Jensen doesn't need this. Doesn't need a "fling" with an outsider. No matter how much his body desires this Alpha...this Jared Padalecki. Jensen can't give in. No way, no how.

Thankfully, a young nurse wanders in with a small dinner menu. She puts in every one of Jensen's requests, then she tells him that she can fill out another one for his "mate". Jensen is set to correct her mistake, but he doesn't want her to take away Jared's right to eat, not since he's been helping for this long. Jensen locates the TV remote, then spends the next hour and a half dozing off and on as he flips through all the satellite channels. He curls on his right side again, preferring to lay not-facing Jared, but able to focus on the TV screen. It's in one of those hazy, incoherent moments that Jensen lightly naps.

...He feels the dip of the mattress behind him, the intense warmth at his back. He doesn't know why he isn't outraged, smacking hands away or pulling back to yell and scream. His backside pushes into the groin as he shifts his bandaged feet to tuck inward with the other feet and ankles. It's a lovely sweet moment as he feels the face bury in his neck, lips kiss and lightly nibble along his exposed skin. He lets out a strangled "yes", then an arm tucks under his head, the other goes exploring between their bodies to untie the back of the hospital gown. The material is quickly discarded and hands are frantically tugging down his briefs.

"oh, shit—yeah, yeah...shhhiiittt, yeah." The minute his cock feels cool fresh air, it springs erect from his body. A hand dives over his ass, slides between his thighs to lift the top leg at an angle. He feels the cool air pelting his canal; he's swollen enough to accept the cock and knot as he's been dripping wet all during this moment. The cocktip pokes around a bit until a hand is sent down to guide the shaft in and, once it's poised at the gape, the length slip-slides in, giving Jensen an initial shock of pain.

The thrust stops, barely having broken through the hymen. "You're a virgin?"

"yeah..." He chokes out. "m'sor—" He was about to apologize but he's silenced with a reach-around kiss, head being forced backward against a broad shoulder. "oh, god..." The cock pounds hard into him in one flourish, his cry of agony is swallowed by the parting mouth. 

There's a hand cupping the base of his throat, like a choke-hold, as they draw back from one another, heavily breathing in one another's face. A huge hand grips his left biceps for traction as the hips piston into his body.

"oh, god...tha's so hot—so fuckin' tight. I'll go slow...won't hurt you."

"It's okay...my body's made to take every bit of you." The minute he says those words, he's pushed down to his stomach, arms pinned to the bed and the pelvis relentlessly slams into him until finally he's so wet with slick that with one hard thrust the thick cock and swollen knot are deeply embedded inside his canal...and he comes with a loud wail...

...and then Jensen practically freaks in reality, slapping Jared's hand away like he's been groping his ass and hadn't simply shaken him to wake up because their food trays had arrived. 

Jared has only brought over Jensen's bedside table, uncovering the tray and then silently shifts back to sit on the recliner, silently picking at his own food.

Jensen's hand stings so he knows he hit Jared pretty hard. "...m'sorry, Jared. I was, uh..." He places the hand to his head. "...deeply into a dream an' I just..."

Jared smiles, swishing the air with his hand to forget the slap. "Don't worry. Not like it's the first time my hand's been slapped away." He is curious, though, because those noises Jensen had made under his throat were damn-near sinful; he wondered exactly what the Bearer could be dreaming about that made him wiggle under covers.

Jensen gives out a pained smile, because he's not violent on his own when it's just the normal world. He knows his nature is to be violent but he curbs it by bringing in his Beta and Omega characteristics. He lets out a weak laugh as he says, "Do I even dare ask for details?"

"You can ask, but I won't tell 'em. That feels like another life these days." Jared gestures with his head. "Go on and eat. I wanna see a good portion of that tray empty."

Jensen picks up his fork. "This is too much.” He glances down at his four course meal. "I don't even eat this much on my own."

"You will tonight." Jared stands again, sitting on the side of the bed, bumping against Jensen's side with his right hip. He cuts the small sliver of meat into small bites, stirring the vegetables and mashed potatoes in their separate slots. He places the pudding cup out of Jensen's reach. “Dessert will be your reward for emptying your plate. Now eat...please." He hates how it sounds like his tone is begging, but he truly means to see that Jensen eats something of substance. "You may be 'fit', but you're too thin." Jared shakes his head, not sure he likes how tiny Jensen looks against the plush mattress of this mother-to-be bed. "I don't know how you expect to kick that Alpha's ass, if you're at this pathetic of a fighting weight."

"I'm not 'thin'. I have a smaller frame and my muscles sit differently on my body. And that Alpha?" Jensen raises his eyebrows, not able to contain himself on being able to pick apart this next Alpha that will enter the Gallantry ring with him. He bites back with severity toward all Alphas, even Jared. "...he's already toast!"

"Why do you fight them if you know you're already going to win?"

"Because...I can."

"Ahhh, oh-kay. You're gonna be that way."

"Look..." Jensen places his hands down on the mattress to pull himself upright. "You can leave an ANY time. I didn't ask you to babysit me."

"Ah-ha!" Jared spins on Jensen, pointing an index finger at him hard, and in his face. "You finally acknowledge you're acting childish!"

Jensen grows furious at the finger in his face. "Am not!"

"Are too!!"

Jensen is so annoyed that he doesn't even realize that what he does next is pick up his fork again to eat, all the while ignoring Jared who is too close beside him and refocuses his attention back onto the widescreen TV bolted into the corner of his room, hanging from the ceiling.

Jared chuckles softly as he watches Jensen from the side of his eyes. It's kind of adorable that as Jensen thinks he's slighting Jared, he's actually eating everything on his plate. And just like he promised, when there was a few bites of each serving left, Jared hands over the pudding, and the spoon he took too. Jensen had never even noticed that his spoon had vanished. 

Jensen slumps a little because Jared has been nothing but sweet to him, despite what a b-i-t-c-h he's been. He opens his mouth to speak, but Jared had gotten off the mattress, taking their trays with him.

"I'll be right back." Jared states the words over his shoulder, then walks around the thick privacy curtain and right out the door.

Five minutes turn into ten, then fifteen, until nearly a half-hour has disappeared and Jensen believes he has managed to chase an Alpha away. Jensen is pretty sure Jared may have left him for good and Jensen will not blame him. The door opens and a metal rolling tray comes around the curtain, and, to Jensen's utter shock, it's being pushed by Jared. Seeing that face makes Jensen want to smile big as his heart flutters, but instead he sits upright because this looks important, whatever Jared has brought for him.

"What's this?" Jensen tilts his head to glance in curiosity over everything he can see.

"Changing your bandages." Jared braces hands on the sides of the push-cart. "There were about 7-10 young nurses and CNAs who fell over each other to clean and re-dress the Alamani's feet." He moves aside a portion of a sheet to pull out a plastic basin, balancing it between both hands, he squats down on the floor in front of Jensen. "I spared you the Messiah-like bullshit."

"Thanks." Jensen eyes Jared placing the plastic basin of temperate water on the floor. "What is that for? My feet?"

"That...is where the worshiping of you may have been a bit too much." Jared gives off the image of a minion washing off Jesus' feet. "Just a soak in Epsom Salt, I think. I'm not required to wash you, but I'll pat them dry once you give them a good bath."

"Thanks...again." Jensen doesn't want to sound redundant, but he doesn't know what else to say.

"Don't mention it." Jared stands back upright, moving to the bottom part of the bed, removes the blankets over Jensen's lower limbs and exposes the feet. He pulls off the medical scissors from the array of items on the top of the push-cart and cuts through the gauze. He starts to unwind the bandages, making sure to be very careful as some of the open skin sticks to the padding. Once the feet are uncovered, Jared inspects them with a close eye. The blisters are red and raw, and there are scrapes on the ankles and heels from where the slippers chaffed the flesh. He swings Jensen around by grabbing a calf in each hand. He dangles the limbs off the side of the bed, then pushes the basin under the feet. "They said to go slow, that there's an initial sting of pain since it's open wounds." Jared drops to one knee and then the second. "It'll taper off, gradually."

"Eh, we'll see." Jensen leans over a little, testing just a toe in the cloudy liquid. He likes the feel but doesn't want to try both feet, so he dips one in, quickly snatching it back. "God! fuckme! That smarts!"

"here, here..." From his crouched position, Jared goes over to the cart to pull off a dry cloth. He drenches it in the water, getting Jensen to dangle his feet over the basin and then he squeezes the water out of the cloth over the tops. Jensen squirms a little, but after a while, he settles down; he's able to put both feet in and soak properly. "Yeah, there you go." Jared isn't even aware he soothes over the back of Jensen's calves, from knee to ankle. "They said about 5 or 10 minutes, or until you felt the water go cold. Whichever came first."

Jensen is only able to last six-to-seven minutes straight just because, even though the soak had felt good, he doesn't want Jared to grow bored and become pissed. Shockingly, Jared never becomes either, but Jensen takes his feet out anyway. Jared is there with a towel to pat his skin down and then lift the legs again to place them on the stack of pillows. Jared places the towel under the feet, just in case one of the sores wants to bleed or ooze out puss.

"Gonna let them air dry, for now. I'll be right back." Jared puts a hand on the mattress to bend down and pick up the basin. He places a hand on the bed for traction, and Jensen was tempted to cover the hand nearby, but he resists the urge. Jared was gone in a split second of time, then back, after dumping the dirty water out. Jared takes out the bacterial cream to rub over each wound, then sprays the whole foot with an invisible sealant; he doesn't forget to cover the ankle sores. He lets everything dry so the seal is hardened and then he reaches for the rolls of gauze for each foot, wrapping them while still sitting on the end of the bed with Jensen's feet in his lap.

Jensen's been trying to get distracted by the TV, but it's tough. Jared is so concentrated on his task that it warms Jensen's heart. In fact, it warms up his legs first, letting the sensation course up the thighs to groin and he feels a stirring of arousal. His cock goes semi-hard and his inner walls influx, his canal wanting to open, to take a knot. he allows himself to let out a tiny wail, rolling his head on the pillow, just to show Jared that he feels something for his actions. When Jared's done bandaging, he works his hands up the back of the calves, smoothing along the fronts to the knees. Then he can't stop at the knees, he has to palm the meatier portion of the thighs, giving a deep-tissue massage; Jensen exhales on another wail, but it's low and muffled. 

Jared slides around to the backs of the thighs, pulling apart the legs to come up the middle, one leg on either side of Jared's body. He bends low to kiss from knee to inner thigh on the right to then just kissing the thigh on the left. Jared's hands continue to trace up the waist, kneading over the flat belly and abdominals, down to the bony pelvis. Jensen reacts how he should, writhing his body and rolling his hips as Jared slides along the sides of his frame, coming up to lay chest to chest. Jared can't help rubbing his face over Jensen's gown, around the upper torso. He tries to control his breathing as his heart races; it kills him that Jensen doesn't touch him or even reciprocate the intensity of feelings. He knows the Bearer is feeling something, but what...he doesn't know. And a hospital room is no place to find out. Pressing his forehead into the warm body, Jared attempts to gather his senses, focus and pulls himself to sit away from Jensen. They both are in need of some long hours of sleep.

But as Jared has an elbow on the bed to balance himself, rising and climbing off Jensen, a hand grabs the back of his shirt by the scruff and hauls him upward, so now Jared's laying on his back, chest on chest directly under Jensen. The hand curling around the back of Jared's head slides down to cling to the nape as the other hand cups the strong jaw—Jared feels the momentary loss of power. It's a heady rush to his senses, his next breath hitching because he's feeling Jensen finally touching him, responding to him. And then the hand at his face slides up to cup the side of Jared's neck, then takes hold of his throat, keeping head steady as Jensen's face hovers over his, nostrils flaring and lips parting to tempt.

Jared takes a hard swallow, his Adam's apple working as Jensen's thumb caresses. Jared has never been dominated before, but he had never felt attracted to an Alpha. The Alpha Bearers are something to be treasured and fully in awe of. But Jared has an idea that each one is different as to their own personalities and upbringings inside their packs. Jared secretly admires Jensen for what he has overcome to the man he is now, but...at some point, he knows Jensen will find a mate, and then what? If his father Alpha suddenly takes notice, Jared will be utterly amazed and speechless. He doubts a viable mate will change such a stubborn, sharp mind, if his son is any proof to how pig-headed an Ackles can be.

Jared knows what Jensen likes, and wants, and he knows what he can give Jensen. He deftly pulls each hand off him, then secures one arm around Jensen's body and flips them, pushes the flailing arms to the mattress, essentially pinning them beside Jensen's head. That sudden loss of control sends Jensen into panic mode, so he bucks and tries to shove Jared off him, all the while rubbing their lower bodies together to create friction enough to grow dual hard-ons.

"...lemme go."

"You don't even know what I'm gonna do."

"You're an Alpha. You're all alike. You'll never convince me otherwise."

Hazel eyes dart around to bore into green. "You keep thinkin' that way, you'll never find a mate."

"Maybe that's the way I like it."

"What? Sad and pathetically lonely?"

"No!" Jensen tightens his jaw, the bones look like they're working overtime. "Honor intact and a clear conscience. Can you say the same for yourself?"

Jared actually loves this, trading barbs with all this tension sexualized. He pins both wrists high on the mattress, taking one hand of his own to sculpt down Jensen's chest wall. “What I can say for myself is, I know how to give pleasure to another. I know how to make them come from my touch...my voice, alone."

"...how nice for you—lemme go and get the fuck off me!"

Jared lets his hand travel even further down where he touches the bare thigh as it quivers under his fingertips. "Look how I make you tremble...not even you are immune. Can't stop it once it starts." He traces up the other thigh, then cups the bulge in his palm. "God, see how hard I get you—tha's all for me."

Jensen breaths out of his nostrils, unable to work one wrist out of Jared's hold. "I've had better Alphas."

"Liar. It's not gonna work. I can smell the innocence on you a mile away. You've never been touched this intimately, keeping yourself pure and virginal for your huddled masses."

“No—staying away from asshole Alphas like you...a-a-a-and Connor, who only see purpose in a mate for one thing, keeping them barefoot and pregnant, while you prance around, planting your seeds in any hole you like, while your 'mate' plays house-mate an' Alpha goes off to 'play'..."

"Sure. The Alphas in your pack might be that way toward the lower statuses than them. So guess what? I'm not Ferae, Jensen, so I'm nothing like them."

"Don't deny that at your core tha's what you are. Forget all the window dressing and the paltry ways you attempt to disguise how Alpha you really are. Put you on their side of the wall, you're no different than them."

"If you don't want them, an' you don't want me, then what the hell do you want?"

"To be left alone! Get offa me! Now!" Jensen does one last hard buck and dislodges Jared, who rolls over, then slides away way too quickly, climbing off the bed to pick up the things he had brought out to help clean off Jensen's feet and pushes the cart out of the room. 

Jensen had demanded space, so he got it.

But he didn't realize how soon he'd feel the aches and pain, the instant sickness in his gut at how perfectly he had been played. He had never been given exactly what he asked for, then shown just how badly he needed it back. He was cold and agonizingly lonely. He could've sobbed in defeat, willing to beg for Jared's return if he hadn't felt a bit justified for everything that had been done to him over the years.

Jared hadn't been discouraged in the least. For all Jensen's squawking about Alphas being baser and using others for sex, the Bearer had forgotten he was an Alpha too. And a body like Jensen's didn't respond as an Alpha for only recreational purposes. No, Jensen was already looking for a mate and to mate with an Alpha—his mind said "Ferae", but his body kept interrupting him saying "Jared". Someone he knows to be completely wrong for him. Jared didn't think so. He may have old Alpha tendencies, and an old school sexist viewpoint on pack statuses, but Jared never felt this way before about any potential mate, where he was willing to do a total change of character and manner. For one person. Who only seemed to despise him the more he was around.

Jared quietly re-enters the room, finding Jensen turned away, body facing the right side of the stretcher, almost clinging to the railing, as he curls under the blankets. It sounds like soft sniffles, as if Jensen had been crying quietly to himself. Immediately, Jared feels awful for the way he had treated the Bearer before he left, the words he said. He had known he was better than that, but he knows his patience had been tried successfully. He hates leaving things between them so stressed and antagonistic. Jared slips out of his shoes, lifts the covers from the back, easing his frame down behind Jensen. He tucks an arm under the head, the other around the waist to pull their bodies flush. Jared knows this is the Omega-side to Jensen, the one he had known best. He kisses the nape, coming down the shoulder, then nuzzles the neck. He's lost in the dirty blond strands, feeling the soft touch reach back to caress over his face.

Jensen tentatively peers over a shoulder; his dream scenario is becoming all too real at the moment. Jared shifts as Jensen flips to his back. He blinks several times to look up at the massive chest looming above. He wants to touch and he did, up and down the ribcage, across the upper chest and then he leans in to kiss the bare skin; it's warm and soft on his lips. Then he kisses a trail to the neck, sliding his face along the jawline to skim lips over rough stubble, meeting the corner of the mouth.

Jared plants a hand to the bed on Jensen's left, then sweetly cups the chin, pecking small kisses on the lips. Jensen releases a long aching moan, giving himself over to Jared. As their foreheads merge, faces nudging, they kiss several more times—each one deeper, rougher, longer than the last. Jensen feels his body start to move, needing Jared closer. Jared tucks his legs between the spreading thighs and slides a knee up and down to stimulate.

"Do you need me?"

"—god, yes—please."

"mmm—tha's what I thought."

With one hand, Jared lifts the gown hem, then dives under the elastic waistband of the briefs to palm the shaft, but as his fingers slope down, he feels the wet, swollen folds of the birth canal. "fuuuuccck!...you're so ripe to take me." He nuzzles the face, his fingers pressing into the clitoris. He loves the sounds coming from under Jensen's throat. "—you're close, aren't you?" Jared breathes over Jensen's lips. He smiles as the head nods, pushing the groin up to meet his hand. Placing tiny pecks along face and neck, Jared slips his longest finger into the tight warmth of the canal and, as he slides in and out, his thumb rubs over the nub of the clit. Instantly, the thighs start to quake and hips begin to thrust frantically; Jensen pants as he catches his breath. Jared buries his face away in the neck as he matches the thrusts, and Jensen spasms under him. Choking on his cries as he lets the orgasms course through, Jared soothes his fingers over the folds, holding tight to Jensen. “ssshhh...I got you—let go...m'here...ssshhh."

Jensen clings like he's about to fall off the bed. He's never come before with someone else holding and helping him achieve release. He only wants to huddle into Jared, forget the world outside exists. He feels a little ashamed by how much he wants this, wants Jared, and how much he needs this moment of ecstasy. He had never come so much before from just one session, giving him multiple orgasms. Jensen can only fantasize what this would be if he had been filled by a cock and knot, how he would've come apart into tiny pieces, just like his dream.

Jared waits until he feels Jensen going a bit slack, then he removes himself to go into the bathroom, moistening a cloth. He exits back into the room, then steps to bedside, lifting the gown a bit more. He yanks on the elastic waistband. "On or off?"

"Off." Jensen mumbles, knowing there's no point to wearing underwear now.

Jared pulls them off as Jensen had worked his legs to bend to get out of the clothing, then he left his legs fanned out. Jared goes right to the task of cleaning him, not even being remotely sexual about his touches. Jensen is glad because he keeps moving in the aftermath of that intense release. Jared even wipes at the precome that had seeped out of his cocktip. He drops the gown material over the genitals, then covers Jensen with the blankets again. 

This time Jensen flips onto his left side, facing Jared. He removes the covers briefly to invite the Alpha in to lay with him until he falls asleep. Jared climbs on, getting onto his back, then securing his right arm around the Bearer, tucking him close to his chest. Jensen covers them in the blankets, huddling into Jared's chest as he drifts off to sleep. 

Jared glances down at the head on his body, fingers massaging the nape and into the scalp to comb through the blond strands. It isn't long before he drifts off into a light slumber along with Jensen.

==&&==&&==&&==

The next moment Jensen wakes, Jared is no longer in the bed. The television plays low and Jared is deeply asleep in the recliner. Jensen doesn't know where all those hours went, but he realizes that it's early enough to be next morning—early morning. He's no longer hooked to anything other than an IV, so, trying to be as quiet as possible, Jensen lowers the railing Jared must have raised to see how he'll do on his feet. His toes pup out of the gauze so he tests the whole foot: one is more sore than the other. With the IV pole riding beside him, Jensen limps on the tip of one foot, then steps on the whole sole of the other. It takes him a while, but he makes it to the bathroom. He pulls at the gown to expose his backside and he sits down on the toilet to relieve himself, finally, the way he's most comfortable.

Jared doesn't know what startles him, but as he yawns and stretches, he notices that the bed is empty. He pushes in the footrest of the recliner, scrambling up, throwing off the blanket and quick walks to the bathroom to knock. "You okay in there?!"

"Yeah!...could you please NOT be here..."- comes the muffled tone of annoyance from Jensen.

Jared nods his head, smiling. He knows Jensen probably needs to do more than just pee. “All right. I'm gonna get some coffee. Are you, like, deeply religious or...can you have things like caffeine and sugar?"

On the other side of the door, Jensen just rubs at his brow not certain what Jared's getting at. "I have my faiths, but...I don't think drinking coffee is a sin. If you can find me some hot tea, I'll, uh..." He doesn't know why he wants to tease here, but he stops himself. "—just milk and one sugar in the tea, please."

"Good. I'll be right back, Jen."

Jensen shivers a little from the sound of his shortened name. Good...he was finally alone and he could release his bowels like he had been needing to for a while.

==&&==&&==&&==

Jared makes certain he stays gone before he heads back to the room. Half his coffee is gone, but Jensen's tea is fresh—thankfully, one of the maternity nurses is an avid tea drinker. He walks the steaming mug into the room, looking at Jensen sitting in the center of the bed, just mesmerized by the crappy infomercials on-screen. Jensen sits more upright with his bandaged feet together and his knees fanned out. He keeps picking up the remote to flip to another channel, then plopping it back down to the middle of his legs as he seems to be doing weird yoga stretches for his back and legs.

Jared wheels over the bedside table, placing the mug down on the surface. "Some advantages to being your pack's savior. The nurse's own stash of teas—something Chai or with Ginseng. She thought you might like it. Oh, and you can keep the mug...or maybe you should sign it for her, leaving it on the counter for them to build an altar 'round it." He doesn't know why he bites with such sarcasm drenching his words. None of this is Jensen's fault.

Jensen rolls the table over so he can lean on the flat surface and blow on the tea. "I don't know what's worse...being loved for my royal blood or my spiritual work."

Jared plops down in the recliner seat, rocking backward to plant one foot on the floor and crosses an ankle over a knee; he eyes his coffee. “It's not real. None of it. It won't keep you company when alone, nor warm when you're cold. It's not even going to satisfy you the way an Alpha can—any Alpha, not just—”

“—you?” Jensen supplies as he blows away the steam rising from the mug.

“It's possible an'...I'm figuring you don't let ANY Alpha touch you intimately to get you off like you did for me.”

“That was a one time occurrence.” Jensen keeps his head bowed, chin to chest. “Can't happen again.”

“Yeah, okay.” Jared narrows his gaze on Jensen. “Do you know anything about attraction and arousals?”

“Yes.” Jensen briefly glances at Jared, but then he averts his head. “It's silly of you to ask that of me.”

“I don't mean for everyone else but you. I mean 'you', Jen.”

“ _Jensen_.” Jensen corrects with a sharp click of his tongue.

“I think I've earned the right to call you what I want, say even—'mate'.”

“Lots of pack have dalliances outside of mating. What we did doesn't make us 'mated'. Maybe you're the one needing to relearn about wolf sexuality.”

“And maybe you need an Alpha more than you realize. Not just to knot you and plant his seed like a proper mate, but...you need him in your daily life 'cuz, clearly, you can't even take care of yourself.” Jared pushes off the recliner to walk toward bedside.

“And you're just the Alpha who can prove to me how independent I am not?” Jensen uses the bedside table as a “wall” keeping them apart, but Jared swiftly snatches the shape to gently send it aside. Jared grabs for the back of Jensen's calves and yanks; Jensen tries to run and grab the railing, but it's down, so he's grappling the blankets and sheets for traction. “No! Alpha!...please!...” and just when Jensen thinks he has to struggle and fight off an aggressive Alpha, soft teeth take tiny nibbles out of an ass cheek and slide down his thigh to the back, turning into tiny kisses. Jensen rises to an elbow, frowning down in perplexity as Jared isn't trying to be violent or rough at all, but like a playful 'pup, or 'cub', with dirty- _dirty_ thoughts on his mind.

Jared peeks up at Jensen. “...damn, you actually thought that was me?” He places a hand to his chest in outrage, then slinks up the naked-but-for-only-wearing-a-hospital-gown body. Jared kisses Jensen, once and succinctly, still in shock, short but quick, then he pets the warm skin. “I'm not of your pack. M'not Ferae, so don't expect me to be something I'm never going to be for you.”

Jensen softly punches Jared's upper chest. “Don't try to charm me. Or guilt me...it's the only Alphas I've known.”

Jared nods his head. “I don't think you even want a Ferae Alpha, otherwise you'd let the one you want win a Gallantry bout and you'd be on to your happily ever after.” He touches the face, brushing the hair back behind an ear. “No...you're ready for a different sort of challenge—a different life, away from here.” He picks the hand up that was once on his chest. “I think it's time you lived for yourself, not just your pack and the ones who suck you out of having a life of your own.” Jared opens their hands, curling fingers around Jensen's so he can kiss the skin.

Jensen hasn't been able to look away from Jared's face or his lips; he likes what he hears too much, because it's been echoing in the selfish parts of him for years. “Why you?”

“mmm...why not me? You like me—well, your body does. And your subconscious thinks we're mates. My scent and heat don't turn you away. It's only when you've opened your eyes and see I'm not one of your precious Feraes that you deny me.”

“I'm not—I would consider other Alphas...”

“Eh, if they were worthy to lick the Alamani's boots. Or slippers, in your case.”

“You could enter the Gridiron, like all the others. Court me properly.”

Jared grumbles, shaking his head. “mmm, nah. I like you, but...I draw the line at you publicly humiliating me, if you should win against me. And I do not want to hurt you, taking your purity in front of hundreds of raging horny Ferae Alphas, wanting to know who the fuck I was, why I thought I could enter their sacred ring with their Bearer and take him from them—uh, no...thank you.”

Jensen keeps his head lowered. “You will never be acknowledged as my mate.”

“The only one I need the acknowledgement from...” Jared tugs Jensen into his chest. “...is you.” He tempts a kiss, then just skims their nosetips. “How many years do you have?”

“27.”

“—an' you think this one instance will erase nearly 30yrs of one way of thinking of you as no better than pigshit? Neglecting you? Denying you the rightful seat as second son to one of the High Alphas?”

“I have to try something.”

“Why? He, nor your other siblings, care. Obviously, or they would have been here for you, beside you...loving you as every family should.”

Jensen twists his head away. So many wasted years; Jared is finding ways to ease through his cracks forming deep into the very heart of his core. “Why do you care, Alpha? I am no one to you. You're not even here to live permanently. You will be gone in 3 weeks.”

“Maybe I've finally found something—someone—worthy of taking a second...and a third glance at. Don't take away my only chance, on my terms.”

“—on your terms? And how will I know if I've 'bested' you?”

“mmm...well, there's no 'besting'. No 'fighting'. No 'battling'. There could be naked wrestling and I—I'll let you pin me every other time—straddle me so you can ride me like a mechanical bronco.” Jared isn't prepared for the whole hand smooshing his face and then shoving him away. He grabs that forearm, sliding to the wrist and he twists the arm behind Jensen's back, but he hadn't known the Bearer had gained his strength back. Jensen snarls and rolls them to pin Jared down, straddling his back. “Yes! This is exactly what I was talkin' 'bout!”

Jensen dips low, fingers tugging the hair at the top of Jared's head to yank it backward. “You need to stop fillin' your head with fantasies that will never come true.” He's snarling low and deep, growling into Jared's face and an ear. “You may have been able to best me once, find me at my weakest and tantalize me with what you imagine I will crave and pine for, but...like you said, you are not Ferae, so you are not worthy of the Gridiron, which makes you even less worthy of being my mate.” He pushes Jared's face into the bed sheets. “You know how I feel about my own pack's Alphas...just imagine what I think of outsider pack Alphas, how they're even more weak and worthless.”

Jared brings over a pillow to rest his head. “ _blah-blah-blah-blah..._ ” He's able to free one arm so his hand can make a moving mouth with his four fingers and thumb. “So much talk and no fuckin' action. Maybe I shouldn't pursue you after all.” He shoves Jensen off him before Jensen can shove at him. “A mate shouldn't require this much work.” It's absurd how badly Jared wants Jensen right now, despite the animosity growing between them. And things had seemed to be going so damn well, giving Jared the idea they were growing closer.

“yeah, well...I believe it's not worth it if there isn't some hard-earned effort. I'm not some wilting tiny flower you can pluck the petals off of just to sniff the odor.

“Christ! Your metaphors need work. I'd hardly call you a 'flower'. More like a cactus or a, uh...no-ah! A Venus Flytrap!” Jared goes about turning both index fingers and thumbs into tiny pinchers that bite in the air, pinching anywhere over Jensen's body.

“No! Stop! No, no...Jared! Stop...please...” The pinches will turn into tickles and Jensen doesn't like being tickled, though he begins to laugh and snicker, avoiding Jared. Pretty soon they were both worn out, just laying there, side by side on the bed, trying to catch a breath. Jensen feels the silence turn awkward so he glances over at Jared and...it strikes him how much he wants this to be real. How much he wants to already be mated, to have had a 'pup' and this is he and his mated Alpha being the way they always are with one another. He knows this can only be this way with Jared. A Ferae Alpha would never sink this low as to “play wrestle” or even tickle his mated Alpha Bearer. “What are you vacationing from?”

Jared quickly sits up, moving to lean on the pillows at the head of the bed. “Do you know what a 'politician' is?” When he sees Jensen frown, he goes on, “It's almost like the layers of roles in the Royal Court. In the city, we have sections that need, say...a ruler or a 'boss'. I...well, I take these 'candidates' for the role of 'boss' and I, uhm...spin a tale to make him or her look better than their opponent.”

“There's a fight” a battle?” Jensen curls to his left side, almost tucking to the railing so he can see Jared's face the whole time they converse.

Jared chuckles deeply with the shake of his head. “No, but I wish there was sometimes. The people who dwell in the city get to do what's called 'voting'. They have a freewill to pick and choose who becomes their next 'boss'.”

“That sounds...fair, I guess.” Jensen is laying off the pillows, so he bends his left arm and rest his head down. “Is there a prize?”

“hehehe...no, not the way you would think. The candidate wins—kind of like when your royal position is overthrown or a new heir take his or her place.”

“So, it's like a 'seat' of importance?”

“Yes.”

“—and you...work for these Bosses? These _candy-dates_?”

“...hehehe...sure. You got it.” Jared gives Jensen a thumbs up.

“You like it?”

“I went to college for it. It's been my career going on 6 years. I better fuckin' like it.” Jared can tell that Jensen is trying to tally numbers in his mind, so he helps him out before he hurts his brain. “I'm 28, about to turn 29.”

Jensen's eyes go round. “I thought you were younger than me.”

“Nope.” Jared smiles at that thought and how it stuns Jensen to quiet. “Sorry. Just a big 'cub' at heart.”

Right away, Jensen feels relief that Jared was just a 'cub' Alpha, pluming his furcoat for show. He lets a smile leak out, feeling a hand on his thigh.

“Hey, Jensen...you okay?”

Jensen nods his head. “Yeah. I'm good.” He takes a deep breath. “Your work sounds—intriguing.”

“It's not. I just make my client look better than he truly is—like polishing a turd.”

“A what?” Jensen stutters with his next breath.

“A 'turd' is a piece of shit...poop.”

Jensen blinks rapidly, trying to wrap his head around “polishing” a piece of poop, and he breaks out in spurts of laughter, looking over at the Alpha joining in. “You talk funny.”

“Yea, well, you speak too well.” Jared grabs for Jensen's legs and places the over his right thigh so he can raise those bandaged feet. “No wonder people think you're their Almighty God.” He stares down at the pale bare skin and pets along the dark blond hairs mixed with red-golds.

“I am not their God.” Jensen blinks slow, and lets out a long sigh. “I'm just there when they need guidance, help them in finding a way.”

“Gimmie your hand.” Jared holds out his hand.

“No! Why?” Jensen hides both of his hands.

“Just give me one, Jen.” Jared rolls his eyes, heaving a sigh of exasperation. “I'm not gonna keep it.”

Tentatively, Jensen brings out one hand. Jared is too quick to take it, then positions their palms together where their hands curl about one another. “What is this?” It's a curious and strong movement of their hands together.

“A handshake. Between me and you. You are in desperate need of a new campaign manager...fuck, you need a life manager.” Jared still holds Jensen's hand, heaving a huge sigh. “I'll work with you for, uh...a discounted price, since you're the Ali-whatever-ani...”

“... ** _ali_** **-man-** ** _ni_**...” Jensen stresses each syllable.

“Like I said—whatever...and I will carry you to a new outcome at the end of my 3 weeks.” Jared begins to shake his index finger. “No more of that guru-looking shit you wore. And the thin Bedazzled slippers—like, so 1990s...” He makes a weird whistle and shows his thumb going over the side of the bed.

“I do not want to look different from my pack.” Jensen lifts up on his left elbow, pulling is hand back and leans back on the plastic railing to balance his body. “I do not want to look like I live above my means.”

“What are your 'means', Jen?”

“—huh?” Jensen wrinkles his brow in confusion, not understanding.

“What do you do to make your money?”

“Nothing.” Jensen shrugs his shoulders, not sure “odd jobs' would be a good career explanation. “I do a bit of everything to live in the dwelling I share with Duncan.”

“Ahhh, Duncan...good man...” Jared nods his head approvingly, then leans his head back, bending his left arm to tuck behind his head as he lets out a smirk. “Very good-looking too. Nice ass.” The hand he had given Jensen to shake, that cupped the thigh now makes a squeeze of a round butt cheek in the air.

“Pardon!?!” Jensen feels the hairs on his neck stand on end as he watches that atrocious display of hand movements.

“Oh, I guess you never saw me.” Jared flashes his eyes over at Jensen, loving the look of fire in those green eyes. “Dunc picked me up from the airport when you were sleeping on the truck-bed.” He wrinkles his forehead. “You help Dunc run his limo service? Well, truck-taxi service.”

“I repaired the truck for him and, yes...we share expenses, but the business is his sole dream not mine.” Jensen drops his eyes. He hadn't expected to feel such a powerful urge of possession at this sensation of jealousy. “You liked Duncan?”

Jared can tell a jealous face from a mile away. “Uh-huh...why? Is he not good enough for me either? Or...am I still not worthy enough for any Bearer of the Ferae Pack?”

“...you said you liked me.” Jensen doesn't understand how an Alpha can exchange feelings for one onto another so easily.

“But, you don't want me, Jensen.” Jared looks shocked when Jensen punches his chest. “What was that for?!”

“For—for being like every other Alpha I've ever known.” Jensen pushes himself to sit a little more upright, arms crossing over his heaving chest.

“Liar. You do know good Alphas, so don't lie to me.” Jared knows Jensen knows two Alphas already, Vince and Christian. “Tell me why you punched me, for real?”

“Duncan has an Alpha.” Jensen lifts his chin high, daring Jared to defy him.

“uh-huh...and you don't. But you don't consider me a viable option, so why get upset?” Jared pretends like he's confused by Jensen's uber-emotional state, secretly he loves the building ferociousness.

“I-I-I don't know...” Jensen lifts his eyes, feeling himself go flush in the face over his reaction, so blatant and public. “Guess I really believed you liked me. I wasn't just part of your trophy collection.”

“mmm—well, sorry. I saw Duncan first. You were hiding or...pretending to be asleep, I don't know. You were intent on saying good bye to him and leaving on your trek to the village. Had you taken two minutes out your busy schedule—”

Jensen throws a leg over Jared to straddle the wide hips, cups his cheek, merges their brows and faces, then sneaks in for nibbles over a parting mouth that spurts some laughter. He slides fingers through the thick brown mane of hair, arm tucking under to go around the neck to pull the head closer. “Do not toy with anymore of my pack unless you fully intend to pursue them.”

“Does that include you?” Jared lifts one eyebrow in curiosity.

“No.” Jensen shakes his head for clarity.

“mmm...” Jared closes an eye and looks up to the ceiling as if he's truly going to consider it. “I'll think about it.”

Jensen clutches at the tufts of hair. “Do it! No thinking required.”

Jared finds it tough to not smile wide as he stares into green eyes daring him to be clever and sarcastic. “Does that mean you'll hire me?”

“huh?” Jensen furrows his brow in bewilderment, getting lost in the color changes of those hazel eyes.

“To manage your 'campaign' for 3 weeks.”

“Does this mean you'll do as I say because you work for me?” Jensen turns his head to the side then looks at Jared. 

“Depends.” Jared stretches his arms out, then brings them back in to settle hands on Jensen's lower back. “Pay me extra, I'll be your personal slave.”

“...please...don't joke about that.” Jensen sucks in a breath as he adjusts himself over Jared, staring at the mouth now. “I would never—” He finds it hard to swallow the lump lodged in his throat. He feels like being serious for a moment. “I will not humiliate you. I am an Alpha, but I am better than the sum of my parts.”

“Same here.” Jared glides his hands up the back, bringing one arm out so he can press a finfertip into the end of Jensen's nose, swearing he touched a cluster of freckles. “You need to learn to trust me more. You'll be safe within my hands—I promise.” And to make sure Jensen knew he could be trusted, he held up those “hands” of his with palms displayed outward.

 

** ==&&==&&==&&== **   
** TBC... **


	5. Chapter 5

Jared was more of a man of his word than Jensen half-heartedly believed. Jensen hadn't paid much attention to a thing in his hospital room; he never noticed the wheelchair or the pile of clothing and shoes in a neat stack on the seat. There was a change of clothes for Jensen, with a pair of underwear and some interesting looking hard-soled slippers: dark blue and clunky, but they looked comfortable and soft.

Jared wheels the chair over. "I had Vince bring you some things to wear. These shoes are actually diabetic houseshoes. They'll fit around your bandages."

Jensen furrows his brow. "Am I going somewhere?"

"Yes. While you slept soundly, finally, Vince told me Terza asked for you. I thought you might like to go visit, possibly see the 'pup'." 

Jensen is struck into silence, disturbed by how much attention Jared is paying to everything while Jensen was just trying to empty his mind and get better, stronger. "uh, yeah, yeah. I would." He rubs at his forehead, combing back his hair. "God, I forgot so fast."

Jared pats a hand on Jensen's thigh, then clamps on a shoulder. "It's all right, you know. That's what I'll be here for. I'm, like, your subconscious. I'll remind you of things, before you even know you forget them. Vince also brought in the Gallantry Bearers." This time, he cups the neck when Jensen covers a hand over his face in shame, maybe even guilt. "All of them are fine, by the way." Jared shakes Jensen to stop feeling so much for what was out of his control. He bends close to press lips to the hairline, closing his own eyes to feel the sadness Jensen did, though none of it was his fault. "Vince said you always like to check on them for yourself."

"God..." Jensen wipes over his eyes, feeling moisture gather at the backs. Why did he feel like crying? "I had promised them I'd be there." He peers up at Jared, placing a hand over the thick wrist and holding on. "Did you hear if any of them mated?"

"No." Jared goes still, a frown marring his face. "Well, as in 'no' Vince didn't inform me of anything to that fact. And I never asked. I'm sure you'll either know right away or they'll tell you." He leans a hip on the shape of the stretcher. "So...do you want to shower or just change clothes?"

"I already showered when I was in there, as you got me tea." Jensen stuck out his feet. "Was a little tricky with my bandages, but they stayed dry."

Jared nods his head as he looks over the feet displayed for him. "Cool. I'll leave you to change, then." He walks over to pick up the pile, then brings over the clothing. "I...am in need of a very hot shower. Vince brought me a change of clothing, as well." Jared moves the lukewarm tea back over to Jensen. Haphazardly, he just combs back wayward strands on top of Jensen's head, lightly caressing a flushed cheek. "Need anything before I take myself away?"

"no, no...I'm good—-fine." Jensen darts his eyes to look into Jared's face then down below to his waistline, so damn curious to what the Alpha would look like inside the wide shower stall and then what he'd look like coming out of it. He bit down on his bottom lip. "...thank you, Jared." He reaches out to simply lay a small touch to Jared's side, giving a squeeze and a shake of reassurance that he'll be good on his own.

"Don't you dare try to get up, unless it's to sit in this chair. Otherwise, lay back on the bed. I'll be right back." Jared spins to leave, heading behind the privacy curtain, then he strolls into the bathroom with some items bunched in his arms to his chest.

Jensen waits until the door is shut to peel off his gown, then shimmies into the tight white boxers. He shakes out the soft pants, just like his previous outfit. He swings his legs onto the bed to work each foot into the legs, inching the fabric up his bare skin. He lays back to lift his hips and pulls the drawstring tight about his waist. With his chest bare and nipples perking, he looks down at his IV and realizes there is a way he can unhook briefly without disturbing the needle from his hand. So he quickly does that, so he can work his arms through the long sleeves, sliding the neck collar over his head; he immediately re-attaches himself to the IV tubing, opening the valve. He looks down at the form-fitting top; there's only four buttons at the collar, leaving them open allows his chest hair to be seen. He closes all four, but then undoes two to not be prudish. Jensen likes the comfort of the Henley and the linen pants; everything is light and breathable, like he's from a Caribbean island or some kind of beach bum.

Before he knows it, the bathroom door opens, a little steam billows out and then Jared saunters from the cloud in bare feet, bare chest and in low-riding 501s that drape off his boney hip indents. The breadth of the upper chest is massive, probably could dwarf Jensen if he hugged him. What truly had his heart racing, and blood pumping, was the slight scatters of dark chest hairs, tapering to dive under the denim, then the tattoos: only two—-one was a tribal Alpha wolf cuff around the right biceps and then up near the shoulder joint was an image of a wolf's face superimposed with a human one. It usually signified "in memoriam" of a loved one fallen or a wrongful death or a death of immense grief. Jensen feels empathy almost instantly, wanting to give comfort and soothe the Alpha for whatever loss had affected him, yet still had kept him childlike and playful, always finding something to smile or laugh about.

Jared comes around the curtain, working a t-shirt down his muscled torso, then he dons the long-sleeved button-down he had tucked into his jeans, slow-walking toward Jensen in socked-feet. He's rolling back cuffs to his elbows, then sits on Jensen's left, motioning for him to plop a leg on his thigh. When Jensen does, Jared reaches over for the clunky houseshoes. He undoes the Velcro, setting the inside of the shoe at the base of Jensen's foot. As he re-sets the Velcro flaps, he conforms them around the weird thickness with the bandages; Jared does the same with the right foot. He stands in front of Jensen, taking both of his hands to ease him off the stretcher to the floor, then twists him to sit in the wheelchair that's been positioned at the end of the bed. Jared has a brief moment to look at Jensen dressed in normal clothes as he kneels to put the foot rests down, then Jensen's feet on the blocked pedals.

Jensen can't stand it, having Jared this close and not touching. It's only a simple caress over the back, then the shoulder, pretending he's attempting to fix the button-down's collar. He notices how deftly Jared moves around, especially when he knows there's an extension of an IV pole on the corner of the wheelchair, that he can trade out on, so they don't have to drag the IV pole on wheels with them. Jensen sits there, hand over his mouth to hide a secret grin. He's never been the kind of pack who likes being pampered, but he can surely see the appeal and the idea of getting used to this kind of treatment. Jared makes everything look effortless. Jensen watches Jared head toward the bed to grab one of the covers to fold in half, then tucks around his legs in case he becomes cold.

Jared walks behind the curtain and grabs his sneakers. He sits in the recliner to slide his feet in, then bends over to tie laces. "Do you have a preference on who to see first?"

"No, but Terza has been waiting the longest." Jensen can feel the flutter of nerves in his stomach, expecting his brother Alpha Bearer to be highly upset with him. Plus, the excitement of seeing the new 'pup'.

As if Jared feels the swift changes in mood, he pushes off the seat to head toward Jensen. He reaches out to caress the cheek, then the side of the neck. "Jus' breathe, man...stop tryin' to be everything to them an' jus' be yourself. It's why they have such affections for you.” He gives a comforting squeeze to the biceps, then slides around to the back of the wheelchair. “Not because they think you're one step close to their Creator."

“I'm not their Messiah.” Jensen shuts his eyes on a sigh as Jared wheels them out into the hallway. "Alamani is almost like a term of endearment, just being respectful since I'm of royal blood."

"Are you? For real?" Jared has heard Jensen say the words a dozen or so times, but he's just now realizing it's actual truth as Jensen uses it in every day normal conversation, like saying his eyes are green and his hair is blond. 

"Yes.” Jensen wrinkles his brow in confusion as he realizes that Jared is just now taking the fact into consideration. “Why?"

"Nothing, just storing away information for later." Jared pushes them to the nurse's station to make sure they see their beloved Alamani leave in Jared's company with the hospital wheelchair. Where Terza has been since last night isn't much farther. As they go through the double doors into the main hallway, just across from Labor & Delivery is where the Maternity ward is located. Jared has to press the huge square button on the wall to start the automatic doors; he leans over Jensen's shoulder to speak into an ear, resting forearms on the edge of the back of the chair, which places his arms on Jensen's shoulders. "Terza and the 'pup' were kept separate for a bit. I think that time is over now. Vince mentioned they had wanted to be sure the 'pup' was healthy on his own. Then the 'pup' can stay with his mother."

"Don't...” Jensen quickly reaches up to tap Jared's arm. “—don't rush into the room. Terza or the 'pup' could still be asleep."

Neither was the case. Both are wide awake and Terza is already forming a bond with the newborn, letting it suckle, it seems, at his left breast.

The second Jensen fills the doorway, Terza is pushing off the bed to dangle legs over the side. "...oh, Jen...are you a sight for sore eyes." His smile is wide and bright. "What happened to you, brother?" When Jensen was near, Terza slid to the floor, bending over to kiss both of Jensen's cheeks.

"Too much walking." Jensen jokes about himself.

"Eh, you and your walking..." Terza looks down at his son. "Would you like to hold him?"

"Terri, no...” Jensen flicks his gaze to the position the newborn rests in. “Let him feed."

Terza pulls the newborn away to show he's only asleep, just relaxing against the bare breastbone. "He is restless if he's not right against me—-my skin, scenting me and feeling my heat."

"It's as it should be.” Jensen releases a nervous smile, blinking slow, letting his lashes brush his flushed cheeks. “There is nothing wrong with your bond with your own 'pup'"

"That's what I figured." Terza gets completely off the mattress and transfers the newborn into Jensen's perfected cradle of arms, like he had done this a thousand times before.

Jared steps back to watch the two Bearers and how deeply their connection to one another resonates. It's easily misconstrued as mates because they both alternate between Alpha and Omega. 

Terza pets over Jensen's hair, caressing the face, tracing his smile; he kisses the hand of the arm holding his son. "I have dreamed of this day, brother."

Jensen tugs on Terza's robe to have him raise his head. He cups the strong chin; tears are in his green eyes as he leans forward to press a chaste kiss to Terza's lips, then they merge brows. "I knew you would make me proud, that he would be as beautiful as you are."

Terza laughs but begins to shed his own tears as he twists to kiss the inside of the hand. "I couldn't have made it this far without you." He dances his fingertips lightly on the newborn's head, then slides down the forearm underneath. "He's as much yours as he is my Alpha and I's..."

Clenching his jaw tight, Jensen closes his eyes. "Please do not remind me of who his father is."

"How can I not? The minute I looked into this one's eyes, it was like Connor looking back at me." Terza clears his throat and licks dry lips. "It will never be as easy as you seem to think, Jen, that I could turn my back on him and walk away. That I could forget what I do feel to save face. I know you may think me weak for giving in as I've asked that she be brought out and allowed to live in our home."

"...jesus, Terri..." Jensen presses his face to the 'pup's' soft hairs.

"You know what you would do, in this case, but you do not have my heart. Nor do you understand that..." This was going to be tough for Terza to reveal to Jensen. "—-we do not have the right to be picky when it comes to our mating choices, Jen. There are too many of them for so few of us. I will never find the bond I have with my Alpha with any other. So...yes, I must take the good with the bad.” He lets out an easy smile from one side of his mouth. “I must swallow my damn Alpha pride and try to make a good and stable home."

Jensen stares down at the serenity coming off the newborn's face. "Connor broke a trust with me that cannot be mended so easily. But I do not begrudge knowing your own heart and mind, so I will step back this one time, defer to your choice." He chuckles lightly when Terza almost squeals and hugs him tight. He hurriedly covers the 'pup's' exposed ear, pinning him to his body. "Hush! Quiet down or you'll wake him."

"...sorry, sorry, brother!" Terza looks up, catching sight of Jared. "oh, my! As tall as you are, I did not see you." He rises to hold out a hand in greeting. "I've not seen you before...am I right?"

Jared can't help but be overcome by Terza's excitement and happiness; quite a huge difference from who he had seen screaming bloody murder yesterday. "As well as you shouldn't have. I'm Jared—-Jensen's personal slave." He says it simply to rile Jensen's into action.

"Stop saying you're my 'slave'." Jensen rolls his eyes at Jared, then glances at Terza. "You'll give others the wrong idea of me. He's helping me with a few things while I'm, uh...incapacitated."

"ahhh..." Terza gives Jared a sturdy handshake. "I'm Terza, or 'Terri'."

"I'm Jared." Jared repeats with a wink, then returns the strong hold. "I'm from Dr. Genaro's old pack."

Terza closes his eyes in bliss, nodding his head with a half-smile on his face. "—-a man who is pretty much my own savior right now. But I could be biased." He glances down at Jensen, then back to Jared with the lift of a curious eyebrow. "You're Alpha? Unmated?"

"Yes. Why?” Jared raises a curious eyebrow, knowing this will dig hard into Jensen's gut for him to ask so plainly. “You got someone in need of a mate?"

Jensen scoffs, hating how eager Jared sounds to be coupled with a mate. "Don't." He holds out a hand to Terza. "Do not encourage him, Terri. He's only here for 3 weeks."

"There is nothing wrong with the needs of an Alpha being met at our pleasure rooms." Terza sticks a tongue into his cheek, looking down Jensen. "You're being unfair if you keep him to yourself, if he cannot find all his needs met."

Jared stutters out a hard laugh, thankful that someone is willing to look out for his sexual needs.

Jensen pretends to ignore Jared's outburst. "I am not going to release him only to seek out the company of an easy lay, with a Beta or an Omega, who thinks nothing of opening their legs for any pack that comes across this side of the wall. And, besides..." He can feel the stares from both men, keeping his eyes on the waking newborn as he fixes the blanket and picks up the tiny hand. "I am far too busy to refuse need of his assistance."

Jared and Terza share a curious look to one another, then smirk at the possessive sound to Jensen's tone. Jared simply gives a silent shrug to the Alpha Bearer, unable to explain Jensen's attitude and reaction. 

"Sorry. I tried." Terza pretends to feel bad.

"Thanks." Jared makes a fist and pumps it in the air toward Terza to bump knuckles. He likes that the Bearer actually knows exactly what to do. "Solid effort."

Terza laughs as he knocks fists with the Alpha. He crosses his arms, staring down at his brother. "You look good." He squints his eyes, wanting to know what truly had gone on to make this sudden change occur.

"I'm almost a Pro at this." Jensen gestures to the 'pup' in his arms.

"No, no...the clothes, the hair..." Terza touches the things on his brother he mentions. "...your face, your whole—-I don't know. If I weren't so sure of your ways, brother, I would have to say something is afoot and shifting in your life." He flashes wide eyes to Jared, who averts his head to look at the floor. "For the better, I would say."

Jensen is adjusting himself to sit forward in the chair, about to hold out the 'pup' back to its mother. "Come here...take your son back."

Terza holds up one hand to ward off Jensen, squeezing his legs together and hopping around on the tips of his bare feet. "I will, but I need to take a mini-break to the little 'cub's' room. I love him to death—-my little one—-but I haven't had a moment to myself, an' I really don't wanna wheel him in his crib to the bath—” He stops his long-ass explanation, already on the move. “Hold him a bit longer for me...I'll be back."

Jared watches Terza flitter about to run toward his bathroom. “He's right, you know.” He moves to stand by the side of the wheelchair, bending over, then squatting.

"...about what?" Jensen sighs heavy, waiting to hear what wonderful insight Jared has for him this time.

"You do look good—-in those clothes. And holding the newborn." Jared brushes back some hair behind an ear. He can already tell the new clothes give Jensen a certain sensation of being different. "You feel it, don't you—-like a natural draw?” He latches both hands on the armrest on Jensen's right, leaning forward to speak into Jensen's breathing space, fully aware he might be annoying. “Every time you're in their mated lives, in their homes, holding their 'pups'...you've been wanting this for yourself for quite some time."

"I need an Alpha." Jensen nearly mumbles the request under breath.

“Hello?!? ” Jared holds out his arms spread wide. "I'm not exactly the worst choice you could make." 

Jensen chuckles softly, realizing he has to clarify this point. "I need an Alpha worthy of my royal status."

Jared narrows his gaze on Jensen, looking at him from the side of his eyes. "I should start taking offense to that and act hurt, but...I'm not even convinced you believe that in your heart."

Jensen ignores that last statement. "You didn't come here to find a mate, Jared.” He's inching slowly backward to rest in the wheelchair. He can't look at Jared as he explains, “You'll be here and then gone. With no guarantee of when you would return."

Jared places a palm on the kneecap to cup the shape. "Give me a reason to stay."

"No." Jensen isn't able to knock away the hand, but he does try to dislodge it, but unsuccessfully as he feels it slide down his meaty thigh, along the soft linen against his skin.

Jared knows not to go too far between the inner thigh he grips, so instead he makes his clutch a little tighter, like he won't let go. "Then give me hope so I'll be sure to come back."

"This isn't a friendship, Jared.” Jensen glances over his shoulder to where Terza had disappeared to, then turns back to look down at the slumbering 'pup', keeping his tone low. “Once you leave...I will forget you as you will forget me and we move on in our separate lives like we never met."

Jared doesn't even flinch from the comment, but it does smack him quite hard in his mind. He stores it away, knowing that Jensen speaks to him from a place of immense hurt and agony. "Do you like the sound of your own voice or do you like saying everything out loud to convince yourself you're in the right?"

"There's no need to be rude.” Jensen cranes his head back as if he's been slapped. “I'm being honest."

"Rude? Everything you say to cut me down...” Jared removes his hand to be able to bend inward toward Jensen, despite the newborn being between them. “I'm simply supposed to suck it in and take it? Why? Because you assume I'm just a dumb-ass Alpha?"

"I'm not—” Jensen scrunches his face in a hard frown, not sure he understands why Jared's so upset. “When do I cut you down?"

"Each time you say to me I'm not 'worthy' of you." Jared snaps back but in such a hushed voice that it's barely a whisper in the air, and he's pleased that it quiets Jensen to hear it said back to him. He knows Jensen's heard it plenty of times about himself.

Jensen has heard the word thrown about to show why he's unable to have his real pack and why no Alpha will take him on. It's become old hat for him to throw into someone's face without a thought, because it makes them pull away. Jared doesn't, or he won't, and that disturbs Jensen because now he has to stare into hazel eyes that show a similar hurt that he's felt for years. "I'm just one Alpha Bearer, Jared, who happens to be of a certain birthright.” He tilts his head to the left as he twists his body in the chair to look at Jared still squatting on the floor. “Would you rather I lie when I refuse your advances?"

"No. I'd rather you just not say anything at all. I do have a heart, you know...and feelings. They aren't impervious to hurt or pain." Jared slowly rises off the floor from his squatting position.

As if the 'pup' senses discord in the atmosphere, he starts to stir in Jensen's hold.

"Hey!...wait..." Jensen reaches out to snag Jared's arm. "I forget that, though you are Alpha, you are unlike the Alphas of my pack."

"Do they find this kind of stuff seductive and romantic?" Jared allows himself to be pulled back down to the floor, this time bending on his knees. “Like verbal foreplay to be browbeaten?”

“Come here...” Jensen smiles, then lets out a hard laugh. “Hold the 'pup' for me."

"What? Just tell me what you need, I'll do it for you."

"No. Come on...this will only work if I do it." Jensen leans forward to transfer the newborn over. He's stunned by how easily Jared shapes his bulky arms, how his face contorts to being goofy and making the 'pup' respond to him as those beady eyes start to open and recognize new features. Jared brings his face close, then away, letting the tiny hands pat his cheeks and jaw. "...you have good instincts as a father."

"I was over the moon when Beatrice was born."

"Beatrice?" Jensen frowns, thinking Jared had a 'pup' out of a random mating bond.

"Vince's daughter. She's four now. Not quite the 'pup' I remember."

Jensen laughs uncomfortably, not sure why he's relieved, but he is. He reaches out to touch Jared's arm, letting fingers trace over the dark hairs. He leans further over, invading Jared's space. "...I just thought you'd like knowing, you do stir something deep inside me, it's scaring me—-how's that for honesty?"

"It's a good start." Jared extends an arm, hand cupping the side of the neck, thumb tracing up the face. "I wish I truly was worthy enough to be your mate—-be your Alpha." Fingers reach out to drop over his lips to silence them.

"Ssshhh...don't say that anymore.” Jensen never meant to hurt Jared, and he can see that he has and he doesn't like himself very much right now. “It was unkind of me to say, especially since you have shown me how good and tender your heart is. I'm so desperate to mate off my brother and sister Bearers, that I have neglected my own wants and needs, convinced myself I could take someone of Ferae or royal blood. I abhor the idea of attaching myself to exactly who I've been trying to escape from."

Jared is quick to come to Jensen's own defense, trying to show he does understand. Just because they're of different packs doesn't mean they're complete opposites. Jared could tell Jensen a few of his own horror stories, but he choose to let go and move on from his past. "You want your father's love and approval. That's not a horrible request." He slowly rocks the 'pup' in his arms, recalling how he had held Beatrice eons ago, but it came rushing back to him like pure instinct.

"But at what cost, huh?” Jensen slinks back in the wheelchair to grip both armrests. “I do everything to please High Alpha, while I sacrifice more of who I am to be, yet again, thought of as unworthy."

Jared holds the side of the face, fingers tucking into hair. "I do want you. I'm not sure it's a need quite yet. Like you, there's something churning in me I've not felt before." He glances down at the newborn, letting his hands slip down Jensen's chest wall to have his forearm fall to the lap, across both thighs. "I felt this once before, when Beatrice was born. I was still young and foolish, not quite set in my ways like I am now. I didn't have anyone in my sights or my horizon to keep the urge going."

Jensen is attempting to resist the urge to touch Jared as he drapes himself on his legs while holding the newborn. It's a heady combination of scents he never expects to make him feel such need or want. “The eventual mating between Ferae Alphas can be an intensely powerful moment...or a traumatic one, depending on how the connection is built prior to the bout.” He takes a hard swallow as he notices Jared not looking at him but he has turned an ear toward him like he's listening as best he can but keeping a keen eye on the 'pup'. “The Beta and Omega sides of me take a backseat. I would never physically harm you, because I'm not full Alpha.”

Jared doesn't even pick up on how Jensen has turned his words into it being about them coupling, possibly about their own mating. “Ferae Alpha can really hurt their mate when knotting?” He's loving the smell of the newborn, feeling his heart quickening to one day do this with his own son, or daughter; Jared isn't going to be picky.

"It's a pain/pleasure instinct.” Jensen simply places four fingers on Jared's shoulder, nothing more. “The Alpha will be as sensitive as he can muster, but he will be relentless in his pursuit of the Bearer."

Jared shakes his head as he takes in more explanation of the sexual intimacy inside the Ferae pack life. "How do they even couple with other statuses?"

Jensen feels the need to slide his fingers to press into Jared's shoulder blade, then creeping toward the bare nape, under the mane of dark brown. "To the Ferae Alpha, those are the smaller, weaker and tamable offerings. The courting doesn't happen just by choice. The possible mates have prior meetings before the final courtship step."

Terza finally exits the bathroom, prepared to invade the line of conversation. "Speaking of...you an' Duncan are next to go into the Gallantry?"

Jensen bows his head as Jared draws away. "Yes."

Jared stands to walk over and hand the 'pup' back to Terza. He retreats to standing in the distance, where Jensen can't easily spot him, but can sense his presence.

"Yes..." Jensen states again, lifting his head. "It should be an easy win for me. This Alpha...” He shakes his head, making a stinky, frowny face that makes both Terza and Jared snicker. “...is weaker than the last one. All talk,no action. Attractive and well-built, but not much going on upstairs.” He taps at his temple, rubbing his sweaty palms over his linen pants. “Our meetings have been rather...lackluster."

Terza hops backward on the stretcher, able to one-arm cradle as he settles into position; he goes back to opening his robe lapel, like he had before, and giving his son bare skin with the warm pert nipple prominent. "What about Duncan's Alpha?" He hasn't even thought about the Alpha in the room, even though Jared had averted his gaze.

“A surprise, actually.” Jensen waited a bit for Jared's reaction, but was stunned to hear nothing behind him. “Very restrained and quiet. Almost shy...secretive.” Resting elbows on the armrests, he threads his fingers. “His whole demeanor changes when Duncan is anywhere near.”

Terza gives off a tiny smile of pleasure, knowing exactly what that means. "Do you know anything about his Stats?"

Jensen rubs a hand over his jawline and chin, scratching under his throat. He really needs a good shave; his stubble is growing too fast and thick. "Fighting a brother Alpha in the Grid is a bit more different than the Gallantry."

Terza shrugs both shoulders, not sure he knows why Jensen would use that excuse. “Connor was the same, but better in the Grid. He still managed to best me with that one move of his.” He smirks in recollection of the exact move that had pinned him for ten counts, but then had given him a gorgeous mate and now a beautiful son. He never had appreciated losing until this very moment in his life.

Jensen can tell that Terza is slipping back into his better memories, especially by the sneaky smile ghosting over his features. "I hope Duncan's bout is much like yours was—-fair and balanced. And Connor was—-I will admit—-adamant of not taking you in public, but once he realized how willing and ready you were—-well..." He motions quite happily toward the newborn. "We see the results before us."

Terza crosses his ankles, swinging his legs as he looks to his brother. “You going to bother training this time?” He gives Jensen's blue shoes a cursory glance, with a raised eyebrow. “With your feet and all?”

"I'll put a few hours in, when I am able.” Jensen slumps in the chair, folding arms to tuck one hand under his biceps, then clamp the other hand around his other biceps. “Farrack is letting me and Duncan stay at his dwelling and work out at his facility." He glances over his shoulder at Jared, quirking one side of his mouth in a smirk. "Maybe Jared would like to invite himself to join us, since he doesn't want to enter the Gallantry himself."

Terza smiles, raising an eyebrow to gaze at Jared. "You would consider entering the ring for Jensen?"

"No way.” Jared sputters out a hard snort, shaking his head as he juts out his chin to Jensen. “Your precious Alamani has aspirations of me growing a bigger pair of Alpha balls in order to prove to him my worthiness."

Even though he does laugh at the humor, Terza frowns as he looks to Jensen. "An outside Alpha entering a sacred Ferae arena? Gridiron or Gallantry...they would stone him on sight."

"Thank you!" Jared calls out as he folds his arms, approaching the back of the wheelchair. "A Bearer with some common sense." He sets just the bare tips of his fingers on each shoulder.

Jensen peers up at Terza, ignoring Jared behind him. "I do not see another way for him to prove to me—” He stops before he talks himself into a mess he can't worm himself out of. “Eh, should I choose him over every other Alpha."

Terza stares in a bit of shock, thinking Jensen sounds serious. But then he notices how his brother shifts and adjusts in the chair, pretending like he's not affected by Jared's closeness. He's never witnessed Jensen react to any Alpha as if he's agitated enough to have...feelings for him. "Take it from me, the true worth of a good Alpha comes after the courting, once the bout is over and you've mated, becoming familiars in the sharing of bodies. I would rather be tended to and taken care of by Connor than keep fighting against him. He still keeps me and the 'pup' safe and protected in so many other ways."

Jared places a whole hand, palm down on the bone, on Jensen's shoulder; Jensen throws him off. Jared looks to Terza. "His body and mind already think we're mates—-that we've mated. Now, all I need is for his heart to follow suit."

“aww...” Terza tilts his head as if it's the most precious words he's ever heard. “Tha's kind of sweet—-kind of—”

Jensen bows his head, hand covering his face in embarrassment. "Can we please stop talking about this?"

"Sure." Terza bites the corner of his bottom lip.

"uh-huh." Jared lightly pats the crown of Jensen's head.

Terza sticks the tip of his tongue to the inside of his cheek to stem his words. "You've been here all night until this morning?"

Jensen nods his head. "I'm on my way to visit the Bearers who were in the Gallantry last night."

"yeah...I heard there were two victories for us and one loss."

Jensen puts up a hand for Terza to stop right there. "Don't tell me who is what?"

"Fine, fine...” Terza brushes off Jensen's hurried outburst to not being spoiled. “...whatever. No serious injuries to report, from what I heard."

"Good. Maybe that's a good omen."

"I don't know." Terza made a weird face, then shook his head to avert his gaze to the side.

Jensen narrows his eyes on Terza. "What do you mean? What else did you hear?"

"They say that Duncan's Alpha is more than smitten, Jen." Terza turns to stare down at Jensen, wondering if his brother will pick up on his telling cues. 

"Well, he's not the most vocal of Alphas.” Jensen is wrinkling his brow in a intense frown, still not sure what Terza means to say to him in secret. “I'm certain he's kept quite a few things from us."

"I'm not saying his family is pressuring him, but he's more than ready to settle down with his mate and just have a litter. He's been—-they say he's been acting odd at the Grid, too. Like he's done with playing around, ready to mature and have his own pack."

"I know he's pleased with Duncan, but...I suppose this is good news, if Duncan was feeling the same. He talks so much about his big plans to start the limo business. I wish he had actually started this endeavor years ago and it was already running and making a profit."

"Do you think he'd drop the dream for his Alpha?"

"I asked him outright and he said' no', but...I do think he would."

"It's not the worst thing in the world. Duncan's had this goal for himself before he met his Alpha. I think it'll take a backburner, but then he'll pick it back up."

"...jesus...” Jensen averts his head, closing his eyes as if he doesn't like what he's about to hear. “You talk like he's going to purposefully lose."

"You know he's never been a good competitor, brother. Yeah, sure, he does great in training, but—-trust me, once you're in the ring with the Alpha you've grown fond of...it's like a mind-wipe and suddenly, days of training your body fly out the window."

"I've never felt that urge, face to face, with an Alpha who has courted me. I actually think it's them weakening in front of me."

Jared can't help snickering as he shakes his head. "What an inflated ego! No wonder you haven't given in because you like the chase too much with the rampant knot-teasing you love to do."

"Hey! There's a 'pup' in this room."

Terza softly chuckles, eyes darting from Jared to Jensen. The playful banter and playful touches Jared gives Jensen that he swats away...Terza has never been privy to seeing Jensen in a 'cub'-like fashion. Nor that he would smile so easily just at the sensation of Jared nearby. "...well, I would love to keep you two here an' talk all day long, but I think me and the wee one need to lay down for a quick nap."

"Oh, jesus, Terri...I'm sorry. My manners are shot. Jared, please...” Jensen starts to sit back further in the chair, then moves his right arm to see if he can't work the brake lever before Jared does. “We'll say goodbye and go see the Bearers."

Terza settles the 'pup' down in the plastic bin that's his temporary crib, then turns to squat and hug Jensen fiercely. "...thank you, for all that you have given me, and done for me." He pulls away to cup Jensen's cheeks. "I think I am ready to fly on my own. All I need now is your love and support."

Jensen's covers Terza's hands on his face. "Which you will always have, brother."

Terza merges their brows again, placing a quick kiss on Jensen's lips. "...now, go..."

"Bye, Terza." Jared nods his head as he silently rolls Jensen backward out of the room.

"Goodbye, Jared." Terza gives out his own nod with a subtle wink, wiping away tears.

Once Jared has them wheeling down the hallway, the silence feels awkward. Jared places a comforting hand on Jensen's shoulder. Jensen doesn't shake the touch off, but he sticks out his right hand to stop them along the wall.

"...stop...stop!...please...jus'..." Jensen covers a shaking hand over his face.

"Hold on, man...I got you." It doesn't take a mental genius to know Jensen is wrought with some kind of grief or emotional drain. Jared opens a door, backing in to a sparsely lit empty patient's room. He parks Jensen in the chair, setting the brake lever, then squats off to the side. 

"It's never easy to let them go.” Jensen sputters out with a shake to his voice, tears on the surface of his lashes.

"I can see why.” Jared covers his hand on the forearm. “You have extraordinary bonds. Those are hard to sever." He feels every bit of this moment with Jensen and it's killing him not to be able to embrace and kiss it all better.

Jensen covers Jared's hand. “I lose them first when they mate and they give over their maidenhead to the Alpha.” He presses the back of his hand to his quivering lips. “Once they tell me the news they're carrying, I know I still have some months of them clinging to me before I truly have to let them be."

“You've been a loving, supportive parent more often than you know.” Jared uses his thumb pad to wipe away moisture, but they fall thick and quickly. “None of this can be easy for you.” He clears his throat, feeling his own emotions surface. “No matter what I might say to you, when we spar words or I snap at you, you snapping back...I will always have a deep respect and admiration toward you. Everything in this universe is at odds with you, as Bearers, yet...here you are...fucking doing it, in your own way."

Jensen gives a small grin to Jared. “That means a lot for you to say to me—-despite everything.”

Jared shrugs one shoulder, giving out a loud snort. "We're Alpha...we're gonna butt heads. I didn't think—-I thought Betas were strong-willed, that I couldn't take the chance they'd find me lacking, unmateable. It doesn't make me want them more to have to prove something to them. It's why I chose the easier route with Omegas, who can't turn me away. Eh, some have, but most don't. I like that they're helpless in wanting me, needing me to a certain extent. I like being needed, discovering how I—-my presence and my touch...scent or heat, makes them putty in my hands."

Now Jensen is using the hand to block his eyes from the sight of Jared and hearing those words. "I don't need to hear this, Jared."

"Yes. Yes, you do.” Jared tugs gently on the arm of the hand that Jensen keeps on his face. “Because the idea alone of you—-your status—-makes me cringe, only because I'm Alpha. Breeding and birthing with my own status has never crossed my thoughts.” He tilts his head to get those green eyes to look at him, finally, though they're wet and red-rimmed. “But the more I get to know about Bearers, and you, particularly...able to witness your pack's plight among pack life, the more I find myself drawn to you—-to Bearers...yeah, but mostly to you."

Jensen clears his throat. "I appreciate you being honest with me—-I really do. But this changes nothing."

"I don't expect it to. I think I'm getting to know you fairly well."

Jensen reaches out to mess with Jared's collar, like it needs adjusting. He watches Jared bow his head forward so every inch is touchable around neck and nape. Fascinated by the smell and softness of the brown mane, Jensen finger-combs through the lengthy strands. "I'm not used to Alphas like you even coming near me. How easily you touch me or lift me. How it doesn't matter who or what I am, you just care about me.” It makes him ache and tear-up more to have someone finally pay attention to him and just give him a second thought, instead of being the one to take care of others. “Even so far as to wheel me into an empty room so I don't sob my little heart out in public. I doubt any of your Omega minions have seen this side of you."

"...only for you." Jared closes his eyes and lowers his voice to a baritone.

"Why?" Jensen whispers out into Jared's ear.

"Why not?" Jared raises his head, causing Jensen's hand to drop along his face. Jared catches it, kissing the fingers and the palm. It's obvious how much he's affected by Jensen's touch, even in small quantities. "I've never been desperate to feel another's caress like I do yours. It's like the tables have turned on me and I now know what I've been doing to Omegas all this time."

"—-damn you, Alpha.” Jensen snickers with the shake of his head. “It is so difficult to weed through your words to make sure it's not bullshit. Alphas are prone to using whatever tactic to get into bed with any viable mate."

“Again...you assume I'm like your Ferae Alphas and that my only interest in you would be to plant my seed in your womb." Jared is able to cup his hand around Jensen's flat belly. "While that would eventually be what I desire, it's not what I want or need most."

Jensen tries to lean back and away from Jared, but it's tough in the confines of the wheelchair. “Trying to tell me you want to get to know me better?"

"Let me show you how human courting, or 'wooing', works. Actually, it's best to call it...'dating'."

"...'dat-ing'...?” Jensen isn't sure he likes the sound of the word or what it would entail for him. “That doesn't sound very noble."

"It can be.” Jared lets out a soft laugh, unable to keep from smiling as he goes on to explain, “There's various forms of dating. And the one being pursued is the one in control. The pursuer—-me—-will take care of all things on the date."

"This truly works with humans?" Jensen lifts an eyebrow in curiosity, finding his mind being taken out of his sorrow, a little excitement entering his body to feel Jared's attention to him possibly being more focused.

"It has.” Jared nods his head, hand gripping the end of the armrest as the other hand rests on the soft shirt over Jensen's stomach, gently yanking at fabric, like he wants to lift and tuck under to caress bare skin. “It's worked for me as my career makes it impossible to find a mate in a regular setting. Or see someone long-term."

"Have you ever...” Jensen takes a hard swallow, not sure he wants to know. “—been with a human?"

"Yes. Never knotted one, though.” Jared answers with a proud lift to his chin; he's not ashamed of his previous life before meeting Jensen. “They don't arouse me like pack do. Plus, they're rather neutral for me in heat and scent. They're good for a quick fuck, when you need to release tension, but..."

"You've lived such a different life from me. Nothing compared to what I've been through." Jensen drops his hand, about to take Jared's touch off his stomach, but instead, he covers the top of the hand. He looks down to watch the combination of their hands...their skin and how they look joined, caressing over his belly.

Jared watches, as well, but he peeks at Jensen. He leans in, pressing forehead to Jensen's cheek and jawline. "You deserve to be happily mated and with 'pup', as all your Bearer family have been. I'm willing to be that Alpha you need—-and you do need me—-me, no other Alpha.” He tests the moment by pulling back and finds that Jensen is chasing his head, wanting more of his touch. “Don't deny yourself a fighting chance at happiness. Stop denying me—-denying us—-as being possible."

"I want to.” Jensen turns his gaze to stare at Jared's lips. “I need this to be easier than how it has always been, but...I've been hurt too many times to trust so easily.” He reaches up to soothe the back of his knuckles over the dark stubble. “I don't know you that well, and you will be leaving..."

"Ask me to stay—-to stay with you.” He tucks his hand within Jensen's fingers curling, bringing the top over to his mouth, just pressing his face not kissing quite yet. “Ask me an' I'll give up everything I have to come here and be with you."

“No. That's too much.” Jensen is attempting to pull back his hand, but Jared holds tight. “Can't do that—-won't do that to you.”

Jared unbends to straighten his back, looking at Jensen with a narrowed gaze. “Not even if I'm willing?"

Though Jared is close and holds his hand, Jensen refuses to look directly at him. “I won't feel it's right unless you come to me as if it's you're own freewill, not because I ask or you feel it's an obligation as my mate."

Jared nods his head in agreement, and understanding as he places Jensen hand back on his lap. "I think once we're trapped in this...vortex we're in, it's not going to be simple to tell what's freewill and what we feel is right because we're mated." He slowly stands to his great height, moving backward to rest on the footboard of the second patient bed in the room.

Jensen chuckles with the shake of his head as he stares at the plain white wall. "Now you're talking like we've already courted and we're about to mate."

"Wouldn't that be nice, though?” Jared sighs with pleasure as he crosses arms over his chest. “All that hassle done and over with, how we can share our bodies and become one."

"whoa, whoa...ease up there, Romeo.” Jensen puts up a hand, then leans over to unlock the brake lever. He places hands on the metal orbs around the wheels where he can roll them on his own. “That 'hassle' you speak of, it's what makes us certain we're compatible." He has no strength in his upper body so he doesn't roll very far, just further backward.

Jared dully watches Jensen try to maneuver himself in the chair on his own, not getting anywhere since the door is still shut and the handle is kind of difficult to utilize when you're facing backward. “These must be some intense meetings during Ferae courtship, because I'm having difficulty understanding how wrestling you to unravel your, uhm...'cloth', or...pinning you for 10 counts so I can knot you in the ring, even equals a 'compatibility' step.” He tucks thumbs in his back pockets, taking small steps toward Jensen, but the Bearer seems intent on doing all of this by his lonesome.

“If you were Ferae, you would understand.” Jensen struggles out to say from his straining throat as he attempts to make a five point turn to get his wheelchair back to face straight so he can roll out the door—-if Jared would open the fucking thing for him.

Jared doesn't even think of injury to his own body as he steps in front of the chair, alternating his legs to fit between Jensen's feet pedals; Jensen cannot roll forward, he tries but he keeps banging against the front of Jared's calves. “Sooo...” Jared bends over to set the brake and then moves a step backward to squat down, taking hold of the ends of each armrest. "...I'm less of an Alpha because I want to treat you right—-treat you as an equal?"

Jensen frowns deeply, not sure he heard right. It's pitiful how much his chest is heaving as he's out of breath and weakening. "...you would see us as equals?" He removes his hands from the outer wheel-well, then rests on the back portion.

"Yes. I think being attracted—-being aroused—-by another makes us both weak and vulnerable for the other. It levels the playing field.” Jared shakes his head as he stares at Jensen, who seems to be unable to look at him as he averts his head to the side, attempting to catch his breath. “I don't see status being relevant once we've mated. We're together. I don't think I have to prove to you what you would know already, and I would never ask you to submit or sacrifice inside of our life. There's nothing I wouldn't offer to do myself."

"Except carry our offspring." Jensen quietly snaps back, placing an elbow on one armrest so he can bite nervously at a thumbnail.

'Well, yeah, of course.” Jared gives a gentle pat to Jensen's leg. “If anything, you bring more to the table to our mating than I do. I should be worshiping you." He goes to stand, moving toward the door. He pulls on the flat handle to open. As the door widens, he rests his backside on the wooden shape, willing to hold the door for Jensen so he can escape like he wants to.

“no, no.” Jensen waves his hand in mid-air, not going to fall for Jared's clever tricks. “This is more of that Alpha 'wooing' you typically do.” It's a difficult feat, but Jensen manages to roll himself around so he can face Jared. “No self-respecting Alpha would submit to their lower status-ed mate."

“mmm...” Jared looks down at his shirt, playing at the row of buttons. “...why don't you try me an' find out.”

Jensen is utterly flabbergasted. "You get nothing by showing me how weak you are.” He's doubtful he understands why Jared is this way when he knows he won't get anything out of what he's doing, though it seems like everything is for...Jensen. It's nice, and a brand-new sensation, but what does Jared get in return?

"Wrong.” Jared chucks his thumb over his shoulder, then between them. “Look at us, just a few minutes ago—-in this empty room. Your weak moment became my strength.” He gives off a wide beaming smile like he's won something. “I've almost got you convinced that we should be mated.”

"I'm not weak...” Jensen reiterates as he sets the brake lever himself. He's willing to concede that he can't wheel his own chair down the hall, without Jared's help.

"No, you aren't,” Jared kicks out the door-stop to hold the door open, then moves to head behind Jensen's chair; he drops down to an ear to speak into, “because I didn't make you feel weak. I kept you safe—-protected you from wandering eyes."

Jensen shakes his head, hating his own words being parroted back at him with better logic. "We need to be on our way."

"Okay. Fine.” Jared pats a shoulder in reassurance that this is over—-for now. “But we're not even remotely done here."

"I know. Just postpone it a bit...please." Jensen has been given too much insight into Jared, too much to think about and he needs to focus on his task ahead, not think about his own future.

==&&==&&==&&==

The three Alpha Bearers who had entered the Gallantry ring the night before were sharing a room, but the two who had won their bouts were seated on the stretcher of their brother who had lost.

Jensen had asked Jared to wheel him into the room, but to park the chair out of the way, then give him an arm to clutch so he could attempt to walk to the Bearer's bedside.

The minute they see Jensen taking his gradual footsteps, they call out, "Alamani!" and hang off Jensen like he is the proud father of a rowdy clan of Alpha 'cubs'. The Bearers weren't any older than nineteen or twenty. The male and female Bearers who had met Jensen took an arm each, guiding him to the bed where the younger male Bearer beams at Jensen as he tries to sit upright against his pillows—-he may have lost, but to his own mind, he's won something pretty special.

"no!no! Lay back down." Jensen deeply chuckles, patting the leg under the covers. "You know how important it is to keep your body immobile." He lets his hand trace up the thigh, remaining at the area of the pelvis and pubic bone. "How do you feel?'

The Bearer settles down, tucking his arms back under to ward off chills. "Good. Really good. I ache a little, but tha's just because I put up a good fight." He shrugs as he lowers his eyes. "I jus' couldn't take it any longer, Alamani...the pain and arousal. I figured it wouldn't be so bad. He kept whisperin' he'd be gentle and I—-I guess I believed him."

"Was he?"

"Yeah, he was, which made me want him all the more."

The female Bearer lifts her chin high. "He did tease for quite a bit, before he knotted. I was sure he'd plant his seed and pull out, but he made it comfortable for him." She reaches out to take her brother's hand. "He took you twice, am I right?"

"Yes." He nods his head, slowly blinking his eyes shut. "And it was so much better the second time." He tentatively glances at Jensen. "I'm pretty sure I'm carrying. The doctors and nurses say they won't truly know for sure for two weeks, that I should rest today and make certain the seeds have a chance to plant an' take one of my ovums." He clears his throat, swiping down his face as he stems a yawn. "I haven't spiked a fever since I got here, so tha's good—-means I'm not ovulating." He can't help smiling from one side of his mouth, his eyes darting toward the open doorway.

Jensen is fully aware of whom the Bearer is waiting to see. "And your Alpha—-did he return to the Gridiron?"

The Bearer shakes his head. "No. He's here, somewhere." He gives another look around Jensen to check the doorway. "They won't allow him in until the shift change later in the morning."

Jensen doesn't have to ask, but he will. "Would you like to see him now?"

"You can do that for me?!" The Bearer is hurriedly sitting upright, stupidly excited.

 

Jensen soothes the leg he's been touching with a small smile building on his lips. "I will supervise, yes. And he can stay for only an hour. But..." He clears his throat, twisting to wave Jared over. "Could you see about finding his Alpha for me?"

"Yes, I will." Jared nods his head, then looks to the Bearers on their feet. "Could either of you please find a chair and let him sit bedside."

The two Bearers glance at one another, then at the way Jensen allows the strange Alpha to hold his waist and arm.

"I will be right back, Jen." Jared speaks in an ear as he walks away to head to a waiting room. 

There's only one person in the sectioned space, and Jared can tell it's a Ferae Alpha by the swathed loin-cloth around his waist. The burly-chested Alpha wears a vest of animal pelts and a long stretch of fabric encircles and drapes around his neck and broad shoulders. The feet are encased in sandals with leather ties that weave in a pattern up to his mid-calf. 

Jared scents Alpha, as well as skin musk and sweat, but there's a natural spice to this Ferae Alpha's odor that makes him less primitive than his brethren. "Are you—?" He doesn't even get to ask the rest as the Alpha pushes out of the chair he'd been leaning forward in, bowing his head, as he stomps over. 

"Judah..." The Alpha supplies in a breathless tone. "Amal...how is he? They won't tell me a thing."

"He's fine, man." Jared clamps a hand on the Alpha's shoulder. "He's awake and...the Alamani is here."

"Jensen is here?" The Ferae Alpha's face seems to take on a different glow, almost a sparkle of happiness.

"Yes.” Jared can understand why so many Ferae simply light up at the mere thought of Jensen. “And he's allowing you to come see your mate. He'll supervise for a short time. You only have an hour."

Judah has pressed huge palms together in prayer and bows a bit. "Praise be...an hour is enough...please...tell me for certain, is he truly all right?"

"uh, yeah.” Jared frowns with some curiosity, simply because he never thought a Ferae Alpha could look so distraught about their mate...well, their Bearer. “They only have him laying on his back with feet propped to ensure that the breeding process is complete."

"They know this early if we carry a 'pup?"

Jared nods his head, giving off a light smirk. "No, but your mate does."

"...smart-ass." The Ferae Alpha chuckles deeply, rolling his eyes. "Lead, Alpha, I will follow."

This reaction stuns Jared because he hadn't expected a Ferae Alpha to defer to him as any type of leader material. It probably had everything to do with being connected to Jensen—-the sacred Alamani. Jared reenters the hospital room. The two Bearers make themselves scarce. 

Jensen is standing from his chair to stroll down the bed and grabs the Alpha's elbow as they give an arm-clasp shake the Feraes are known for.

"Alamani, you honor us with your presence." Judah is near breathless as he gives a slight bow to Jensen.  
“Nonsense.” Jensen gives a tender pat to Judah's massive shoulder joint. “You honor me by treating your mate as you had promised you would. It could not have been easy to tamp down your primitive instincts."

"I seem to have surpassed that side, gone into this..." Judah shapes his hands around his head. "It was like all our meetings...our conversations just made sense. I entered the ring with no idea what to do. I just knew what I wanted..." His eyes dart behind Jensen to the bed where he knows his mate is. "...what I needed."

"Still, you managed to not only impress your mate, Amal, but me as well. You know that is not easy to do." Jensen moves out of the way from blocking the view. "...an hour, no more. Then you must obey the floor's visiting rules."

"Yes, Alamani..." Judah lets out a huge smile as he sees Amal's eyes peering up from the blanket hems. "Are you freezing?"

"Just a bit of a chill." Amal throws aside the covers once Judah is closer. "I'd be warmer if you were under here with me."

Jensen starts to tug the privacy curtain, but then Jared comes over to finish drawing the material completely around the cubicle. "...they won't try to knot again will they?" He whispers out in a rush as he hurriedly avoids sticking near to eavesdrop.

"No, but if they want to share their bodies in some other way, it's not frowned upon." Jensen attempts to take a few steps, but Jared blocks him. "You don't have to stay here if this embarrasses you."

"It doesn't. Just wondering if this is what happens with all those prior 'meetings'." Jared chuckles as Jensen shoves him. "What?! I'm only askin', 'cuz then it would make a helluva lot more sense to me."

From behind the thick curtain come noises that don't exactly hide what's taking place...

 

** ==&&==&&==&&== **   
** TBC... **


	6. Chapter 6

"Stop!"

"What?!"

"Don't look at me like that!"

"Like what?"

"Like I'm a pervert."

"Did the way I look call-out your pervertedness?"

"It's important for the Bearer to rest, but, if possible...it is good for him to have his Alpha near. For them to..." Jensen has to pause as there's some light chuckling and loud smacking of lips, then the sound of the bed creaking from added weight.

"I understand why you don't stay for long." Jared dodges another shove from Jensen. "What?! Will you stop inflicting violence on me. I've never actually, intentionally, listened to the sounds of other pack—" He stops talking only because Jensen places a hand over his mouth.

Jensen lifts his head—-just so—-to hear that, despite his words from before, the two mated Ferae were in the middle of knotting; the Bearer riding the Alpha as he straddles him. Jared and Jensen stare wide-eyed at one another, pretty sure they should leave the room and shut the door behind them. 

It's a bit of a comical race to see who can make the hastier exit, then once the paneling shuts, latching on the locking mechanism, the noises and verbal exchanges coming from inside the room show how well-matched the two Ferae are. 

Jared finds himself leaning back on the wall with Jensen over him. Jensen's hands are fisted in Jared's shirts as he huddles into the chest under him. Both display half-cocked grins, heavily breathing and fully aware of how ridiculous this moment has been for them.

"Fuck!" Jensen face-plants in Jared's mid-chest.

"What?" Jared doesn't expect Jensen to utter an explicative that loudly in public.

"My wheelchair is still in there..."

And that's what starts Jared off into snickering, then Jensen moves his head around to lay cheek-side down and begins to lightly chuckle in kind, the fingers of his hand releasing the clothing Jared wears, and now he pets down the rumpled shirts, shaping the torso in his palms. Jared lessens his laughter the more he finds Jensen burrowing into his body; he feels the need to wrap arms around the Bearer and pulls him closer. It's weird how, after all Jensen's heavy-handed talk of denying Jared, he's not opposed to using him as a pillow or a heater or some kind of shelter as arms slide under the button-down around Jared's back. Jared brings one hand up to press to the streaked blond hair, petting over strands to play with the curled ends, then with the flat of his other palm he soothes over Jensen's back, causing him to let out a tiny mournful groan.

Jensen is drawing backward, like he's been burned, like he can't be seen being slightly intimate with anyone in front of his fellow Bearers. "They should be done. Go...go get my chair." He slowly distances himself with tiny steps to the opposite wall, keeping his hands cupping the back of his hips at his waist. He doesn't want the younger Bearers to think he was being comforted, not letting it mean anything more than just a sweet friend making sure the other was all right.

Jared makes a gradual advance into pressing on the handle to let himself in so he can sneak over to grab the wheelchair and leave without any disturbance to the mating couple, but this time he has the helpful use of Jensen holding the paneling open for him as he squeezes the collapsed chair through the smaller opening.

The female Bearer approaches first, watching Jared slam the wheelchair down to expand the seat. "They bitin' the sheets, Alamani?"

Jensen has sense enough to blush, but it's only because he thinks they may have seen him with Jared. "If that is a euphemism for what I think it means, then...yes." Jared is still softly chuckling, and before he can set the brake, Jensen shuffles to sit down in the seat. 

"Hey, congratulations to both of you.” Jared holds his hand out to both the Bearers to offer his praise. 

Jensen nods his head toward the Bearers, as if to add his own praise in with Jared's. He tilts his brow toward them, hoping they understand. “I must cut my visit short for I need to think about how I will find a way back to Oloko Village."

The two Bearers become a little more serious and somber. "We will say a prayer for the family, Alamani."

"Blessings on you both. I will see each of you soon. Please..." Jensen looks at Jared over a shoulder. "Let us be on our way."

Jared glances at the two Bearers, leaning toward them to tell them in a hushed voice, "I would give them 'bout 5-to-10 more minutes. And...the Alpha needs to be out in 35 minutes, no more, no less.” He nods and smiles, wheeling Jensen away to head to the elevator.

"We're they still—?" Jensen is twisting in the chair to look behind him at Jared.

"oh, yeah!" Jared snickers as he snorts out a hard laugh.

"Damn..." Jensen is shaking his head, a little impressed because he knows how wiped out he can be after a Gallantry bout even though he had trained for days beforehand.

There is an awkward stretch of silence, Jared backing them into an empty elevator. As he reaches over Jensen to press the floor button, he lets his hand drop to a broad shoulder then slides the hand to pet over Jensen's neck, playing in his hair and over an ear. It's odd how both of them feel like the older, wiser mated couple who had just been rattled by the sight of the young mates going at it—-hot and heavy—-and they had started to become nostalgic for what used to be.

Jared wheels them into Jensen's room and they both sigh in relief, like they've come home to familiar territory. He parks the chair near the bed, sets the brake and then helps Jensen hop onto the mattress. He drops to one knee to un-Velcro the houseshoes, running his hands over the dry and damp bandages. "Wanna rest up a little with the bandages off, and then I'll re-do them before we head out?” Jared stands to his tall height. “Or do you want me to do everything now?"

Jensen feels weary, not just in body but in mind and spirit. "Cut them off and let me air dry them as I rest.” he sends back his arms fists formed to crawl backward on his knuckles. “It's not going to be an easy visit to Oloko."

Jared closely watches Jensen as he swings his legs up, bent at the knee, onto the stretcher. "How far did you get in the village before they came and got you?"

"The boarding house I'll be staying at for my visit.” Jensen is throwing back all the sheets and covers. “My bags are still in my room."

Jared raises one lone eyebrow. "Do you think they have a spare room for me?" He keeps the smile to himself a she watches Jensen's green eyes widen with shock.

Now Jensen's attempting to re-stack the pillows at his back. "Are you going to stay with me while I'm there the whole time?" He can't look directly at Jared as he asks.

"You need looking after.” Jared is a bit forceful as he wishes he could tell Jensen he should've had a caretaker all along, but that would cause Jensen to feel like he was at fault for being abandoned and that's not Jared's point. “I'm not dropping you off and abandoning you." Somebody in Jensen's life was about to take a stand and not back down.

"Jared, I..."

"No, don't.” Jared is waving his hand for Jensen to shush and be quiet. “Don't say a word. I feel like I took responsibility for you once you collapsed in my arms.” He unlocks the wheelchair's brake, then squishes the whole unit into hits smaller form, then walks it over to the wall. “It wouldn't feel right if I trusted you to look after yourself."

Jensen is laying rather low on the mattress, turning his head on the pillowcase. "It's rather tedious and boring, what I do. I don't want to annoy or frustrate you." He grins a little when he sees Jared hiding a smile of his own.

Jared wanders over tot he bedside, then lowers the left railing. "Trust me, in my career, I have been at some of the weirdest and most yawn-inducing events and parties.” He looks to the bedside table to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything. “I doubt very much this will compare.” He wrinkles his brow in curiosity, not sure if he remembers if Jensen mentioned it to him. “Is the funeral today or tomorrow?"

“The wake is today.” Jensen somberly folds his hands over his middle, downcasting his eyes. “The ceremonial burial is the next day."

Jared finds himself near the head of the bed, resting a hand on the top portion to look down at Jensen, left hand cupping his hip. "Will they bury them together?"

'Yes. I'm assuming so." Jensen drops his chin to chest. He closes his eyes when he feels the warm touch to his cheek. "...such a senseless killing, an, yes...no doubt in my mind it was a cold-blooded killing." He turns toward the caress.

Jared bends to brace his hands on the edge of the mattress so now he's a bit more level with Jensen's eyes. "You shouldn't have to deal with this, not in light of what you already go through."

Jensen opens his eyes to stare up at Jared, seeing how he genuinely seemed worried. "It's the small and hefty prices we pay for modernizing our pack. Hunters are too intimidated by the High and Ferae Alphas to harm them, though I do know that there could be some unwritten rule that if the humans leave them alone, all other Ferae statuses are fair game."

"...christ...” Jared pushes off the bed in frustrations, folding his arms to tuck hands away. “How very...clever of High Alphas to seal their own protection."

Jensen has been unable to fight against this practically all his life, so it's old hat for him to talk about. "But what they never realize is that innocents cannot tell Ferae Pack from an outsider pack, so these senseless murders will keep happening."

Jared becomes quiet; it's all a bit too much. And not only had he started to care about Jensen, he was now beginning to worry about him, relentlessly. Mainly because, apparently, Jensen likes to walk instead of drive, or even allow someone to drop him off a little closer to his destination.

Jensen notices the unsettling silence from Jared, the way the features become so serious and worrisome. He wishes he had known a way to cheer the Alpha up.

Jared moves to the end of the stretcher where Jensen had haphazardly placed his feet back on the stack of pillows and unravels the bandages, since he doesn't have scissors. He helps Jensen lift his legs to scoot backward on the bed to the head of the mattress; Jensen relaxes on the pillows behind his head, while Jared reorganizes the pillows at the footboard. Jensen continues to watch Jared as he goes about trying to make him comfortable, even so far as going to refill the ice chips and water pitcher. Jensen finds the TV remote again, but only turns it on for background noise. Jared returns, bringing over his single piece of luggage Vince had brought him, repacking some items and emptying out other things he will need later.

Jared clears his throat, knowing it's been long enough for him to re-start conversation. "How long do you expect to stay there?"

"Probably 3 days. No more than 4." Jensen sees Jared looking into his bag as he asks. "Do you need more clothes?"

"No. I'll be fine." Jared bites at his bottom lip as he closes the zipper and puts the bag on the floor. He makes his way back over to the recliner, picking up a small cup of coffee and a local newspaper to read.

Jensen attempts to concentrate on the TV screen, but it's hard with Jared in the room, being so far apart and the casual manner Jared seems to ignore him. Jensen turns down the volume a little, then rolls to his left side. "...Jared..."

"hmm?" Jared only lifts eyebrows, not looking up from what he's reading.

"In case I forget..." Jensen finally has Jared's attention. "—-thank you.” He lowers his tone to almost a whisper, then picks imaginary lint off the blankets. “I really do appreciate what you've done for me. That said—” He bends his right arm and tucks it under his left cheek, outstretching his left arm over the mattress. “This is your vacation, so...you don't have to babysit me while you're here."

“Exactly...MY vacation.” Jared stares, then smirks as he wiggles his eyebrows. "I get to spend it however I want."

While he's extremely touched by the attention being paid to him, Jensen can't help but think of the family—-Jared's own pack—-that he's missing out on being with. "What about Vince and Moira? Beatrice?” He almost chokes on a swallow as he goes on, “...you hardly know me."

"What do you think I'm doing?" Jared stares hard again with a tilt to his head, then shrugs his shoulders. "I'm, hopefully, going to learn everything I can about you." He pretends to go back to reading his newspaper,only he's been reading the same headlines over the last few minutes, not even getting past the first sentences of each article.

“I'm boring.” Jensen barks with a smirk. “You'll be bored.”

Jared keeps dropping the flap of the newspaper down, then back up, down then back up as he gives strange looks to Jensen over the rim as he shifts and arcs his eyebrows in curiosity. It does draw Jensen out to laugh, which is a nice sound to hear after the last few hours they've had. "I haven't been bored yet. An'...I like bein' with you, around you. Each time I've left you, so far, I've been more eager to return. You think I'm giving you a pat answer 'I'll be right back', but you've no idea how true that statement is." Jared refolds the paper, setting it aside. He takes a sip of his coffee, looking over at wide green eyes. "What?" A small grin spreads over his mouth.

Jensen shuffles backward on the mattress, stretching out his left arm further to wiggle fingers at Jared and use his other hand to pat on the blankets.

Jared points to himself, glancing behind him like he's unsure Jensen means him. He gets out of the chair, slips onto the bed, above covers and lifts his right arm to find Jensen crawling closer to fit against his side. At first, Jensen's only laying against him, then he adjusts to turn toward and places a hand on his chest. At some point, the hand becomes the whole arm and Jensen's sliding his bare feet over Jared's leg so he can dangle them between the thighs. Jared goes from an arm on the pillow and bed to then an arm around Jensen's frame. Now the arm pulls Jensen flush to his chest while he rubs circles over Jensen's back. Jensen releases a sign of contentment, closing his eyes to ease himself into a deeper sleep than usual.

==&&==&&==&&==

They wake to breakfast trays and head out on the road after Jensen's re-bandaging and discharge from the hospital. They're able to walk to the car rental facility: the car would be out front, outside of the front gate. Jensen keeps making grumbling noises, hating how much money Jared has been wasting on him.

They make it out to Oloko Village by early afternoon. Jensen has just enough time to change into some type of special clothing for the Royal Ferae family. Jared demands that Jensen wear the special houseshoes, even if he did have matching slippers that complimented his ensemble.

As Jensen prepares himself in his room, Jared is on the same floor, a few rooms down, behind his own door. Jensen knocks to tell Jared he will be heading downstairs and he will meet him in the foyer. While Jensen talks with the manager who ran the boarding house, Jared finally comes down the stairs, dressed in a casual dark blue suit. Jensen takes a bit of a step backward, not expecting Jared to have gone out of his way to locate an appropriate suit for the wake. Green eyes widen and his nostrils flare as he's pelted with a nice fragrance he knows isn't natural for Alphas—-this must be a cologne of some kind and it does something to Jensen's insides, like a flutter or a flip-flop in his gut.

Jared takes an opportunity to thank the house manager for the loan of the two suits; he had been lucky that there had been a few random boarders over the years who left clothing behind. Jared had gone into the lost-n-found closet and had found two decent suits of varying dark colors and stumbled upon a pair of loafers in his size, which was almost impossible in a real store. Jared offers Jensen his arm to guide him out to the car.

Jensen is set to take the passenger side, but Jared reminds him that Jensen should want an appearance in Oloko to be different. So, though Jensen mutters his complaints, he agrees to sit in the back but still on the passenger side. It's weird because now Jensen feels like there's some growing distance between them and Jared is nothing more than his Alpha personal assistant/campaign manager [ and sometimes his bodyguard ]. Jared doesn't seem to be that affected, even though he knows how much it's frustrating Jensen. It lets him know that despite everything Jensen had claimed wouldn't, and couldn't, go on between them, there was something tangible there Jensen had still wanted to keep going.

The wake is a little less somber once the grieving family and friends welcome the Alamani into their midst. The widowed Alpha appreciates Jensen's appearance even with his own medical outcome looking precarious. He greatly respects that Jensen would be there for the funeral tomorrow, as well, once mother and 'pup' were laid to rest in the pack's crypt.

Jared had kept his distance, but he never had let Jensen out of his eyesight, even when Grandmothers and Aunties had continued to ply him with so much rich food and tons and tons of mixed drinks. They also had gone on to interrogate him on whether he was unmated and who had he come with. Once he had allowed Jensen's name to pass his lips, they had tended to raise their eyebrows in curiosity, often letting smiles eek past their lips. This hadn't deterred them from bringing over other mateless pack to introduce Jared to.

Jensen had known what was going on; he hadn't appreciated it one bit. It had been distracting him from doing his usual spiritual work of talking with and listening to the villagers, learning their woes and complaints, making sure he could do whatever he could to help them. Instead, he had been worrying about all the single Omegas [ males and females ] who would smile or said “hello” to Jared. He had been relieved that Jared had been treating this more like a job than him being out and about, looking for a mate. Every conversation was politely cut short; Jared would catch the intent green gaze and roll hazel eyes into his head, causing Jensen to smirk and quietly laugh to himself.

As it had grown later in the afternoon, Jensen had known he had overstayed his welcome; he had grown tired of how popular Jared was becoming. He had pulled the widowed Alpha aside and inquired if it was okay that he could return later, when the house was less crowded. He wasn't inviting himself to an evening meal; Jensen had wanted to minister and give council to the widower, but the next words out of the Alpha's mouth had been to ask the Alamani to eat at his family's table. Jensen couldn't refuse. Jared had been watching the whole exchange, knowing exactly when to step to Jensen's side and help to make a gradual exit.

Again, Jared puts Jensen in the backseat of the vehicle and takes the driver side behind the wheel. Jared keeps a keen eye on Jensen in the rearview mirror. Jensen had become utterly subdued and eerily quiet, the put on some sunglasses to block out the appearance of his red-rimmed eyes.

As they had pulled away from the home, and have gone a few miles away from the neighborhood, Jared had sworn he had  
heard Jensen say something to him, but it had been poorly muffled. “—huh?”

“...pull over...please...”

Jared wrinkles his brow in serious concern. He does as asked, and once he's parked, he twists to the right, his arm going up along the seat back to look at Jensen. But Jensen climbs out of the back to open the passenger side door and plop himself down in the seat right next to Jared. 

Jensen belts himself in, leaning against the paneling. “...drive...please...”

Jared slowly draws down his arm, unsure what's going on. He glances over at Jensen on their way back to the boarding house. It's as he steers the wheel with both hands, that at some point, Jensen blindly reaches out to clamp a hand on a muscled forearm. Jared allows Jensen to have his arm, feeling the hand slope down his wrist and take his hand, entangling their fingers. As Jared quickly looks over, Jensen no longer leans on the door, but bows his head a little, trying to control his emotions. “I know—-I know...it's okay.”

Jensen nods in agreement, bringing the bond of their hands to his face.

Jared feels the moisture; Jensen has been shedding tears, and he's desperate for something—-someone—-to hold onto so he doesn't drown in the sorrow he feels. Jared parks the car, gets out to wander around to the passenger side. He doesn't even let Jensen put one foot on the ground before he lifts the Bearer out, hefting him into his arms. “I got you, man...I got you.” 

They both slam Jensen's door closed, and Jensen holds on tight, burying his face away in Jared's spice-scented neck. They make it to the house, where the wife of the manager is flustered and concerned at the sight of the Alamani needing to be carried. Jared promises her Jensen is fine, just extremely exhausted. Jared had known where Jensen's room was, and he didn't stop until he had a knee on the mattress, lowering the blond head to hit a pillow. As he takes off his own jacket, he rolls sleeve cuffs to his elbows, then immediately removes the houseshoes off Jensen's feet. The bandages are fine, but they will eventually need changing before bed tonight. 

Jared helps Jensen out of his tunic top, unties the drawstring waistband and shimmies off the soft linen pants. Left in his tight briefs in the center of the full-sized bed, Jared pulls the covers over Jensen to keep him from shivering and getting chilled. Jared sits at bedside, holding the clump of Jensen's hands on the covers above his bare chest. “You shouldn't be here, feeling like you do.” Giving the hands a squeeze, he brushes fingers over Jensen's flushed cheeks. “It wouldn't have been terrible of you to stay gone one more day, then be here for the funeral. I'm sure they would've understood.”

“I always keep my promises.” Jensen is alternating both of his shoulders to keep rubbing at the wetness that simply keeps falling out of his eyes. “If they can't count on me, who then?” He attempts to gaze up at the ceiling,hoping his eyes will just stop leaking at some point, but sometimes once he's started, he can't seem to stop. 

Jared leans over to buss a soft, chaste kiss on Jensen's brow, using one prominent knuckle to wipe away moisture. “I'm in complete an utter awe of you right now. You've no idea.” He rubs his cheek over the side of Jensen's face.

Jensen closes his eyes to twist his head toward the side of Jared's face, making more of a move to sink his nose into the softness of the mane of dark strands. “I think I get an inkling.”

Jared clears his throat, reluctantly pulling backward to look down at Jensen as he braces his right hand on the other side of the body, near the shoulder. “I know why you got this way—-collapsing and heat exhaustion, dehydration.” Being able to be the fly-on-the-wall during that whole ordeal at the wake, he now knew how Jensen had spiral out of control with his own health. “Witnessing you go on doing equal parts eating and drinking to have to speak to every single one of those pack members. Not to mention...what it must trigger in your own mind to hear all of that coming at you.”

“The Ferae keep hoping we'll find a religion or a church.” Jensen slinks up a bit higher on the pillows, feeling quiet vulnerable laying completely on his back with Jared looming above him. “These people need guidance and hope. They already have faith and beliefs.” As he talks on and on, he keeps pressing the thumb joint of his right hand into his left palm, like he's trying to massage away pain.

Jared can see a nervous twitch, so he covers both of Jensen's hands, dipping his head to meet hazel with green. “...but you're not God. You're just like them—-human...a man.”

Jensen comprehends what Jared means, but he needs to understand something else. “To them, I am something more.” He swallows hard with some difficulty because this is a truth he's never told anyone else. “I need that in my life. I want it to be in my life because it lets me know purpose.”

“I wish you could see what I see.” Jared shakes his head, brushing back the light blond hairs. “That you'd realize that you do more harm than good for yourself.”

Jensen knows what Jared is trying to say to him. It's a new feeling, reacting to someone who cares enough about his welfare to tell him to his face that he needs to forget everyone and take care of himself. “You were right. I am more exhausted than I thought I could be.” He grabs for Jared's hand, squeezing in reassurance he will fine in a short time, back to rights. “A short nap will refresh my system. Wake me in a few hours.”

Jared wonders if Jensen isn't just spreading himself thin yet again. “I can call the family, cancel your acceptance of their invite to dinner.” He thinks to throw out an offer. “You can sleep as long as you want, and we'll eat here.”

Jensen pretends to shoo Jared's hand away. “You are bound and determined to get me alone and all to yourself.”

“Guilty. Yes. I must confess.” Jared holds out his hand, palm facing toward Jensen, almost like he's reaching for heaven or praising Jesus. “I am dying to just be alone with you, in a room—-much like this...” He playfully dives for Jensen's neck, but finds the portion of bare skin is a bit more tempting than once thought, so he's actually nudging and possibly about to nibble. “mmm...an' attempt to show you exactly what you'd be missing if you keep rejecting me.”

Jensen sighs, too weak to push Jared off him. “Shut the light off, please.” He intentionally rolls away so he dislodges Jared's head off his chest.

Jared swipes a hand down his face, moving to shut the lamp off and goes to stand, but Jensen holds onto this hand tighter. “What?”

Not daring to turn from his position, Jensen speaks over a shoulder. “Jus'...stay. Stay until I fall asleep, huh? I might not be able to settle unless you're somewhere near.”

Jared toes off his shoes, loosening his tie. “You're becoming too used to me being around.” He allows Jensen to keep his hand, then stretches out, aligning with the back of Jensen's frame under the covers. “Pretty soon, you won't be able to function with me at all.”

“ssshhh, please.” Jensen places an index fingers over his lips, then whispers loudly like he's in a library. “The Alamani needs his rest.”

Jared snortles, nuzzling the blond strands, sliding over neck to kiss a cheek. “And so it shall be...” He rests on the same pillow as Jensen, feeling the Bearer shuffle his bottom into his groin and pull on his arm more.

Jared falls asleep with the biggest on his face.

==&&==&&==&&==

When Jensen wakes, he's alone, laying on his back. He rolls to the right, exactly where Jared had once been and face-plants, inhaling and soaking in the leftover scent and heat. He has no idea how long Jared's been gone, but he's already starting to miss him, an ache low in his gut. He rises out of bed, donning a simple t-shirt and pajama bottoms; he drags off a blanket as he walks out of the room. He turns right to head to Jared's door, knocks, looks in and finds it empty. Then he hears the manly bellowing echoing up the stairs. He walks down, following the low, but loud cheers. It intrigues him because he can pick out Jared's sounds in all those noises without even seeing him. He notices a wide entryway into an informal living room with a television. Jared, two other male boarders and the house manager are watching some human sporing event on the monitor.

Immediately, Jared spins his head around to find Jensen filling half the arched doorway. He pushes off the plush couch to wander over. “I was waiting for a commercial break to go upstairs and wake you.” He wraps an arm around Jensen's shoulders to embrace him to his side, then releases to steer him ahead. “It's barely 4:30. You have some time before your dinner invite.” He rubs at both shoulders, then up and down the dangling arms. “Hungry or thirsty?”

“I could drink something—-like water or juice, maybe.” Jensen takes a position free-form on the cushions, not sure where Jared is going to sit himself.

Jared shapes Jensen's jaw, bringing his head in to buss the brow and then yanks at the blanket to settle it over Jensen's legs, covering his bandaged feet in the slippers. “Relax an' curl up.” He scratches at the scalp and brushes through some longer locks of hair. “Watch some basketball. Root for the orange and blue ones, 'cuz tha's my team.” He exits the room, picking up his empties, as he hears Jensen snort out a soft laugh.

Jensen knows the other pack in the room have gone quiet because of who he is. He wants to open his mouth and tell them he's just like them, that they didn't have to curb their excitement around him, but then Jared returns, pushing his way between Jensen's legs and the coffee table to worm back to sitting in the corner of the couch.

Jared sits to Jensen's right, slouching and propping his socked feet up on the coffee table surface, lounging in his jeans and a deep V-neck t-shirt. “Come on...sit back.” He pats the area of his side, right under the left arm he rests on the back of the cushions. “Lean on me if you're still not wide awake.”

Jensen flashes his gaze briefly to the others in the room, not used to public displays of affection in front of people. He brings up his legs, bending them at the knees and relaxes backward into the curl of Jared's arm, his head on the shoulder as the arm collapses to fit around his body, hand cupping his biceps, fingers trickling up and down bare skin under the t-shirt sleeve. He tucks himself beneath the blanket, huddling into Jared's radiating warmth. Even though Jared is invested I what's on-screen, he still pays attention to Jensen; a hand in his hair, a soothing rub over the whole arm and the way Jared leans his head or brow a few times on top of Jensen's head. When there's breaks on the television, Jared converses with Jensen. Basically he tells him that he will be driving him to, and then picking him up, from the widower's house. Jensen isn't sure he can do this again without Jared going to the dinner with him, but Jared is adamant that the family wants to be with the Alamani, not distracted by the newness of Jared's purpose or role in their savior's life. Jensen holds Jared a little tighter with the idea of a few hours without having Jared near to him; it was very weird to feel a little frightened about how he'd be received and accepted.

The closer to the end of the game, the emptier the room became. The house manager hadn't left Jared and Jensen alone on purpose; his wife was expecting him to do his husbandly chores around the place, as if it was their real home, which it was. Once the sofa was free, Jared slid to the opposite corner, putting a pillow down on his thighs to have Jensen stretch out with his head on his lap. 

Before Jensen makes one more move, after laying down with head on the pillow and turning to his back, he feels the need to explain something to Jared. “I'm sorry I didn't explain my reaction better to you, when we left the wake.”

Hand on Jensen's chest, Jared forms a loose fist and gently rubs. “It's understandable.” The other hand comes out to smooth over Jensen's cheek. “You do look a little better after some rest.”

“No...well, yeah, but—-Alpha Bearers have an intense want to empathize. I suppose it helps us to balance out our own past backgrounds. We have an immense capacity to be compassionate, but...” He extends out his hands briefly to display himself. “—as you saw, a poor execution in how to release it.” He brings his hands in to lay over Jared's. “The Alphas in us want to internalize and move on. Without the support we continually need, we become a powder keg of pent-up emotions. We cling to whomever's closest and we, probably, lean on them a bit too heavily.”

Jared uses his left hand to combs back a few wayward blond strands. “I was glad it was me you turned to.” he quirks up one side of his mouth. “I like being needed like that.”

Jensen blinks slow, looking up at Jared as he latches onto the wrist of the hand still on his chest. “I wish I could tell you it won't happen again. I just needed to warn you.”

Jared spans out his hand, five-fingers wide and wiggles Jensen by his mid-sternum. “Think you'll be all right tonight and tomorrow at the funeral?”

“Yes.” Jensen nods his head, then gives a lop-sided grin. “I'm gonna have to be.” He averts his eyes and looks off toward the television screen, the volume has been turned too low to know what's going on. “It's never been easy for me, being the sole representative of my family, but I humbly accept the role. I do what I can to keep the peace. Even if that peace is more centralized and sits within the grieving pack member.”

Jared joins Jensen in staring at the monitor a few feet in front of them; it's a nice distraction and keeps them from having to look at one another. “I can't even fathom the rage and turmoil the widowed Alpha must feel. Hopeful that some type of justice can be served. He has to feel helpless at this point.”

Jensen blinks slow as he moves to lay their palms together, threading fingers, then holds the hand to his face as if to use Jared's energy to soothe to calm. “It's tough not to think of yourself in the same situation with your own mate.”

“Even a potential mate?” Jared knows exactly what Jensen is talking about. “The idea of any human bringing harm to you...” He caresses his knuckles along the cheek and jawline. “—makes the Alpha in me wanna rip them limb from limb.”

“I can't stop getting emotional over the 'pup'.” Jensen kisses Jared's skin, then holds their bond to his chest. “Talk about an innocent life taken away too cruelly, tragically.”

Jared breaks his hand away from the hold to slide his fingers over the flat belly, then grips the waistline.

Jensen closes his eyes, letting out a soft moan, turning his head into Jared's body. “I would give over my life for my 'pup'.”

“ssshhh...” Jared hand cups Jensen's head, brushing through the hair to the very back, near the nape. “don't—-don't say that.” He tilts his head to be able to see Jensen's face better as he bends toward an ear.

“It's true. I've never doubted that I would. Even more shocking is...” Jensen brings up a hand to tug at Jared's t-shirt material. “—how much I'd sacrifice for my mate—-my Alpha.”

Jared lets his hand slip under the bottom hem of the t-shirt to soothe over bare skin, slipping around to the back to caress along the spine. “I have no doubts on that, being how difficult you make it for yourself to even find an Alpha to be with. But...I do think I'm beginning to understand more of why you do put them to such great tasks to come close to you.”

“Really?” Jensen tucks his left arm under his head on top of the plushness of the pillow as he peers at Jared. “So all my nonsense is making some sense?”

Jared makes an unruly face down at Jensen, almost as if he'll stick his tongue out just to be a brat. “It truly isn't an easy remedy, finding a compatible mate, knotting and then having an instant gratification in acquiring a family. Just from the time I've been with you, I see exactly what it might take for Alphas to show a worthiness to you. Being your mate isn't like being mated to Terza or Duncan. And you can't just take any ole Alpha; he has to be able to prove his mettle to you. I'll be less inclined now to tease you. It's not fair to you...because it is going to be the rest of your life.”

“Thank you, Jared.” Jensen drops his gaze to stare ahead to Jared's t-shirt material. “No one's ever been able to figure me out, or cut me some slack for being picky.”

Jared doesn't accept the “thanks”, just continues in his praise, “Certain Ferae Alphas would just see your mating as a means to create offspring. You want more. Hell...you deserve more.”

Jensen doesn't know why Jared's words are making him so tickled, especially since he agrees with him and possibly even agrees that Jared can't live up to that type of Alpha-worthiness. Jensen sits upright, reaching out to touch Jared's upper chest. Green eyes watch the deeply breathing lungs, then the intricate play of muscles and tendons on Jared's neck, how the Adam's apple bobs with a hard swallow. “You're the first pack to completely understand why I am the way I am.” He gives a small side-smile, his lashing dipping demurely. “It feels...” He takes a deep breath of air. “...so free and easy, much less stressful and complicated than it is with anyone else.” Jensen tilts his head in curiosity. “I feel...urges, but they're not tantamount, like I've heard they should be if I've hit my heat.”

“You've never gone into heat, have you?” Jared frowns as he sends a hand to lift Jensen's chin. “You're still a virgin?”

Jensen tugs his head from Jared's grasp. “We should not be talking about such things, unless we're family...or about to be mated.”

“How 'bout friends?” Jared lets his arms lay spread out at his sides, hands on the cushions. He lifts an eyebrow in wild wonder at what kind of a relationship Jensen would accept with him. “Have you ever had a non-Bearer friend?”

Jensen sighs, shaking his head. “There are no Bearers close enough to my age. All the ones I grew up with are dead.”

“...jesus...” Jared raises his hand to slides fingers along the side of the neck. “The scope of your extinction, plus the Ferae Pack itself—-it's a wonder why someone hasn't come in and declared these lands a National Preserve or some kind of government-protective park. That would certainly tamp down the humans from 'hunting' or, at least make the acts committed a felony killing—-close to murder.”

Jensen reaches up to lock a hand around the forearm. “We could do that?”

Jared nods his head enthusiastically. “You would need to put together one extensive speech to plead your case in front of the state government.” He knows the exact Senators and Representatives to test the waters on in order to see who could helm the political effort. “But I bet you, with the right person helming this cause, you could get them to take notice.”

Jensen drops his gaze, knowing this question is a long-shot in having an answer he's happy with. “Would we be able to get justice for any prior senseless attacks?”

“No, most likely not. It won't be retroactive. It will only be between the time it starts and thereafter, but you can fight in honor of those slain before.” Jared starts chuckling deeply when Jensen launches at him and holds him tight. He can hear the hushed,”thankyou,thankyou,thankyou” being muttered from Jensen's lips. “...don't thank me. Not until it's actually happening.”

Jensen draws back, shaking his head as his hands shape the broad shoulder joints. “You are not of my pack, yet you—” He tilts his head to almost reach his shoulder, wondering what tricks Jared has up his sleeve. “Why do you want to help me this badly?”

“It's important to you. And—-I don't know—-whatever your life is about, or entails, if we were mated, it would become my life, too. You're not the only one to take on a new pack [ my pack ] and my way of life, I take yours as well.”

“Would that mean, if I asked it of you, you would live as Ferae?'

“IF we were mates—-hell, yes.” Jared nods his head adamantly, pretty sure he could find a way to deal, if he had Jensen beside him as his mate.

“You have such a full life on your own. A good one.” Jensen scrunches his face up, not sure he understands Jared's motives. “You would give all of that up to be mated with me?”

“With YOU—-yes, I would. In a heart beat.” Jared watches Jensen avert his gaze, then his head, heaving a huge sigh. “I don't know many Ferae Alphas, but I would take a wild guess that none of them would be willing...or capable of giving so much up for you.” He raises his arms up to make sure Jensen can “see” and hears what's coming out of his mouth. “This, in no way, makes me more appealing?”

“I have been figuring a few things out of my own.” Jensen makes some noises as he adjust himself to sit Indian-style beside Jared, facing him as he leans the left side of his body on the cushions. He watches Jared turn and slouch so he's niched into the corner of the couch, hitching his right leg up and placing the pillow down in the bend of the knee; Jared locks his left leg around his right ankle. Jensen touches his own chest, then motions toward Jared. “While you are understanding me more, I am beginning to learn—-to discover—-I may have been remiss in my thoughts as to what makes a worthy mate.” He speaks slower, making sure Jared hears what he's saying, “You have—-yes, despite the contrary—-I have been shown to be wrong in my decisiveness of all Alphas.” Jensen leans over to gently touch the bent knee. “You are the exception to every role or thought I've held. But—-I do not like seeing you showing even the slightest interest in another Beta or Omega.” 

Jared smirks, nodding his head; he can get down with that because a.) he wasn't interested in any of them in the first place and b.) Jensen is showing such a high-level of jealousy that quiet...adorable c.) and Jensen just looks way-too calm when he uses that possessive tone to his voice like Jared is nothing but a dumb-ass Alpha. “I couldn't concentrate on any of them when my head was full of nothing but you.”

Jensen visibly vibrates with Jared's words, especially when he gives him that “look”—-the look most Alphas give him that makes him cringe and feel a bit nauseous. But on Jared, it makes Jensen queasy for a whole different reason and he becomes a little hot and flustered. “I didn't like the anger I felt, more frustration, really.” He folds arms over his chest, hands grabbing for each of his biceps in his palms. “I always blamed the Alpha as they have most of the power and control, but...I had no idea the lower statuses would know how to work on a disinterested Alpha and his weaker spots.” He rests his head on the cushions to look over at Jared who has placed his right arm along the back cushions and lays his own head on his bunched biceps. “They can, and have, seduced and charmed the Alpha without provocation, am I wrong?”

“Yes and no.” It should feel weird talking about the natural sexual instinct of an Alpha with Jensen, but it feels too normal. Or maybe because Jensen is intensely curious to talk with an Alpha who's willing to tattle tale secrets. “Most Alphas aren't looking for the action every night. But boredom and needing release, a warm body for their beds...they can be persuaded into coupling—-foreplay, fucking and possibly knotting. Though that usually doesn't happen until it's a potential mate.”

“They just...fuck?” Jensen hopes he uses the right word. “No transfer of seed to the womb?” He has heard of such things happening as in some of the Ferae pleasure rooms on this side of the wall for outsiders and Ferae alike.

Jared shrugs his shoulders, letting his gaze drop. “Your Ferae Alphas may be different, since they already feel emotions intensely. They might need to knot to be less, uh...manic or violent.” He makes mini-claw-like grappling motion with his left hand to reach over and touch Jensen's leg.

“I'm so confused.” Jensen squeezes his eyes shut, patting over Jared's hand briefly as he softly bangs his head on the cushions, then he holds his head there, peeking over with only his right eye at Jared. “I feel like I'm back to knowing nothing, except my own status.”

“Call it off.” Jared allows his arm on the couch to drop and snatch at one of Jensen's hands. “Don't—-don't do it.” He's trying to pull Jensen closer to him, but Jensen tugs right back.

“I have to.” Jensen yanks hard to gain his hand back. “Now it's not about courting.” His hands are starting to shake, so he keeps rubbing them together. “It's my honor and reputation at stake.” He takes a hard swallow, darting his eyes over to Jared, but then quickly looks away. “It will be a packed room to see if this could be the moment I lose, and I'm, uh...taken.”

“Christ...when do you start training?” Jared pulls himself out of the corner to slide along the cushion so he's sitting upright to be near Jensen again. “You can't lose.” He slips his hand on one of Jensen's legs, then curls the whole limb around the lap. “Not this time. I want you to win.” He rests his head on the back cushions, twisting to look at Jensen.

“I want to win too.” Jensen lets his head fall so he drops his brow to Jared's shoulder, but doesn't touch him anywhere else. “I don't feel anything for him—-this Alpha. So I will be focused and stronger than he expects.”

Jared closes his eyes, thankful for what Jensen just said. He leans over to buss the crown of the head, inhaling the scent of the blond strands. “You should go shower.” He rubs along the meaty portion of the thigh his hand rest along. “Get ready for your dinner thing.”

Jensen turns to lay his cheek on the shoulder joint. “Consider coming with me...please.”

“I want to.” Jared sinks more to fall against Jensen's body. “I do...but they need you more than they need to see me.”

“I don't know how long I'll be with them.” Jensen scoots closer to Jared's side, almost pressing his bent right knee on Jared's thigh. “You will still wait for me, outside?” he needs to know Jared will be nearby, somewhere.

“Yes, I will.” Always. Jared clears his throat, leaning forward a bit so he can look at the feet tucked under Jensen's legs. “How are your bandages? Do they need changing?”

“No.” Jensen unfolds his legs to stretch them out off the couch; his left leg extends over Jared's lap, the thickness of his thigh so he can get a better look at them. “They are still good.”

Jared gathers both of the legs, by the calves, onto his thighs, soothing over the soft clothing to cradle each sole in his palm to give a better inspection over the feet. “When we return tonight, I'll change them for you.”

Jensen adjust a bit where he's practically sitting on Jared's lap, but, leaning more on the cushions behind him. “Can we not bandage them, for once? Leave them to the air as I sleep? I'll wear the new bandages when I'm on my feet tomorrow.”

“uh, sure, sure.” Jared nods his head a she peeks at Jensen, wondering why he started to use the “we” in his sentences; it gave him a bit of hope to think Jensen was beginning to think of them as permanent more than temporary. “We can do that.”

“All right.” Jensen reluctantly slides off the couch and stands. “I'll be back down shortly.”

“Take your time.” Jared watches Jensen closely in the way he takes more deliberate steps, trying not to hurt himself by walking on the blisters. He glances at his watch and then a clock on the wall. “It's not even 5:30 just yet,” He calls out to Jensen's retreating back as he makes sure he climbs the stairs without any difficulty.

==&&==&&==&&==

Jensen tentatively walks up to the front door; he doesn't even have to knock as it opens wide to show the Alpha and his family warmly accepting him. He turns to glance over his shoulder toward Jared who nods, waving him to go on. It becomes a much more quiet and somber atmosphere with the intimate gathering of close family, friends and pack. Jensen had known that some additions may have been taken in late, once it was heard that the Alamani would be dining at the table. It had given the widowed Alpha cause to be boastful, yet strangely humbled. Jensen spends time amongst the whole core family, hearing stories and memories. It chokes him a few times to hear how excited everyone had been for the arrival of the 'pup', and how impending motherhood had grounded the once-wild spirit of the Omega.

Jensen is shown to the private parlor, her closets and personal items, the bedroom she shared with her mate. It was another family member that had taken him through the nursery. He doesn't bother hiding the tears he has to wipe away. While the family sets the table and has the before-dinner drinks, Jensen takes the widower aside, sitting with him outdoors, allowing him to vent and rage however he had needed or hadn't been able to. While the Alpha had become angry and visibly upset, he also had known that his mate could be stubborn and willful. He should've known better than to leave her alone without some company or supervision, an extra pack member to let the humans know she was harmless. 

The only thing he truly seemed to be hung-up on was the fact she had passed on thinking he had been angry with her. They had still fought, even after their difficult courtship, but with words. His words could be scathing and hurtful. His one regret was that he had never let her know, every day, just how grateful he had been for her choosing him above all other Alphas, for loving him despite how judgmental and harsh he could be. She would often tease him that she had known that she was only his “training mate”, that there would be a deeper love, a quieter and peaceful soulmate waiting for him when he least expected it. She always had believed that she wouldn't live to an old age, that she would die in her youth at the prime of her life.

Jensen soaks all this in, equating it with his own life and experiences. He feels a bit more relaxed and content as he's able to know this Omega better—-just another casualty of pack life that could've had great potential. Jensen doesn't want to get their hopes up, but he makes a small mention of doing something “good” in honor of the widower's mate to save the lives of pack in the near future.

Meal time had arrived, Jensen finding it would turn out to be quite an uplifting, heartwarming and wonderful moment. He had seen it less for what was missing, more for what had still remained. How healing tragedy triumphs and brings hearts closer, mends broken pieces, maybe not perfectly, the way they used to be, but that there was a path or a journey toward a second chance at the life once thought impossible. He chooses to stay for dessert and coffee, but he, literally, begins to shake from the mere idea of having someone waiting for him—-Jared. Someone he had stopped visualizing at AlphaAlphaAlpha and, yes...more like a truly close confidant or even a good friend. Certainly somebody he could turn to in his hour of need.

Jensen has a rather lengthy goodbye with the whole family and pack, tingling from all the tight, warm embraces and kisses to his cheeks, and/or hands. He spends a bit more time with the widower who had left Jensen with a genuine smile of calm and peace, like because of this personal time given he would most definitely be all right.

Jared holds the rear door open for Jensen and waits for him to climb in before he shuts the door. Jensen lowers the back window, waving to the family as Jared slips back behind the wheel and drives the car away yet again to head toward the main road out of the neighborhood. As they ride along, Jensen slides to the other side in the backseat, laying a hand on Jared's shoulder. Jared picks up the “signal” of needing to pull over. Jensen gets out, then climbs in again on the passenger side, buckling himself into the seat for safety. This time, he hadn't put on his shades, but he had gone completely still, and quiet, almost numb in the moment. He's grateful Jared keeps silent and just drives on. 

Jensen sighs as he rests back, twisting his head to look at Jared's profile. He can't help pitting he and Jared in the Alpha and Omega roles, wondering how Jared would react to his senseless murder, then the loss of their 'pup. Then he switches places, thinking how devastated and gob-smacked he would be to hold Jared's lifeless, bloody body, and become stressed and fearful of figuring out how to live on with their 'pup' without his mate. It makes Jensen think of how stringent he had been in much of his life, how he had never taken a chance, going for what he truly had wanted—-knew he had needed. There is no doubt in Jensen's mind that Jared is a worthy Alpha...as well as a mate, but there is still a nibble of worry that Jared couldn't withstand Jensen's type of pack life.

Jared parks the vehicle in its usual spot, getting out to come around and open Jensen's door. And before Jensen can turn to put a foot down on the ground, Jared sweeps him into his arms like he had once before. Jensen wants to complain but shuts his mouth, tired of denying himself frivolous desires. He allows Jared to carry him all the way to his bedroom, asking to be put down, while Jared keeps refusing to do so. 

Jared opens the bedroom door one-handed, then almost throws Jensen in the mattress. Jared follows, sliding his body along Jensen's to keep him down on the bed, but not pinning him. Jensen inwardly quakes with the feel of Jared skimming over him, his intoxicating scent and intense warmth. Jensen's shaking hands reach up to hold, then tug at clothes like he wants Jared stripped naked, desperately needing the touch of skin on skin. Jensen actually growls at how difficult it is to undress Jared; his hands shaking with nerves.

“hey!hey!...ssshhh, it's okay.” Jared holds the wrists to the mattress. “I know how you're feeling.” He caresses over Jensen's flushed cheeks, using one hand to hold down both of Jensen's. “It's the first time you've let yourself feel honest about me. Don't fight it...” He places a tender hand over Jensen's frantically beating heart, hoping he can calm Jensen down. “Or rush it.” Jared soothes under the chin, down the throat over the bobbing Adam's apple. “Don't even think about the future. Think about now—-here, with me.” He points down to the bed, where they lay. “Like there's nothing but us—-you and me—-in this room, on this bed.”

Jensen is shaking his head in utter amazement and confusion. “I thought I would feel sparks. Like I would die without my mate, yet...” Now he wishes he was a bit more experienced so he wouldn't look like such a fool in front of Jared, who was ten-times more skillful in the bedroom than him. He could really use a few moments of sparring with Jared in the Gallantry ring, that's where he knew he had become more accomplished than any other Alpha.

Jared dips in and out toward Jensen's face, nudging and nipping at the bare skin, sniffing around prominent freckles like they carry a fruity-scent of something akin to strawberry. “—it feels like we've already mated. Like we are together.” His lips barely brush the flush of the cheek, murmuring the words, “...like we've knotted and you can't wash me off or get rid of my scent all over you.”

Jensen begins to shiver, quaking from the inside out. “How's that possible?” He's desperate for an answer as he cranes his head back, offering out a stretch of bare neck. “...and, if so, what does this mean?” The words are more for himself than for Jared, but he won't refuse an answer if Jared wants to give one.

 

**== &&==&&==&&==**   
**TBC...**


	7. Chapter 7

Jared tilts his head to stare down at Jensen, foregoing taking a sample of that lovely neck, but he does soothe a single finger up and down the slope. “I think you should be asking—should you act on this? If you still feel hesitant about me, then it's not our time.”

“Then what do we do?” Jensen takes a hard swallow, bringing his head back to look Jared square in the face. “I feel like I can't be parted from you, nor can I push you from my mind. If I try, I hurt, I ache...” He shapes a hand in the air above right where he ends up “hurting”. “—there's a pain in my gut, around my belly.”

Jared rubs over the sore area because he knows exactly what Jensen is talking about. “We don't have to fuck or knot to be together.” He drops his gaze to stare at Jensen's abdomen, watching as his hand spans five-fingers and then shapes the side of the ribcage on down to the waist. “There's other ways to share our bodies—in fact, we both might prefer that as any sign of your virginity having been taken might sour your, uhm...courtship-thing at the Gallantry.”

Jensen feels the moisture gather at the backs of his eyes. To think Jared would go to those lengths to protect him and keep him safe from personal harm. Denying his own pleasures—it makes Jensen want Jared even more. He would certainly reconsider Jared as a viable option to a potential mate. “You give me everything, yet keep nothing for yourself.” He's a bit upset Jared refuses to look at him so he snatches the chin between thumb and index fingers, forcing their eyes to meet. “Why?”

“I told you.” Jared wrenches his chin out of Jensen's clasp, averting his gaze to the side. “I don't want you for your ability to give me 'pups'.” Both hands now sculpt the sides of the rib cage, Jared stares down at the deeply heaving area under the shirt. He presses his forehead into the material. “I want you because I like you. I like the 'me' I am around you.” He wiggles around to lay his cheek down, settling lower on Jensen's body.

For a moment, Jensen is stunned to have Jared just cuddle him like this after such an arousing few minutes prior. “You've been in situations like this before, right?” He tries to turn his head to look down at the dark head on his chest. “And have the other Omegas succumbed easily, throwing themselves at you?”

“Stop it.” Jared shuts his lids and rubs his face in the shirt material. “Don't torture yourself with needless jealousy.”

“I am a prude compared to them, I know.” Jensen doesn't have to hear it out loud; he knows what he is or how people perceive him. 

Jared snickers, shaking his head. “You're protective of your body because of its sacredness. It's understandable.”

“I do want you.” Jensen heaves a huge sigh, unable to not pick up his hand and brush through Jared's mane of hair. It's so much softer than he expected, not to mention it smells just as good as his cologne does. “I cannot deny myself that fact any longer.”

“Good.” Jared laughs, then rubs his face again, twisting to lay on the other cheek, his arms now tucking under Jensen's body at his back. “I'm glad to hear that at least.”

Since he's unable to look at Jared, Jensen looks up at his ceiling. It's a little more of a comfort, too. “I pictured my first time differently. And, it's not even in the Gallantry ring. But, I still expect I will feel my heat—the uncontrollable urge, this building passion for my mate—the need I'd feel in being taken, the giving over of my body.”

Jared wonders if Jensen feels his body shivering from the way he openly speaks about sex around him, even though he keeps calling himself inexperienced and sort of a “prude”. “Think of this—between us—as subtler mating process. We do it all backwards. We'll eventually knot...” He adjusts off his left arm to push his face into the upper biceps; he loves the feel of Jensen under him all too much. “—after your Gallantry bout because there will never be another Alpha but me waiting in the wings for you.”

“You shouldn't want me so much.” Jensen furrows his brow as he scratches at the back of the scalp, then soothes along the nape to the space between the shoulder blades. Of course he tucks his hand under the collar of the button-down. “Why don't you just take me, huh?” He feels the deep chuckling against his body. “Rip my clothes off and throw me face-down to knot me? Do you not feel a wild, feral need to mate with me?”

“Not for lack of trying. I don't know.” Jared shrugs both shoulders, untucking one arm to lay it across Jensen's chest to then place his chin down. “I feel like you're already mine.”

“Jared...” Jensen is a little breathless with the admission.

“No, I'm serious.” Jared tilts his head to peer up at Jensen as the green eyes look down at him under lowered lashes. “I may have felt intimidated when I first set eyes on you, but...the second you fainted in my arms, I knew what I had to do for you. I knew what needed to be done. My only want, in that very moment, was to take care of you, get you better...or find someone who could if it was impossible for me to do on my own.”

“You've had moments, though, right?” Jensen hates how desperate his voice sounds in his own ears, like he has to know this for a fact or else. “Of feeling virile and wanting to take me?”

“uh, yeah, but...never without your consent.” Jared pushes off, slow-crawling backward from the bed as Jensen climbs to his elbows.

“Jared, wait...” Jensen hadn't expected Jared to simply leave his room in such a rush, but just as he drags his body fully upright on the bed and starts adjusting pillows, then working out of his clothes, Jared returns. His hands are full of the package they had been given of everything needed to change Jensen's bandages. “I thought you had—”

“—left?” Jared drops to one knee, bedside. He puts the basin of soapy water down first, then dunks a washcloth in. “Come here, sit at the edge of the bed. You can put one or both of your feet in.

Jensen can't stop smiling as he reaches out to hold onto Jared's shoulder. “You spoil me rotten.” The drawstrings of his pants are loosened, but the waistband manages to hang off his hipbones.

“No one else will. You do enough for everyone else. The little I am able to do to please you barely touches all the efforts you've accomplished over the years.” Jared shakes his head feeling a wave of heartfelt emotion pelt him hard. “The way you singlehandedly have kept your pack...your Bearers, alive alone gains you something substantial as close to miraculous as one being can get.”

Jensen turns his head away in mild shame, but he feels the need to talk to Jared about tonight. “It was good—the dinner, the conversation, the company.” He twists his head away to look off to the side. “I would've liked less 'pack' there, but I do understand that rarely do they get a chance to meet me or...they often feel that holding me, touching me, kissing my cheek or taking my hand brings them a step closer to our Creator.”

“hehehe...” Jared still has his head bowed as he talks. “—the one that's not established in a church or religion yet?”

Jensen gives off a soft laugh. “Yes, I know. Not the best way to minister or give council, but I started doing this for my own pack when I was in my teens.” He folds his arms over his bare chest, each hand grabbing for a pair of biceps. “I kept being looked at funny because they had heard I was of the High Alpha pack and by 13-15, I hadn't hit my first heat. They thought me pure and 'touched'...given a specific grace only by our Almighty, himself.”

Jared feels his jawbone tighten with a strange sense of frustration, but never toward Jensen. “Who started calling you 'The Alamani'?”

“I don't know.” Jensen shrugs one shoulder, looking down at Jared's dark head. “I think it was used one day, in passing, when I visited some homes and word had spread through the villages of my walks from family to family.” He reaches up to touch his own hair. “They love me best with my hair longer. I suppose I look more Christ-like for them.”

“Have you ever cut it short?” Jared gives a quick glance to the length of the hair as it almost touches the wide shoulders. 

“Once. I'll never do it again.” Jensen reaches out to pet through Jared's long tresses. “What about you?” He gives a nervous laugh, then a crooked smile, rubbing the strands between fingerpads.

Jared is used to people just reaching out and blindly playing with his hair, but for Jensen to do that very move...it's giving him hives and he's a little shaky about his usually coordinated movements. “At first, it was me just not making it to the groomers to take care of myself. The longer it got, the more distinguished it made me appear, until the length became kind of a sensual thing—fingers tangling in the strands, you know...using them for traction.” He dodges the swats to his body. “Hey!Hey! What?! I'm not gonna sit here and lie to your face!” He can't help but chuckle deeply, his stomach clenching and releasing; he likes to see Jensen all riled up and possessive of him.

“I don't like it!” Jensen knows he sounds like a brat, but he keeps trying to pick his feet back up and find a way to turn away from Jared. “Don't like knowing you've been with others!” He dips his head in mild shame at how he's acting.

From the floor, Jared holds up his hand, palm out. “I've never been with an Alpha Bearer...or an Alpha.” He raises a lone eyebrow in curiosity with a smirk on his lips. “Is that better?”

“No.” Jensen adds the shake of his head, then muffles into the curl of his arms across his chest. “Still doesn't make it easier to take in.”

“Good.” Jared grabs the ankles and gives the legs a small shake. “I want you to be jealous. It's healthy.” He falls to his knees, sitting on the backs of his calves. “And it lets me know how much you consider me yours.”

Jensen tingles at the word “yours”, then he plants his hands to attempt to re-situate his butt on the mattress. “You're not gonna re-bandage, are you?” He tentatively begins to pull up his right leg to dangle the foot to drip.

Jared shakes his head as he takes possession of the other foot from inside the basin and sets it down on his thigh to pat dry. “No, 'cuz I thought you wanted the blisters and sores to air-dry.”

“I do.” Jensen smiles a tiny grin because it shows Jared pays attention to him. “Just wanted to make sure you heard me.”

“I do listen, Jensen.”

“I know.” Jensen dips his head, watching Jared's hands expertly clean his feet. He's going to miss this attention once he was completely healed.

==&&==&&==&&==

Jared had sprayed the last of the sealant on each wound, about ready to say something to Jensen when he lifts his head, finding Jensen out—or at least napping lightly. He puts away the bowl and cloths, lifting Jensen's legs to fit on the mattress as he brings everything he had found in the package out of the room. In the hall bathroom, he pours the water out in the tub, placing the cloths in the communal laundry bin. He dries the basin and puts the bandage supplies inside to take the stuff back to his own room. He leaves the light on, but exits to return to Jensen's room. He finds the t-shirt and pajama bottoms Jensen had worn earlier, undressing him out of one set of clothes to put him in another, then tucks Jensen beneath his blankets, turning off lamps but leaving one on low.

Jared goes back to his room, closing the door partway. He takes off everything except his underwear and just about collapses in a heap on top of his covers. He drags over a pillow and buries his face away. He's almost completely under when he hears the creak of his bedroom door, senses the dip of his mattress and the slow crawl of a warm body huddling into his back, tangling blanket and legs with his bare legs. A single arm comes out to wrap around him from behind and a face burrows into his neck and shoulder.

“Jen, I...” 

“ssshhh...I'm only here until you fall asleep, then I'll go back to my own bed.” Jensen unwraps himself to settle the lighter blanket over Jared's body as well. “god, you're like a furnace. Are you always this warm?”

“mmm-hmm.” Jared snuggles into his pillow and the mattress, liking the added weight of Jensen on his back, the legs tangling with his, feet sliding up and down his hairy skin. “I won't be kicking you out, if you stay longer.”

“Good to know.”

Jensen never leaves the bed once, staying with Jared until late the next morning. Both of them waking to the smell of breakfast cooking. This time Jensen is flipped to his right side, Jared curling about him with his dark head on his shoulder, curious hands soothing up his naked back, under his t-shirt. Jensen rolls, pushing Jared backward as he presses his backside into the groin.

“mmm...you're frisky in the morning—my kind of wake-up call.”

Jensen immediately pulls away, sitting upright and playfully shoves at Jared's chest. “Stop making me do these things. I barely knew you 2 days ago...now—”

“Now?—what?”

“Now—I don't know. It's like you said before—feels like we mated and are together.”

Jared pouts his bottom lip. “M'sorry it's not more passionate and explosive for you.”

“...please don't apologize for that. We can't help what we feel, when we feel it.”

“If we stayed in bed longer—naked—I bet I could work both of us up to a preferable aroused state.”

“hmm—tempting, but I'm more hungry for pancakes and bacon than you...” Jensen tries to jump from the bed, but Jared pulls him back in, then yanks him toward his chest, arms crossing his front as he nibbles on Jensen's ear, then pecks tiny kisses on the side of his face and pretends to start biting out chunks to eat.

It's the first time Jensen has ever started a morning in a fit of giggles...

==&&==&&==&&==

They had mutually decided that once the funeral was over, they would head back to the Ferae Pack compound. Jared should start spending some time with Vince, Moira and little Beatrice, and Jensen should head back home to get ready to pack his bags, starting training with Duncan for their bouts in a few days. Jared had wondered if Jensen would need any help training, but Jensen had gone on to say that his practice spars went better if he only could focus on one thing. Jared had known he would be an unwise distraction for Jensen, so he didn't push the offer further.

Jared drops off the rental car, lugging his bag and one of Jensen's. They walk to the Beta/Omega side of the wall, heading right for the hospital. Jensen decides to part ways with Jared right when they reach the Emergency Room waiting area as he plans on going upstairs to visit Terza and the 'pup' again, then check on the remaining Alpha Bearers. Before they split, Jared asks Jensen if he needs any help finding a way home; Jensen tells him his house is within walking distance, and, if he did need assistance, Duncan was just a phone call away.

“So...this is really 'goodbye'?” Jared just amazed that three days together could go by so fast; he's not sure if he's ready.

“For now.” Jensen nods his head in agreement, bowing chin to chest. “Until after my bout.” He lifts his head to narrow his gaze on Jared, trying to give off an encouraging smile. “But I'm sure we'll bump into one another, if you're on this side of the wall.” He gives off a tiny grin from the corner of his mouth.

Jared doubts very much he needs to return at any time. “There's nothing for me on the Alpha side.” Other than seeing Duncan and Jensen's courtship matches.

“Good. Good.” Though he has both of his bags, Jensen can't move a single muscle.

Jared places his own bag down in a waiting room chair, then forces Jensen to sit down. “Tell me what's wrong?” He takes the chair right beside Jensen, one hand cupping the right biceps.

Jensen dips his head in shyness, mumbling into the air, “—m'afraid of what will happen once you leave me.”

Jared has to bend low in order to hear Jensen speak. “What? Like you think I'll go out on a sex binge—have wild and crazy nights of sex and debauchery?” He lets out soft laughs as he talks.

“hehehe...” Jensen shoves off Jared's hand but then he quickly grabs for the shape, squeezing the fingers. “—no, but...please don't do that.”

“Oh-kay, then, I won't.” Jared wants to laugh, but he considers this a serious request from Jensen, so he simply gives a ghost of a smile, squeezing the hand in return. “Wasn't planning on it. I'm only going back to Vince's, bug the shit out of Moira, hang out with my little nugget, Bea...”

“I should've done more.” Jensen mumbles out again, his head averted.

“—huh?” Jared knows what he heard, he wants it reiterated in a louder tone for clarification.

Jensen turns his head back around, head low but periodically peering at Jared. “I should've let you take me.”

“Jen, no...wha—?” Jared grabs for both of Jensen's arms, giving him a little shake of confidence. “You're gonna win your match. Everyone says you always win.”

“I do. Pretty much. All the time.” Jensen adamantly shakes his head. “But there's always a slim chance that scares me. I feel it all the time. No matter how confident I might be.”

Jared dips low to head toward an ear to whisper. “We could go back to your place, more than willing to start something there in your bed than here.” He side-eyes Jensen, liking the fact that he turns away and secretly smile with a flush to his cheeks.

“No, no.” Jensen reaches out to pat Jared's arm, feeling that's the safest spot he can touch. “We've already resigned to part, said 'goodbyes'. It'll be so awkward.”

“What do you want from me? What do you need?” Jared leans his left elbow on the armrest between them, his eyes intent on Jensen's face even though he can't look him in the eye. “Just tell me...” He places a calming hand on Jensen's thigh.

Jensen covers the top of that hand with his own. “Swear to me you will make an effort to see me again.” He doesn't wait for Jared's answer, and simply goes on, “They will bring me here, whether I win or not. Just to be on the safe side.”

Jared bends in to keep on talking in Jensen's ear, keeping their conversation private. “Are you making a 'date' with me?”

“Is that what I'm doing?” Jensen has to back up a few inches to look at Jared with a lift to an eyebrow.

“Yes, pretty much.” Jared has his head titled to a shoulder, smiling at Jensen. “You want me to meet you here—win or lose?”

“Eh, but...I won't be losing.”

“Exactly. And neither will I.” Jared cups the side of Jensen's neck. “Was that it? Is that all you need of me?”

“I don't know, Jared.” Jensen can't even lift his arm to knock Jared's hand away and he can't move his legs to stand and walk off. “It seems I still cannot leave you.” He's a little disturbed by this fact.

“Oh, Jen...” Jared uses his left arm to hug Jensen to his body across the chairs, letting both of them feel the other, inhaling scents and absorbing heats. He pulls away, rubbing over Jensen's back as he talks, “Tell you what...lemme go inside, find Vince, leave my bag with him and I'm come right back out.” He reaches over, behind him and grab the handles of his bag. “We'll go see Terza together—maybe we can even check on the Bearers as well, if they're still here.”

“I'm a bit tired from being on my feet all day.” Jensen doesn't know why he can't just tell Jared his feet are throbbing.

“I'll go find you a wheelchair.” Jared caresses a cheek, thumb playing along pale skin. “I don't mind pushing you around.”

Jensen is able to at least lean back in the chair with a sigh of contentment, and it's almost like a weight of tension exits his body. “So, we're going to stick this out until Vince's shift ends or Duncan gets here to pick me up.” He's not asking a question, just merely stating facts.

“You haven't asked him yet.” Jared reminds Jensen as he moves to climb to his feet.

“I'll make a call from Terza's room.” Jensen states with no confusion in the tone of his voice. It will be done.

Jared nods his head, liking the take-charge attitude Jensen shows him. “Then I'll go see how long Vince has left.”

Jensen really doesn't know what's going on with him, but with the prospect of spending a little more time with Jared, he's able to move his limbs and stand. He's doubtful that this was doing any good for him, but he's starting to wish he was more selfish and had taken exactly what he had wanted when he had been alone with Jared. Now he still has time to soak up Jared's presence before they part for a while. 

When he thinks of Jared, he also hopes he will ache and pine as well. Jensen can't wipe the ghost of a grin from his lips as he spots Jared coming out of the double doors from the Emergency Room with a wheelchair in his hands.

==&&==&&==&&==

With Jared having nothing to do for the next few days, he truly didn't mind babysitting Beatrice, which had taken her out of a normal routine, dropping her into the hands of someone her father trusted, but her mother didn't. Especially not once Moira had been told the reason for Jared's three-day disappearance. She had been pissed at Vince because he hadn't told her; Jared had confessed all, not really wanting to hide the truth. She was angry at Jared for being his typical self and trying to pursue a piece of ass he had known he would have a difficult time conquering. She still wasn't sure why he had to choose Jensen, her pack's Alamani.

In turn, Jared had been annoyed at Moira. Mainly because she had one simple idea of him as an Alpha and wouldn't let it go; he could tell her plenty of racy gossip about her own mate's wild bachelor days. Not only had she insulted Jared, but Jensen, as well, calling him “a piece of ass”. But what really turned his stomach about Moira, and even Vince, was the perception of him as a viable mate, a worthy Alpha, simply stemming from their idea of him as a bachelor and living in the city and the fast-paced lifestyle they thought he led. Like he wasn't allowed to change his mind once he had found someone he would want to mate with—to build a world around them, sharing a life together. He had some inkling they thought him too weak to even be a perfect mate for Jensen. Jared was more hurt by that assumption than anything else. It was why he had been spending most of his time with Beatrice. Someone who didn't prejudge, go all self-righteous on him or expect too much.

Almost four days since he had seen Jensen, Jared was surprisingly calm, if not a little on-edge, partly excitable and fearful for Jensen. Tonight would be the courtship bout. Yet, tonight, he had a “date” with Jensen he didn't want to miss—win or lose. Jared would make certain he was there. For Jensen. For all those seconds, minutes and hours spent apart. He never once thought of anyone but Jensen. More importantly, he wondered how Jensen was doing. Was he sleeping okay? Were the blisters all but gone? Jared even worried that Jensen was getting enough to eat and drink. It wasn't madness as much as Jared coming to grips that this was no ordinary desire for a mate; this was, quite possibly, the real thing.

He hefts a slumbering Beatrice in his arms, opening the back door to step outside for some fresh air. Holding the 'pup' in his arms made him think of Jensen, moving beyond this point into a future where the 'pup' he held was theirs together and the house behind him was their own. Jared cups the back of Beatrice's head, kissing the top as he let his cheek rest down on the blonde curls. 

Inside the house, several pairs of eyes watch Jared in the backyard.

Vince lets the curtain fall back in place. “I'm not doing this anymore.” He has to step away from the sight beyond the window, tucking hands in his trouser pockets as he wanders off, rubbing at his chin. “I thought it would get better, but it's actually worse.”

“He's the one choosing to be childish.” Moira turns from the view, arms crossing to rest on her slight belly bump. “Giving us the cold shoulder these last two days.” Her gaze averts briefly, fully aware that it's mostly for her, and Vince is trapped in her web by default.

“Can you blame him?” Vince twists around, his hand stuck in a partial rub over his cheek as he stares at Moira. “You attacked his pride, his very character.” He lifts an eyebrow in perplexity. “Do you expect him not to react like he's been gut-punched? You forget...” He hates how often he has to reiterate this for his mate. “He's my only family, and I am his, as well. You don't 'quit' that just because you mate out of pack.” He turns his head to mumble, “At least I don't.”

“He can't—” Moira untucks her hands only to swiftly grab for her slim biceps, soothing along her short sleeves. “I won't tolerate him pursuing the Alamani, if that's what his intentions are.”

Vince walks over to the thick armrest of one of the two couches in the room, both hands disappearing in his pockets, nearly forming fists to contain rage. “He's not a God, Moira. Jensen didn't ask for this title you Ferae have given him.” Since he has no use of his hands, he talks by movement of his head, shifting from side to side, gesturing here and there. “You all flock...an' you covet and you adore, you stare in awe and you give importance to every word he says—” He takes a pause to inhale a deep breath. “But at his core...he's pack. He's no different than you or I.” Vince motions to his chest, then toward Moira, letting his hand fall to his thigh to rub. “He deserves a helluva lot more credit than everyone gives him.”

Moira is no longer interested in watching Jared through the window; he looks too...comfortable standing there, holding her daughter and looking as if nothing and no one could touch him. She hates those who put forth no effort, and still will get everything they want and then some. “Do you know what it will do to my pack to have an Alpha—and outsider—like Jared soil the sacredness of the Alamani has had since—well, since he hit puberty?”

“And there you go again.” Vince makes a fist with his left hand, pounding down on his thigh. He shakes his head at what he's hearing coming out of his mate's mouth, whom he loves so dearly. He's never been able to understand her quarrel with Jared. “I used to think Jared was crazy, telling me you hated him. Now...” Vince snortles out a hard laugh through nostrils. “I'm beginning to see he might have been right all along.”

Moira's not even going to acknowledge what Vince said as she strolls across the room, keeping her back half-turned to her mate, like she can't look at him directly, only over a tiny shoulder. “He's a bad influence on you, Vince.”

“Hey...” Vince outright laughs, both hands now on his thighs as he threads fingers together. “—it wasn't that long ago I was exactly where Jared is.” He looks away to stare down at the floor and furrow his brow in deep thought. “In fact, I was probably worse. At least he treats his conquests with some sensitivity and respect, though his opinions on some of the lower statuses have been a bit outdated.” He's always wondered if it was possible Moira overheard something Jared said or maybe Jared had inadvertently let something slip that stung his mate's pride.

“It's different.” Moira doesn't know how to explain Vince's past indiscretions being swiped clean and Jared still niggles at her brain. “You are you and Jared...” She makes it to the wide archway from the room they're in to the hallway. “—well, who the hell knows who he pretends to be.” She leans on the archway molding, resting her bottom on her hands that she crosses at her back.

“You're wrong.” Vince is adamantly shaking his head in complete disagreement. “Sorry.” He slaps palms to his thighs, making a loud snapping sound that makes Moira flinch and drop her chin to her chest. “There! I said it! Out loud, to your face!” He knows he's being a bit of a douche, but he's tired of being roped into Moira's thoughts when he has his own. “I genuinely believe that once an Alpha finds a true mate, all else is erased.” Vince pushes off the couch armrest to walk toward his mate. “Your Ferae Alphas might run a little off-kilter, but for some, there's a fundamental change that comes over them. Some embrace being tamed or made docile, others hang on with every last grip they can.” To stress his point, he forms a fist with his left hand, making the shape around his mid-sternum, then points to himself. “If you ever once stepped in my shoes, saw what I see every day going on with your pack's precious Alphas...” Vince points into the air, off in the distance to wherever the Ferae Pack compound is located. “—Jared would feel less of a threat to you.”

“I'm not threatened by him.” Moira slips her hands out from under her to start fidgeting with her blouse. “I just don't want him to seduce and break the Alamani's heart.”

There is a loud creak of hinges and the hard slam of a wooden door. 

“His name is 'Jensen'. Jensen Ackles. He's 27 yrs old.” Jared strolls in at yet another use of the word “Alamani”. “He's 27yrs old...and still remains pure and innocent as he was at puberty.” He rocks Beatrice in his arms, feeling her wiggle to be set free. “Never had a heat. Never known the intimate touch of a lover.” He plans to carry the 'pup' to a certain spot and let her go, so she can run as far away from this gathering of adults as possible.

“Stop!” Moira holds up a hand, the other goes to her mouth as if to stop nausea. “Don't!”

Jared holds up one index finger. “One day! One single day with him... and I figured him all out.” He chuckles to himself, quite proud of his accomplishment because it usually takes him a few tries to get it right the first time. Nowhere in his social-sexual life had he ever had a second date. Never. Or has he seen the same pack twice. “I understand why he saves himself for that one Alpha. Why he sacrifices his very sanity for The Ferae.”

Vince clears his throat, walking to settle in between his brother and his mate. “Jared, she didn't mean—”

“No, I think she does mean.” Jared allows Beatrice to drop on her feet and scurry away. “It's clear to me what Moira's meant to say to me all this time.” He lets a weird creepy smile slide over his lips as he stares at Moira's averted head. He places his hands at the points of his hips, making gestures with his chin to Vince but unable to look away from Moira. “Show me where the nearest boarding house is, I'll get my things and get outta your hair.”

“Jared, no...” Hand up to place on Jared's chest, palm flat, Vince wanders over to his brother to calm the waters. “I'm not—”

Jared closes the space between he and Vince, clamping hands on the broad shoulders. “I've not been fair to you, letting you lead your life, while I keep trying to drag you down with me.” He dips his eyes to catch Vince's gaze. “Like you'd suddenly leave your mate to come back to bachelorhood with me.” He snorts out a harsh snicker, shaking his head. “We knew this was inevitable and maybe Moira is right in some aspects.” Jared quickly moves on before he has to hear the noises Moira always makes under her throat whenever he has the floor to talk. “We do need to be apart for a while, because I have no idea what's about to happen to me.” He takes his hands away, but leaves the right hand to pat on the slope of the shoulder, then cups the neck. “And, yes, with Jensen. The further you're away from me, the less flack will fall on you.” Jared gives a light pat to Vince's cheek, twisting away to head toward the basement door to pack his clothes.

Vince is more deft at grabbing at Jared's forearm. “You feel something for him? For Jensen...don't you?” His gaze is intense on Jared's features, trying to read facial ticks and signs.

Jared simply nods his head, letting out a soft, tiny smile. “This is new for me, so I'm probably doing everything wrong.” He takes Vince's hand and removes the hard latch onto his forearm, gives the hand a squeeze and lets go. “But it's like I told you, he couldn't leave my side, I couldn't leave his.” He rests his hands on his hips again, shaking his head as he looks down, pinching his lips together with two fingers. “It wasn't sparks as much as a warm, intimate comfort. He fought me, but in the end...he felt familiarity between us. Like we'd already mated, we were mates...and this—” He circles his hand in the air, then around himself to mean what had happened between them being inexplicable and all-encompassing. “That time we spent together—was our life together.”

“...jesus...” Vince swallows with some difficulty because he's never heard such conviction come out of his brother Alpha that hadn't been sugar-coated with trying to “sell” him an idea or the new flavor of political candidate. He realizes, all too quickly, that he's never truly seen Jared in love. “I've never heard of that—ever.”

Jared nods his head in agreement, then gives off a laugh, swiping his hand in the air. “I chalk it up to Jensen being an usual and challenging pack member. Why wouldn't it be, when finding his mate, he'd never go the typical route?” He pulls at the shirt over his chest, like he's overheating and needs to let air breathe through the fabric. “I know enough to want to know more. And, shockingly...” He knows Vince will get a kick out of this admission. “—I like who I am when I'm with him.”

“Even when you act 'whipped'?” Vince is only mocking what Jared's teased him about since mating with Moira.

Jared chuckles, nodding his head as he swipes a hand over his face, then slides it around to rub at his neck, then nape. “Yeah, even when I find myself on my knees washing his feet.” He lets his hand rest on his neck so he has somewhere to rest his head off to the side.

Vince crosses his arms, grabbing on to his elbow joints. “You two had an intense few days together.” He narrows his gaze again to read Jared's face as he speaks.

Jared finds he needs to walk away, eyes watchful of how Moira seems to be trying not to look at him or Vince, but still appears to be listening. Where she stands in the archway, he goes to the opposite side and leans on the wall to stare directly at her almost as if what he says is for her alone. “I didn't mind it one bit, though.” He alternates between looking at Vince and then Moira, seeing that she sneaks looks at him as well. “I know what he's like at his weakest, and when I'm there he needs me.” He gets a bit of a shake in his voice as he recalls nobody ever genuinely needing him, only on some superficial level that went with his job. “I've never been THAT needed before just for being me—not Alpha, but me...” Jared pats down on his chest, between his pecs. “—Jared.”

“Moira...” Vince can tell Jared is going to fall into some kind of emotional caving, and he doesn't want her to witness it and abuse the level of vulnerability Jared is sharing with them. “...take Bea and go to the kitchen.” It's an off-hand request, with no inflection of voice, but his mate takes it as being a demand of her.

“No. I'm not going to just—” Moira shuts up once she sees the look of determination on her mate's face. She scrambles to follow where her daughter is playing in another room in the distance. “Excuse me.”

Vince waits until Moira is out of earshot. “—and don't you dare pack one fucking bag.” He reaches out to clamp a hand on Jared's shoulder. “I've allowed her to run rampant over me and this house for too long. But on this, I can't help but feel how wrong she and her pack are.” He's squeezing the shoulder right above the heart, able to feel its strong, frantic beats. There's a wrinkling of Jared's brow that shows him how susceptible his emotions are to cracking or breaking. “I've worked beside Jensen for quite some time, and he is as you say—unique and bewildering, but he is so much like us.” He's comforted by Jared's easy grin, always some idea that his brother Alpha is okay as long as he laughs or smiles genuinely. “Not only as Alpha, but as a man. Even despite what makes him a Bearer, he is still very much a male Alpha.”

Jared nods his head in agreement, but then adds, “They all are.” He folds his arms, tucking his hands away as he leans back on the wall. “Let's not short change his efforts to make sure they don't go by unnoticed.”

“For once, why don't we not refer to him as the Alamani or whomever they've crowned him to be.” Vince motions between he and Jared's chests. “To us, he's Jensen. And to you, he's a potential mate.” He can see Jared's body sag with relief. “I only want to know one more thing.” He keeps eyes on the floor, scraping the toe of his shoe around.

“What?” Jared lifts his chin high, ready to be asked any question.

“I need you to be as honest as you can.” Vince tilts his head to side-eye Jared once he starts to ask his question, “Do you think you could love him?” He shakes his hand in the air to make a shape off to the side. “Not that worshipful crap the Ferae do, but could you fall in love with him, if given the chance?”

“mmm—honest as I can?” Jared brings out one hand to rub at his chin, then scratch under, along his throat as he drops his eyes to finally meet Vince's gaze head-on. “Does it count if I already think I'm halfway to falling?”

“Eh, I think it does.” Vince smirks as he secures an arm around Jared, pulling him to his side as he pats hard onto the chest wall. “Welcome to maturity, brother.”

==&&==&&==&&== 

The Alpha Bearers were still in the training facility, following a routine on the day of their Gallantry bouts. They had spent much of the early morning exercising, then by mid-morning to early afternoon, they were in mock sparring scenarios with each other; they became playful and tussling with a bit of an odd recall into their 'pup' years. After lunch came the choosing of their swaths of cloths that would wrap their genitals and bottoms from full view. Once the material was chosen, they moved on to mock training scenarios where they would wrestle a neutered Beta, who was the size of their own potential mate. They had an early evening meal that was light and wouldn't sit heavy on their stomachs. They took quick showers to wash off sweat, then had gone into the ceremonial grooming portion.

Here, all body hair was shaved off that wasn't on their heads or their pubic areas; a few took the option of being trimmed or clean-shaven around their genitals. For their hair, some had asked for a slight trim to their longer strands, others just asked for a different style that would keep their bangs from their eyes. There was one who had liked going with a more natural look, which was his prerogative.

After the grooming, they were given the full treatment of an all-over body massage to take away aches and pains, to loosen muscles and relieve stress to relax them. Again, each was given a neutered Beta masseuse whose main task was to do everything needed to spurn the Bearer to a state of sensual euphoria, where they would want to enter the ring and, once scenting their courting Alpha, would find a better outcome if they wanted to be mated, losing their bout.

There are four Alpha Bearers in this round tonight: Jensen, Duncan, and fraternal twins, Farrack and Fessick. Each had entered their massage cubicles at the same time, but no one had the same mind-set to take the rub-down as it was meant. Jensen and Farrack were almost on the same wavelength, but for different reasons; Duncan and Fessick had continued to hold in tension, becoming skittish at being touched intimately while naked under a single towel covering their mid-section and groin area.

Jensen had known he shouldn't, but as the unfamiliar hands of the Beta had rubbed over him, he had taken his mind elsewhere, putting himself in a sensual scene where he was getting his feet washed as he stood totally naked in an old wash basin, but then the wet hands holding a soaked cloth would scrub up his calves to his knees. There were kisses and licks to his thighs, making him quiver where he was standing—immovable. The hulking frame at his side had risen, towering over him, showing him how helpless and small he was in comparison, then the hand with the cloth had washed his cock, barely skimming the folds of his birth canal. In his fantasy, his eyes shot open, staring directly at a broad bare shoulder with a dark hairy chest. He had shut his eyes as he had felt the skim of a single fingertip caress his folds, then give a slight flick to his clitoris. He nearly came instantly, once he reached out, holding on to the massive biceps, burying his face in the muscular chest wall.

Right away, Jensen knew his mystery lover's identity: the faceless man who would haunt his dreams and fantasies of late. Only one name breathed past his parting lips as he ejaculated, not just from cocktip but from secretions he had held in, enough slick to ooze from his body, dripping onto the table surface.

The immediate clean-up and washing off of his body from the mess he makes brings him back to an indifferent reality. One he had hated waking to—no Jared. The female Beta tending to him is attractive, but to her he's just another client. She knows he's the Alamani, but right now, he looks like all the other Bearers entering the Gallantry. He quietly sits up, feeling wobbly in his legs, then simply settles on the side of his table. His towel and robe have been set aside for him to dress in. Jensen will get to his feet shortly, but he needs to equalize his body's balance. He can hear the sounds from the other cubicles, even to the one Farrack is in as he starts to yowl and growls out his own release as he, too, has finally reached a pleasant orgasm.

“—god-damn! You're good!” There is a hearty laugh and a whirlwind of yelping. “Woo! Wish I could hire you to do this at my home permanently!”

Jensen chuckles—typical Farrack, he thinks as he slides down to put on slippers and don the thick terry-cloth robe. Once he loosely ties the belt around his waist, he carries the towel with him, taking the steps down to the seating area where they're being plied with fingers foods and plenty of beverages to drink up liquid courage. Farrack out did himself this time, using a catering firm that obviously knew every culinary secret of all four Bearers: what they loved, what they need to energize after all their activity, and even what they had liked from their childhoods. Jensen loves to come to Farrack's home because it truly is geared more for an Alpha Bearer and there's every amenity that they need in order to train, spar and prepare for their Gallantry bouts. It feels like a home away from home, and what he enjoys most is rooming with other Bearers for however many days they've arranged to train.

Jensen pours a tall glass of iced fruit juice for himself when Farrack approaches from behind. He sweeps Jensen up, locking both beefy arms around Jensen's biceps, lifting him off the ground and kissing the patch of neck he can see. 

Farrack's excitement for the day of the Gallantry is infectious. Farrack Azul is about as large and feisty—pure Alpha—-as Bearers can get. He is 6ft 7, all straining muscles and tendons, black-haired and almost too beautiful to call him handsome. It was amazing that there are two of him, and that Fessick is a complete opposite except in appearance.

Jensen smiles more when Farrack is around and he sees less gloom and doom ahead for their encroaching matches. “You feel good?”

“I feel...energized.” Farrack raises arms to make fists in the air, then shakes them as he growls, then rubs his belly. “Like I could go ten bouts with ten Alphas and walk out of the ring with ten cloths.”

Jensen gives a quick snap of his head to gesture toward Fessick. “And your brother?” His gaze briefly darts to Fessick's cubicle in the distance.

“Fess is...” Farrack bows his head, munching on the food in his hand. “—don't know if I should say this or not.”

“What?” Jensen raises a lone eyebrow as he watches Farrack trail behind him while he fills a plate with food.

Farrack's been munching all day, so he's not going to eat until his brother does. “It could be nothing.” He shrugs a shoulder, unsure why he's nervous tonight, of all nights. Maybe because it's the first time his brother has been in the ring. “But, you know how my brother gets when the fears eat away at him.”

“Visions again?”

“No—no.” Farrack shakes his head, snatching up a tall glass to fill. “Just...an overwhelming sense of dread. More so than usual.” He walks over to the carafe of a mixed beverage he'd been told he should try.

From Duncan's cubicle comes a yelp and a long wail. Jensen is on alert as he places a hand on Farrack, setting his glass down. “Not bein' rude, but I have to go to him.”

“I understand.” Farrack brings the rim of the glass to his bottom lip. “Go—go!” He waves Jensen away as he takes a huge gulp, then swallows to yell at Jensen's back. “I'll be doing much the same for Fess, I'm sure.”

Jensen quickly climbs the wide steps again, situating himself at the head of Duncan's massage table. He sees how blood-red the cock has become, how Duncan concaves his abdominals to show how hard he struggles to not release. “He's shy.” Jensen smiles weakly at the male Beta who looks about as emotional as a wooden pole; neutered pack are generally less inclined to enjoy life and pretty much suck all joy of a single moment. But, they do their jobs and they do satisfy clients. “He's never released in full view before.” He nears Duncan's blond head slowly, making sure to touch first before he allows his brother Bearer to see his face looming above. “—ssshhh, ssshhh...” Jensen soothes over the bare upper chest.

“Jen-sen...” Duncan calls out, tilting his head back to notice the familiar face. “...m'sorry...” He isn't even aware he's leaking tears that fall back into his slick hair.

“—ssshhh, don't be.” Jensen presses his lips to Duncan's brow, skimming across the hairline as he combs back the wet hair. “Sadly, Farrack and I are old Bearers who've had too many bouts.” He speaks into an ear. “We know this routine well.”

“I feel it.” Duncan gives out a nervous smile, cheeks twitching just because he's never had another person in the room with him whenever he's touched himself. “The urge to let go, but...”

“—you're scared of what it makes your body do.” Jensen rests his face upside down on Duncan's flushed cheek. “It's natural—not just the orgasm but the fear.” He deeply massages the scalp, lightly scratching. “The moment you let your body go. Let yourself feel the intensity, it's a rush one can't explain; the euphoria is unimaginable.”

“I've touched myself but I never—” Duncan finds it rather euphoric and surreal to feel Jensen caress him, nudge him all the while he feels the building release inside his body. He knows how close they are, like brothers, but they've never been intimate. He has understood that there have been moments where Jensen has gone into other Bearers' beds and helped them through certain difficulties in their private lives inside bedrooms. Never has Jensen needed to come to his aide, except now.

“—ssshhh...I've lived with you long enough to know this.” Jensen smiles against the warm skin, pressing a kiss or two before he looks down as he brushes through lighter blond strands than his own. “You've always been so different from all the Bearers I've known. You actually hold your releases as sacred for your Alpha.” He cups the top of Duncan's head to come around the left side of the table so he can look at his brother Bearer directly, take a hand and not disturb the Beta at work on the right. “You want to be completely pure and clean for him.” After linking their hands, palm to palm, he kisses the top skin to then press their bond to his face. “But trust me, this is a tradition that will not haunt you, win or lose. Your Alpha won't hold the act of betrayal against you, if you come this once before he sees you. Your scent will be more enticing for him, he'll weaken on sight—your heat? Scorching. His skin will burn on contact...”

“mmm...” Duncan stretches arms above his head, holding onto the top of the table. “...ohgod...” This time, when he feels the sensations course through, he lets go as best he can. “...yeah-yes!...yeahyeahyeah...” Duncan arcs his back off the table as he draws legs in to plant his heels. He comes hard and in jolts, his body spasming as he secretes the slick from his own folds and dampens the sheet he lays on. The Beta unclamps around the thick shaft, taking away the oval vibrator that had been placed on Duncan's clit. Even as he's intimately washed, scrubbed down and left alone with Jensen, he still twitches from the orgasm.

Jensen lets Duncan's hand, and arm, go, watching his brother Bearer curl to his side and draw legs to his chest. He rubs a hand just on a shoulder. “Don't feel ashamed, Duncan.”

“I don't.” Laying on his left side, Duncan mumbles into the cushioned surface. “I can't believe how good that felt—” He finally lets out his breathes in spurts, some laughter escaping too. “All that time worrying...” He starts to blink slow while talking to himself in a hushed tone. “—thinking Alpha would make me more berserk.”

Jensen finds he has room to hitch a leg up and sit on the table; he bumps against Duncan's body, trying to keep skin contact. “Eh, sometimes—when the heat hits, you'll feel like you will die without his cock and knot in you.”

“mmm.” Duncan shoots a glance toward Jensen over his shoulder, with a wry grin. “Now I know why. Will he make me do that each time?'' He goes back to laying his cheek on the cushion and sheet he's on, trying to get his body back to normal.

Jensen lightly scratches over the naked back. “That depends on you and how much you want your Alpha in return.'

“He's so big—bigger than me.” Duncan rises to his elbows, while on his stomach, the towel still hides his groin area from view. “Does that mean his cock will be—?”

Jensen knows how Duncan covets modesty, so he pulls the towel in different directions to keep the nudity covered. “No, but it would be shocking if he wasn't proportional.” He looms above to place his right hand down on the table on the opposite side of Duncan's body. “I know you've looked at his crotch a few times.”

“Oh...” Duncan snorts, then proceeds to bury his face in his arms in shame, maybe some guilt. “...you saw that?''

“Yes. There is no need to fear it or him.” Jensen tilts his head to peer down at Duncan, using his left hand to continue massaging over the curve of the spine. Duncan no longer shivers, but keeps shutting lids and deeply sighing in contentment. It's tough for Jensen to get a true read on his brother Bearer and how he will sustain himself in his bout tonight. “I will be very interested in knowing how your Alpha treats you in the ring.”

“He's so quiet, and strong...an' handsome.” Duncan folds his arms under his head, making a cradle to lay on. “I don't know why he has chosen me.” He slowly rolls onto his back, pulling the towel over his sore cock and slightly tingling canal folds. He tries to sit upright, to sit on the right side of the table. Jensen is right there for him, guiding him to not fall over. Duncan weakly drags over his own robe. “I feel like a pot of limp noodles.”

Jensen moves off the table to walk around, then shuffles over to help Duncan put on the robe, one sleeve at a time. “It's your body adjusting after your release.” Though the robe material bunches around where Duncan's sits on his backside, Jensen still closes the lapels to hide the genital area. “Give yourself a few minutes to gather strength.”

Duncan dips his head, weakly scratching at his scalp, fully aware of how spiky his blond strands have gone around his face. “Jen...”

“mmm-hmm?” Jensen snatches the towel and begins to fold it over and over to make a perfectly neat stack for Duncan to carry.

“I thought of him—” Duncan clears his throat, hesitating to lock eyes with Jensen. “My Alpha—touching me how that Beta was.”

“Stop.” Jensen drops the towel on the table, then raises his hand, palm out to get Duncan to keep silent. “Before you even try to excuse or apologize. Let me say...” He uses that same hand to make a sweeping gesture to his own chest. “I was thinking of someone too.”

“You were?” Duncan is so startled he chokes on saliva as he swallows. “Who? Not your courting Alpha?” He hates this new Alpha that had been courting Jensen: pretty to look at, sure, but just...nah, all wrong for Jensen. For any Bearer, really.

“No.” Jensen shakes his head, then makes a sour face of disgust. “Oh, god no. I thought of Jared.”

Duncan gives out a small smile. “You really like him, huh?” He has been hoping this was the case.

“I have to admit that I do.” Jensen glances down, then nods his head, pausing to take a few steps backward. “What has it been—4 days?” He folds arms over his chest. “Could be less, but he's still there.” Two fingers from his left hand press into his temple. “Ingrained in my mind. Not as a memory but as a...truth.”

“Could he be yours?” Duncan keeps his head bowed, unsure how Jensen will take being asked these silly questions. “Your true mate?”

“Is that possible?” Jensen has often wondered what the Bearers he surrounds himself think of him mating. “I mean...for me? And that I'd find him not amongst my own, but outside?”

“What is it you fear most?” Duncan crosses his ankles, starting to swing his legs to get blood flowing in them again. “What High Alpha will do to you? Or what will be done to Jared once you give in to your needs?”

“Without question, I'm looking to keep Jared safe.” Jensen ventures back over to the table, laying a hand down on the top of the towel. “If anyone receives the brunt of my decision's fallout, it shall be me.”

“What if there is none?” Duncan stares down at his lap, cracking his neck and rolling his shoulders. “A fallout, I mean?”

Jensen is a bit stunned to find that someone close to him, that has known him for years, shares a thought with Jared, who has only known him three days. “You agree with Jared? That my father Alpha will not care, since he hasn't cared in years?”

“He is still young for a High Alpha.” Duncan brings out his hands to start counting down the list. “He isn't ill, nor has any medical issues. He isn't worried you could try to dethrone him, taking your birthright.” He flashes his hands out toward Jensen not knowing what more he expects to show him this fact is real.

“If High Alpha does pass on, the throne will be Joshua's position to have, not mine.” Jensen is still a little unsettled that Duncan and Jared share a similar thought without knowing one another. “Besides, do you really think Ferae Alphas will bow down and obey an Alpha Bearer?” He snorts out with a laugh, scratching at his clean-shaven cheek.

Duncan grips the edge of the table on either side of his legs. “Some already do, Jensen.” He uncrosses his ankles, about ready to jump down and test if he can stand.

“hehehe, yeah.” Jensen snaps as he turns to lean on the table, crosses arms. “The ones who domesticate for their mates. I would rather stay on this side of the wall and remain as I am.”

“The Alamani?” Duncan forces out a harsh chuckle, lifting an eyebrow in bewilderment. He can't fathom that Jensen will remain as such all his young life, with no sign of taking a mate or having at least one 'pup'. “This is what you want for your future?” He has seen signs of Jensen's smooth veneer slipping, of actually coveting what he thinks he can't have just because he's been made a savior to his pack, close to a God-like figure.

“No—what I want is—”

Out of the cooling evening setting comes a cry, “FARRRRRAAACCCKKK!!”

Duncan's eyes go wide with concern, glancing over his shoulder, catching sight of Farrack's mad dash to go to his twin's side. He quickly twists to stare at Jensen with a slight frown marring his handsome features. “What's wrong with Fessick?”

 

**== &&==&&==&&==**   
**TBC...**


	8. Chapter 8

Jensen places a comforting hand on Duncan's thigh. “Same as what was wrong with you, brother.” He steps closer to Duncan to start thinking about helping him off the table. “With Fessick's mental state, he needs a little more coaxing into his release.”

Duncan shakes his head, not sure he understands any of this strange business with Fessick Azul. “Why do they make Fess come to the Gallantry to fight his Alpha?” He's not making any kind of judgment on the mentally diminished Bearer, he's quite fond of Fessick. “He is so much slower and unaware of his surroundings. Does he even know what this whole ritual means?”

“You've only just met him.” Jensen offers out his forearm for Duncan to hold, then they will both ease him down off the table. “Farrack has been the dutiful older brother to his twin and kept him safe. Not locked away, but protected from outside harm.” As the hand clamps around the muscles, Jensen covers the hand to give it a pat. “Fessick is more aware than one thinks. It will take patience to get him to understand, but he will eventually. Especially if Farrack is there to help.”

“It seems cruel to make him bout with his Alpha.” Duncan easily slides off, feet landing on the floor, but he still feels faint, so he leans back for a brief time. His hand clenches on Jensen's forearm as the other reaches back to hold onto the table. “What would happen to him if he should lose?”

“Fessick won't lose. I promise you.” Jensen gives Duncan a smile of assurance. He's been through too many training days with Farrack to not see the awesome potential in his younger brother. It seems cruel to deny the Bearer the right to a normal life, so both Farrack and Jensen had been patient, waiting for the right time of the season and the right willing courting Alpha, not to mention Fessick showing some interest, as well, to bring him forefront and out of hiding. “Wrestling is his favorite thing. And he's even better at it than I am. I learn new moves from him every time I train here with them.”

Duncan is familiar with some of the tales Jensen has shared over the years, hearing this name thrown about a few times. “Is Fessick the one who always spar-trains with him?”

Jensen nods his head, now trying to have Duncan stand fully upright, and see if he can take a few steps forward. “It's more playful and loving, but they train daily, working out in between bouts to keep their bodies in top shape.”

Duncan looks down at his own muscular body, reaching out to touch one of Jensen's newly thicker pecs through the open lapels of the robe. “Our Alphas won't even recognize us. We look like Ferae Alphas.” It surprised him when Jensen had told him they would look very different from their normal physiques in a few days. He had no idea how drastic a change that meant.

Jensen snorts out laugh, letting Duncan curl his arm through an elbow as he escorts him out of the cubicle, toward the wide steps and then down to wander through the sitting area of the patio deck. “We're allowed to gain weight and go a little flabby in between our courtships. We won't need this type of body once we start to carry.”

“Is it true?” Duncan bumps against Jensen's side as they walk together to the long table of drink and food. “Can breeding happen that quickly?”

“Yes, not gonna lie.”

Duncan gives out a shiver, his memory recall harkening back to only a few minutes ago. “Is it wrong of me to wish it that way for myself, so my Alpha doesn't have to keep needing me?” 

“Duncan...” Jensen lets go of Duncan's arm to turn him and shape his warm cheek. “...tha's just your fear talking again. You might actually like the way it makes you feel.”

Duncan nods his head in agreement, his eyes going wide at some of his favorite eats on display. “I did like the release, but I don't know about what happens to get to that place.”

A loud cry erupts and a series of echoing whimpers follows as Jensen smiles. “You should make yourself a plate or two, then sit out here and have some replenishing drink and a meal of good vitamins and minerals before we head to the baths.” 

“mmm...” Duncan had been admiring the stretch of fine foods on display as he had settled into his cubicle an hour ago. “I do feel the need to munch on a few items I see.”

Jensen trails behind Duncan, but he pauses to watch Farrack cradle his little brother in the distance. Fessick shivers and huddles into the muscular chest; Jensen pats Duncan on the back, making an excuse to leave for some time. Jensen wanders over, immediately, he begins to brush through Fessick's curly dark hair. “I envy your soul-bond. It's very apparent how deeply connected he is to you.”

“He almost died for me in the womb. ” Farrack's eyes are red-rimmed and wet with shed tears. “I would've been an only 'pup' had he not been born after me.” He dips his head into Jensen's hand that cups his square jawbone.

Jensen snatches for a small towel to wipe over Farrack's face. “I think you have made it up to him, more than you know.” He clamps a massive shoulder in his palm. “You have cared for him well.”

“He's actually excited for this match.” Farrack allows an easy smile to slip out as he stares down at his brother who has closed his eyes, looking as if he slumbers quietly. He folds his hand to brush fingers lightly over Fessick's flushed cheek, bending low to buss the skin with his lips, then he takes the towel Jensen offers to wipe away perspiration. “He truly likes the Alpha, though, I—”

“What?” Jensen narrows his gaze.

Farrack sighs, lowering his arms a bit to adjust the added weight against his chest. “I cannot help but think this Alpha means to have 'me' in some way.”

Jensen furrows his brow in curiosity. “Didn't you have a prior bout against this Alpha?”

“Yes. It was a difficult match.” Farrack makes a face of concern, but only for the fact that he could possibly lose Fessick tonight. “I almost succumbed; he had a, uhm...maddening way about him.” Holding his brother in one arm, he scratches at the side of his nose with the other hand, sniffling.

“Don't they all?” Jensen snorts out a soft laugh to keep things lighthearted, but he realizes that Farrack is in a place of authentic worry and concern. “You think he wants a chance at Fess to still be close to you?”

“Yes, but...” Farrack swishes his head form side to side, shrugging one shoulder.

“But—-what?” Jensen furrows his brow as he crosses arms over his chest.

Farrack gives a brief flash of his eyes down at his brother, then clears his voice to lower his tone. “I can't be certain, but I think Fess remembers him from the loss. It was one of my first bouts at the Gallantry.” He motions his hand to encompass not just himself and Fessick, but everyone involved. “We're all older now and—-I'm almost sure he has a deep interest he's desperate to emit, but I'm not sure of the Alpha's intentions.”

“You both are fighting with different Alphas tonight?''

“Yes.” Farrack nods his head, gesturing to his own chest, then rest the hand on his brother's evenly breathing one. “I will go first and then they will allow me to watch Fess ring-side.”

“What—-to help him?” Jensen has never seen the Ferae willing to cater to an Alpha Bearer before, allowing a fellow pack to “help” him out, but then again, most know the Azul brothers as they've gained a positive reputation.

“Encourage him. If he hears and sees me, then he'll know that he has to be vigilant and stronger to win.”

“I'm glad they'll do that for you.” Jensen glances at Duncan. “I wish I could be there for Duncan.”

Farrack wrinkles his brow as he follows Jensen's gaze to the younger Bearer. “Is he talkin' gibberish again?” He lifts up one side of his mouth in mirth.

Jensen drops his gaze to the floor below where he stands. “He's getting more curious about if he loses.”

“Never a good sign.” Farrack shakes his head, heaving a sigh.

Jensen lowers his arms to cross them at his back as he keeps talking with head bowed. “I do want him mated and happy, having 'pups' of his own, but—-like you—-I cannot tell just how this Alpha feels about him.”

Farrack nods his head in agreement as he narrows his eyes. “They get sneakier in their abilities to make themselves seem like a worthy Alpha and then become an utter animal in the ring. Or they're playing at being mysterious and dashing, brood a few hours, so, of course, the Bearer is attracted and wants to know more. To feel he can conquer that type of Ferae Alpha.”

Jensen lets a smile grow wide on his face, feeling a chuckle grumble low in his belly. “I think they're secretly learning how to overtly 'best' us without even stepping once into the ring.”

“God!” Farrack throws his head back in a loud roaring laugh, then slaps his thigh. “Who knew Alphas could be that clever.”

Farrack and Jensen share a few snickers, then make their way over to the couches and loungers. Farrack carries Fessick the entire way toward a chaise lounge, placing him down. He gets up, walking over to the long table, gathering plates of food and a few drinks to then bump his brother over so he can sit at his side. Farrack feeds Fessick and has him drink from a straw as he gains back strength and equilibrium. When he is able to hold the tall glass, Fessick scoots farther over to make room; they sit side by side, practically glued at the hip and shoulder meshing shoulder. 

All four Bearers joke and laugh, tease and talk before they will be escorted to the bathing area. 

Fessick seems more interested in eating and dozing against his twin. It's clear that Fessick adores his brother as he leans on him, sharing secret smiles and winks, snickering and caressing bare skin.

Jensen never thinks anything more about the brothers, but he certainly notices how Duncan cannot look away, nor the expression he exudes from his face. 

On the way into the building that held the baths, Jensen bumps Duncan's side. “Talk to me, brother. What's on your mind?”

“Oh, you know me and my crazy, wacked-out theories.” Duncan doesn't want to step on any toes, but he's a bit unsettled by his own thoughts.

“About what?”

“Them.” Duncan motions with a tilt of his head toward the twins.

“Farrack and Fessick?” Jensen glances at them as they're wandering in first, then wrinkles his brow in wild wonder. “What about them?”

“I'm not unfamiliar with twins. I've been around them before, but this is the first time I've wondered just how loving and intimate they appear.”

Jensen watches the brothers disrobe, and while Farrack practically melts into the hot springs, Fessick hesitates, almost tiptoeing until Farrack wanders back out to pounce, playfully dragging his little brother into the stream. They dunk for three seconds and then Fessick clings high on Farrack's body, sputtering water everywhere. Of course both men were naked, and Farrack had to cling harder to the strong spread of thighs fitting around him. Fessick hooks an arm about his older brother's neck, which brings Farrack close to nuzzling and nibbling on the drenched skin. 

Jensen can see where Duncan is coming from—-the twins act very sensually with one another, almost too intimate as if they were lovers. “I wouldn't care if they were or weren't.” He shrugs both shoulders in nonchalance. “Honestly, that's their bond and connection, how they show their love for one another. I envy them...” He pauses as he sinks into deep thought. “—well, I envy Fessick because he has someone who loves and wants him, is glad he's alive. So many of us Bearers are born to only childhoods, but others...” Jensen takes a hard swallow as he uses his own life as an example. “...have passels and litters of siblings, yet the pack want nothing to do with them.”

“Yes, yes...m'sorry, Jen.” Duncan nods his head, bowing in shame at his silly thoughts, especially making them known out loud. “You are right. Farrack keeps Fessick sane and functioning.”

They enter the arched doorway, crossing the threshold to advance on a separate building that houses a series of steam baths and wading pools. They walk to the edge of their own bathing area, each taking a step or two apart so they can contemplate how to enter the evaporating water.

Jensen can tell that Duncan is ashamed of his closed-minded thought and he wants to assure his brother Bearer that it's okay to feel a certain way and to have a line or morals for yourself. But he does want to make certain that while he may have boundaries he will never cross there are Ferae pack out their who cannot draw those lines for themselves; they pull and draw from the much-needed affection where they find it. “But the deeper meaning is how Fessick gives Farrack purpose and loves him unconditionally. They will always have someone at their side 'til their death. No one can take that from them.”

“...wow...” Duncan is disquieted by that well-thought out explanation, leaving it to the Alamani to make him think twice about certain things. “I do see it differently when you put it that way. I feel bad for what I thought I saw, not what's actually there. I have often wished for a brother or sister.” He reaches the edge of the tile that drops to the bath, where the water laps over his feet. “I've often wished we could be blood brothers.”

“We are, in a roundabout way.”

“You would tend to me?” Duncan smirks, looking over his shoulder to Jensen. “You would care for me?...die for me?”

“In a heartbeat.” Jensen disrobes, stepping down to submerge slowly into the steaming water. He floats around to face Duncan. “You comin' in? It's quite nice.” He waves his arms back and forth to keep afloat.

Duncan quickly disrobes and sinks, actually able to walk on flat feet toward Jensen and grabs an arm. “Don't say something like that then walk away.” He's quick to release the arm only because he knows that Jensen often doesn't like to be freely touched; he wants to initiate, remain in control so emotions don't get out of hand.

Jensen stops floating, rising out of the water to stand to his own two feet. “I thought you knew this.”

“I did. I do, but...” Duncan gives furtive glances to Jensen, backing up a step or two. “...not in that way. So assured and final.”

Jensen tilts his head in curiosity, lifting an eyebrow. “Do you not feel the same toward me?” He often ponders just how far some Alpha Bearers would go for him.

“Jen...” Duncan wades over, taking a long swallow as he contemplates what will happen once he cups Jensen's neck, then touches his face. It all seems fine as Jensen doesn't move one facial muscle, but then again, he has witnessed calm turn into fury quite a few times. “I will never understand why you chose me. How you plucked me out of other Bearers and took me in, gave me shelter, gave me good food and company. Or why you opened your heart to me like no other has.”

Jensen bows his head, shrugs a shoulder. “You were me. I saw every bit of myself in you when I found you. I couldn't let you go.” He shakes his head, averting his gaze to the side. “I still can't.” He gives out a soft smile, feeling his lips twitch with some deeper emotion and the backs of his eyes ache with unshed tears. “I'm not fathoming you're old enough now to enter the Gallantry and pick your own Alpha. I still see the 'cub' in you I will always love.” Jensen has often seen Bearers leave his side and vanish into their new packs; he will occasionally bump into them and they will look at him with stars in their eyes as if he singlehandedly saved their lives. Duncan is the first Bearer he's raised since before puberty hit and slowly watched him grow into the man he is now. It's going to hit him harder than it's ever hit him before, to lose Duncan.

“Oh, Jen...” Duncan laugh lightly, his voice shaking a bit with emotion. “...this is surely not the Alamani speaking to me.” While he doesn't mind the ministering and the plethora of sage advice Jensen gives him, it's the glimpse of the true self that Duncan wishes for more of.

“No.” Jensen shakes his head as he soothes over his own chest. “This is me, laid bare and open to you.” He opens his arms in the water, floating over to grab onto Duncan's biceps and squeezing them. “I feel like bundling you up and taking you back home, keeping you safe and protected from all these Big Bad Alphas.”

Duncan wants that too, because he's scared of what's to come. Jensen keeps telling him, but then again, Jensen always wins his fights, so he doesn't truly know what it's like to lose and be taken. “They may be Ferae, but they aren't all Big or Bad.” He's facing the worst dilemma of having to take away the loyalty and trust he's had for years in Jensen then freely hand it over to his courting mate.

“I know. I am shocked I've not warped you into my way of thinking.” Jensen truly is amazed that after all these years Duncan isn't more like him.

“Tell me, honestly...” Duncan looks around them as if he thinks people are eavesdropping. “Is my Alpha one of the good ones? Do you get anything off him in the way that he will be with me?” He keeps his voice low because he isn't sure it's good or bad form to ask these questions, like having a “cheat sheet” on his Alpha. “Not talking about words or rituals he does, but—-have you seen him do something uniquely him, to show he has the slightest bit of interest in me?”

Jensen chuckles with the shake of his head, swallowing as he looks away. He gestures with his head to show Duncan to float toward a side where they can sit in the water. There's an area of the bath where it's a step-down, with a wide enough girth to sit on and relax.

“Come now, brother, tell me.” Duncan takes a seat with a bit of a tremble in his body; he's excited to hear a bit more about his Alpha. “You've got me all tingly and curious. I know how you drag me over for these side-chats.”

Jensen leans back with both elbows on the tile edge, then begins as he stares ahead, periodically glancing over at Duncan, “I caught him staring a few times. Briefly, but for him—-it was profound. He has a way of smiling, lifting half his face. I think he finds you have a good sense of humor or he likes what you ramble on about. He touched the small of your back one time; he startled you, but the way you moved toward him—-he played with the ends of your hair, brought his head close to sniff your scent.” As he talks, he's been using his hands to “mock” the images he recalls, so his hand is still in the air as he repeated what the Alpha had looked like, then twists his head to look at Duncan. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“oh my god! Where the hell was I?” Duncan lifts an arm, hand slapping into the water. “I mean, this all sounds so yummy and, yet...I got none of that feeling at all.” He shakes his head, feeling stupid for continuing to be fearful and always distancing himself before he swallowed the fear and just did something about it. Now his courting Alpha probably thought he wasn't even interested. “No wonder he's been so cool and collected since our last meeting.”

“He seemed distracted. Don't hold that against him.” Jensen sits upright again, letting the hot water soothe his aching muscles and tendons.

Duncan is still shaking his head in amazement. “Wow, you really do your chaperoning duty. I just thought you were there to make sure he and I didn't go buck-wild, pouncing on one another if we felt the urge.”

Jensen snickers out a hard laugh, then raises eyebrows. “Do you? I mean, do you feel anything when he's near?'

“He scares me, but then, I'm scared of most things.” Duncan sniffles out a laugh of his own. “He excites me in a different way than other Alphas. I am curious to know more. I just—”

“What?''

“I wish it wasn't this big show in front of the public. I know it's Ferae—-our pack, but I would love to have more time to be alone with him, see how he really is without the others watching us.”

“That's what being mated is for.” Jensen realizes that most of the new generation of Bearers wishes for things to be different, but tradition and ritual is what keeps them thriving and relevant, or else they would waste away and Betas and Omegas would snatch up every Alpha from them. They had to prove their own worth to find a niche in their world or get lost in the shuffle. “The taking of your purity and knotting you, possible creating a life inside of you...that happens first, but at least you know who your Alpha is at his core. How he treats you when being intimate is how he will always treat you.”

“I don't wanna lose.”

“Then don't.”

Duncan nods, but flashes a look to Jensen under lowered lashes. “I'm frightened that if I do, you'll be angry with me.”

Jensen made a face of concern, but understood that he can be intimidating, even to those closest to him. “You truly won't know how you feel until you're facing him, Duncan. You have to scent him, feel his heat, let your body absorb him to make certain he is really meant to be yours. I believe he will do all that he can to win you, make no mistake.” He reaches out to clamp a strong hand on Duncan's shoulder. “I cannot be angry at you for letting go of what your body wants or needs. Only your Alpha can give you that satisfaction.”

“...man, now I really wish I did have a 'Farrack' of my own.”

Jensen knows that Duncan can never let a moment go by without some lightness and fun. He felt like truly enjoying that moment with Duncan, because no one knew if he'd ever get the chance again. “What?! Why do I not suffice?! All that he did was do this—!”

Jensen proceeds to grab Duncan and wrestle him underwater, all the while sputtering laughter as they both sunk like anchors.

==&&==&&==&&==

Jared feels a little bit over dressed in his expensive, tailored suit as he accompanies Vince to the Ferae Pack arena. They drive over in Vince's car, able to park close to the actual stonework stadium as they're now considered “employees” of the arena staff. Vince wears his badge as Physician and Jared had no qualms about wearing the Medic badge Vince had squared away for him. Vince will drop Jared off at the box seats, so Jared prepares for outdoor sections secluded from all other spectators—-something like what would be in a human baseball stadium. What Vince never clarifies is that the “box seats” are actually inside a VIP suite set-up for the doctors: two huge-ass rooms with ridiculous amenities.

You can watch the Gridiron from a plush auditorium seating room through an entire wall of glass or, you could go into the next room over, that has a small kitchen, a wet bar and an entertainment unit with close-circuit TV hooked up. There's a nice 70-inch Plasma monitor bolted to the wall at a slant, placed in front of the relaxed living room setting.

Jared gives Vince a curious glare of “What the fuck?” and they seem to be the first to arrive. Next comes Christian Kane who has brought his mate, Steve Carlson, and an interning doctor from the Alpha-side, Aldis Hodge. Aldis mentions that Chad Murray and Katie Cassidy will be showing as well. That would be every one of the doctor staff, but then would come the nurses and true “medics”. Pretty soon the VIP suite is bustling with loud conversation and raucous laughter. Jared doesn't mean to be a sourpuss but he eagerly picks up the cool LCD remote control tablet, beginning to show how adept he is at current technology. He sits in a cushioned leather chair, ankle crossed over a knee, jacket off with sleeves rolled up and tie askew. He has the tablet on the span of his lap, using the thin stylus attached to utilize the touchscreen capabilities.

They open the double doors between the two spacious rooms so everybody can wander freely between each one. Since the Gridiron battles would begin first, the majority of pack are out near the glass window, waiting for the arena lights to turn on to illuminate the dirt floor that mimics the old gladiator arenas. The Ferae take pride in their Norse heritage, using flags and tapestries, family crests with shields to display their ancestry. There is more of a “show” being put on than just what will come out of the Alpha battles.

Jared's fine sticking by himself, occasionally catching Vince as he mingles with his co-workers. He's able to notice some peculiarities to the close circuit TV, when he had dug around enough he found that they had turned some preliminary cameras on to the Gallantry. It was dark, just like the bigger arena, but still as fascinating to catch sight of: the octagonal cage, the floor covering of various colors to the Ferae Pack, several flags of the High Alpha families, especially the royal line. As Jared begins to delve deeper into the hard files on the tablet, he's able to locate “live” feed cameras that have been set-up in the training area and in the private dressing rooms. It's a minefield of views which, once Jared had arranged “preferences”, he can put up the screen view of nearly six cameras.

Not a single one holds an image of Jensen yet or any of the other Bearers. Jared keeps the screen on, getting up to grab a beer and see what kind of food situation is going to happen in the kitchenette. On his quest to quell his hunger, but not too heavy because of his nerves being shot at seeing Jensen again, he gets stuck behind the wet bar, making mixed drinks and pouring out beers on tap. Dammit—-his suit makes him look too much like a bartender. But it ends up being quite handy with the 70-inch screen just over yonder; he has the perfect view above everyone's heads. He does bust over and snag his beer bottle and the remote tablet, then slides back behind the bar counter, watching all six cameras while he hears the music playing from the stereo in both rooms.

Of the many pack who filter back and forth between rooms, it's Christian's mate, Steve, who sticks around the most, then eventually ends up sitting at the bar, milking a beer from tap. Jared starts to notice him after a while, then gravitates toward the end of the counter top.

“I could freshen that up for you.” Jared notices the foam has gone flat and dried on the sides; the beer itself looks like a warm piss-yellow.

“Nah, two's my limit.” Steve has one arm bent, leaning his cheek on the hand. “I still gotta stay sober enough to show my face, if need be.”

“Oh, yeah...understand.” Jared holds out a hand over the bar. “Steve, right?” He's disarmed by the soft side-smile, coupling with the strong grip of pure Ferae Alpha. 

Steve waves being overlooked away as he gestures with his thumb toward the nearby room. “It's a bit like an after-thought when you're mated to a pack member as gregarious as Chris can be.”

“But that's what makes the mating work.” Jared nods his head in agreement, but also adds, “You're his ground when he needs to fly.”

Steve is disquieted by Jared's words. “Wow, uh...yeah, pretty much.” He nods his head in agreement as he sits back on his bar stool, staring down at the counter. “I deal with all types of Alphas every day. It gets to be that when I'm not here working, pulling apart dumbfucks and mending fences, I just kind of wanna chill and wind down.” He chops his hands equally in several directions as he talks, then brings it all together toward him. “I do my shtick for Chris for a bit, then once he becomes the circle of attention—-sometimes the life of the party—-I tend to disappear into the woodwork.” He closes his lids and heaves a huge sigh. “I want so bad to be left alone”

“Sorry, man” Jared holds hands out in his defense, starting to move away to return to the opposite end of the counter.

“No, no...you're good.” Steven blindly reaches out, tapping the bar. “Stay here.” He hurriedly points into the next room with his head, so no one knows he's talking about them. “I meant those out there who tend to hang on his every word.”

Jared raises both eyebrows, as he tilts his head, smirking from one side of his mouth. “Well, I would be out there with them, if I didn't have so much on my mind at the moment.”

“hehehe...” Steven softly chuckles as he glances over his shoulder to check to see if anyone is watching them. “I know it cliché but the whole bartender/lonely guy at bar thing, but I am a great listener.” He swishes his hand from side to side. “I have been known to give some shitty advice so...you have been warned.”

“Not a problem.” Jared snorts out a laugh, tucking his hands under his armpits so only his thumbs stick out. “Maybe it's just best I not say anything. Right now it's in my head, not put out on front of me and someone listening to me vent.”

“I take it this dilemma is unexpected.” Steve leans his head on his hand again, looking pensive and thoughtful.

“Very. And not really a dilemma 'cuz I know what I want. It's what I'm allowed to have that frustrates me.”

“ahhh, you've met someone—” Steven can tell what's wrong right away. “—someone of the Ferae.”

Jared raises one index finger into the air, shaking it. “And not just someone. If course, with my luck he had to be the unattainable one. The one I'm not allowed to have.” He shakes his head, bowing in sadness. “I started with such promise. My usual MO, you know—-wear 'em down until they beg to be yours.”

“uh-huh? And?” Steve lifts a lone eyebrow in inquiry.

Jared places a hand on his chest and rubs tenderly, like it hurts or aches. “I don't have the best track record with conquests, nor is my reputation great as the reel-them-in-catch-'em-briefly-and-then-throw-them-back Alpha.” Both he and Steve shared a hearty chuckle on that one, but once Jared turns serious, so does Steve. “I'm with him a few minutes that spawn onto hours, then days, and now I'm the one feeling 'caught', about to be thrown back in.”

“You're completely gone for him?” It's plain obvious for Steve to notice, but then again, he's a rare form of Ferae Alpha who isn't much like the purebloods.

“Irrevocably so.” Jared groans as he swipes a hand over his face, then combs back his mane of dark locks. “Everyone expects me to do with him like I've done before, but I can't. It's impossible.” He makes a tight fist and keeps it close to his heart, right on his chest. “I can't do it without hurting myself. But it's tough to maintain the confidence when I have it coming toward me from all sides, and then he—” He motions his hand outward, arm extended, like he's pointing to wherever Jensen is, in retrospect. “—well, I would hope that over the last few times we've been in one another's company, his mind has changed. It's still in that framework of at least letting me in to get to know me.”

“God...” Steve shakes his head, not envying Jared in the least. “My empathy is at an all-time high for you.” Christian had mentioned he would like, and probably get along with, Jared; he finds he likes the Alpha more and more. “You really do have a lot on your mind.”

“I'm not usually like this.” Jared makes sure Steve can see his eyes clearly as he tries to convey he's not as crazed as he sounds. “Any other time I know what to do, then just get it done.” He starts to rubs along his tie, tucking it into the space of two button slots. “But I have to take things slower than I'm used to or I screw it up for him, and me—-but mostly for him.”

There's a bit of a bustle: some talk being raised about the “Alamani” from the other room that filters into the next room. 

Jared glances up, then over to the display on the monitor of the six camera angles. Steve spins on his stool to watch the television screen as well as everybody piling into the room. Jared notices one of the cameras starting to shake and the view flips into a different lens on the move. He grabs the remote tablet, switching to only display this one particular camera as what is projected on-screen shows the back shot of the last in the throng of Ferae pack already ahead of the camera lens.

Christian breaks away from those he had been conversing with to wander over, standing behind his mate. His hand is on Steve's opposite shoulder, but then slides to clamp on the nape under the lengthy dirty blond hair. “I wondered where you'd gone off to.”

“Can't go far.” Steve bumps his shoulder into Christina's side. “Besides, I was having a wonderful discussion with Jared.”

“What's going on?” Jared lifts his chin toward Christian. “Why was there some mention of the Alamani?”

“He's arrived for his bout, along with the three other Alpha Bearers.” Christian gestures with his hand toward the TV screen, bending to Steve's ear. “4 bouts, man!

“That is such a fuckin' rarity.” Steve shakes his head in bewilderment. He never knows exactly what's going on in the smaller arena, only the Gridiron. “Do we even know the line-up?” He asks as he sips at his dwindling beer.

One of the random nurses turns to supply an answer. “I know Farrack Azul and Duncan Kagan are with the Alamani.”

“Holy shit!! Farrack Azul!?! I love that kid!”  
“Goodness gracious, maybe I should've put down some money this round.”  
“Duncan?! Are you sure?”  
“Sweet, little baby-faced Duncan? The one who taxis pack back and forth?”  
“Tha's the one.”  
“And he's old enough to enter the Gallantry?”  
“He has been for quite some time.”  
“Sheesh! Fuck me...where have I been?”

Jared is barely listening to the verbal exchanges echoing around the room as he watches the screen like a hawk for any sign of Jensen. As his eyes are firmly locking on, he moves to the end of the bar, leaning forward on elbows and then...the camera lens breaks through, finally able to zoom in on the four Alpha Bearers who will be going into the ring today. 

They were being made to “pose” for pictures as flashes are going off around them.

“Hooooolllyyy ssshhhiiittt...” Jared's eyes go wide at the sight of Duncan and Jensen.

The two massive Bearers standing behind them Jared doesn't recognize, although he does pick up on them being twins. But the appearances of Duncan and Jensen's shaved bare chests, glistening with a light sheen of body oil keep giving him heart palpitations. They're seated but it's obvious they are garbed just like the Bearer twins behind them.

“Is THAT Duncan?!?”  
“What are you saying? Check out the Hottie tha's our Alamani!!”  
“I know, but...okay, yeah, he does look bulkier from his last bout. But Dunc—-he's...christ, he's mouth-watering.”  
“Is Farrack actually letting his little brother fight?”  
“Wait! Don't tell me tha's Fessick?!”  
“Yeah, uh...dude, they're twins.”  
“How did I not know this?! AND...he has curly hair! I fuckin' love curly hair!”

There was a round of high and bellowing laughter and then a influx of garbled conversations breaking out in between smaller groups of people, then a few randoms voices echoed loudest...

“I am seriously on my way to Hell.”  
“What? Why?”  
“This might be the first time I've found the Alamani completely, and totally...fuckable...”  
“Blasphemer!!”

Jared situates himself from behind the bar, unable to take his eyes off how different Jensen looks since he last saw him. Whomever said Jensen was “fuckable” wasn't lying. Jared feels his body react in a way he had never felt before. He won't mind being dominated, and losing, to Jensen in order to feel the power that beautiful strong muscular body generated. Of course, THIS Jensen wouldn't lose his bout, but the one Jared had been with four days ago may not have had a chance.

On-screen, Jensen stands...and everyone in the TV room takes in a collective breath as the Bearer shows off more of his half-naked body, but then approaches the spectating crowd to bend and lift out a little 'pup' who had been unable to see him from over every adult pack members' and the cubs' heads. He held the young girl to his chest, speaking directly to her, right in an ear. He gets her to stop looking so frightened of him and his fellow brethren, wiping away tears with his swathed hand; he makes her giggle and hold him tighter around the neck. There is a collective “aww” flowing around the room as Jensen carries her to meet Duncan and the twins. Even in Jensen's arms, she still has to crane her tiny neck to look up at Farrack and Fessick.

Jared is fascinated by the breadth and width of Jensen's frame. The way the blond hair is wet and slicked backward from his brow, curling about nape and neck, to the ceremonial colors from shoulder to shoulder worn on the upper chest to mark pack crest. The hands are wrapped from mid-forearm and left their fingertips uncovered. As always, their genitals and buttocks are carefully swathed in their chosen colors; it looks more skirt-like than similar to a pair of briefs. From the mid-thigh to muscular calves, the feet are bare but they are wrapped just like their hands: from mid-calf, around the ankle and to the arch of their feet. They wore no other adornments for fear the courting Alpha might pull or snag on any additional objects to injure Bearers in their favor.

He's so caught up in staring, possibly outright drooling, he never even pays attention that Jensen has just given a rather lengthy piece of monologue, like one of his mini-sermons when he's ministering to families and packs.

“...we shall see all of you at the Gallantry. Peace be with you.” Jensen does some type of hand gesture over the heads of the crowd of media and on-lookers, then he motions something above his heart, kissing his hand to throw out his fingers, like he's spreading what he does into the ether.

“Wait—-what?...what did he just do?”  
“I don't know, but whatever it was, it was personal.”

The camera lens that had once been on Jensen and the other Bearers is now on a bottled-blonde female dressed in a two piece business suit and high heels. She looks as out of place in the back locker rooms and training spaces of the Ferae as a whore in church.

“oh!My God! Is that—-shit, tha's Cady Kate. Isn't she from ESPN?”  
“It can't be.”  
“Doesn't she usually cover Were-cat events? Why do they have her slumming down here amongst the Ferae?”  
“Hold on! Hold on! I just got another 'tweet'...seems like the High Alphas recently bought themselves a network.”  
“What network? ESPN?”  
“No, man...get this—-ESPN 4 : The Fourth Sect. Dude, it's gonna broadcast The Grid AND The Gallantry worldwide.”  
“How's that possible? They won't even allow the human public to physically come here to watch the Gallantry because of the gratuitous sex and violence.”  
“Eh, maybe tha's the whole point. The draw on television.”  
“Okay, I tweeted back to my friend. He says they, uh...will be putting some disclaimer up before each bout. It's High Alpha's channel so he has agreed to comply with FCC rules on air—-after 10pm kinda bullshit.”  
“Well...we never do get to see much of the mating either. Only from the visible camera angles on the cage itself.”  
“Maybe with ESPN 4's creation, they finally have the budget for more cameras.”  
“But why Cady Kate, huh? A Were-cat amongst Were-wolves? Is she trying to prove something?”  
“Hey, a job is a job. I may not enjoy working on Ferae Alphas all the time, but the money they pay me to work in the infirmaries, I'd whore myself too.”

Jared returns to grab the remote tablet. He minimizes the live-action cameras then has the main screen switch from close-circuit to actual satellite coverage. He brings up a TV schedule on the LCD screen and looks for the Sports channel section. There's a good selection of ESPNs and he hits the one marked ESPN 4...and it was like being back home in the City, watching an human sporting event. 

There is hype and flash, a desk-full of sport commentators who have been hired to watch the Gridiron and, possibly, the Gallantry. There are, maybe, five or six minutes left before the gridiron starts. Most are exiting the TV room, leaving Jared with Steve, Christian and Vince.

“You're such a Pro at that thing.” Vince walks over to Jared, curling a hand around broad shoulders. “I don't believe any of us know how to use it properly. I think we've broken two since we've been coming to this place.” He takes a quick sip of his wine.

Jared shrugs one shoulder, keeping his head bowed. “It's easy, only if you're familiar with the technology.”

“Which is right up your alley, huh?” Vince gives Jared's shoulders a squeeze before he pulls away. He keeps opening his mouth to speak, but Jared looks so concentrated elsewhere.

“Yeah...” Jared still quakes a bit from seeing Jensen like that on television.

“Man, I'm sorry.” Vince bends in to Soothe up and down Jared's biceps. “I should've warned you that he'd bulk and grow muscles for this thing.”

Jared snorts out a hard laugh, only because he has such a different frame of reference in how Jensen might look come the day of his courting fight. “I thought he be training for wrestling. This is pretty serious shit for them to change their entire physiques that drastically.”

“They still maintain their frame.” Vince clears his throat at another swallow of wine. “Easier to go off their stricter diets and step out of going to the gym every day during downtime.” He starts pointing with index and middle finger tot he screens within the large 70-inch screen. “The twins, Farrack and Fessick, look like that all the damn time, but...their appearances belie their character.” He shakes his head with a wide grin on his face at a memory. “Two of the sweetest Alphas you'd ever wanna meet.”

“...sorry...” Jared playfully pats Vince on the shoulder as he pouts out his bottom lip. “I could barely see anything—-anyone else, really—-except Jensen.”

Vince gives a secret smile as he puts the rim of the wine glass to his lips. “Not difficult to see why.”

Jared twists his head to stare off into the distance, recalling every small, minuscule detail about Jensen that hit all his pleasure buttons. “He was already beautiful before, now he's just fuckin' drop-dead gorgeous.” Not to mention it was just so fucking good to see Jensen alive, well and healthy and even more ethereal that he had been when he was sickly and bed-ridden.

Vince furrows his brow in deep thought, certain that there was a solid reason behind why Jensen changed his training regimen. “This look is way-more different than I'm used to.” He playfully elbows Jared's side, dipping his head to connect with Jared's darting gaze. “He must really want to win.”

Jared rolls his eyes and shoves Vince away. “Don't tease me. My heart's, literally, in my throat.”

Vince notices how Jared's hand shakes a little when he uses that tiny pen do-hickey on the flat screen. “Did you see what he did there—-at the end?”

“mmm—-no...what?” Jared swiftly lifts his head, narrowing his gaze on Vince.

Vince puts up a hand, palm out, setting his wine glass on the counter as it's empty and he may want a refill. “Don't hold me to this. I could be reading too much into what I saw, but I think it was meant for you, brother.” He reaches out to give a soft pat to Jared's flushed cheek.

“Me?! Wait...wha—?” Now Jared was even more confused because he didn't remember that part at all, but had heard a few people mention it. “What did he do?” He looks from Vince to Steve and Christian down the end of the bar as they've been listening in on the conversation a little bit.

Christian breaks away from his mate to step to Vince's side. “You talkin' 'bout the sign language he used?”

“Is that what that was?” Vince turns to Christian, making a long-arm reach over the counter to snatch a wine bottle. “I thought it might be an old Ferae way of communicating.” He unpops the cork and pours out only half a glass for himself; he'll sip at this one as well.

Christian tips his bottle forward. “Jensen taught himself ASL years ago. Just like learning another country's language.”

“...jesus.” Vince shakes his head at what an incredible mind Jensen had on him, yet still he kept managing to look like he could do a bit of everything. “Anyone understand what he signed?”

Christian shakes his head, taking a swig of his beer. “All I saw was him trace the 'J' on his chest.” He lets his eyes zero on Jared's face, watching as the thought registers on his features.

Steve climbs off his stool and wanders down. “That was for you, wasn't it, Jared?”

“Could have been.” Jared knows it was, but he's not going to publicly admit it in front of these Alphas. “I may not be the only 'J' he knows.”

Vince can tell that Jared is keeping it secret about the time he spent with Jensen. “—but you would be the only one on his mind if, say, he went a different route with his training to bulk up so he'd be assured a bona fide win tonight.”

“Oh, man...wait...” Christian stops, looks to Steve and Vince, then directly at Jared. “When the hell did you have an opportunity to be with the Alamani?”

Jared shakes his head, clearing his throat. “His name is 'Jensen'...an' I met him as Jensen, not this great and powerful Alamani.” He sweeps his hand in mid-air like he says, “great and powerful Oz”, which got him a few random snickers.

“He let you near him?” Christian stares at Jared in shock, jaw nearly on the floor.

“He had no choice.” Jared bounces his head once as he averts his gaze, then turns his head away to glance down at the LCD screen.

Christian stares at Vince hard. “How in the hell did you manage to keep this from me, Vin?”

“Easily.” Vince shrugs his shoulder, taking a first sip of his wine. “If I pretended it didn't happen, I don't have to hear it from Moira.”

Christian places a hand on his cheek, still stunned beyond words as he shakes his head, then rolls his eyes. “Eh, the female Ferae treat him like he's their own. Precious and somewhat pious or pure-as-the-driven-snow...however they need their dreamboat Jesus-figure to be.”

“It didn't start out this bad.” Jared comes out to speak for Jensen since he's not hear to stand up for himself. “Jensen only wanted to do good and comfort those in need. He still does.”

Christian looses his enthusiasm as he can hear Jared coming to Jensen's defense. “Man, oh, man...so, what's he like one-on-one?” He steps close to Jared, tapping the hand that holds his beer against Jared's arm, hoping to get something juicy to pass around the hospital. “More Alpha or Omega?”

“C'mon...let's go into the other room and leave Jared alone.” Vince steers Christian away and slaps Steve on the back. “We'll see you in there.”

“yeah, uh...save me a seat.” Steve waits until they are out of earshot. “Sorry 'bout that. Had I known it was the Alam-uhm, Jensen you have feelings for...” He corrects himself about halfway, wishing to apologize for Christian's need for rumors and gossip to make himself stand-out.

“No, no...it's okay.” Jared can see that Steve is genuinely apologetic; he pats his hand on the broad shoulder. “I never planned on feeling this way.” He shakes his head and turns to face the bar, resting the remote tablet on the counter. “Thought he'd be just another conquest like all those others, but he's—-as a man, he's still such an enigma but that's what makes him attractive to me.” He laughs lightly, taking a side-glance toward Steve and notices how intensely he's being watched. “Never thought I'd like the not-knowing who will come at me every minute. I was able to like and appreciate all the parts of him. Even the pieces that aren't easy to focus on. You can tell he's been severely hurt and traumatized. His worst flaw is how he'll put his shit in the background to tend to someone else. The pain and agony he suffers alone, away from all his Ferae...” Jared folds his arms on the counter, staring down at the LCD screen. “—you all have no idea how much more he goes through just to function the next day.”

Steve pulls up close to the bar to keep their conversation just between them, leaning over to speak in Jared's direction. “I knew he'd be that way. It's an old Alpha trick, which makes our status, uh...pretty much repressed in anger and pent-up tension.” He takes a hard swallow, knowing that he doesn't reveal this kind of private information to just anybody; he must really like Jared. “I watched my gran'father and my own father rain down a controlled violence on their mates and their offspring. It's why I chose to be different. I lead a much healthier and saner life because I broke the cycle.”

Jared is happy to have a Ferae Alpha on his side, curious to asking as many questions as he can. “Did you intentionally mate with an Alpha outside of your pack because you wanted a mate who could kick your ass if you tried to bust his?”

Steve chuckles, raising his glass to Jared. “No, but I like your theory. I was already this way when I met Chris.” He swallows the last of his beer, setting the empty mug on the counter, pushing it toward the other side.

“It's good? You're happy?”

“I am, but...” Steve grabs onto the bar ledge, shaking his head from side to side. “Chris is getting restless again.”

“Oh...” Jared stands upright to twist and then leans on his left side on the counter. He interested in knowing what Steve meant.

Steve turns to face Jared, leaning on his right, then using his left hand to talk with. “See, he wants 'pups'. He knows he can't get them from me.”

“You don't wanna share him with an Omega?” Jared can understand that. He's never been into multiple mates, though he knows some older packs still practice the ritual, and now even newer spiritual packs in the City try to incorporate old traditions to harken back to the old wolf pack ways.

“I'm fine with whatever he wants, but it's becoming that I can't tell what he wants more.” Steve hopes he doesn't have to elaborate, but he sees Jared nod his head in understanding.

“Yeah, don't envy you.” Jared looks down at the remote table tot his left, then swipes it up to turn around and lean backward on the counter. He's got the stylus in his hand again. “It's gotta be tough.”

Steve turns just slightly to lean back, sidling up near to Jared so he can watch him work on that intricate system inside of the touchscreen remote control. “I'm trying to be supportive but he keeps see-sawing, then he tells me to forget about it—-tells me I'm enough, that his life is plenty full.” He twists around to look at the huge 70-inch monitor to see what Jared just had made happen.

Jared notices that the six “live” channels are showing activity now. Four camera views look like they're in each of the Bearers' locker rooms. “hmm, wonder if they have ones on the Alphas, too.”

“They won't. All the Alphas are still in the Gridiron, whether they fight tonight or not.”

“ahhh. They bring 'em out once the Gridiron is done?”

“Yeah, c'mon, man...” Steve pats Jared on the left shoulder blade. “Lets go sit in the other room, watch it in real time. This TV stuff is too distracting.”

“Wait, wait...lemme just—” Jared works a few buttons and makes Jensen's locker room camera fit the entire screen, then he brings the remote tablet with him, leaving the double sliding door panels open between the rooms.

It's tough for Jared to concentrate on the live-action taking place in the Gridiron when he wants to watch Jensen on the camera feed into his preliminary locker space where Jensen seems to be meditating.

Even while interviewing the other Bearers, Cady Kate can't get any exclusive conversation with the Alamani, but she won't give up trying, right down to the last second before Jensen fights.

 

**== &&==&&==&&==**   
**TBC...**


	9. Chapter 9

They had been warned that some things would be changing on the ride over to the Gridiron arena. Something about TV crews, sportscasters and some kind of “Net-Work” the High Alpha had bought into for the sole purpose of making more money off outside packs and innocents who would be duped into paying almost $70-100 for whatever coverage ESPN 4- The Fourth Sect could generate. So far, it had been the quickest, best-selling pay-per-view ticket on satellite providers. A rating of NC-17-to-XXX for possible gratuitous sex and violence. Innocents ate it up like candy, while outside packs were nostalgic and some had become curious to studying what the Ferae were doing behind those high cement walls.

Jensen had prayed with Duncan and the twins briefly out in the wide corridor, wishing his brothers good luck and to keep safe, and above everything, make them aware that it wasn't important to win or humiliate the courting Alpha, but to triumph over their own personal tragedies and persevere for themselves and their brethren watching. Jensen does a private “shout out” to the person on his mind the most and he proceeds to hug Duncan, then Farrack. When it comes to Fessick, the Bearer holds onto Jensen the tightest, neither of them want to let go.

Jensen can't forget Farrack's words about his brother's “sensations” toward a possible dark cloud over the nights' events. The fact Fessick embraced so fiercely, mumbling incoherent words into Jensen's skin and hair, Jensen begins to be a tad spooked. He returns the Bearer's stronghold, giving back the love and support he is being shown freely. He cups Fessick's face, then rains tiny kisses over the chiseled features; Fessick blushes, giggles, saying the kisses had “tickled”. Jensen only gives him more, then he allows Farrack to take his brother away to their shared locker room. Duncan gives a solid nod, a bit teary-eyed with a hard swallow and steps behind his own door. Now all Jensen has to do is walk into his own space, for as much privacy as they will allow him. He knows that if he meditates in a corner, like he's actually doing something sacred and ritualistic, then the news camera crews will leave him alone.

The line-up for the night was as follows...

DUNCAN KAGAN—FARRACK AZUL—JENSEN ACKLES—FESSICK AZUL

The Alphas courting each Bearer are allowed to leave the Gridiron backstage in order to make their way to the combined locker room. They can shower, if they had battled at all, but each of them have to disrobe and change into their own “outfits” that will match the look of their Alpha Bearers.

Duncan's Alpha, Jemal, keeps to himself, letting the other three Alphas bond and act like old friends. They talk about their courtship “meetings”, how each of them had shown their Bearers who was “in control”. Jemal hadn't been in the tournaments in the Gridiron this evening, but he had wanted a shower to smell decent for Duncan even though he might lose. It saddens his heart to think of not seeing his potential mate again. He misses him, almost to an agonizing degree. He will need quite a few cold showers to tamp down desires, but he's gotten used to the agony now—like an old friend. He brings a bar of soap and a towel, then walks naked into the shower room with his half-hard cock and swelling knot dangling between his thick thighs. He's alone for ten minutes before one of the other Alphas wanders through, just as naked, fully erect and knot full to bursting.

Jemal looks to the tile wall separating them as he scrubs with soapy hands; he gives out a small understanding smile. The Alpha rolls his eyes and turns on the faucet knobs, full blast to freezing cold. Jemal twists to show his back and listens to the Alpha growl out pent-up sexual frustrations and a need for release. When Jemal comes back around, he sees the Alpha leaning with forearms on the wall, letting the cold spray pelt down his shivering back. He feels awful for laughing, but he knows exactly where this Alpha comes from. Jemal turns off his shower, leaving the bar of soap. He dries quickly, then secures the towel fabric about his thick waist. 

Duncan had chosen soft browns and tans so Jemal's swaths of cloths should compliment his Bearer's ensemble. Jemal can go with the darker color as the main focus or the lighter one. He tries to think which hues would've made Duncan's skin more luminous—that glowing soft tan flesh looking rather pale with lighter colors. Jemal thinks Duncan would have chosen the darker browns, maybe even the red-browns. He decides on the light tan with the red-brown trim. It makes his own pale skin look creamy, slightly tan. Jemal sits on the benchseat, grabbing the first cloth for his left foot. He can hear shuffles and sniffles, the Alpha from the shower room is coming near, but not too close.

“Is it all right if I—?” He gestures to the spot he wants to occupy.

“Yes.” Jemal is a man of very few words, but he knows this Alpha won't be.

“Name's Toran.”

Jemal is too busy wrapping his thick ankle to see the offered hand sent down to him, but it levitates to him, swatting lightly against his biceps. He turns his head, giving a shy smile. “Sorry, man.” He puts his left hand out to connect. “Jemal.”

“—first time here?” The Alpha scrubs a towel at his wet head, not even ashamed of letting his knotted cock freely jut out and bounce as he moves.

“No. Second.” Jemal is familiar with some of the nonchalance of most Alphas, so he goes back to tucking the material in at mid-calf, then checks on the give around his ankle. He picks up the next cloth to go the opposite direction on his other leg, from mid-calf to mid-sole to the arch of his foot. 

Toran furrows his brow in curiosity. “I don't see you here often or during the training.”

Jemal clears his throat, not one to divulge his entire backstory at the get-go. “I've been in mourning.”

“Oh—shit...” Toran shakes his head as he takes a seat on the bench behind him. “My apologies, brother.”

“You didn't know.” Jemal gives a sad smile, going quieter, his heart beat races as he thinks about what this loss—such a public humiliating rejection—can do to him in the state he is, coming off the loss of his mate and their stillborn 'pup'. “It's been 3 yrs since I lost my mate.” It's been easier now to just let the story slip past his lips and then keep going and not stop at all. “We had been trying for a 'pup'. The Creator decided His plan for him was more important by His side, not mine.”

“...jesus, man.” Toran lays the stretch of the towel material across his thighs as he throws a leg over to straddle and face Jemal. “Are you feeling good 'bout a 'win' tonight?”

“I like my Bearer. He's...” Jemal straightens his back. “He's different than my previous mate. I could've gone the easier route and taken an extremely willing Omega, but...” He makes a sour face, unable to truly find words to say why exactly he can't.

“Oh, god.” Toran puts up a hand to make Jemal understand he doesn't have to explain further. “You don't even have to tell me. Once you've been with one, or even experienced the presence of an Alpha Bearer, it's tough to switch back to Omega.” He lifts a lone eyebrow in growing discontent. “Betas? eecch...don't even bother.”

Jemal chuckles softly as he nods in agreement. “I want to see my Bearer after this—win or lose. But...” He doesn't even know if Duncan still holds an interest in him; the last few times he's scurried away from his touch, and they hadn't even been that intimate.

“But—what?” Toran furrows his brow in wild curiosity.

Jemal tucks in the cloth and rests his elbows on his thighs. “I have this strangest feeling after all this time he's been struggling and fighting not to give in, I may have worn him down in our last meeting. We had a great conversation.”

“Why don't you sound happier?” Toran isn't understanding the difficulty here.

“Because...” Jemal gives his whole upper torso a mad shake. “eh, I don't know.” He shrugs one shoulder, opens his mouth to speak, then closes it to shrug both shoulders. “I want to 'win' him fair-n-square. I don't need him to give up or give in to me.” He places a hand on his chest. “For me, it's not about public claiming, marking him as mine or knotting him to be bred there and then. I just wish—” Jemal shakes his head as he lowers his voice to an even keel. “I wish I had another option besides traditional means.” He picks up a single cloth to start winding around his arms.

“Christ, man, same here.” Toran reaches over to give a hard pat to Jemal's bare knee, then pushes off. “My Bearer is...well, he's a little on the slow side, but the sweetest, kindest and...” He tilts his head as he's almost at a loss for words to describe Fessick Azul to a complete stranger. First impressions of the Bearer often leave people thinking he isn't much better than his twin brother. Toran releases a quirky smile at the corner of his mouth. “He's quite smart when you're patient with him, giving him some space to think.” He's lost in a memory of some private time spent alone with Fessick, with his older brother chaperoning. “Weird thing is, I courted his twin brother a year ago. I lost that bout. A shame, too, 'cuz I really liked him—Farrack.” He sees how this piece of information makes the Alpha take notice of him and stare in concentration. “I met Fessick, the younger twin I'm courting, during that time and—I know it must seem odd that I'm going for the 'other brother'. Like I'm seeking revenge or something. But this is the first time Farrack has brought his brother out to be courted.” Toran takes a hard swallow, his Adam's apple jumping up and down in sudden nerves. He doesn't want to lose tonight, because he knows he will never have another chance to save Fessick. “I wanted to be first in line. I feared other Alphas wouldn't know or understand that Fessick isn't deficient or handicapped. He will not pass on defective DNA to a 'pup'; he's as strong and virile as his brother. See...Fessick was deprived of oxygen at birth. Farrack's life was saved because of that. They almost lost Fessick, so...”

“Whoa...” Jemal is finishing swathing his wrist up to mid-forearm.

Toran narrows his gaze on Jemal, knowing exactly what the Alpha wants to ask him. “I really can't tell you if I still have feelings for Farrack, but I do know I find myself drawn more to Fessick.” No truer words have been uttered from his lips. Fessick is easier to get along with and more susceptible to intimacy, whereas Farrack—Farrack knows how to overpower and win control; he proved that to Toran once before. “Farrack has raised him to be a perfect mate.” He gives a quick glance at Jemal, then looks away. He starts unrolling his swaths of cloth that will match Fessick's colors. “Anything interesting about your Bearer?”

“Other than him being the close brother to the Alamani?”

“Oh...” Toran puts down the fabrics, his eyes going wide with shock as he sputters out a hard laugh. “...no shit!?”

“No, no shit.”

Toran looks off to the side as he starts to wrap his hand first, center of his palm, to eventually meet up to his elbow or mid-forearm. “And I thought I had it tough meeting Fessick's family.”

“He's supposed to be fighting tonight as well.” Jemal adds with a sliver of excitement in his eyes. He had been intimidated by Jensen—the Alamani—but over time, even on occasions of meeting Duncan, a little bit more of the real Jensen came out. Jemal was honored to be fighting on the same night as the Alamani, with the possibility of being an integral part of Jensen's family.

“I know.” Toran snorts out a snicker, shaking his head as he leans toward Jemal. “His courting Alpha has been a little, uhm...too free with the ego-stroking.” He wiggles his dark eyebrows in mirth. “Little does he know...”

Both Alphas deeply chuckle at the mere idea of some boastful Ferae Alpha going on and on about a “win” against the Alamani when he had known full-well that Jensen never loses. He will only go down in infamy as yet another humiliated Ferae Alpha under the Alpha Bearer's belt.

Jemal isn't going to short change any Alpha fetishes or kinks. He knows some of his kind get off on being dominated by lower pack statuses. “Maybe he does and that's his high or his rush of adrenaline.”

Toran grumbles a bit when the cloth won't wrap correctly, but then he finally gets it going again; he's working on his other arm, this time from elbow down to the middle of his hand, letting his fingers pop out. “Alpha's got some big set of balls to be courting the High Alpha's son.” He shakes his head thinking how mad-cap insane Ferae Alphas had to be to even get involved in that mess. “That's just—I can only imagine what a nightmare it would be to not only try to mate with the Alamani, but then BE a mate to him as the High Alpha looks on.”

“I don't know.” Jemal shrugs his shoulder, giving out a small grin at a few random memories. “Jensen wasn't too bad during meetings he attended with my Bearer.”

From around the wall of lockers comes two Alphas, both bearing pewter mugs full of some type of wine or ale.

“Come! Come! A toast! For us brethren!” 

Two pewter mugs are shoved toward Jemal's and Toran's faces; they don't want to be rude so they take them with a smile and a single nod of “thanks”.

Jemal grips the carved handle rather tight, clanging the side with the other three, but doesn't take a sip. He sets his mug down, watching the tipsy, inebriated Alphas wander off.

“You're not gonna drink that?” Toran is gulping down his drink as he gestures toward the mug that sits on the bench near Jemal's thigh.

“No. I want nothing impeding my mind.”

“Do you care if I—?” Toran gives a small expel of a burp as he leans over to snag the handle before Jemal pushes the mug off the bench.

“No. By all means, drink. I'd hate to see it go to waste.” Or in those other two Alpha's bellies. Jemal stands, getting rid of his towel to pick up the most important piece of cloth. He starts by wrapping it at the crease of his right thigh. It will take him a few go-arounds before he tucks the last two inches into the waist or at the hip indent, but he's impressed it doesn't bulk around his cock like a hard shell. The material lays flat from pelvis to the apex of his legs, strips cover the hairier portions of his upper thighs.

“Pretty impressive skills, brother.” Toran raises the mug to cheer Jemal on. “You might have to help me with mine as this drink will most likely double my vision in the next few seconds.”

“Then I suggest changing to water soon or try putting food in your belly.”

“Nah, man. I'm too nervous to eat, but I'll try your water-solution. When do you go on?”

“I am first.”

“Lucky Alpha. I am last.”

“Maybe by then, you will be a bit more sober.”

“eh, doubt it.”

“Your fight to lose, brother. Think about your mate, not wanting any other Alpha to have him.” Jemal pushes off the bench to move to a reflected image of himself. He isn't a vain Alpha, but he does think he doesn't look half-bad. He flexes his arms separately, his mind wandering to what Duncan will look like and how his mate will feel looking at him. Suddenly, he's very eager and excited to get into the ring just for that millisecond of time. Jemal picks up the only bottle of body oil offered on the shelf. He's simply going to use a little to create alight sheen on his skin, but the second he put the open cap to his nose, the pungent flowery scent makes him sneeze.

A collective “Bless you!!” fills the locker room.

Jemal places the bottle back down, rubbing the tip of his nose as his eyes become itchy and watery; his damn allergies kick in. Once he gets his head submerged in a sinkful of cold water, he then goes to the table of catered food and drink, swipes at a capped bottle of chilled water and slurps until his lungs hurt. He lets the sputtering water cascade down his jaw, along his neck and collar bone. He had narrowly missed having an allergic reaction to whatever that body oil was mostly made out of.

He finds a corner of the locker room where he can be on his own until the officials came and get him to leave for his bout. Jemal does a few stretches and squats, then puts his swathed hands up like he was preparing to spar, starting to throw out kicks with his feet to couple with blows from his hands as he spins. These aren't wrestling moves he had been using to train, just quick tactical kick-boxing motions he over-extends to draw out his aggressive Alpha-side so he can start to manage the levels of temperament. He can hear a female voice enter the lockers, a bit of a bustle in activity from the drunken Alphas, hearing them ask for his name, then Toran making some random excuse about him needing time alone since he was going to be the first Alpha out the door.

Jemal was more than ready to go once the Gallantry referees came, escorting him to the underbelly of the ring of the cage. He can feel the vibrations, hears the muffled thunder of a massive audience full of the Ferae pack attending tonight. Someone with a camera and very bright lights keeps chasing him, but he's opening up his senses for only one person and when he stands at the steps of the trap-door that will take him above stage, he can't help thinking how much the Gallantry has changed since the last time he had been here. 

They signal him to rise out of the floor, then the trap door is shut and locked.

Now he's inside half the cage with a mere “wall” separating him from Duncan. As he paces and works out the kinks to his joints, he barely hears the crowds; it's too loud to register as he maintains focus. Jemal begins to not only hear his mate's footsteps on the ring's floor on the other side, he can scent him, but he can't feel the heat because of the stupid “wall”. 

In a matter of seconds, once the tapestry drops to reveal the full octagonal cage, the wall splits from the middle and Alpha meets Alpha Bearer with a main referee watching over the whole match. The announcer calls out each contender's name while the referee brings the two Alphas together in the center circle. He only needs one hand, in the form of a fist to bump their visible knuckles together. The referee speaks some type of traditional Ferae blessing, briefly winding prayer beads over their wrists, momentarily chaining them together.

Jemal cannot look away from Duncan; he's beyond speechless. He can't even work his throat. He keeps staring at his mate's face, trying to get those averting eyes to look directly at him, but Duncan seems to be as equally unable to not react to how Jemal looks half-naked and glistening with his own body sweat. Jemal detects the nostril flares, the quickening of the heart in the chest, pumping directly to the thick artery in the throat. He sees that Duncan allows himself to be consumed by him; his scent and his heat...just the image of how he appears. Jemal worries Duncan will give in too soon.

There's a moment where the referee gets them to shake hands, agreeing to fight a fair match, but Jemal takes a wild chance and uses his left hand to snatch the back of Duncan's head, merging their brows as one.

“Do not make this easy for me, Bearer—make me earn you.”

Jemal feels the referee attempt to pull them apart, stuffing his portly body between their bare chests. Even while he was being reprimanded, Jemal lets his gaze clash with Duncan's eyes and in them he can see a silent compromise with a sigh of relief. Jemal mouths the word “mine”, pointing to Duncan then to himself, right on top of his own racing heart. He likes the subtle way Duncan shakes his head, narrowing his gaze, doing a very quick hand gesture to show “no...you are mine!”, then he positions his feet and hands in the proper fashion.

Jemal knows Duncan will not only make him a worthy opponent, he will prove to be an even more worthy mate.

==&&==&&==&&==

Jensen can't believe what a difference a few months have made since the last time he had stood at this trap door, about to climb the set of steps to rise out of the floor. He knows what will happen once he does. The audience of Alphas, Betas and Omegas are stomping their feet and chanting his name—“AH-LAH!! MAH-NEE!! AH-LAH!! MAH-NEE!!”. Prepared to see their precious savior in all his half-naked glory, then watch him overpower and kick the ass of some poor unfortunate Ferae Alpha.

He closes his eyes, deep breathing and focusing on one thing—his unofficial official “date” with Jared. Jensen doesn't even have to see him to know he is here, somewhere in this stadium, probably watching. He can tell by how light and free he's been feeling, genuinely happy to still be alive and waiting for the next moment he can see, can touch, Jared.

The floor opens for him and, even though he tries to walk up and out with some kind of normalcy, his ability to channel his senses on the task at hand are overwhelming by the deafening, thunderous chanting for him—from all statuses. He, of course, turns to every spot he can, kissing all ten fingers and sending his blessings and love out toward them. They cheer even louder, and then the Alpha howls come at him; it was their way of showing how pleasing Jensen is to their own senses. He starts to bounce off his toes, shaking out his shoulders, knowing that in a few moments the wall will split apart and he will face his courting Alpha.

He doesn't open every one of his senses since he's only here to take-down yet another Alpha, so he isn't too worried that he doesn't pick up a scent, but he does hear his courting mate's footsteps. The wall breaks apart and the crowd goes bonkers. Jensen steps to the center circle, giving his hand to the referee. The Alpha takes his time to approach, sauntering up as he gives Jensen a creepy once-over.

Jensen feels the sudden chill down his spine, and even as he hears the ritual blessing as the prayer beads are entwined around their wrists, something pelts him: a rich, pungent flowery odor that he had thought had been coming off that female Were-cat with the microphone and her camera crew. Jensen snatches his hand back, nearly snapping the prayer beads in half; the itchy wateriness of his eyes causes him to pull away his whole body, staggering off to the side with a hand to his chest.

The crowd take a collective intake of shuddering breath...

The referee is stunned, stepping between the two Alphas before something goes out-of-hand. “Wha's wrong!?!”

“...tha's not my Alpha!...” Jensen tries to get the words out, past his clogging throat; he cups a hand around his Adam's apple like he's being choked by a phantom. “...not...my Alpha!” 

The “Alpha” in question butts his chest up against the referee's back, trying to call out Jensen as a weak and unworthy piece of shit, then Jensen wipes his eyes dry enough to come at the Ferae Alpha who he now knows, without a shadow of doubt, is not the Ferae Alpha who courted him—but a damn-good doppleganger. He calls him a “cheat” and “knotsucking asshole”, and then it doesn't matter if the referee is there or not. Someone is going down and there will be a knock-down-drag-out fight to the bitter end.

The Ferae Alpha and the Alpha Bearer not only start to wrestle, but throw in a bit of martial arts and some random kick-boxing moves, not to mention the Ferae Alpha attempts to use some type of military tactical maneuvers on Jensen to get him pinned facedown to the mat.

Jensen doesn't know where he found the strength or how he exactly does it, but he gains more power as his eyesight goes blurry. In fact, he's winning at getting the Ferae Alpha imprisoned backward against the wall of the cage with the force of his own body and feet planting hard to the slippery floor below. The Ferae Alpha and the Alpha Bearer don't even know that the referee has escaped to the floor underneath, suffering from his own allergic reaction to whatever is all over the Ferae Alpha's body.

They send two trained medics up-topside, wearing a full set of clothes and layers of latex gloves. They tranquilize the Ferae Alpha from a distance with Ketamine just as he's about to unravel the swath of the unconscious Alamani, who is suddenly dropped like a rag doll to the floor, face down and limp. Jensen is curled into a fetal position, arms and legs bent and tucked in as he drifts off into an instant blackout.

More clothed and gloved medics come up to take the unconscious, and still raging hormonal, Ferae Alpha away, while the first two medics slowly flip the Alamani on his back where he had collapsed.

Right away, it's almost too clear to one of them what's happened.

“He's overdosing!!” He's yelling, or trying to, in order to be heard above the roar of the crowds.

Jensen is fidgeting in convulsions, eyes rolling to the back of his head as a small billow of foam begins to come out of a corner of his mouth.

“What?!” The other medic bends to hear better, cupping a hand around the shell of his ear.

“Overdose!! Of whatever that fuckin' Alpha is covered in, it's giving him an adverse reaction!!”

“Like an allergic reaction?!”

At his adamant nod, he tries to assess anything else on the Alamani's body. “We need to get him wrapped in something that won't soak through!!...Right now!! any sweat he secretes!! is toxic to Betas and Omegas!! and other Bearers!!...But strangely!!...it's like an aphrodisiac to Alphas!!”

“Jesus!! It's a lot like that date-rape drug, right!?!”

The medic nods his head, pointing his fingers in direct motions. “Get him hooked to that IV and lets get him out of here!! – STAT!!!”

They bundle Jensen in a huge thick tarp and heft him back out the way he had come in. The medics quickly haul him to a waiting stretcher, buckling him inside the tarp then hurriedly wheel him toward a medical exam room, where trained doctors and nurses can get to him as soon as possible.

The second the pack members on hospital staff in the room notice that it's the Alamani—cold and lifeless—they attempt to steel their emotions and work to counter-act the overdosing [ possible poisoning ] that Jensen is near to suffering. They put on their face masks and don layers of latex gloves, beginning to diligently help to get the Alpha Bearer to a conscious and functioning level.

Vince and Christian, with Steve and Jared trailing behind, infiltrate the circle of onlookers around the doctors and nurses trying to save Jensen's life. They breathe a sigh of massive relief when Jensen starts to stutter out a huge intake of air, climbing and clutching out of his unconscious state, then he leans over the stretcher, proceeding to vomit every bit of his stomach contents until he's red-faced and dry-heaving. He starts mumbling incoherencies, then the people begin to understand what he's saying as they try to wash his face and get him to drink more of their concoction that will help him produce saliva and possible more of the “poison” in his stomach.

“—something about 'it wasn't his Alpha'...and, he needs to see—uh, 'Jay'? I think.”

Vince and Christian glance over at Jared. Steve gently pushes the taller Alpha toward the stretcher.

“What can I—? I don't even know what—?” Jared's dragged over beside the stretcher, while being handed two pairs of latex gloves and a face mask like everyone else, told to put them on for his own safety. But the minute the pack clear a space for him—and Jensen rolls toward him, shivering and an arm outstretched—all else fades away. “I'm here, Jen...m'here.” He pets over Jensen's hair, giving over his right arm as Jensen holds the shape tight to his chest.

Everybody backs away, keeping an eye on the fate and health of the Alamani, wondering who Jared is and why he feels so brave to just touch the Alamani with naked flesh. Jared is barely even keeping the face mask over his lower jaw; he doesn't think Jensen can hear him if he covers his mouth.

“What the hell just happened?!” Jared demands as he notices Vince and Christian advancing toward the other side of the stretcher.

“Do you smell that?” Steve bumps at the foot of the stretcher, tilting his head in a peculiar manner.

“What?” Jared sniffs the air, then turns his nose to Jensen. “It's coming off Jen!” He's never scented this odor before and it's sharp and flowery, but does nothing for him.

Vince has placed his hand on the top of the stretcher structure. “The Alpha must've either drank the herb or—well, we know he covered his body in it.” He's motioning to Jensen's bare skin where there are smears of body oil caked with dirt and grime from the floor of the ring.

“An herb?” Jared is trying to soak up all the information as quickly as he can to assess what the hell is happening. It's hard to concentrate with Jensen clinging to life right beside him. “Like a plant?”

“A flowering plant.” For the first time, Christian's showing signs of being the brilliant doctor he went to medical school for. “The leaves are separated from the flower and often used as enhancers for arousal for Alphas—much like the human Viagra.”

Vince nods his head, glancing at Christian to then look down at Jensen. “The flower in the wild is very poisonous, but once extracted and mixed with other herbs, it can become a powerful anesthetic, like ether.” It's becoming difficult to talk as he feels emotions choke his throat. “It's especially effective with lower pack statuses.”

“In low doses, it has a calming effect.” Christian crosses his arms at his back, nodding at Vince's words as he continues, “...a relaxing effect, but in as high a dose as the Alpha had to have taken it, and then he...” He rolls his hand over toward where Jensen lay in the state he was in.

“So, essentially...” Jared didn't care if he was rude or hurtful; he simply barks louder at the two Alphas across from him. “...Jensen was almost raped in that fucking ring?”

“Jared, please...” Steve is coming up on his side of the stretcher, reaching out to lay a gentle hand on his biceps, gripping tight to soothe. “Keep your voice down.” He glances around at the medical professionals peering over at them as they stand around Jensen's stretcher, and Jensen dozes on and off.

“I will...” Jared is attempting to be calm and relaxed, but it's really tough when he doesn't even know who tried to hurt Jensen. “...when you fuckin' castrate that Alpha and bring me his balls!” He doesn't mean to shake off Steve's hand, but he's not ready to let go of this near-tragedy.

“...not my Alpha...”

Jared nods his head as he brushes back Jensen's hair, rubbing at the back of his head. He looks up at Vince and Christian, then over his shoulder at Steve, expecting an explanation. “Why does he keep sayin' that?”

Steve choses to answer this time, reaching out to touch Jensen's thigh under the single top sheet they've wrapped around him. “Because only Jensen would have known, by scent and heat, who the courting Alpha was.”

“So where exactly did they take this Ferae Alpha?” Jared mutters out loud, glancing down at Jensen.

Christian and Vince look to Steve for an answer since he knows the arena so well. Steve shrugs his shoulders as he continues to slide his hand up and down Jensen's leg. “Can't have taken him too far.”

“Look...” Vince thinks there's been enough time wasted; he taps the stretcher. “—we need to get Jensen out of here, and into some therapies at the hospital to get the poison fully out of his system.”

“Wait!! The fuck!?!” Jared places his hands down to keep the stretcher from moving. “When did this become a 'poisoning'?!”

Steve places his hand again on Jared, but this time on a shoulder. “Jared, one doesn't use such a heavy dose of the Yahya [ **_ah-ya_** ] plant to just fuck and knot an unwilling Bearer.”

“...shit...” Jared tightens his hands grip wherever he's holding onto, about ready to kill with his bare hands. “...so they meant to kill him...”

“Ambulance!! Outside!!” Someone comes in through the doors and yells out into the air.

“All right, people!!” Christian is walking around, clapping his hands. “Let's get him in motion and on-board!!”

“JARED!!” Jensen cries out as they're being pulled apart.

“I'm here, Jensen!” Jared pushes his way through again, this time throwing away the face mask. He bends in so the green eyes can see him, only they stare unfocused. He dips low and begins pressing kisses to Jensen's face, shaping a hand at the top of the head. He can't scent the flowering plant at all, but he knows he can't be of any help to Jensen right now. “...so brave...so beautiful...you're gonna be all right. I will make sure of it.”

Jensen blindly reaches out to touch Jared's lips, smiling only because he feels the half-smile forming. “m'so sorry...ruin'd our date...”

Jared can't help but laugh. “Are you kiddin' me? Our night is just gettin' started.”

“...don' go...stay...”

Jared feels like crying from the plea that passes those lips. “You go on ahead of me. I will follow, right behind. I swear.”

“You better.” Jensen is able to mumbled out as he's taken away.

Jared snorts as he loosens his grip and watches the stretcher disappear down the hall toward the double doors. 

Steve is there to settle the flat of his palm on a shoulder blade, letting the hand creep up to lock around the boneline. “Let's not make you a liar. I got a car out back, we'll follow the ambulance.”

Jared hugs himself, sensing his body shivering like he's locked in a walk-in freezer. “What the fuck just happened, man?” He's biting at his thumbnail, an old nervous tick of his youth, as he twists his head to stare at Steve.

“I don't know.” Steve feels like shit for not knowing a damn thing, which he wishes wasn't true. But he will be looking in to an investigation, especially if it ends up souring his managing duties at the Gridiron. “All I can say is, someone is going to get their ass chewed off or possibly get served their head on a platter for allowing millions of Ferae, worldwide, to simply sit back and watch their Alamani cling to life.”

“Yeah...oh, shit...” Jared had forgotten about all those cameras, plus the added bonus of the new network channel.

“Exactly. Come on...”

==&&==&&==&&==

Jensen doesn't know which is better: being the Alamani when they fawn over him, hugging and kissing him, squeezing his hands so tight they could break his bones, or being the Alamani who looks like death warmed over, who no one can get near for more than five minutes without having a reaction. The face masks and latex gloves are what do him in; he didn't know how much he had been thriving on skin-on-skin contact until he wasn't allowed to have it.

They keep him away from Jared for another hour, which is all right with him; he's still dry-heaving and he knows the pallor of his skin is almost chalky or a light gray. They had given him a huge cannister of banana-flavored Go-Lightly, expecting him to seep the rest of the poison out of his excrement. He had known he probably had digested some of the herb, not realizing what had been all over that strange Ferae Alpha. He still can't believe how someone had managed to dupe him. 

Had he been courted by one twin, then they had switched on the night of Gallantry? 

He's sitting alone in the private sauna, sweating off the poisonous herb from his pores. He rubs a hand over his nape, then over his newly shorn hair. He had told them to shave off all of it, to not even bother cutting just the dead-ends off or the follicles that will grow to hold the poison. They aren't willing to take any chances with him being lost to them, by not having him secrete a good amount of every bodily fluid possible. He knows the last will probably be his semen and slick, but he doubts they will want that right away. They will do more tests to see if he was all clear before they suggest he try to orgasm and/or jerk himself off. And he's not going to offer, if it's not necessary.

He can hear some scuffles, a very loud noise, directly outside the sauna's door, then it opens and, although some nurses are visibly protesting, the door shuts on them and Jared sets the lock.

Jensen quickly stands, having nothing but a flimsy hospital towel around his waist. He lets out a soft laugh, rubbing at his eyes. “I have some vision in my left eye, but I'm still blurry in my right, but...god-damn, is it good to see you.”

They laugh, both of them approaching the other and immediately embracing—hard, but then Jensen allows his body to weaken in Jared's strong hold.

“Finally...someone who isn't afraid to touch me.” Jensen rests his brow on Jared's chest, his hands roam over the moistening suit's shirt. “I love that you dressed up for me—all fancy-like.” He fingers dig and end up grappling for the shirt's cloth. “We make quite a pair.”

They back up briefly to stare down at how they look compared to one another.

Jared can't help smirking, and shyly dipping his head as he makes a small “display” of himself for Jensen. Then he goes right back to touching, caressing Jensen's face and upper body. “I was tired of the, 'ten more minutes and you can see him'.” He dips low toward Jensen's face, fingers tracing the jawline and chin. “This herb doesn't seem to affect me like it does everyone else.” He lifts up a lone curious eyebrow. “Although, I do hear if I was a Ferae Alpha, I would be quite turned on by you and I wouldn't be able to deny taking you as mine.” Then almost suddenly, Jared is bunching that gentle hand into a fist, knocking Jensen under his chin.

Jensen lifts his head as Jared opens his hand to caresses at his throat and collar. “Don't think of the 'what if'.” He snatches for Jared's fingers, meshing their palms together so he can bring the top of the hand to press to his face, turn their bond every so often to kiss the skin. “They would've tranquilized him before he had me fully unraveled.”

“mmm...” Jared surrounds the neck and brings Jensen back toward his body. “Imma find me that Alpha an' serve him the only justice he deserves.”

Jensen buries his face in Jared's shirt, mumbling, “Stand in line, right behind me.”

Jared bows his head, dipping low to the shoulder and neck, close to an ear. “I don't know a Ferae pack member right this moment that wouldn't try to slay this Alpha. I'm not sure he knew what he was doing.”

“Maybe he truly didn't.”

Jared pulls back, looking down at Jensen, making sure he understood what the inflection of voice meant. “What do you mean?'

Jensen leaves his hands flat on Jared's chest, staring down at his own hands. They even clipped his fingernails down to the nubs so he wouldn't bite at them. “We all do some desperate things in desperate times.” He's not cutting the Ferae Alpha slack, by any means, but Jensen is willing to understand more than he's willing to condemn without asking outright for an explanation. “This Alpha didn't take my courting Alpha's place without knowing consequences.” He can tell already that Jared is very displeased with his answer. “Do you know where they're holding him?”

“Alpha-side.” Jared doesn't mean to bark out his response, but he can't fathom why Jensen isn't more upset. But then again, he is the Alamani, and this was a pretty heavy situation to grasp. “In a solitary confinement cell—where he belongs. I hope he rots there.” He snarls out that last bit, turning away from Jensen as he tucks his hands away into his trouser pockets.

Jensen secretly smiles to himself, stunned that he had doubted Jared had ever been unworthy as his mate—his Alpha. Even with his own compassionate heart and nature, Jared has been the only pack he's heard that wants vengeance for him. “They should be coming to get me soon.” He swiftly moves to sit down on the single bench in the enclosed room, feeling a little weakened from standing for so long and not being held up by Jared. “Next, they want to put me into a steam bath.”

“hmm—your own mini-hot tub.” Jared snorts out a laugh, his hands motioning around the small, confined space. “Like you have your own sauna.”

Jensen leans over, elbows on his thighs as he rubs his hands together. “They've about dried me up at all ends, took every bit of my hair...”

Jared wanders over and stands in front of Jensen to squat, reaching out hands to clamp around the bare knees peeking out of the towel hem. “—and yet you still look beautiful to me.” He combs back the crew-cut length as if it were a long flowing mane like his own. He's gonna miss the lengthier locks, but he's actually been curious to what Jensen would look like with shorter, better-styled hair. Plus the fact, he's not a true blond like the long strands gave away; his natural hair color is a bit darker with dark reds popping through. 

“You're biased.” Jensen playfully shoves at Jared, chuckling when the Alpha pretends like he's been knocked on his ass, then ends up sitting crossed-legged in front of his feet. “You've already seen me at my worst.” He grips the edge of the bench on either side of his thighs, kicking out to bump toes against Jared's legs.

Jared snatches both ankles, letting Jensen place the soles of his feet on his thighs. He's using this time to inspect the healed sores and old blisters. “We do keep meeting at this hospital, taking care of you.” He allows his fingertips to trace the delicate flawless skin.

Jensen can feel the shivers running up his legs, settling about his thighs to head to his groin. “I swear I've never been sick a day in my life.” He gives off a nervous laugh, bowing his head with some guilt. He can't help but think of the passage for when humans marry “in sickness and in health”, and boy, has he shown Jared how sickly he can be. “Nor have I ever had a Gallantry bout go completely sideways for myself.” Jensen wrinkles his brow as he sees Jared bow his head, clearing his throat. Jared climbs off the floor, letting his hands lazily crawl up Jensen's legs, and then he dips low so he can scoop Jensen off the benchseat and into his arms. “oh, god...” His left arm locks about Jared's neck and shoulders, then the other hand goes to cover his flushing face. “I hate this whole damsel-in-distress feel.”

“Stop thinking of it like that.” Jared tosses Jensen in the air, to readjust him to tuck his face away in his neck, feeling the hot breath sweep down his collar below his shirt. “Instead, think of this like a chance for me to hold you, for you to shamelessly cling to me...” He keeps bending low and lower toward Jensen's parting lips. “...for us to show all these oglers that the right Alpha has won after all.” Jared is strolling toward the thick paneling, unlocking the mechanism and letting the nurses open the hefty door. “Point me where he needs to go.”

The younger Omegas nod in acceptance to the gruff booming Alpha's voice, then walk in front to lead the way down the corridor. They enter what looks to be a procedure room, but dead center is a stainless steel tub the size of a human frame sitting upright, with legs extended; there's steam rising out of the bubbling water.

“mmm...” Jared stares down at the interesting image. He can't imagine what this is going to feel like for Jensen, but he thinks that the Bearer is used to such eccentricities; his skin is too flawless not to have done whatever he could to take care of his own grooming. “...Alamani soup on the menu...”

Jensen softly snickers, shaking his head as he pats at Jared's chest wall. “Just put me down on my feet, help me climb in.”

Jared does just that, then watches Jensen pull off the towel, dunking his body fully to pop back out and, promptly forgets that he no longer has lengthy blond tresses; he simply swipes over his shaved head, giving a wild shake to spray hot water everywhere. “God...gonna have to get used to this.” He's supposed to sit at the other end of the tub, but because Jared stands at the foot of the stainless steel structure, he floats in that direction.

Jared settles folded arms on the tub rim; Jensen lays his head on one of the bunched forearms.

One can almost hear the collective “awww” echoing about the room as the onlookers, who are medical professionals, stare on.

The pack watching them are the least of Jared's worries. He brings out a hand to cup the head, soothing over the shorn locks then pets down the face. “How do you feel?'

“—wrung out and limp, hung out to dry...” Jensen turns his face into the arm. “Does my pack know how I am?” He's not giving any attention to anyone in the room but Jared. He's missed him for too long, and he couldn't care a bit about what everyone is thinking of him and exactly what role Jared plays in his life.

“They thought you were dead. A lot of us did.” Jared combs over the head, caressing down the neck and nape, then down the back. He's amazed he's actually able to touch Jensen after such a long time apart, and that Jensen accepts his caresses. “They've been fed you're in critical condition, but stable. I guess your doctors don't want to take any chances you could relapse.”

“mmm-hmm...” Jensen blinks to close his lids, but then flashes them open again to peer up at Jared. He likes how unafraid Jared is of getting moisture soaked through his clothes. His face is sweating just as much as Jensen's has started to. “...you here for good?” He reaches up to wipe away some droplets.

Jared snatches the hand, bringing it to his face, keeping the skin pressed to his cheek. “I'm here, whether you want me to be or not. Making sure you're all right and on the mend.” He spreads the single hand over his own, making sure to look at how they've had to cut back the fingernails to the nailbeds. Just one small tiny detail, but yet another thing about Jensen that has to change in order to survive. “It's keeping me from killing that Alpha for you with my bare hands.”

Jensen brings out his other hand, fingers tracing up the hairy forearm. “...such beautiful strong hands that don't need to become violent.”

Jared flinches a little like he's been slapped. “How else should I react as your Alpha?'

“Jared...” Jensen lets a smile eek out, but he does look around to see if anyone has heard him.

“Stop denying it—please.” Jared drops the hand he was holding, sufficing with the one Jensen has been touching his arm with. He dips low to keep their conversations private, between only them. “You know they won't have another Gallantry fight until the investigation proves the Gridiron in the clear and that the High Alphas had no part in this situation.”

Jensen furrows his brow in bewilderment, frowning as he begins to think of what might be going through Jared's mind. “Are you a conspiracy theorist?”

Jared shakes his head, letting out a shaky laugh. “Too many coincidences and proof that the arena and the royal High Alphas had some idea this was a 'made-for-TV-never-to-be-forgotten' event.”

“What?” Jensen snorts out a hard laugh, pushing away from the rim of the tub to float somewhere in the center. He raises an eyebrow in question. “Kill the Alamani in front of millions of loyal viewers?”

“Stranger things have happened.” Jared mutters out as he leans on the edge, dipping his hand in the water to play at the surface.

“I've got nothing they want.” Jensen sputters out with a whisper to his voice, shaking his head in complete disagreement. “My life is just as it appears, nothing special.”

“Maybe that's just it.” Jared blurts out without even glancing at Jensen.

“What?” Jensen looks concerned, wondering what Jared means.

“Force you to lose.” As Jared explains, he gives short glances to Jensen, but continues to drag his fingers through the bubbling water. “Make it so you mated to any Alpha and they could wipe you off their radar as the Alamani.”

“Oh, Jared.” Jensen wades over to slide to Jared's side, cupping his cheek then the strong chin. “I hardly think my options are 'mate or die'.” He laughs slightly, feeling a bit of some residual fear creeping in on him. He's not even going to mention Fessick's ominous words, because he's not going to think the Bearer had some deeper insight into a supernatural realm. Jensen hooks his bent arm over the tub rim.

Jared turns to face Jensen, leaving his hand in the water, left hand's fingers hooked off the tub edge. “Someone from on high seems to think you're in the way of something. So...” He closes one lid to look up at the ceiling as he's slowly figuring things out, from inside his head. “...the Alpha had no idea ingesting and coating his skin with this Yahya flower herb—whatever—would come close to killing you. He obviously meant to just knock you out, enough to get you unswathed to knot.”

“—jesus.” Jensen pushes off the tub in frustration, hating how much sense Jared is making. “You're either naturally paranoid or...you really don't like my pack.”

“That matters less when it's actually some of your pack who don't like you—an' I'm not talking about in the High Alphas.” Jared walks along the side of the tub, not letting go of his harebrained theory. “Someone had to convince this Alpha, who almost killed you, that you needed to be harmed or...worse.”

With the slam open of one side to a double door paneling, Christian wanders through with a nurse in tow. “...jesus christ...this night's just gone from bad to worse.” He's rubbing quite hard over the middle of his forehead. He's pulled back his long dark tresses into a leather tie, but too many tendrils have escaped and frame his chiseled face. Where before, earlier in the night, the Alpha had been having the time of his life with friends, his co-workers and his mate, laughing and busting chops and carrying on like there was nothing tragic left in their world, now he looks every bit of his age, and then some.

“What now?”  
“...what now?”

Jensen and Jared look to one another, smirking as they speak in near unison, but then they grow equally as serious when they turn back to look to Christian and his nurse.

 

**== &&==&&==&&==**   
**TBC...**


	10. Chapter 10

Christian glances around, not liking the fact of all these pack members hanging about, most of them not doing anything. “Everybody out! Lorna and I have this one covered. Thank you!” He waits until the room is cleared; Lorna follows to lock the doors behind them. “They just brought in Farrack and Fessick's courting Alpha, Toran.”

“Wha—? Where's Fessick?” Jensen rises to his knees, leaning over the ledge of the tub.

“Animal control had to subdue him.” Christian slowly nods his head as both Jared and Jensen stare at with wide eyes of stunned shock. “He shifted to his wolf form, took some swipes at Toran.”

“Holy shi—” Jensen covers his mouth, then his whole face.

“Why would he try to hurt his courting Alpha?” Jared wrinkles his forehead in confusion.

Christian glances over at Jared. “Because Farrack got into the ring and physically pulled Toran off Fessick.” He then turns his gaze on Jensen. “Seems your Alpha wasn't the only one to ingest the Yahya.”

“Oh, good God!” Jensen now covers his face with both hands.

“What the fuck is going on, man?!” Jared is shaking his head at how completely fucked this whole night has been. “And why didn't they cancel the last bout when they knew this whole thing had gone down with Jensen's fight?”

Christian shrugs his shoulders. “Seems to me they assumed it was an isolated event.” He clears his throat and uncaps his pen. “Fessick won't turn back. And Farrack is clinging to life, just like you had been, Jen. And now I have a Ferae Alpha with half his face mangled.”

“christ...it's like a living nightmare.” Jensen swallows nervously, shaking his head at what could've gone so wrong. “Duncan...” He rises up to reach for Christian's lab coat sleeve. “Please tell me Duncan's all right.”

Christian nods his head, letting out a brief smile. “Duncan's fine. Just resting up on the ward with his new mate.”

“H-h-he lost?” Jensen had known this would be the case, but it still packs a wallop since he had some hope.

“Actually, I think if you asked him, he feels like he won.” Christian gives off a light laugh, hoping to get a smile of some sort out of Jensen. “His Alpha, Jemal, is doting on him, of course. And...I'm not sure they know what's gone on with you and the twins.”

“And Farrack? He won his bout, right?”

“Yeah, but...peculiar thing was that when he left his own bout a winner, he ended up entering his brother's match to save him, putting his own life in danger.” Christian had been watching the looped footage on the new ESPN 4 channel as they were covering this story from tonight non-stop. He had left the arena with Jensen and Vince in the ambulance. “Well, not just his life but shifted the possibility of being mated. He had became aroused and Toran locked into that once Fessick was thrown off his scent.” As he tells the story, he can detect the utter shock and amazement coming at him. “The poison took longer to consume Farrack because of his size and bulk. Luckily, though, before Toran could take Farrack, they got in there with the Ketamine gun—this time through the cage itself, but very unlucky that it was right when Fessick took the random swipes at Toran's face.”

“Oh, no...” Jensen hangs his head, hands now scrubbing over his entire head as he bows over folded arms. He knows that the Gallantry arena is going to be shut down and his Alpha Bearers might never have a means to hold the final courting ritual with their Alphas.

Christian waits to allow everything to sink in and then he begins, “Vince is in charge of Farrack's care, which is why he's not here and you get me.” He gives off a crooked, broad smile, hoping that this pleases them somewhat. “Thought you'd be our only 'poisoned by Yahya' patient tonight. So Vinnie's fully invested in saving Farrack.”

“Jesus, man.” Jared shakes his head as he leans back on the tub's shape, then peers over at Jensen, who stares at him with wide green eyes. “Now do you believe me?”

Jensen is still flummoxed at what's all taken place; everything done so underhanded and behind his back when he thought he had a freedom from High Alphas interfering. “You think they wanted this kind of violent display on-screen?” He would comprehend it more if they had done it to simply implode the ritualistic aspect of Bearers finding their mates, rather than killing off a few random Alpha Bearers in one night.

Jared turns to settle the length of his left arm along the tub ledge. “I'd be more interested in talking to Jemal, Duncan's Alpha, and see if he saw or heard anything beforehand in the locker room.”

“The cameras that followed me weren't in the Alpha locker room?” Jensen wrinkles his brow in deep thought as he tilts his head to look at Jared and Christian.

“No.” Jared shakes his head, tucking his right hand into a trouser pocket. “Well, not so you could see everything.” He blinks to glance at Christian, hoping he'll supply a different more in-depth answer.

Christian starts to jot some notes on a few pages from Jensen's chart he has on a clipboard. “How you doin', Champ?” He reaches over to rub over Jensen's shorn hair. 

Jensen bows his head, letting out a soft snorted laugh. “Better, but I'm still a little groggy, weary some.” His index and middle finger move over one side of his face. “Vision came back a little more on the left, but the right is still fuzzy.”

“Eh, that'll wear off in time. When we get you back to your hospital room, we'll draw more blood, get another urine sample—-just checking how much of the poison still remains, if any.” Christian glances at Jared with a lift of his eyebrow. “You wanna be responsible for him while he's here?”

“Yes. I do.” Jared isn't even going to look at Jensen or let him deny him the right.

“Good.” Christian clicks his pen to start writing down in particular spots who will be “caretaker of” Jensen Ross Ackles for his remaining stay. “Then I'll specify you're his 'caretaker' in his chart. Holds a little more weight than 'mate' at the moment.” He lifts his head to look between Jared and Jensen to explain why he made the specific change this time. “People are want to judge if you even utter the words 'mated Alpha'.” 

“Thanks, Chris.” Jared mumbles as he pushes off the tub, holding out his hand in offering.

“Not a problem.” Christina takes that hand, giving it a strong shake, then proceeds to gently pat the tip of Jensen's nose as he puts away his pen in his lab coat pocket. “Vinnie's got Farrack...now, I gotta go back down to Toran, get him a plastic surgeon consult.”

Jensen clears his throat, his heart going out to the Azul brothers and Toran. “Is it really as bad as I'm assuming, Chris?”

“No.” Christian gives Jensen a soft smile of reassurance. “I may have exaggerated for effect, but claws to the face ain't no joke.”

“How is Toran, otherwise?” Jared swipes over half of his face, rubbing at his jaw.

Christian hands Lorna the clipboard as he folds his arms over his chest, frowning deep. “Thankfully, he's no longer aroused, so he's not erect or swollen. But he is coming to some hard truths as his memory is less hazy.”

“Keep us posted on Farrack.”

“Sure will.” Christian nods his head, then gives off a side two-finger salute toward both Jared and Jensen. “I'll tell Vince to talk to you all, once you're in the room.” He and Lorna make a break for it, telling Jensen to soak for another ten to fifteen minutes.

It's quiet once Jared and Jensen are left alone. Jared leans on the tub, Jensen keeps giving him curious side-glances. 

Jensen sidles closer to Jared to be near an ear to be heard over the noise of the tub. “Tell me what you're thinking?”

“Why?” Jared looks down, giving out a hard snort. “You already think I'm certifiable.”

“I don't. I just don't see how you can go from...” Jensen puts out one hand then stretches out the other about arm's length to show an extreme spectrum of ideas. “...an Alpha wants to gain the upper hand over me to me being involved in some huge murder conspiracy...”

“I've been too long in the real world.” Jared looks at Jensen under lowered lids, want to roll them because Jensen may be as old as him but so unwise to the big wide world outside of these Ferae compound walls. “I've seen the worst in packs and people. Your Ferae High Alphas are just now finding out ways to be cruel and sinister.”

Jensen lifts a hand out of the water to just touch Jared, but Jared swivels to practically heft Jensen out of the water as he embraces him tight, to the point of Jensen not being able to breathe.

“oh, god...Jay...” Jensen knows this is a different hold than Jared's ever given him: this is one of want and need, one of deep desire and possibly satisfying a craving. Jensen doesn't know what to do or where to place his arms and hands. He tries to mimic Jared's touch of him, somewhere on the slope of his back, still clothed. Jensen had never been held by someone who loved the human in him, never felt a lover's caress or even a proper kiss. As Jared's hands sculpt down his naked body, right at the upper curves of his ass cheeks, he buries the face with the hot breath against the neck, giving a small lurch and cry. There's a twitch to his cock, a tingling to his clitoris. Jensen wants Jared to touch him again like he had the last time, needed him to help him achieve another orgasm, dual, if possible. Then he feels the soft kisses to his pulsating neck vein and the nuzzling of his shoulder niche.

“I don't know what I'd have done if I had lost you—” Jared breathes against the wet skin. “—don't know what I'd do having to see you with another Alpha...” He keeps nudging against the neck, along the smooth shoulder bone, laying his cheek down. “...let him breed you, take his seed into your womb and make you grow with his 'pup'...”

Jensen shuts his eyes, letting Jared's words flow over him. He can't imagine any other Alpha putting his hand on him the way Jared does.

“—now...” Jared lets out a long laugh as he keeps his head bowed though he lifts off Jensen's shoulder. “I'm not sure I can deal with a world without you alive an kickin' Alpha butt.”

Jensen chuckles, softly punching Jared's biceps. “I'm not supposed to even be alive. Not this long. Every day I'm still here is a gift.”

Jared simply stares into wide green eyes, intently wondering if Jensen has any idea how maddening he can be. “See, do you know how fuckin' heartbreakin' that is for me? You go through so much shit...” One arm still around Jensen, he uses the other hand to finger comb through his hair. “...you were accidentally poisoned today and, I've yet to see you pissed or angry.”

“It's why I have passionate Alphas like you...” Jensen still hangs off Jared's body, liking the feel of being held, even though there's a huge metal wall of tub between them. “...and the rest of them, who hold me in high regard.” He brings a wet hand up to gently touch Jared's cheek. “I get nothing from negative energy and feelings. I certainly find I get more results if I'm compassionate and give council.”

“Fuck!” Jared closes his eyes as he feels Jensen's skin against his stubble. He opens his lids to stare into intense green. “You're planning to go see this Alpha, aren't you?”

“I might.” Jensen shrugs one shoulder. He's given plenty of council to Ferae Alpha in lock-ups and in solitary. “Depends on how well I am and what happens to him. If I'm allowed, I think I will.”

Jared places his hands around the shape of Jensen's head, then as he leans in to merge their foreheads, he slides down to cup the face. “I would love to be inside your head for a day. To have your heart and your courage. Your capacity for forgiveness and trying to see the 'good' in everyone astounds me.” He wants to say more but it would simply be waxing poetic and sound too much like a seduction technique. So he licks his lips wet and pushes on, “You really didn't fly off the cuff on Connor on a whim, just 'cuz you're Alpha an' you caught him in a mistake? He truly did hurt you?”

It continues to astound Jensen how much clear insight this Alpha has into his mind. “I worked so hard to get him to stop worrying about his family—trust in me, in Terza.” He lifts his hands to mess with Jared's shirt collar, tugging on the tie. “He had us all convinced.”

Jared nudges against Jensen's face, then lightly kisses the flushed sweating skin. Jensen brings up his fingers to touch those lips...lips he wishes would make a sudden move a few inches over and take his mouth. 

Jared starts to breathe heavy, his pulse increasing. “You ever been kissed properly?”

“I've never wanted another's lips on mine more than I do yours...” Jensen moves to touch his own lips, lightly licking fingertips. “...I taste you.”

“...jesus, you fuckin' kill me.”

Just then, two nurses come in to tend to Jensen. 

Jared reluctantly takes his arms, and his body, away. He can see the need in those deepening green eyes. “...later, I swear.” He means in the hospital room, once they're alone again.

Jensen nods his head, letting the nurses work on draining the tub and getting him dried off in a hurry, then clothed in another hospital gown, this time with a thin pair of drawstring pants. He knows they've seen male nudity before, but it's different when it's their sacred Alamani. Jensen sits in the wheelchair that they had brought and everyone heads out to the hall, on their way to the second floor to get into another private suite. Not on the Maternity ward, but in ICU [ Intensive Care Unit ], where Jensen can have one-on-one care with a single nurse on a twelve-hour shift.

The nurse manager, and Jensen's own nurse, come to meet him and all four work to put him into bed, getting an IV started and then have the blood drawn quick. They leave the urine sample cup for Jensen to fill when he's able, but sometime before seven in the morning; it's almost forty-five minutes to midnight. They inquire if Jensen is hungry or thirsty. Once he gives them a quipped answer, they trot out of the room, leaving Jensen alone again with Jared, who pulls the privacy curtain around the bed. Jared moves to sit bedside on the stretcher, close to Jensen's left thigh. The head of the bed is at a 45-degree angle and both plastic railings are up.

“Haven't we been here before?” Jared leans in to plant his hand on the mattress, on Jensen's right side, bringing up his own left leg to dangle the foot off the edge.

Jensen laughs softly through his nostrils, then reaches out to clamp his hand on Jared's thigh. He sighs, twisting his head away to close his lids. “I hate how tired I feel. I'm never this way.”

Jared brushes the back of his left hand over the pink cheek. “You've got more color, less gray.”

Jensen swings his head back to look at Jared. “Duncan took his mate.” He's simply reiterating what they've both heard.

Jared takes it as more than fact as Jensen seems to want to say more to what it means for him. “He must've felt it was his time.”

“He worried greatly that I would hate him, if he lost.” Jensen gives off a sad smile, shaking his head. “Seems my gut feeling was right. He wanted to lose... he really likes Jemal.” He clears his throat, lowering his gaze. “Jemal was fascinated by Duncan, so I have no doubt the mating wasn't as scary as Duncan feared it would be.”

“Do you wanna hear my opinion?” Jared still traces the shape of the strong jaw. “Let me tell you what I could see with my own eyes.” He knows Jensen will need details in order to feel better, but the intensity of how much better Jensen will feel is all relative to how alone and lonely he feels without Duncan to go home to. 

“If you think I need to know right this second.” Jensen begins to soothe up and down Jared's thick biceps, tucking fingers under the rolled cuff. “Duncan will let me know when I see him.”

“Not tonight, I hope?”

“No...m'kinda sleepy.” Jensen is feeling really warm and cozy with Jared smooshed against him, his leg on him and hovering above in such a way to shadow over his body. “Feel like my limbs aren't even mine.” He comically shows Jared how rubbery his whole arms feel; he can't even move his legs as they've been put cock-eyed and stretched out in such a way that's most comfortable for him to sleep in.

“They told me they had induced as much waste and bodily fluids from you as they could. I should get you some ice chips and water.” Jared unhinges himself from the bed to find the bucket and pitcher; he's close enough to the bed for Jensen to reach out and snag his arm. “What?” He sits down on the mattress. “...tell me.”

“...thank you for—you know. I can be difficult and...I don't think I say the right things, leading you to believe that I don't care for you, but I do.” Jensen starts playing with the material of the sleeve of the arm he snagged. He closes his eyes. “I so do, in the worst of ways. I'm—it's not easy for me to let anyone in, not when they want to barge in.” He licks his lips, biting his bottom one to glance up at Jared's shadowed features. “I like to do the pursuing. I can't—ugh...” Jensen rubs a hand over his weary face, pressing into his forehead. “...see, I can't even get through this without fumbling...”

“You're doing fine. I know what you wanna say. I can be...in-your-face and relentless.” Jared shakes his head and laughs at himself. “If I had a clearer idea you were Omega, it would be less aggravating. You'd be receptive to me. And I doubt I would have to work so hard to get you to like me.”

“I had no idea I was this bad until you.” Jensen juts a finger into Jared's chest, like he blames him, never knowing he could talk this out with an Alpha, to explain things and actually expound on reasons why he was the way he had been for years. And that the Alpha would take what he said with a grain of salt and think that things could be different; they didn't have to always be the same. “I'm not sure I even want another Ferae Alpha to come near me right now.”

“Well, that's good, because I believe I heard they've shut down the Gallantry indefinitely.” Jared pauses, waiting for Jensen to soak it in. “Pending investigations.”

Jensen shuts his eyes, knowing this was possibly the High Alpha's plan all along. “oh, well...” He gives off a nervous laugh, trying to pull at the covers. “I guess that's good. Especially with—god...” He rubs a hand over his forehead, moving his hand back to scrape over his shorter locks. “...poor Farrack and Fessick...” He lets the hand fall weakly to his chest to rub over his heart. “...and Toran. I think I met him once. Sweet Alpha. He's been a friend of the Azul family for years, knowing the twins since they were out of puberty age.”

“How was it possible that Farrack actually became aroused by Toran?” Jared finds this most peculiar, but only slightly.

“Farrack informed me that Toran had courted him once and lost.”

“ahhh...” Jared nods his head in better understanding, folding his arms over his chest. “So Farrack may have had dormant feelings and a residual attraction?”

“Seems like it. I feel awful for Fessick most of all.” Jensen relaxes back on the pillow, looking at Jared as he talks, “He liked Toran and...Toran, I know, felt much the same. It was easy to tell during their courtship meetings how much Toran doted on Fessick and...well, Fessick is so used to being looked after because of his older brother.”

“Being identical twins I'm sure everyone thinks Toran was still trying to 'win' Farrack as his mate.”

“yeah, well...it's too late to dispute that now. I wonder if Toran recalls anything beyond the start of the bout. He could believe that he's actually taken Farrack's purity and foregone Fessick's. Then it's a possibility that Farrack will or won't recall, if he fought his way to stay alert and fight off Toran.” Jensen feels chills run down his spine at having bore witness to this tragedy on-screen. He doubts that the cameras turned away once, if it was being broadcast live all over the country. “The thing is...where does this leave the three of them? Back to square one?”

“I wonder how Toran ingested the Vahya.” Jared has averted his head, staring at the floor as he's letting things Jensen says sink in and his own thoughts permeate. “Or maybe he was slipped a dose and didn't know.”

“What was Farrack's Alpha like?” Jensen crinkles his brow in wonder.

“All right, I suppose.” Jared gives one shoulder a shrug. “He did seem slightly tipsy, if not a bit too boastful and rowdy. Like he was drunk off his gourd. Made him a perfect target to lose. Farrack had him down by the 10-count.”

“That could've been when Farrack was first exposed. If his Alpha drank a similar ale or wine from the same jug that Toran did.”

“Jemal is our 'key', though.” Jared stands and squeezes Jensen's hand, leaning over to buss a light kiss on the newly shaved head. “You look devastating with this nearly bald-look.” He playfully rubs his palm over the half-inch buzz cut, laughing when Jensen tries to swat him away.

“No one will recognize me as myself.”

“No more Christ-like Jesus hair.”

“mmm-yeah...nor my Christ-like physique.” Jensen does a small display of his thinning body under the sheets, though there's still a residual tone to his entire frame.

“Eh, remind me to compliment you on how beautiful your body is later.”

“Didn't you just 'compliment' me?”

“Oh, no, no...I meant—let me worship at its fine-ass altar. I'll be right back.” Jared holds up the pitcher and bucket.

Jensen can't help blushing and lightly chuckling. He shuts his eyes briefly, only wanting to sleep for a few minutes. Jared manages to return to a softly snoring, heavily leaning-to-the-left Jensen; he's about to teeter over to the side railing. Jared presses the button to lower the railing, then lowers the head of the stretcher. Jensen starts to wiggle around and adjust himself, drawing up the blanket hems to his shoulders. He wearily turns his head to look up at Jared. “I'm glad you're here.”

“uh-huh...” Jared just thinks it's going to be another “thanks” comment, which is nice but there could be a better way to convey his thankfulness. He balls his hands into fists, leaning on the mattress.

“I missed you while we were apart.”

Jared hadn't been expecting that comment to come out of Jensen. “You did?” He bites the inside of his cheek to stem his true feelings, or he'd dance around with joy and excitement.

“You were the one thing I had to look forward to today.”

“Oh, yeah...our 'date'.” Jared rolls his eyes. That whole plan went horribly awry.

“Yup...our 'date'.” Jensen raises his hand to pet down Jared's chest. “You got dressed up and put on your han'some face for me.” He can only reach up as far as Jared's jutting chin. “I hope I get a rain-check on this night.”

Jared smirks with a wink to his eye. “I think I could manage that for you.” He lowers his body to almost squat near the tiled floor; he means to be level with Jensen's face.

Jensen slides his hand up to cup the warm neck. “Did you get my 'messages' to you?”'

Jared covers the hand on his skin, leaning on the arm extended. “You mean those private hand signals over your heart?”

“yeah...stupid, huh? Was simply my way of keeping you with me—protecting me...” Jensen lets his fingers tug and twist the ends of the dark brown strands. His eyes begin to water, making him blink fast. “...thank you for saving me...”

“Jen...” Jared closes his eyes to sigh as he kisses the palm of the hand he holds. “It wasn't just me...”

“No, I know, but if I hadn't been preoccupied with you, wanting my bout over quickly and won, I never would've been focused on how different my Alpha scented or sounded. He may have gotten the better of me sooner and...I wouldn't be here—touching you.”

Jared nearly chokes on a hard swallow as he rises from his low position to place his left hand on Jensen's throat, holding his head steady as he hovers only mere seconds before he takes a gentle yet hard possession of Jensen's mouth. He feels Jensen flinch and try to struggle away briefly, but when he soothes the neck, up to the face, moving his own head to find a different angle, where Jensen can curl his arm around his neck and shoulders, the changes make it much better, less overpowering and scary. 

Jared cups Jensen's cheek and pushes deep and deeper to taste and nibble. He finally pulls back, out of breath and a little woozy. “I knew you'd learn fast. An' sleepy kisses are the best.” He nudges noses to let Jensen catch some air.

“mmm...I liked it. Better than I had thought.” As Jared draws back, his arms snakes backward, but before it leaves completely, Jensen touches the jaw, thumb playing at the dip of the chin at the bottom lip. “Might like it again—later. This'll give me nice dreams.”

“Go to sleep, Jen. I'll wake you when the food shows.” Jared tugs the lone chair up to the bedside; as he sits, he leans heavy on the mattress. 

Jensen slinks down, on his left side and tucks an arm under his pillow to curl and huddle around Jared. He gradually falls back to sleep, using the hand of his left arm to comb through Jared's hair and soothe over a portion of the back he can reach, while Jared flips through whatever was on TV at this time of night. With Jensen softly snoring in his ear, Jared's able to find that the satellite hook-up for the room carries ESPN 4—The Fourth Sect, and they seem to be running a loop of what occurred—whatever their cameras had caught on tape—while running a ticker-tape on the bottom portion of the screen of news updates. 

Jared finds it curious that they still hold the Alamani's medical condition as “critical”. They splice in some outdoor footage of the Alamani's devoted followers as they leave the arena in complete and utter shock, some having to be taken in and seen by medics for fainting or being unable to catch their breath—hyper-ventilating to almost passing out. Now there's different shots of the followers holding vigil outside the hospital on the grass, as far as hospital security will allow them. They've set up several altars of worship, just places where people can post their letters of good will and peace and “personal gifts” of well-wishing to the Alamani. It's disquieting to think that it's all toward the man lying in the bed, under the covers right beside him, and he's not even awake to see any of this happening. Maybe that was a good thing.

There's a soft knock on the paneling and Jared stares down at Jensen, then he lowers the volume, changing the channel to something a bit more uplifting, throwing down the remote as he wanders around the privacy curtain to head to the door. He opens it, using the handle, startled by the nearly 6ft 7 towering Alpha filling the doorway.

“Jemal, right?” There's no mistaking the Ferae Alpha is who Jared suspects. He sends out an encouraging smile, squeezing through the automatically shutting door as it closes. 

Tawny eyes narrow on Jared's face. “Yes. Do I know you?”

“No.” Jared holds out his hand, not sure why, but he's comforted and not intimidated by the huge bulk of Ferae Alpha or the stunning good looks. The eyes alone bore holes in him. Jemal smells less like he had thought one of the pack's Alphas would scent. In fact, he smells fantastic and freshly showered. He wears normal clothing for him as a Ferae Alpha and somewhere on him are pieces of Duncan's own garb. “I'm Jared. I'm, uh...well, for right now, I'm Jensen's caretaker.”

Jemal bows his head. “...jesus...how bad is he? Duncan's going insane with worry.”

“oh, geez...” Jared pats the big bicep, feeling a solid wall of muscle under his hand. “...c'mon...come in.” He ushers the Alpha inside. “Go ahead, peek around the corner.” He keeps talking as Jemal wanders past him, holding the door open with his backside. “He's asleep right now, but he's not 'critical', like they keep saying.”

Jemal turns before he rounds the curtain. “We knew nothing of what happened after we left. In the room, Duncan wished to see the footage on the te-vee screen, and then...they show nothing but all the tragedy that happened while we were—”

Jared places a hand on Jemal's heaving chest. “Whoa, man...easy, huh? Easy now...jus' move the curtain a little an' see for yourself.” He points in the direction the Alpha should head but he literally looks about to shatter if he should find anything different and Jared is a big fat liar.

Jemal slowly comes around the thick curtain, then wanders up to the bed. He's shaking a bit as he sits down in Jared's vacated chair, then puts out a quivering hand to touch the shaved head. “Oh, my—Al'mani...what have they done to you.” Jemal bends to kiss the hand Jensen has stuck out.

Jared folds his arms, coming up to the footboard as he furrows his brow. “He means a lot to you?”

“He means the world to my mate—Duncan. The meetings we had...” Jemal shakes his head, taking a hard swallow of the saliva choking his throat. “...he gives his heart so freely, yet takes nothing for himself.” He rubs over the shorter hair. “I have to admit, I never cry.” It was very clear the Alpha was shedding some tears, but very few; ones he could wipe away quickly, but he allows them to fall of their own freewill. “Last time I truly cried was when I lost my mate. I wanna cry but for joy. He is simply asleep.” He can now see how deeply Jensen is taking even breaths.

“yeah, man...Jen wanted to come up an' see Duncan later, once he's slept a bit, got some food in him.” Jared rolls his hands around, then grips the edge of the footboard.

“Duncan will be relieved. I would've brought him, but...he needs bedrest.”

“I'm learning that.” Jared dips his head to catch the Alpha's gaze as he keeps his head bowed and concentrates on Jensen's sleeping features. “Congratulations, Jemal...Duncan will be a good mate for you.”

Jemal lets a smirk slip out of half his mouth, a little bashful as he glances toward Jared. “We are not certain yet, if we carry, but I am hopeful.” He swallows, lightly scratching at the top of Jensen's head. “He is a better mate than most because of Jensen. I owe him my full support and loyalty for as long as he is willing to take it.”

“I think as long as you love and protect Duncan, Jensen won't want for much else.”

Jensen startles awake, his mouth wanting to form Jared's name, but all he sees is Jemal's face. “Oh...Jemal...” He rises off his left hand to one arm hug the huge Alpha to his chest as Jemal quietly sobs into his gown; Jensen sheds his own tears with him. “I am fine, Alpha...I'm fine...I promise you. I'm going to be fine.” He cups the back of the Alpha's head, brushing through the blunt cuts then rubs over the nape to the expanse of back. “Tell me good news, Jemal...talk to me about Duncan...”

Jared steps back, moving away to lean on a far wall; his eyes stare at Jensen. He should be jealous of how Jensen will not stop touching Jemal, but he notices all too quickly that not only does Jensen take his Alpha Bearers under his wings, but their courting Alphas as well. He bets the gruff and grumpy Ferae Alphas have never known a kind word or a gentle caress, not even a warm friendly embrace. During those meetings, Jensen must click with every Alpha who wins his mated Bearer. Jared hasn't paid much attention to anything Jemal tells about he and Duncan's bout. It's fascinating to watch Jemal actually smile and look ecstatic. Jensen finds it difficult not to be just as enthused as Jemal is to have knotted his mate.

“I can tell you are even more pleased there might be a 'pup' this early.”

“They allowed us to couple after our match, in a more private setting, away from cameras and such. I have no doubts that Duncan will be carrying very soon.”

“I am happy for both of you.” Jensen cups the Alpha's face, kissing both cheeks. “Tell Duncan I will see him in a few hours.”

“I will. Blessings to you, Al'mani.”

“Please, Jemal...'Jensen' or 'Jen'. You are family now.”

“hehehe, okay. I will try.” Jemal stands to approach Jared. “May I talk with you outside?”

“uh, yeah...of course” Jared looks at Jensen. “I'll be right back, Jen.” He follows Jemal out the door and leans on one of the doorjambs. “What's on your mind?”

“Jensen's incident...” Jemal turns swiftly as the door latches behind Jared. “...and, uhm, the unfortunate ending to the Twins and Toran. It all leaves me quite—troubled.”

“Jensen hates my theory.” Jared makes a sour face that leave Jemal curious.

“Which is?”

“Someone was out to get him.” Jared lets his head look about so he is certain no other ears listen in on their conversation. Everyone seems busy and in their own element. “Not kill him as much as mate him with a dreary Alpha to get him out of the way, do with him what he would've had they mated. This whole inclusion of the Gridiron and Gallantry on millions of TV screens...” He waves both of his hands back and forth in the air to show how wishy-washy the whole “improvement” had appeared to be.

“It's all to distract from what's actually going on.” Jemal supplies as he looks away in deep thought.

“Jensen won't hear of it.”

Jemal smirks with a knowing snort. “Even almost-dying isn't swaying his good heart.”

“Can you shed any light on this?” Here is Jared's chance to get some sort of background story straight from someone honest and true, loyal to Jensen.

“Yes.” Jemal bounces his head once, then tucks hands under his arm pits as he trudges on to explain quite simply and straightforward, “The Alpha who pretended to be Jensen's gave us a drink each. I do not drink. Toran had my portion, plus his own. Then...I found a bottle of body oil, left on a shelf near a mirror. I nearly put it on, but when I sniffed it beforehand, it gave me an instant allergic reaction. I have no doubt whatsoever that every Alpha was supposed to be roped into this whole charade, anything to hide the fact that they wanted to single-out Jensen's bout.”

“Well, thank you.” Jared sighs, wiping the side of his face. “You confirmed what I had thought.”

“What is your plan?” Jemal lifts his chin, almost snarling out his question, showing he's willing to be Jared's sidekick in busting some sneaky Alpha balls, even if they belong to the High Alphas—maybe.

“I want to castrate that mother fucker.”

Jemal nods his head and smiles wide. “I can go with that. I know several keepers down where the holding cells are.”

“—but, Jensen wants to see...to visit this a-hole.”

Jemal smiles even wider. “He wouldn't be the Al'mani if he didn't feel compassion.”

Jared averts his head as he shakes it wildly, then looks down at the floor. “I have a feeling we'll be standing in a long line to get to this Alpha.”

“I feel worse for Toran and Farrack...” Jemal understands the seriousness of what they have to fight for—not just jensen but everyone who suffered from this night. “Duncan told me about Fessick, too. They certainly did not deserve this fate handed to them.”

“They were simply caught in the crossfire.” Jared glances at Jemal and catches those tawny eyes again.

“I do not like how this makes me feel.” Jemal moves a hand over the area above his chest, like he's about ready to heave his lungs to catch air. “I thought Jensen was safe and now...he cannot stay here while they look into the incident.”

Jared takes a nervous swallow; he never even thought of that risk, bringing Jensen here. “What do you think we should do, then?”

“I have no idea, but the farther away he is...the better the perspective, for everyone involved.”

“He can come home with me.” Jared detects by Jemal's slow nod that this seems to agree with the Alpha. “I'll bring him out of the Ferae compound and—maybe I can convince him to take a vacation or a, uh...sabbatical in the City with me.”

“It'll get worse here before it ever gets better.” Jemal moves closer to Jared's breathing space, using his index finger to point toward Jared's chest, but never manages to touch him. It still makes an impact that unsettles Jared into thinking Jensen is still in some kind of danger if he remains here. “He won't be able to handle all the outpouring of love and support, all the grief and heartbreak his followers have suffered since they thought he was dead in the ring and now clings to life.”

“Jesus...you're right.” Jared slides a hand over the side of his face, then lets the hand curl about his neck to his nape. “It might be best if we sneak him out of here with only a few pack aware and very little staff in cahoots. He's going to want to comfort and hold every single fucking one of them—I know it.”

“Whatever you decide...” Jemal reaches out to latch his huge paw around Jared's arm in a surprisingly tender grip. “—I am here to help.”

“Thanks, Jemal.”

“Anytime. I should be getting back to my mate or he will start to fret over me.” Jemal gives a single nod of his head, clamps a hand on Jared's shoulder to squeeze as he turns to retreat down the hall as if he was never here.

Jared watches the Ferae Alpha leave, then notices one of the CNAs is coming toward him to give Jensen his meal and drink. The young pack member looks a bit frightened, if not truly intimidated just by Jared alone, so Jared smiles as nice as he can with the emotions inside of him churning, to push open the door. He takes his sweet time coming around the curtain, only to give the pack 'cub' some time with the Alamani. When he strolls around the dangling hemmed material, Jared positions himself at the foot of the stretcher. 

Both he and Jensen watch the CNA doing as much as she can for Jensen before she has to leave.

Jensen lays there, swallowing several times, looking about as uncomfortable as one can when they're treated like a God-like presence, even though they feel like complete shit and utterly human to boot. He begins to breathe again once she's bolted out of the room, leaving him to stare at the ceiling. “All that nervousness and preparation, I hated to tell her I had need of the bedpan.”

Jared snorts out a hard laugh, on the move to pull the bedside table out from the bed. “You don't wanna try and make it to the bathroom?”

“In a heartbeat, but...I have all these extra wires attached to me.” Jensen watches Jared going in search of a bedpan, luckily he does find one stored away in the bedside table. Jensen has pushed off his blankets, tugging down the waistband of his thin pants, then rolling to the right side as Jared squares the plastic shape in a general area of where he thinks Jensen will land once he rolls back over. They help ease Jensen's bottom down as he's still a little sore from all the time spent on the toilet earlier trying to expel all that Go-Lightly he had consumed. Jared lifts the gown's hem to open the thighs a bit and fixes the flaccid shaft to point downward between the legs. “It's becoming a habit...pissing in front of you.”

Jared grins an airy laugh, then rubs Jensen's shoulder. “You're my first.”

Jensen gives a hearty laugh at that, then relaxes and lets the urine flow freely out of his body. It's a longer stream than he had any idea he'd let out.

“I guess we should be pleased that you don't scent this Vahya stuff. Maybe that means it's fully out of your system.” Jared enters the bathroom, wets a dry cloth and returns to help Jensen's climb off the bedpan. He wipes at the raw skin of backside. “How does your bottom feel?” 

“Sore and tight. I don't think I've shit so much in my life.” Jensen laughs along with Jared as he adds, “I've never heard of a more inept name for a product either. I didn't 'go lightly' at all.”

Jared soothes his hand over the redness. “How does my hand feel?”

Jensen holds on tight to the railing. “...good...nice.”

“I should find some lotion and rub some over this area while you're laying down.”

Once the bedpan is gone, put aside to possibly fill that urine sample cup, Jensen flips back over, grabbing for Jared's wrist. “I need to ask you something.” He butterflies his knees, opening the apex of his legs to be wiped and cleaned. He likes touching Jared as he touches him intimately, even if it is something as non-sexual as washing him down around his genitals.

“What?” Jared clears his throat, pulling Jensen's legs back together, helping to work the pants back up and under the bottom to loosely tie the drawstring and then yanks down the gown.

“If these labs show I may still have some of the toxic herb inside, they made a small mention that I might have to, uhm...” Jensen clears his throat, licking his lips as he takes tentative glances at Jared. “...pleasure myself. I've not secreted slick or semen, which would be the last bit of waste to release from my body that could be still carry the poison.”

Jared tugs the blankets over Jensen's lap and presses the button to raise the head of the bed. “You want my help?” He lifts a peculiar eyebrow in question.

“If it's not a problem. They, uh...if I had a mate and was sexually active, they would fear the herb would still be in me, so I could still be a danger to myself—you know...knotting with my Alpha and that little he absorbs makes him go a bit, uhm...out-of-control for me and then he pulls out, covered in my slick, or even if I leak on the bed during our coupling...I could re-infect myself, if it's a good amount.”

Jared gives out a small grin. “—but this is only in an 'if' situation, right?”

“Yeah...oh, yeah.” Jensen makes a mad swipe in the air as if to forge the even asked, to save the embarrassment of actually hearing Jared answer him. “In an odd way, I don't want to have to do this alone, or...god forbid, they send in some young 'cub', infatuated with me, to jerk me off or finger me to orgasm.”

Jared can't help it, he starts to laugh, his eyes filling with moisture. “I wonder how much the Alamani's sperm or ovums go for on E-Bay?” He swipes up the urine sample cup and the bedpan, heading for the bathroom.

“What's E-bay, Jared?” Jensen inquires as Jared returns with the urine cup filled to the brim, his patient label on the side of the plastic and the cap on tight and Ziplocked into its plastic bag to be taken away when the nurse returns.

“It's like an auction house on the Internet. People will bid on other people's unwanted items to make them their own for pennies on the dollar.” Jared still sees confusion on Jensen's face. “Or like a garage sale of all your old crap you no longer want, but all in one contained website on the Internet.” 

Jensen shakes his head. “Duncan was the one who knew how to work our computer. I found no real use for it.” He frowns deeply, concern growing on his features. “Oh, god...people bidding on my reproductive waste? That...is so...sad.”

“I don't doubt you have some crazed fanatical pack followers out there.” Jared brings the bedside table back over. He situates to sit near Jensen's legs and makes sure he eats everything. He's pleased when he sees Jensen pick up the fork and dig in, but the hand wobbles a bit and Jensen's depth perception is still off-kilter with the blurriness of the right eye. “here, here...sit back and let me help you.”

“I can do this, Jared...just...” Jensen keeps tugging away his arm, not wanting Jared to treat him like a 'pup' . “It's going to be a while before I feel completely myself again.”

“—an' that's why I'm here. Let's try not to make more of a mess with this meal all over your gown. Your sight isn't totally back, is it?”

“No, there's a haze, but it's less...” Jensen covers the eye and he settles down. “Wow...I do feel less of a need to try and see with the eye.”

“I'll try to find out if I can wrangle you an eye patch.”

“That will look very dumb.” The problem is...“eye patch” makes Jensen think of a pirate, not the one a medical professional would tape over his eye.

“Does your head hurt, off an' on?”

“A little. Why?”

“Bet if we forced that eye to close, the pain would subside.” Jared holds up a finger. “I'll be right back. Hold on.”

Jensen is growing used to Jared saying those words; he recalls Jared had told him he was drawn to always return to Jensen's side, even when he left on purpose. Jared walks around the curtain with medical tape, scissors and a circular gauze pad to fit the indentation of the eye socket.

“ohhhh, okay...I had thought—” Jensen waves his hand in the air to wipe away his silliness.

Jared pushes aside the bedside table, then sits closer to Jensen. Jensen sits fully upright, placing his hand on Jared's hitched left thigh. Jared cuts four short strips of tape, puts the gauze pad over the eye in question, making sure the lid had been closed. He places the top two strips on first, then the bottom ones to smooth them over the skin. Jared leans back to make sure it look decent form his angle, then asks Jensen how that feels.

Jensen smiles, nodding his head as he places a shaky hand over his covered eye socket. “You're a genius.” Already he feels less dizzy and queasy; his head stops pounding over the particular eye as well.

“Eh, I only pretend to be smart.” Jared leans in, loving the feel of Jensen's hand soothing his thigh. He only means to peck a quick kiss, then pull back.

Jensen brings his hand out to cup the neck, riding into the hair; he uses the long strands to hold Jared in place as he yanks him forward, the soft press of their lips tempting as he tries to initiate kissing. He keeps their faces mere inches apart, green eyes focusing on the parting lips in front of him. He bends to lick the top lip with his tongue, then the bottom, until finally he barely fits the tip through the lips. Jensen hears Jared groan, watching his eyes squeeze shut like he's about to tamp down on a feeling coursing through him. 

Jensen curls about Jared's head and tumbles backward, bringing Jared with him. “I felt something—in the tub—a stirring in my body for you.”

“What happened to it?” Jared lets out some air as he rests forearms down on the mattress.

“I don't know, but...” Jensen stares down Jared, hoping for some understanding or at least him knowing exactly what had happened to him. “...I had never felt it before.”

“Did it scare you?'' Jared rubs a single knuckle of an index finger over Jensen's plump lips.

“No...” Jensen wiggles around a bit, sinking a bit lower. “...because you were holding me at the time.”

“god...” Jared tries to draw backward, but Jensen won't take his arm away from around him, around his shoulders. “...we shouldn't do this—not now. You should really eat.”

“uh-huh...okay...”

“Jen, it's only gonna work if you let me go.”

“oh...sorry.” Jensen wasn't truly that sorry.

==&&==&&==&&==

Jensen lightly dozes, unable to stop himself from laying close to the bedside where Jared was sitting in his chair. Jared looks over at Jensen, finding some need to touch, keep contact warm and constant. Jared's beginning to allow sleep to overcome him. At first, he tries to sleep in the chair with his head tilted back; his neck starts to ache. He pulls the chair close enough to the stretcher so he can put his head on the bed; it tucks into Jensen's curled body and he hooks an arm over Jensen's legs, just flipping through mindless TV channels.

That's how Vince finds them, strangely close, as usual, huddled together in slumber. Jensen always gravitating toward Jared even in an unconscious state. He picks up Jensen's chart at the end of the bed frame, starting to turn through page after page.

This is what causes Jared to open his eyes. “Hey, man—you been home at all?”

“No.” Vince heaves a huge sigh as if he's just gotten an earful from his mate over the long=distance phone line. “Moira knows where I am, knows what happened tonight, too.”

“How's Farrack?” Jared does a slight shake to Jensen's body, getting him to open his good eye. He pets over the shorter dark blond cut. “Vince's here—I just asked about Farrack.”

Immediately, Jensen uncurls his body, laying on his back, taking one of Jared's hands to hold tight, thread their fingers, palm to palm. “Yeah, yeah...don't sugarcoat anything. You can be honest with us.”

“Well, shockingly...he was conscious through everything. He such a huge muscle mass of a guy.” Vince shakes his head, coughing into a hand as he clears his throat. “The Vahya didn't hit him quite as hard as it did for you or even the two Ferae Alphas. Farrack said he had moments of losing time, closing his eyes for what he thought might be only a few seconds to actually it having been several minutes, then seeing something was different.” He lifts both eyebrows high as he goes on to explain, “He barely remembers entering the ring for his own match, but he does recall what pissed him off about Fessick's bout and wanting to get into the ring, but not how he got there. Once he had Toran off his brother,” He shapes his hand around his own head. “...he gets fuzzy on the details, but he knows what he felt. He told me about his prior bout with Toran and how, yeah...he may have pushed back feelings to score a 'win'. He sensed his inhibitions set free, like he could take what he wanted—needed—and that could turn out to be Toran.”

“So...Toran could have mated Farrack, and the sex and knotting would've been consensual?”

“Yes, it would've been.” Vince gives a nod of agreement, then he leans his hip on the footboard where he stands. “Toran may feel differently because he had the same sense of blackouts and fuzziness. The herb made him crazy-as-fuck to whomever was near him. He was out-of-his mind with lust; he could've taken the referee and found satisfaction.” He knows he made a poor joke, but this night has been too insane not to laugh at something sometime.

Jared gives an airy snort, shaking his head. “How is Farrack physically?”

“Farrack is fine.” Vince shows signs of weariness on that end, then shakes his head as he wipes at his eyes. “Toran didn't get physical enough with him to cause harm...not before Fessick got to him and knocked him out.”

“Farrack knows about Toran now?” Jensen asks in a tired voice, not meaning to yawn, but he covers it with his hand. 

“uh, yeah...now he does.” Vince wanders around the stretcher and sits down at the end of the mattress, hitching a left leg up and leaning the chart on his thigh. “We had to tell him to settle him down or he would've climbed out of his stretcher to go check for himself. He's not happy with what Fessick did, but...he's happy his brother is okay and safe.” He starts flipping through pages of the chart again. “I just wish the guy would think about himself before he keeps worrying about Fessick and Toran.”

“Any word on Fessick?” Jensen's hold of Jared's hand is loosening, only because he sees that Jared wants to get out of the chair and stretch. “Has he shifted back to his human form?”

“No.” Vince shakes his head, then glances down the bed at Jensen. “They still have him penned, sedated, but he oddly doesn't seem to have been any worse for wear having been in the ring, so close to Toran. No sign of him being poisoned like his brother.”

“Well, that's a good sign.” Jared leans against the head of the stretcher, crossing his arms over his chest. “What about Toran?”

“They've sutured him up as best they can.” Vince does a very quick show of just where the actual scar crosses over the entire face. “Chris has put in a consult to a great plastic surgeon who does facial reconstruction. There's a possible scratched retina, but we won't know 'til the swelling decreases.”

“Does he know what happened?” Jensen feels moisture collecting behind his eyes, wanting to weep for those who had it worse than him. “Everything?”

“Yes.” Vince stops turning pages to look down in earnest as he lifts his head. “He's pretty numb to the situation. Very quiet and...he looks like he's attempting to remember what set him off.” He finally spares a glance to Jared, giving him a soft smile.

Jared takes that as a cue to begin to tell Vince what he found out from Jemal. He hadn't even had time to discuss this with Jensen, but he will. “Jemal was here and he told me that the Alpha that entered the ring with Jensen passed around drinks, in a mug. Jemal refused but Toran drink his own and Jemal's serving.”

“...jesus christ...” Vince takes a hard swallow as he looks at Jensen who looks up at Jared as if he's hearing all of this for the first time. “...so Tory got a double dose of that shit?”

Jared nods his head in response, clearing his throat. “Jemal also mentioned there had been a bottle of body oil just sitting on a shelf for any of the Alphas to use. He had taken one whiff and his allergies set in, so he didn't use it.”

“hmm—” Vince shakes his head, then raises a lone eyebrow as if he's heard something similar or something close to it. “Toran said he didn't use any oil but his own from his locker.”

Jared can almost feel Jensen staring at him, but he's not going to look down at him, just continue to talk to Vince as they figure this out. “That would explain why Fessick isn't worse, but Farrack is. From his courting Alpha during their bout.” 

“Farrack is steadily on the mend.” Vince snorts out hard laugh. “He just wants to be knocked out with drugs but I'm not chancing him having an adverse reaction with the combination of synthetics chemicals with the Vahya.” He crosses his arms, looking closely at Jensen. “Is your eye starting to bother you?” He reaches out to soothe a hand up and down Jensen's leg under the covers.

“No...” Jensen reaches up to touch the pad. “...just blurry and with it being open, I kept trying to 'see' out of it. I was developing a mirror headache.”

“Good thinking whomever suggested the patch.” Vince chuckles as Jared raises his hand, then Jensen points to Jared. “ahhh...those days where you were my guinea pig or my pretty assistant to a fledgling medical student have finally paid off.”

“I need to ask you something, Vin.” Jared tucks his hands in his trouser pockets.

Vince writes a bit of a note, then looks up at Jared. “Oh? What?”

Jensen crosses one arm over his middle, using the other hand to cover his face as his face begins to go flush with shame. He has some idea that Jared is about to ask a very disturbing question of Vince about his “other bodily fluids” he may need to expunge. Little does he know it still pertains to the talk Jared had with Jemal outside his hospital room.

**== &&==&&==&&==**   
**TBC...**


	11. Chapter 11

Jared can't help but notice how embarrassed Jensen is looking, so he swipes at the hand covering his flushed face, keeps the hand as he settles himself on the small portion of the mattress he can hitch his right hip on as Jensen sits more upright and leans on Jared's right side, laying his head on the shape of the shoulder bone. “Jemal made a suggestion, and I have to agree with him...we think Jensen needs to get away from all this...” He shapes his other hand around in the air. “—crazy hoopla. I'm sure it's a nut house out there with them thinking he's still in critical condition.”

Jensen's just relieved that Jared hadn't asked the question he thought he would, and he wouldn't truly mind being taken away under Jared's care to some place...safer. He tightens the grip of his hand on Jared's, curling his arm about Jared's muscular one.

“The hospital is planning a statement sometime in the morning. And, yes, there's a candlelight vigil going on out on the lawn of the hospital property. They have no idea what room Jensen is in, or they would probably be right under the window.” Vince is a little worried that Jensen has gone subdued and quiet, and that he leans on Jared for support. It's not like him to just give in so quickly. “What's your question?”

“I wanna bring Jensen home with me—well, to your home, where I'm staying.” Jared rolls his hand, hoping Vince will give him the response he's hoping for. “I know it's rude and kind of imposing of me to think you'd allow me to just bring anybody back to your family's home, so...” 

“What do you say on this, Jensen?”

“First I've heard of it.” Jensen shrugs, keeping his head bowed, cheek plastered to the shape of Jared's shoulder joint.

“Do you not want to return to your home?”

“I have some idea it won't be quite the same.” Jensen dreads the empty silence without Duncan or the warmth that radiated in every room through the entire house. “They know where I live and...Duncan won't be there.” He holds on tighter to Jared's arm.

Jared makes a gesture like “See?”, then clears his throat. “I would offer to take care of Jensen at his place, but there's enough scandal over his head. I don't wanna add more fuel. Plus, if I'm left alone with Jensen, I'm liable to give in to my temptations and, possibly, mate with him...” He lets out a huff of breath as Jensen gently smashes a fist into his arm, but he reaches out to cover that fist and bring it down with the other hand he still holds. “I know Moira already disapproves.”

“Jared, that's...” Vince isn't sure that was smart to say in front of Jensen, but then again, maybe it was the kind of reaction from Jensen Jared was looking for to get him motivated to move.

Jensen lifts his his head, quirking up an eyebrow. “And...why is Moira disapproving of me?”

Jared twists his head to glance down at Jensen. “She disapproves of me, not you. Well, me pursuing you, and possibly mating with you.”

Vince can actually see Jensen growing annoyed by this information. 

“Well, she obviously doesn't know you as well as she thinks. And she doesn't know me or my wants and needs.” Jensen looks over at Vince with a narrowness to his gaze. “Is she always like this? Judgmental of people and making broad assumptions?”

Vince shakes his head, chuckling deeply. “My mate is a strong and opinionated Omega who became as such once she left the Ferae Pack compound. Yes, I'll admit to spoiling her because I know she didn't have to choose me.” He presses his hand flat to his upper chest. “She gave me the second love of my life, our daughter, Beatrice, and, well...she's got those same unwavering opinions about you, as the Alamani.”

Jensen begins to straighten his back, scooting over, away from Jared. “I've met her once or twice, right? And...does she think she knows what's best for me?”

“No, see...” Vince puts his hands up, then gives a long glare to Jared for starting him on this tangent with Jensen. 

Jared places a hand on Jensen's leg, rubbing tenderly. “It's okay. I get used to it. People are gonna see what they see, hear what they hear and make their assumptions.” He keeps his head bowed, pretty sure he's just started WWIII.

“But she's wrong, Jay...” Jensen lowers his tone, even though he sounds beyond frustrated and a bit put-out. “I need to tell her that.”

“So...do you wanna come stay with me, after leaving here?” Jared turns to look over at Jensen.

Jensen smiles, reaching up to sift fingers through the dark strands of hair. “Why not? I have nowhere else to go. No one waits for me at home.” He can imagine that the time spent together will be much like what they had at Oloko village in the boarding house. “It'll be good to get out of the compound, able to be with you in a normal setting. I can mend and heal, clear my head better if I take myself out of the negative environment.”

Jared smiles with his chin to his chest, satisfied he was getting exactly what he had wanted. “Even if we get snide comments and sneers from Moira?” He wants to be sure Jensen knows what they're walking in on, because he only has to say one word and Jared will find them somewhere else to stay.

“She needs to see that I am just a man and I have wants and needs like everyone else.”

“Guys, c'mon...” Vince is sticking up his hands, looking for a break. “This is my mate. She's not that bad. She's carrying our twins for Christ's sake. She's allowed to feel a little superior.”

Jensen gives a sharp glare to Vince. “Pregnant or not, she needs to realize how lucky and fortunate she is.” He knows he's being unfair to Vince, but he is after-all speaking up for his mate who can't defend herself, but Jensen is doing much the same, for Jared and for himself. “Ferae Betas and Omegas always get a bit stuck-up when they think they know us Bearers better than we know ourselves. They've treated us like less-than-dirt just because the Alphas didn't want us grouped with them, then the Betas and Omegas saw us simply as Alphas, never once giving us a chance to let them know us.” He gently touches his own chest to motion toward himself. “It was only when I stepped up and put a face to the Alpha Bearer status and we—we were forced to prove how they could benefit to having us here to protect them. Despite all that we do for them, they still look down on us...especially if we take yet another of their Ferae Alphas.” Jensen takes his hard stare away from Vince to look away, briefly, but brings it back around as there's a sag to his shoulders. “I've often believed they would simply wish us to die at birth or while birthing, to just float away into oblivion, like we never existed. I, and a few other Bearers, refuse to sink back from the light...”

Jared can't respond to that profound statement, just bows his head and soothes over Jensen's leg.

“Again...” Vince is a bit stunned by what Jensen had verbally spewed at him, and he feels deeply apologetic for taking it too lightly when it's everything Jensen fights to live for. “...I'm sorry. In my outsider pack naiveté, I often don't see what you've seen. Moira is a year or two older than you, so I know she may have been in that generation of Omegas. She does have an odd sense of morals and values she thinks the Alamani should keep and adhere to. I find it a bit obtrusive since she isn't part of your core family, nor of your status.”

Jensen is growing to hate this “label” put on him so much, because it seems to keep him from getting what he most wants—Jared. “The ones who believe or have faith in the Alamani like to lump boundaries and limits on me, as if I were some Christ-born figure. This past week has shown me how human and mortal I am. I do get caught in the throes and enthusiasm, because it does make me whole and feel purpose, but...not at the cost of my own chance at happiness. I can only take so much from them before I begin to drown in my own sorrows again.”

“Then let ME personally invite you to stay at my home, Jensen.” Vince reaches out to clamp a hand around Jensen's leg, lifting one end of his his mouth in a quirky grin. “To come in and be a part of how 'normal' and 'boring' life can truly be.”

Jensen dramatically leans back on his pillows, throwing his arms above his head as he sighs and thinks of how pleasant and peaceful “boring and normal” sounds like right now. “I would love a little 'boring', anything to not see the inside of a hospital room again.” He tenderly bumps his leg against Jared's thigh, in jest since they've spent most of their time together in hospital rooms; they share a light chuckle as they both turn to look at the other, then away to glance over at Vince.

Vince doesn't know what to say about the way Jared and Jensen have easily become almost similar to an already-mated couple; it's eerie, but a little perfectly suited for both men, who have seen their fair shares of the tragedies of growing up in wolf society. “I have no doubt you will be released tomorrow, so we need to figure out a game plan to get you out of here and safely off the compound.”

“Oh, god...” Jensen pulls upright to turn his face into Jared's shoulder joint again, heaving a sigh. “...if only Duncan were still running his taxi-truck service...”

“Wait...” Jared twists to smile over at Jensen, then pats his hands. “...we could probably get Jemal to—can he drive?” He isn't sure Ferae Alpha's even have the space on their side to practice driving a car.

Vince snorts out a laugh as he shakes his head, as does Jensen. Ferae Alphas no need to drive when they live on the compound; it's mainly just moving from one side of the wall to the other. “hehehe, maybe he'll find it motivation enough to learn.”

Jensen tilts his head in curiosity. “Yeah, but who will teach him? That truck loves Duncan as much as he loves it.”

They leave the option of who will be driving Jensen off, in secret, to be decided later as they finagle a plan to work along with Christian, Jensen's other attending physician. Vince doesn't stay much longer once he finishes jotting down his chart notes, then signing off on some previous orders.

Jensen doesn't even bother asking Vince if he's concerned about anymore of the Yahya herb still being inside him, so he won't embarrass himself by asking out loud if he'll have to “service” himself later on. For now, he'll just keep it in the back of his mind until much much later, when it's really a moot point and his health status is out in the clear.

==&&==&&==&&==

“Jared...”

“mmm-hmm...?”

“Jayyyy...”

“—what?” Jared swivels his head, opening his droopy eyes to find Jensen staring at him from the stretcher. “Can't sleep?”

“I cannot stand watching you torture yourself to find a comfortable position in that silly chair.” Jensen throws open the covers, patting the space on the bed he makes. Jensen thinks he might have to coax Jared into bed, but neck pain and body aches seems to win over pride. Jared kicks off his shoes, peels down to V-neck t-shirt, unbuckling and pulling off trousers to show tight gray boxers; he climbs under the blankets, but instead of taking Jensen into his arms, he burrows into Jensen's chest, securing both arms around and tangling their legs. “oh, my...” In a strange way, it's exactly what Jensen needs to feel alive again, like his old self—someone needing him. He feels the glorious weight on his chest, the strong arms embracing him. Dark head buries deep and he kisses the top to brush through the hair, soothing over nape and wide back. “—you're so calm and collected. I've yet to see you breakdown in front of me.”

“I feel it...felt it.” Jared rubs his hands along Jensen's spine, tucking under the loosely tied strings to touch bare flesh. “A thousand times in my mind played out to how it would feel to lose you. This time was all too real.” He softens his voice as he mumbles against the chest wall, vibrating the whole area. “I thought, like so many others, that you were dead once you hit the mat in the ring...” He closes his lids, unable to wipe that memory form his mind. It had been stuck in his head because it had been in glorious Technicolor on a 70-inch widescreen TV monitor. “...god, my heart was in my throat, a sob just at the cusp, about to belt out of me had you not stuttered awake and asked for me.”

“I had so much to tell you—thought I was dying.” Jensen knows exactly what Jared means; the only thing running through his mind was—get Jared!. “I'm truly not supposed to be here, to have lived for these seven and twenty years. I should've died countless of times before, but, yes...this time I felt myself slipping away. I tried to do everything I could to keep breathing so I could see you again, be near to you...like this...” He adjusts himself so he can touch and trace Jared's face gazing up at him. “I feel it's my time.” He pulls the covers up to contain their shared heat. “My life before you has been so full, complete. These last few days have shown me that it might be time to move on, find my own mate—for real this time, not because of some Ferae tradition. All my brethren are finding their mates and off to carry 'pups' of their own. There is no one left but me to mess with...and I do not think it is in my own destiny to mate with any other Alpha but you.”

“I don't want to take you here.” Jared doesn't glance away from Jensen's intense stare. “I want a bed—a soft one I can lay you on and show you just how good we can be together.”

Jensen slowly nods his head, reaching out to rub his balled hand over Jared's cheek, laying both their heads together on the pillow, merging brows, sharing breathing space. “I am ready—whenever, at least I think I am. Or, I am on my way to becoming so.”

Jared snatches at the hand on his face. “Do you have need of me?”

Jensen smiles down and opens his hand to pet Jared's cheek. “You are always so attentive to my needs. The Omega in me wants to please you, knows that giving in will make you happiest so that makes me happier. The Beta in me looks at this logically and thinks it's good that we wait.”

“...an' Alpha?” Jared quirks up one eyebrow in curiosity. “What does he think?” He tucks his hands under his cheek on the pillow.

Jensen leans in, nosetip touching nosetip and nuzzling. “...well, he would still like nothing better than for you to just throw me down and take me, but...not with what almost happened earlier tonight. I just might try to resist you and fight back.”

Jared barely gives a nod of approval, because he's feeling awfully sleepy. He blinks slow, then burrows his face in the plushness. “I'll throw you down and ravish you when we're home...well, when we're in a house that has a bedroom one of us sleeps in—” He doesn't notice when he's silenced by two fingers over his lips. He quickly opens his eyes to look over at Jensen.

“no, no...” Jensen brushes his hands over the chin, then sliding it under. “I liked that first one. Being ravished at home in bed sounds very nice.” He starts to bury his head on the pillow just like Jared, then tucks a single hand under his cheek, leaving one out to play at Jared's hair and caress the sweet face that he's grow very fond of.

“Good. I'm glad.” Jared turns his face into his forearm, still feeling Jensen explore with his hand, and those wonderfully nimble fingers. He lets out a soft chuckle. “Go to sleep, Jen.”

“I will...” Jensen whispers into Jared's face. “I need to trace you to memory for my dreams.”

Jared snorts and buries his head, but he's relieved that Jensen is softly laughing along with him, thinking they make a pretty sappy sentimental couple...for two Alphas.

==&&==&&==&&==

They actually manage to sleep for a good solid four hours straight before being woken—well, the nurse had to wake Jensen. Though she had given a disapproving look to how Jared was heavily slumbering on half of the stretcher and curled on his left side, tucked into the left-side railing.

Jensen notices her glare, how she fake-smiles at him as he blatantly goes about petting over Jared's hair, then soothing over the broad expanse of back. Once he lets her do her work, giving him the regimen of medication that will counter-act the poisoning, he returns to laying on top of Jared's back, huddling into his warmth and laying his cheek between the bunched shoulder blades, and hooking his leg high on Jared's body. He doesn't care of the nurse make her underbreath remarks, he loves the feel of Jared's hard body against him, loves that when he shifts his leg, it opens the groin area over the ample bottom under the tight cotton boxers.

The Alpha-side of him is curious to how it will feel to rub his bare cock over the naked ass cheeks, then between them spread apart; he doesn't want to fuck Jared, just get him aroused enough at the idea that Jensen could—one day—fuck him and drive Jared to come so hard at the simple thought. Jensen adjusts further up, rubbing the front of his body, feeling that strange stirring in his dick again, but this time he feels his anal walls contract as if to build-up to an eventual release of come. He presses his face into the nape, then buries his face in Jared's soft hair.

“...oh god...” Jensen sense the wave of feral want and need coursing through him. It's interesting how truly different this feels from typical arousal. He plants his hands on the mattress, looking down at Jared innocently slumbering and—he wants to devour him, soak him into his body so they were one whole being. He starts nibbling, then licking and ends with some nuzzling and nudges to get Jared to wake, just enough to get him to flip over on his back.

“mmm...I forgot how frisky you were in the mornin's...” Jared chuckles, reaching back with his right hand to hold Jensen's hips steady against his body. He rises slightly up on his left forearm and elbow. “...shit—” He can't help it, he thrusts backward, his bottom grinding together with Jensen's pelvis and hips. “—need me to do anything?”

Jensen feels his cock growing harder as he nips at Jared's neck, tonguing the bare skin. “...don't wanna fuck you...just wanna get off between your thighs...”

Jared leans back into Jensen's face. “...i's okay if you do end up fuckin' me. I've had anal sex before.”

“—with pack?” Jensen almost chokes on the shock.

“nnnggghhh—with humans...oh, god—” Jared reaches back to pull the collar on his t-shirt to take off the material; he feels the need to have bare skin o bare skin. 

Jensen lifts to help, while undoing the ties of his flimsy gown, peeling it off from the front and sending it off the stretcher with Jared's t-shirt. He uses both hands to yank on the elastic band to lower Jared's underwear, but he doesn't take it off fully, leaving the material stretching at the knees so Jared's a little helpless and tangled. Bracing off his left hand, Jensen unties the drawstring to loosen the waistline, lowering the front of the thin pants he wears. He takes his cocktip, wet with thick precome and traces the line of the crease. Jared pushes back, his hands around his hips to pull at the skin of his bottom, offering out parting cheeks. 

Jensen guides his shaft through, slip-sliding as he rolls his hips, riding the sensation a bit dry. It's frenzied and over too quick as he shudders from the forceful ejaculation of his first orgasm. He lays on Jared's back, pressing into the side of the face. “...god—m'so wet for you. I think I'm gonna need you after all.”

Somehow, Jared is able to deftly flip from beneath Jensen, one arm around the lower back as he yanks down the pant legs to below the knee, almost ripping the thin fabric; Jensen makes quick work of ridding himself of the pants completely. Jared pulls Jensen's right thigh to the other side of his body. This opens the seeping canal, allowing the slick and lubrication to drip onto Jared's skin. Jared tucks an arm under, between their bodies, tracing the quivering folds with fingertips and flicking the hard nub. Jensen is too high to grab onto Jared as he falls forward, so he forms fists in the pillows and bed sheets, and he shifts his body to chase Jared's hand.

“I'm swelling...” Jensen whispers into the dark strands of hair he presses his face into. “...there's no fear you'll take my virginity if I'm swollen...” He knows he sounds desperate to be fucked, to gradually build-up to being knotted.

“—m'not gonna take that chance, unless you and I are moving in tandem.” Jared's just not willing to hurt Jensen under any circumstance.

“...oh, god, Jay...please—need to feel you—inside...want it—want you—”

“I know, man, I know...hold on—” Jared decides to cup the crotch, riding his thumbnail on the folds, then diving the tip inside. “...how's that?”

“oh, fuck!...oh, god!” Jensen begins to shake, thighs quivering as he lowers himself. “...oh, yeah—tha's it...that's gonna be the one...” As he drops down on Jared's hand, he curls his body to merge their brows and search for lips. “I feel it, Jay...that sensation again—the one I'm supposed to feel when I'm with my mate.”

Jared is craning up to kiss. “I feel you feeling it. You're so tight aroun' me, swollen and slick...” It's amazing to him what he can feel as he works at playing with the canal folds and being deep inside Jensen's body. “...you're so close to coming...I wanna watch you. Let go. Sit up...and ride my hand. I bet you have an intense release.” In fact, he knows Jensen will, but it will be up to Jensen to make it happen.

“oh, I know I will—so good...” Jensen kisses Jared's lips, nudging noses. “—you feel so...unreal...” He eases himself upright, feeling the stretch of his inner thighs, his canal opening wider as he solidly plants his knees. He appreciates Jared bringing in his own legs together, but then Jared sits upright, too, starting to nibble on Jensen's neck and shoulder. “...god, you're so bad, but so damn good.” Without even being told, Jensen begins to move up and down, feeling the thumb penetrate and sink, not deep enough but the quick flutter of movements vibrates up to his clitoris, causing him to move his own body. His walls tighten and he senses the first wave of slicked lube exit the womb to coat his contracting walls and the thumb inside. “uhhh-yeahhh—I'm coming...”

“Tha's lube to ease my way in...” Jared switches from thumb to two long, thick fingers; he wiggles them around inside, feeling the burning heat radiating. “—you have hit your heat...” He kisses down the bare chest, feeling the heart race against his face; he licks over a nipple, then bites playfully.

“ohhh, shhhiiittt...” Jensen bounces in mid-air, trying to remain upright, but he wants to lean and curl into Jared. He starts to feel his thighs shake again, but it's a deeper feeling than before. 

As he's rolling through the sensations he feels on nipple and canal to clit, Jensen reaches out to hold onto Jared around the shoulders and head. He squeezes his thighs together, trapping Jared's hand, and he starts to spasm and flail, while still holding tight. His lower body keeps thrusting down as Jared pumps his hand faster and they fall backward. Jared embraces both arms around Jensen's waist, making sure the shaft of his cock is aligned with the folds of Jensen's canal opening. Jensen kicks out and arms slip from around Jared as he tries to find safety and traction. He's orgasmed before, but never this intense or powerful, where he loses all sense of himself and some control.

“...oh, jay—jay-jay-jay....” Jensen burrows into Jared's heaving, sweaty chest, and wants to drown in the warm safety of the massive arms.

“ssshhh—ssshhh...I got you—let go—I got you...” Jared feels Jensen's canal quivering, leaking slick and making a sticky mess between their bodies. He soothes over head and nape, along the back and cups the bare bottom to slow the thrusting down. “...you're all right—so beautiful...” He's kissing whatever part of face and cheek his lips connect with as Jensen hides away. He chuckles lightly when Jensen's limp on top of him, unable to move any of his limbs. “You had your first genuine earth-shattering orgasm. Makes all the others, from solo-work, seem weak, huh?” Jared peers down at Jensen as if he's cradling a small child within his arms. 

“—I had no idea—no idea...all this time, fighting—struggling—to never have this...” Jensen closes his eyes and tucks his face away, cheek on Jared's flushed skin. He finally has time to glance over the bare chest, feeling the close-cropped curl of fine chest hairs on the skin, loving the wide expanse of such broad shoulders, the well-built upper chest that tapers down to those flat abdominals. The dark line of chest hair disappears near the belly and leads into a trail that ends at a trimmed mat of brown pubic hair. He's seen Alpha cock before, so it's nothing shocking or peculiar to him. But he has never been allowed to explore and stare, nor touch an Alpha's shaft, curved cocktip with the pointed head for ease of insertion into a mate's body. 

Jensen runs the flat of his palm over the veiny length, feeling the fire pulse and the swell of the bulbous knot; this doesn't frighten as much as fascinate him. He lays his palm dead center, rolling his hand around, turning his head to kiss over the chest; now it's his turn to nip and bite at the pert dusky nipples. From under lowered lashes, Jensen watches Jared arc off the bed, then sees him push his head back into the plush pillows, the neck muscles and tendons straining. Jensen is very aware of how self-contained Jared has kept himself for his sake, attempting to tamp down instinctive desires to please and satisfy his mate's—well, Jensen's—needs first. He licks a long trail over skin to nibble on the clavicle to Adam's apple. Jared's skin has the most delicious taste he's ever sampled.

“Don't hold back for me.” Jensen raises to an elbow, planting on the pillow so he can look down at Jared's orgasmic face, petting back the thick soft brown locks. He kisses cheek, then nudges the side of the face. “Show me how you like being touched.”

Jared turns his face into Jensen's cheek. “Right now...don't need much stimulation. I almost came when you did—I wanted to, but...”

Jensen shuts his lids, nodding his head as he finishes word-for-word. “...you wanted to be there for me.” He finds this happens a lot with Jared.

“I like the palm-thing you do...” Jared can't help the blissed-out face he seems to be unable to erase from his face as he demonstrates with his own hand in mid-air. “...rolling over my knot. I can do the rest.”

“m'kay...” Jensen moves his hand to hover, watching Jared blindly put a thumb on the tip, then use the index and middle fingers to work the shaft, franticly stroking along on that inch of area. As his palm rolls over the swelling knot, Jared's inner thighs quiver and he bends his knees to butterfly his legs outward, opening his genitals and anus to the cool air. Remembering what Jared had said earlier, Jensen brings his hand up to his mouth, sucks on a few fingers, then rides along the crease of a thigh to slide over the perineum and plays at the puckered skin. “Is this...all right?” 

“Oh, god—fuck, yes...” Jared is thankful that Jensen lays so close to his side as he buries his face away, making these hushed requests low in his throat of how Jensen can manhandle his body. “...stick your fingers in me...”

Jensen slips in just the tips, playing around the opening and then he slides deeper into the warm cavity, feeling the tight grip of muscled walls. “...jesus, so tight—an hot...”

“—move the fingers...curl 'em, jus' a bit—uhhhh, shit, yeah...right there.” Jared rolls his hips, sliding his body along the finger as he feels the double pump from inner thighs to thrust, his testicles receded inward and, as he starts to spasm and shake, he ejaculates the clear liquid of his seed from his knot. He turns his head away, a garbled moan into the pillow as he feels Jensen touch him after pulling out his fingers. He gives a soft laugh as Jensen moves to straddle him, holding his arms down to the mattress. Like he even has the energy to fight Jensen's imprisonment. “I've never had anyone watch my cock come before.” He likes pretending to be defenseless under Jensen's control; he simply likes the look of the Alpha Bearer looming above him.

Jensen soothes along the rib cage, noticing the knot's gradual deflation and the cock shrinking yet still looking impressive when flaccid. “It all leaves me quite breathless...never knew an Alpha could be so—” He tries to find the right words to convey what he means.

“—messy?—sticky?”

“No...beautiful...breathtaking. I could watch you do that for hours. Well, an' then I'd want it for my own.” Jensen crawls on knuckles to loom over Jared. He grins foolishly, with a quirk to a corner of his mouth. “Should I be worried that the sensation went away? The one that started this whole thing?”

Jared shakes his head, reaching up a hand to cup Jensen's face. “Told you we'd be ass-backwards about this whole thing between us.” He soothes the neck, then the upper chest. “You're older, too. I'm sure the heat reacts different when you're in puberty and the pack status is just about to develop. You're body already knows what it is...your mind is still trained to keep fighting.”

“I don't want to fight anymore. This stuff feels too good to stop doing.” Jensen grabs Jared's hand, holding the shape in his hand to kiss the top skin, then presses it to his cheek. “I'm afraid I'll try your patience, and I will end up chasing you away. You might be my last chance to mate.”

Jared raises to an elbow. “I've got plenty of patience to wait for you. You haven't chased me away yet. I'm certainly not your last chance to mate, but I will make it so. I will be your last, and final, Alpha.”

“I'd like that.” Jensen playfully shoves Jared back down, reaching behind his legs to pull the layers of covers over them as he stretches over Jared's body, resting on top of the upper chest to tuck into the warm neck. “It's starting already.”

“What is?” Jared furrows his brow in bewilderment. He forgets that Jensen is several different personalities at once, and once one is done, there's a new conversation to start all over again as if the last one never took place.

“The growing disapproval of my choice in Alpha.” Jensen wraps both arms solidly around Jared, tucking one arm under to hold him close. 

“mmm—” Jared likes being held like this against Jensen's chest, curling his hand around the back to lightly scratch his fingers over the bare skin. “...how's that make you feel?” He tucks his face into Jensen's breast bone.

Jensen does his own fingertip caressing, along Jared's broad shoulders and around the shoulder joint itself, down the upper biceps. “You know I don't have a negative or evil bone in my body, but these Ferae are starting to annoy me with how they remotely think they know me and what I need to be happy.” He holds Jared tighter to drive home his point that he's happiest when they're together.

Jared closes his eyes and deeply sighs, still wide awake but merely using this time to soak up Jensen's closeness; he needs the reassurance so soon after their intimacy to know he didn't coerce or coax Jensen into anything he didn't want. “To them you're theirs—their Alamani—you're not 'Jensen', who wants to mate and have his own family.”

“If they cannot see me as who I truly am, then they do not deserve me, and without me, they have no precious and sacred Alamani. They will have to find their own ways. I earned the right to live my life the way I want.”

“hey, hey—ssshhh...” Jared reopens his eyes to soothe his hand over the bare chest. “...just...deep breath, huh—don't get yourself worked up over this. We'll use this time away together to refocus on yourself, get you back on the mend.”

Jensen lifts his head, smiling down at Jared. “We have not yet properly mated, but your instincts are to always tend and care for me.” he tilts his head to lay on the pillow as he stares. “Is this Jared's way or...is this how all Alphas in your pack treat whomever they choose as a life companion?”

Jared readjusts to sit higher on the pillows. “I think it's a little of both.” He turns his head a little bit to look out against a far wall in the room. “Vince and I were both adopted out of different packs. Vince lost his in a huge battle, and I...well, my pack left me pretty much on the side of the road.”

“Wha—?” Jensen is a bit startled, wondering if he's heard any of this before from Jared's lips, and he has just ignored to help add to the the fact he had some idea Jared unworthy of him. “You were orphaned Alphas?”

“Yes. It was just by chance that he and I ended up brought in at the same time, forced to rely on ourselves, and a little on one another.” Jared twists his head back to look into wide green eyes. “The new pack that took us in didn't need 'cubs' like us, but they offered us protection, gave out food, clothes and shelter; we gave them our loyalty until we were of an age to go out on our own.” He notices how Jensen blinks and bows chin to chest. “What is it? Something I said?”

“You shame me with your words. I have been so unkind to you, yet you...” Jensen raises his head to look at Jared with glistening eyes. “...you give me joy and I keep pushing you away.”

Jared cups Jensen's jaw, at first with one hand, then motions him to move so he's guiding him to straddle above him, so now he cradles with both hands and bodily lifts him high so he can kiss and nudge his face. “We all come together with baggage and past histories.” His arms are long enough to reach down and shape the bare thighs around his body as he strokes the naked flesh to goosebumps. “I can't blame you for backing away from me. You've lived a different life than me, with different values and beliefs. I think you deserve as many chances as you need to find your way.” Jared gives a nonchalant shrug, pretty much assured that he knows Jensen will always find a way back to him, instinctively. “If it's toward me, then I will simply be a very happy and satisfied Alpha.” He smirks up at Jensen above him, looking down on him with his own weird grin.

“You would do this for me, even without mating? You would care for me and protect me...and, still, if I wished it, would watch me leave you to go live with another Alpha?” Jensen is blown away by Jared's ability to withstand such heartbreak and pain' he has truly never met a more challenging Alpha, nor does he believe he ever will find an equal to match wits with him. “You feel everything I feel, probably more-so, yet you would break your own heart to see me at my most happiest?” 

Jared loosely secures his arms about Jensen body under the covers. “One does the inexplicable for the one they love...”

Jensen startles at the word “love”. He's never heard it said so succinctly and in regards to his own self. “You feel this strongly so soon?”

“I think I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, but you—” Jared is beginning to feel shame for revealing deep emotions this early, but he's never been the one feeling them, always the lower pack status who confesses the heartfelt emotions. It's been a rather eye-opening experience for him, if anything, to feel a taste of his own medicine. “—I think you had my heart the minute you fell into my arms.” He watches Jensen sink down onto him, their eyes never detaching from the other. “You keep digging into me deeper—tonight solidified for me that I'm not even going to lie or fool myself into hiding my feelings.” He reaches out, up to touch Jensen's face, caress from temple to cheek. “I wouldn't believe you'd allow me near unless I had a hard conviction of how I truly did feel. That's where my patience comes in. You need time to let go of your old life, those old ways—let go of everything you were as those close to you move on from you.” As he traces along jawline, Jared allows fingers to shape the parting lips, curious to kiss. “I don't expect you to flip overnight and claim I have your heart. You need freedoms you've always had to make a choice. I won't make it for you, but I will be here, beside you, when you do.”

Jensen merges their brows, sliding faces and cheeks together. “I wish I could confess what you want to hear. There isn't one thing you've said I will disagree with.” He sets fists on Jared's shoulders. “The Beta in me approves of your sound logic...my Omega-side weeps deeply for your sacrifices.”

“Damn.” Jared is a little overjoyed Jensen isn't snapping at him to shut up about all these “feelings” coming at him. He gives a curt laugh. “You always hold off on your Alpha-side.”

Jensen knows that it's his Alpha-side that dominates and tries to take over too often. “My Alpha-side is what holds me together, even when it's wanting revenge or vengeance.”

“I quite like your Alpha.” Jared starts to slide both arms around Jensen. “I think he likes my Alpha, but just wants to keep his distance to be sure.”

“You're doing everything right, saying all the right things, but...my Alpha-side think it might go over better if you kissed him to convince him how compatible we are.”

“mmm...I'll be happy to indulge him.” Jared knows Jensen wants the hardest and roughest kisses, but the only way to catch and tame a wild beast is to subdue its feral nature and coax him into your hold...

Jared rises off his elbows, causing Jensen to slide upright, five-finger spread hands soothing up the collarbone and throat to snatch chin, and Jared leans upward to kiss, slow and sensual, teaching Jensen that sometimes it's nice to get what you never even knew you'd been wanting.

==&&==&&==&&==

Christian makes his rounds with the nurse, alone, before breakfast. He agrees with Jared, and a slightly reluctant Jensen, that they need to fool the Ferae pack members outside, and inside the hospital on staff as well. He will plan on writing the discharge papers to show for a release tomorrow morning, but they will sneak Jensen out sometime after midnight. It will be worked in with Jemal taking over Duncan's taxing service, as Duncan has already been discharged into his mate's care. Duncan had left with strict orders to remain on bedrest with his mate in their new home.

Christian manages to fit in a quick update on Farrack and Toran. The plastic surgeon had sutured the Alpha up as best he could on such short notice, but he had made a solid promise to take Toran as an on-going patient for further follow-ups, if he should want more reconstruction surgery. Toran had not lost sight in the scratched eye, but there was a certain depletion of visibility that wasn't 20/20 perfect. Being Ferae Alpha, he took the change in stride, believing it was the kind of sacrifice he would gladly pay for almost hurting the men he loved with his whole heart, adored with his entire being. Farrack was being equally as stubborn, refusing to stay-put in his hospital cubicle on the Trauma Unit, and had remained seated by Toran's side until the Alpha had regained full consciousness. Unfortunately, there had been no word yet on Fessick's condition.

Christian leaves the room with a wink in secret toward Jared and Jensen, guiding his assistant out the door ahead of him.

Jared soothes up and down Jensen's leg. He's no longer wearing his suit, they had loaned him a pair of scrubs after his shower. “C'mon, eat up.” He arranges the bedside table over Jensen's lap. “You need food in you to be energized.”

Jensen shakes his head as he reaches out to grab hold of the table ledge. “It's all spinning, moving so fast.” He rubs a hand over his brow, soothing harder at the temple. “I don't know what I want to do.

“So eat.” Jared uncovers the plate, taking out the utensils from the paper napkin. He is setting up the plate for Jensen to eat on his own. “Or I'll feed you myself...like a child.”

Jensen huffs and sighs, grabbing for a triangle of buttered toast. “I wanted to see Duncan before he left.” He nibbles at the cut edge as he speaks around chewed food. “I thought I had time.”

“You will—later.” Jared takes the aluminum lid off the orange juice, then goes about fixing Jensen the cup of coffee with creamer and sugar. “You'll see Jemal sometime after midnight.”

“I don't want second-hand information fed to me by some Alpha!” Jensen pushes at the bedside table, jarring everything on top as if to make his anger and frustration known.

Jared places it back where it had been. “What's wrong?” He purses his lips, noticing how the Alpha has come out of the tired and weary Bearer to claw his way forefront and fight again. “What's got you so pissed?”

“I just wanna go home...” Jensen has a quick lie back, rolling around on the pillow as if in private agony. “...and sleep in my own bed. I want it all to go back to the way it was—”

“Even before I arrived?” Jared dips his head low, muttering out his words.

Jensen sighs, reaching out to snag Jared's hand. “No. I want to keep you the same, rewind everything else.” He gives a soft pat to the hand then pulls back. “I try to focus on how my own life will be different, but...it's so much bigger than me. I can handle Duncan and Farrack being mated and carrying—” He lifts up his arms to start counting off things on one hand, using the other to point to each finger. “...but there's what to do with Fessick...the Alpha who entered the ring with me, when or IF the Gallantry will ever return or if it is truly gone for good. Then how will my brothers fare in finding their mates. If I give them 'choice', is it the right one? If we continue with the courting rituals, but it not being sanctioned by the High Alphas...” Jensen glances toward Jared, raising an eyebrow. “It's so strange how one incident ripple effects into every single life—forever changed.”

Jared keeps his head bowed as he goes on, “Maybe this is their time to rise—your brethren. Maybe they need to cut ties to know true purpose, real freedoms.” He lets the silence play between before he lifts his head again to stare across at green eyes looking bewildered at him. “You're not mentoring the older Bearers anymore. These are 'cubs' who don't know what being an Alpha Bearer is like. Could be time for the next generation to change what defines your pack status—for someone new to step up and take the 'face' of the new pack of Bearers.” He doesn't want to actually use the word “retire” when he mentions that Jensen could use this time wisely to step out of the limelight as the Alamani.

“Do I even dare to help?” Jensen raises both eyebrow sin questions. “To encourage them or teach them their history? Or do I let them find a path on their own journey?”

“Tha's up to you, Jen. You know you will always be someone they look up to.” Jared glances away, off to the side, then goes back to narrowing his eyes on Jensen. “You'll never lose their love...or the faith they've had in you for years, because you showed them the real you—the one just like them.” It's funny that Jensen has done this for so long he doesn't even know what he's created for himself.

Jensen crosses his arms over his chest, heaving a big sigh. “If I was your client, for real...how would you suggest I return to the populous?”

Jared likes this round of questions, because he can answer truthfully as if it were a genuine question for his job, but also, he can tell Jensen how he really feels about the situation. “Well, traumas and/or tragedies are often what can make or break a politician's popularity, depending on his/her role in the incident.” He extends out his left arm, bracing off his palm, flat to the mattress on the other side of Jensen's hip. “You were the Victim, therefore, not guilty. Plus, the belief of how sacred you are amps the scenario ten-fold.” He squints and eye to look up at the ceiling as if he can see the pretend scenario he's mentioning. “If you were running against your father or brother, in the political arena, I would bet that you could win...Every. Single. Time.”

Jensen gives a soft chuckle with a high lift to his chin. “And what if I start to make these choices that don't quite 'fit' their ideal of me?” He makes air quotes when he says the word “fit”.

“Like?”

Jensen takes a long swallow, staring down at the sheets covering him up to his waist. He's wearing a new set of gown and pants, since he took a shower as well. “Choosing a mate outside of the Ferae Pack and without a traditional Gallantry bout.”

“Eh, that might depend on you.” Jared gestures toward Jensen with his right hand.

“How so?” Jensen wrinkles his brow in wild wonder.

Jared stares for a bit longer than he should've, but he notices how Jensen is truly interested in learning. “Come at them weak with a shit-ton of apologies, and too much information about your personal life, you're trying too hard and they will sniff out your falsehoods, work on your weaker spots until you cave in or break down.” He can't stand it anymore, he snags a piece of bacon for himself. “If you already don't have the strength built-in behind the choices you make, the changes you're allowing to happen...you will lose them for sure.”

“But... what if I do just the opposite, I don't lose them at all?” Jensen raises his voice at the end, thinking that he's understanding just what Jared means to explain to him about the mess he's in, and now trying to find a way out of.

“You lose some.” Jared shrugs one shoulder as if to give no true strength to losing a few followers. “Tha's just a simple fact. You can never please everyone. Some will have their morals and beliefs tested.” He takes a small sip of the coffee, washing down the bacon strip. “They would even find fault with you finding pleasure or a release with me outside of mating.” He keeps his head bowed as he goes on to explain this to Jensen, “They won't even care about circumstances or how you and I are with one another. You will have sinned in their eyes, finding sexual fulfillment outside the sanctity of Ferae traditions. They see you as a hypocrite, 'cuz you preach one way but practice another.”

“They would think of me that poorly?” Jensen drops his gaze as well, realizing he has put more in motion just by being here with Jared that he ever thought possible. Too late to retrace steps backward and undo. 

“Yes.”

Jensen lifts his head to raise an eyebrow toward Jared. “—not even knowing who I truly am?”

“It's not you they see, Jen—the real man behind the Alamani. They see a spirit that transcends all else. They see your soul. You never taint that in front of their eyes.”

“Had this situation not occurred last night—had I lost and been knotted, what then?”

“Tha's a whole different game to play. I don't think they ever expected you to lose. You were never going to get pinned or unraveled, then knotted. You were special enough to be considered immortal. I think, had you lost, the Alamani-side of your life would've changed drastically. You would turn mortal—you would have a mate, you would be under a Ferae Alpha's obedience...you would start to produce life inside you, which might turn out being the new Alamani, taking your place...” Jared stops right where he ended, seeing this fester inside of Jensen's mind, making his body fidget in annoyance.

“...sheesh...” Jensen gives a slow shake of his head. “I am trapped in a prison of my own making.” It upsets him to no end that he cannot have what his brothers do, that he has to remain alone and always fighting and struggling to never find peace and calm. “I am not supposed to want what mortals do. I am supposed to live forever, never age, never get flabby...never LIVE?” His hand forms a fist and he slams it hard on the bed, rather than the table where he was aiming, but Jared had slid it out from under him at just the right time.

They smirk at one another, because that was too classic of perfect timing on Jared's part.

Jared leans his forearms on the bedside table. “It's not going to be easy, no matter what you decide.” He brings up his right arm to lay his cheek on a hand. “It's almost like choosing the lesser of two evils...who you want at your side while the life you once knew caves into itself and the old ghosts of your past fade away. And then slowly discovering who will still remain standing with you when all else leaves or fails?”

Jensen pushes off from the pillows, keeping his head bowed as he situates himself in front of the food again. “I am alone, though I am surrounded.” He lifts and arm to grab for the utensils.

Jared leans in, tightening his grip on Jensen's hand, threading their fingers. “You have me. You'll always have me.” He reaches out to rub knuckles over a cheek, petting the fuzzy hair. “No matter what is done, I will always be on your side.”

“—even if I hurt you?” Jensen stared hard across the way at Jared, his face not moving an inch to tease or taunt. “Break your fragile Alpha heart?”

“Even then.” Jared brings the hand to his lips and kisses the skin.

Jensen looks away, closing his eyes and nodding his head. He clears his throat, pulling the meal tray closer and begins to eat with Jared looking on with a small grin of odd satisfaction. 

**== &&==&&==&&==**  
 **TBC...**


	12. Chapter 12

**under haunted skies**

**chapter twelve**

At close to noontime, Jensen was taken off the heart leads and was allowed to roam the corridors of the hospital at will. It was strange to see that employees who had seen him for years couldn't place his features without the beautiful lengthy tri-colored locks. Jared and Jensen figured they would be stopped constantly, but it was a surprisingly easy ride to the elevator; Jared pushing Jensen in a wheelchair. Jensen had opted for a pants and hospital gown combination, which made him feel a little less exposed in the backside. Once they were in the elevator to head to the first floor, they thought they shouldn't go directly to the Trauma unit, just wheel around a few laps until they saw the coast was clear. It was good that Jared was in a set of scrubs, he managed to look the part of an employee who worked here.

Somehow, Jensen had gotten them through a back entryway to the ER; they had found the right area marked for “Trauma”. It was pretty sparse of people traffic, only one or two patients occupying cubicles. Jensen had spotted Farrack in the distance.

Jensen taps then squeezes Jared's hand. “Go there. That must be Toran's bed. That's Farrack, for sure.”

Jared deftly maneuvers down the row of pulled curtains while Jensen calls out.

“FARRACK! IT'S ME! JENSEN!” Jensen lifts his hand to show Jared he would need to be momentarily detached from the IV, since he was about to slip out of the chair. The second he was free, he practically runs to end up jumping into Farrack's arms. “Oh, Brother...”

Jared knows he should step back, allow the two Bearers their privacy.

For an Alpha so huge and menacing, Farrack is the one caressing Jensen's face as they merge brows and he can't stop rubbing over the new dark brown fuzz. It's an endearing and sweet motion; Jared likes Farrack right away. He makes a silent promise to himself, that if he can, he will see if he can help with Fessick, should Farrack and Toran hit any road blocks. Jared figured that was why Farrack had acted the way he had, clinging to what was left when a piece of him had been missing.

“You never have to worry about me.” Farrack kisses Jensen's hands. “Truly. It may have come about in a fucked up way, but...” He glances at the head of the stretcher where Toran's bandaged face rests against a pillow. “I almost got myself a new mate, with my foolishness, and could've become mated and knotted, about to carry a 'pup' in one fell-swoop.”

Jensen lets his hands shape and sculpt Farrack bulky chest, moving up and down the thick flanks to rest along the waist. “You should be lying down, Farr.” He glances around to see where Farrack's empty bed had been placed, but can't see any because of the pulled curtains. “Why aren't you in bed?”

The Alpha Bearer turns watery eyes to Jensen. “Because if I do, then I just think about Fess, and- -it's best if I keep my distance when he shifts out of rage and frustration. He'll want to protect me the only way he knows how, and he'll never transition back to my brother again.”

“So...he's done _this_ before?” Jensen is getting the feeling that the brothers have handled this on their own as more of a sibling squabbling tactic. “Become wolf to- - _what_?”

“Last night was to take out Toran because he saw him as a threat. The other times had been more for selfish reasons: one had been because we were arguing and he thought he could intimidate me by looking as if he could rip out my throat; the other had been when he was sad and lonely, hating that I had gone off without him.”

“He must feel different as a wolf.” Jensen had to think it was a less complicated, very simplistic way of life for Fessick who had such difficulties being “normal” as a human.

“I'm _sure_ it's why he does it. What people don't know is how self aware Fess is. He knows he's not as smart, or as brilliant, or as good-looking, or as friendly or even that talkative and what he says isn't profound enough to matter. He knows what he lacks, so he transitions to wolf to 'get away' and feel a bit normal, I guess.”

Jensen nods in complete understanding. “You fear he could decide to _not_ turn back.”

“Everyone tells me that if it's a traumatic event that catapults him to change, then it could be difficult to draw Fessick's human side out. Convince him that I'm fine and...” Farrack glances at Toran peacefully asleep. “-that Toran will hold no grudges.” He forces himself to look away then down to the flooring. “I know he feels bad enough for how he reacted; Toran is taking full blame. He hasn't gained total memory, and he's in quite a lot of pain.” Farrack is able to release and inhale calming breaths as he feels his fellow Bearer's hands on him, soothing and relaxing him. He's used to Fessick's touch always being _right there_ for him. “They had to wait for the Vahya to exit his system before giving him pain meds.” He makes a slow roll of his hand toward to how deeply Toran is sleeping. “This is him on a mild sedative given 3 hrs ago.”

“Where is Fessick now?”

“His doctor had taken him away early this morning. High-tailed Fess to an outside facility, sort of a halfway house/recovery ranch to rehab Weres. It's fenced in and under heavy security, but Fess is able to...his wolf can run free and be happy.”

Jensen leans in further to Farrack's breathing space. “You're scared he won't remember you the longer he chooses to be wolf.”

“I can't deny it hasn't been easy raising him on my own, but- -well, you know. He's given me a reason to exist when no one else cared.” Farrack shrugs his shoulders one at a time, then drops his chin. “He could very well have had this plan in play for a while, that he'd find the right moment to turn wolf and never look back.”

Jensen hangs his head in deep thought and concern, knowing how well the Ferae Alpha had gotten along with both twins. “His mating would've been good with Toran. Toran cares deeply for him—” He clamps a hand on Farrack's shoulder, giving him a comforting shake. “—for BOTH of you, I feel.”

“Who knows. Maybe it worked out for the best.” Farrack shrugs both of his shoulders, sighing heavy as he lifts his gaze to Jensen. “Toran and I need to discuss some things. Despite what he feels he became, and the fact he's now scarred, more than likely he'll reject me and push me away. He clings now, but...he's a Ferae Alpha, I'm not sure he wants to be tended to like Fessick did.”

“Who knows. Could be _exactly_ what he needs.” Jensen gives Farrack a hard glance. “You humble me, Brother.” He cups both sides of the thick neck. “There is such hidden strengths in you, such compassion. I do not envy your difficulties along this journey, but I will support any of your tough decisions to be made. Whatever you choose.”

Farrack caresses Jensen's cheek, then cups the chin below. “I learned from you. I owe who I am to everything you taught me growing up. It's how I was able to cope with Fessick, being tolerant and supportive. Understanding who my brother was apart from me.”

“So many things are happening at once, spinning and spiraling around me.” Jensen dips his head in utter humbleness of his brother's affectionate attention. “My life- -my outlook on my future was so different—” He blinks slow, shaking his head in utter shock and amazement at what's becoming of his life.

Farrack glances to the left, far back to where Jared is standing, waiting. “Is that 'him'? This Alpha you were attempting _not_ to tell me about?”

“Yes...” For some odd reason, Jensen can't lift his head, even though he can feel Jared staring at them, or maybe just him. “...that is Jared.”

“He's an Outsider.” Farrack takes easy breaths as he looks between the tall Alpha and Jensen before him.

“Yes. A very attractive, arousing and maddening one.” When he finally lifts his head to look at his brother Bearer, Jensen can see that there's a bit of envy in Farrack's steady gaze.

Farrack smirks, reaching out to clamp a hand on Jensen's bony shoulder. “It's about time you found yourself an Alpha worthy of you.”

“Tell me...” Jensen speaks with a tiny side-smile creeping off his lips. “—would it upset you to know- -he makes me consider mating without traditions.” He looks down in silent misery, knowing how hypocritical this makes him sound. “I would take him as my Alpha without—”

“Whoa, whoa...” Farrack places both of his hands on Jensen's slumping shoulders, giving him a slight shake. “—before you even utter one more word, look who you are asking, hmm? I was willing to remain single, keeping my bouts of 'victory' over all Ferae Alphas in my path, and allow Fessick the one to mate, so I could just hang on and vicariously live through him, just being the wild and crazy Uncle.”

Jensen hitches his next breath, looking over at Toran and then back up to Farrack's determined eyes staring right into him. “You want _this_ , though, what you could begin with Toran?”

“Yes...very much so.” Farrack doesn't have to spare one look to the Ferae Alpha in the bed they stand beside, for he knows, without a shred of doubt that should Toran ask it of him, he will gladly step out of the Gallantry and be his mate for life. “I even _want_ Toran, despite having kicked his ass in our last bout.”

Jensen can't help but snort-laugh as he shakes his head. “What kind of Ferae are we to our own, huh? That we are so weakened by our affections?”

“Brother...” Farrack narrows his gaze on Jensen, a wide smile of encouragement growing on his face. “I stopped seeing it as weakness long ago when it tore _this_ Alpha from my life, and the deepest recesses of my heart. I am incomplete – not of my true self - when I am without him.” He drops his hands to soothe over Jensen's biceps, feeling his brother lean toward him a bit as if dizzy with intense and confusing emotions. “It is a strength unknown until we know it, Jensen, and when we are able to fight for it once it is lost to us.”

Jensen closes his eyes, placing one hand over one of Farrack's. “I do not know what I would do if I—” He takes a nervous swallow, then downcasts his head in mild embarrassment. “He has come to mean much to me, like I cannot see my life without, though I know there is a small chance that something will disturb the peace I may finally find. I think I now know that I will hang on harder than I ever have before, should this moment be ripped from me.” Jensen blinks quickly a few times, then sighs heavy. “You would've kept denying yourself had this night not occurred?” He knows this as simple truth now, which was what he had been doing for most of his own life.

“Exactly, which is why I cannot feel anything negative about where I am. Because it is where I want to be.” Farrack backs away a bit, something coming over him in deep thought. “I could've had the possibility of carrying Toran's offspring tonight, had things not gone the way they had. In the moment, frightening, but hasn't it always been such? -our matings with Ferae Alpha have never been writ as close to what future matings would be once they take our sacred virtues.” He clears his throat with the shake of his head. “Duncan was one lucky Bearer to have a better mating than most get.”

“Jemal adores Duncan- -and, yes, Ferae Alpha like Jemal do not come around often.” Jensen darts his eyes to Jared, who is turned away briefly, his back to the Bearers in conversation. “If things had not gone astray tonight- -had things just been plain as they ever were...do you think Fessick would've let Toran win him?”

Farrack does take a bit longer to answer, but then he just shrugs one shoulder. “I thought I knew my brother. Before this moment, I would've said he may have succumbed, but now...” He gives a short glance to Toran in the hospital stretcher, still conked out. “I'm not too sure what Fess wanted, if we were still on the same page like we've always been.”

“I am starting to feel like you, seeing situations differently from a fresher perspective.” Jensen crosses his arms over his chest. “I had such tunnel vision, I almost do not know how any one of you – my true family - tolerated me.”

Farrack throws back his head in quiet laughter. “You were not as bad as you believe you have been. If we truly disagreed, wouldn't we have made our opinions known to you? We are not weaklings in light of your power.”

“I had 'power'?” Jensen knows what Farrack means but it sounds weird coming out of his mouth the way it does.

Farrack caresses the back of his hand over Jensen's flushed cheek in mild irritation. “You have a powerful gift, and talent, for not only rallying us Bearers together, but following our traditions and keeping us relevant.” Once he has Jensen's solid gaze, he soldiers on, unwavering in speech. “Had we not had you at the forefront we would've died off ages ago. Think about that, huh? Those Bearers that came before us when you were but a little mite, snapping at heels and making Ferae turn their heads to look at the pipsqueak who wouldn't shut up.”

Jensen closes his eyes, chuckling lightly at the memories of himself at fifteen. “I was quite the rabble-rouser back then. I guess I still am, in smaller, quieter ways. But now...” He dips his head, but then looks up at Farrack. “—jesus, I never meant for all of you to imagine that winning was the 'only' thing, that I had some kind of aversion to Alphas and mating as a whole. I guess when Duncan confessed he thought I'd hate him, that should have been the loudest clue of all to me what I may have created in my wake.”

Clamping a hand over both of Jensen's shoulders, Farrack gives his brother a shake or two to knock him out of his self-imposed misery. “—and it hasn't helped you any to be treated like a veritable God from Heaven, walking around us mortals. That shit is scary, Jen- -truthfully. While I do understand, to a degree, why you don't see it, I'm not sure why you still allow it to happen.”

Jensen, himself, has never known how to explain his sharp rise to popularity; he's always had stronger faith in self and the power of his status, then allowed those who believed to follow suit. “It's like you and Fessick, and it does become addictive when I can't face my own fears and hang-ups.”

“God, that's what I am dreading the most.” Farrack rubs a hand over his face, then along his neck and nape. “Not only did I keep Fessick from being hurt, I hid a shit-ton of myself. I feel like I'm walking some tightrope with Toran because I'm not like I am in the Gallantry. In fact, I'm nothing like my Alpha-side. Never have been.”

Jensen stares for a minute before he gives a sad, slow shake of his head. “Damn, looks like we both have a lot of maturing to still do.” He rubs tenderly at his chin as he tries to hold back on a smile.

Farrack is the one to break out in the jovial grin, broadest he's ever given despite the pain and discomfort of the past few hours. He's always seen a different side to grief having to deal with his twin brother. “Eh, but think about who you have standing right behind you.” He wiggles both eyebrows in a small gesture of teasing. Even from far away, Farrack likes the “look” of this Alpha...this Outsider to the Ferae...this “Jared”. “He's gotta be pretty amazing to have slipped into your heart and mind, possibly deep down into your soul.”

Jensen soaks in the light tease, but doesn't give it much power as something more powerful chokes him because of the incident of tonight. “Things are gonna have to drastically change. Alpha Bearers need to devise a new way to choose their mates.” He rests a palm to his chest, rubbing in a slow circular motion. “I can't make that choice for them, but I do know they cannot do it on their own.” Jensen knows he will never have to outright ask for it, but he wants to put the nugget of ideas into some of their heads that they will need to come together without him; he can no longer live for them, or die for them, if things had gone more haywire tonight in the Gallantry.

“Give them a little more credit, huh?” Farrack winks as he butts a strong thick shoulder into Jensen. “Us old fogies have our own old school ways, but these newbies are sharp and they know what they want when they want it. They certainly don't take no shit from Betas and Omegas.”

Jensen gives a soft laugh, but keeps his face stiff, almost numb. “That's my fear, if when I go – moving on from this – that Bearers will fall back to the Fourth Sect. I don't want them with Alphas, but I want them just below, right above Betas.”

“I'm sure they're already beginning.” Farrack clasps a hand around one of Jensen's biceps, looking him dead in the eye. “You went out a legend, Jen...like a myth.” He was glad he was able to get Jensen to smile with him, winking again. “You've been given a chance to start over, reinvent yourself. Maybe, for once, stop denying yourself and take what—” Farrack manages to secretly motion with his head toward Jared, still somewhere behind Jensen in the distance. “—who you truly want as yours.”

“...mmmgghhh, Farrack...” Toran mumbles from the bed, curling toward the railing on the side Farrack stands.

“Excuse me, Brother.” Again, Farrack cradles Jensen's entire face between his palms, staring as if passing on all emotions without words. “He wakes up a little hazy and fuzzy in the brain, won't settle until he sees my face. Hmm...whodda thunk it – this ugly mug would put a Ferae Alpha at ease.” He gives a small wave after he has pointed to his “ugly mug”, which isn't in the least ugly or “mug-like”, then he moseys over Toran.

Jensen gives a tiny smile, watching Farrack head to the bedside, lowering the railing to speak low to the unmarred side of Toran's face. Toran reached up to touch Farrack with the back of his left hand; Farrack clamped palm to palm, kissing the unusually pale skin, then curled his arms around Toran's head, combing back wisps of dark, inky black hairs. Jensen doesn't realize that Jared had crept up behind him, slightly to the left, until he felt a hand pressed to his lower back.

“Good talk?”

“Yes.” Jensen nods his head, gradually picking up speed. “Very good talk.”

“Anything new on Fessick?” Jared stands still, staring over at the two men in close proximity. 

“Yeah, uhm...c'mon, let's leave these two alone and return to the room. Should be time for lunch to be served.” Jensen waves to Farrack, then takes a short time to watch the Bearer and his new Alpha companion. In some strange way he felt both would be good for the other despite the tragic circumstances that had brought them together. Farrack would be the best mate to Toran as he would always look beyond Toran's scars to the Alpha inside, much like he had shown love and affections to Fessick.

Jared can tell quite a few truths resting on Jensen's shoulders. He was eerily more quiet and more subdued than typical. It had seemed best since more people had begun to recognize Jensen, so Jared told him to keep his head bowed, maybe place a hand on the side of his face, set an elbow on the wheelchair's armrest. They managed to get on the elevator, riding alone together and exiting to make it back into the room before the trays were delivered on Jensen's side of the ward. Jared had him sitting upright in a reclining chair, near the windows, just to get a change of scene from being stuck in bed. He told Jensen he would get his own plate of food and bring it up to eat with him. Jared couldn't stand leaving Jensen without letting him know, be assured that he would be coming right back. He bent low to nudge and nuzzle, loving that Jensen was receptive to his neediness in affections. He kissed spots on cheek and neck, then rubbed over the shorn head.

Jensen keeps his head averted, eye shutting so he doesn't have to watch Jared leave. He settles his head back and tries to remain calm, loving the lingering heat and scent left by Jared. How his skin tingles where Jared's lips had pressed, the soft scratches of rough stubble. 

All too suddenly, he smells a different odor entering his room, the stranger footfalls and weird sense of heating. It's a non-threatening pack member, someone from the kitchen doing their job setting up the tray, but something inside of Jensen feels frightened, like his life could be in grave danger. He breathes heavy, his heart races and he can feel sweat rising off his skin. He was thrust back into the combat ring of the Gallantry, back to a minute or two of being coherent and aware...seeing the Ferae Alpha above him, behind him, sensing the change in fears – like gear shifts, almost afraid for his very life - “ ** _...High Alpha sen's his regards..._** ” –

Jensen flashes his lids wide open, finding the room now empty and too big, too scary...he pushes the footpad and drags his IV pole with him to go into proper hiding.

Jared had grabbed something light, down in the Cafeteria; there would be too much going on after dinner, if they even stayed for that long. Jared wanted to get Jensen out of this place, out of this environment, away from the Ferae Pack. The only way Jensen could even breathe, to clear his mind to think about his future was to leave everything – everyone – behind and just focus on—

“..jay?”

Jared tilts his head as he hears Jensen muffled voice. “...Jen-wha-? Man...where are you?”

“Down here.” Jensen throws something to sail across the tile flooring, under the stretcher.

Instantly, Jared inches down to his knees, then crouches low to see Jensen. “What? The Fuck? Happened” He notices Jensen stretches out his left arm so he crawls on his stomach, legs sticking out awkwardly on the floor. Both hands take Jensen's curled hand, kissing and nuzzling fingers to his face. “-talk to me- -tell me what happened- -please—”

“I think...you were right.”

“About?”

“h-h-He told me, right before he tried to take me, knot me...thinking me unconscious – ' _High Alpha sends his regards_ '...”

“Fuck!” Jared bows his head, fury growing. “Wha-? What happened? Did something trigger the memory?”

“Yeah – an unfamiliar scent of a pack member who brought me my food tray. He was...all wrong...scent, heat, noises of his footsteps. I guess I must've had some seconds of consciousness. I heard him as clear as a bell, Jay – I almost thought he was right here in the room with me, right in my ear.”

“Is that why you're here – hiding from me?”

“Uhm, no, not really. Uh, I guess it's only an instinct of mine to hide away – like when I was little – still a 'pup' and living on the Alpha-side with my family, mainly with my father and brother. They weren't...nice to me in my pup-hood. I wasn't abused physically – I was too beneath the High Alphas to even be touched, felt more like the family pet – like an old hound dog left to die on its own.”

“...jesus, Jen...” Jared squeezes Jensen's hand, wishing they were up-top so he could hold Jensen.

“I had a wing of the mansion all to myself – my own room, but it was drafty. I was fed, but it was scraps. Some kitchen staff took pity on me, so sometimes I had leftovers that hadn't gotten eaten made into full meals. I had to do chores to earn the slightest attention from any of them. I was grateful when they sent me away to school – I lived there 'til I reached puberty. I was mating age; they dropped me back here to fend for myself. I moved from room & board to room & board, in every house I could find. I never stayed for too long because they would always find me...lacking.”

“ssshhh- -sshhhh...” Jared pulls up closer to Jensen's side, arm across his deeply breathing chest. He settled his head down, ear to the heart. “...you've never told this truth to anyone?”

“Can you blame me? I may as well walk around wearing my own cross. It sounds too unreal and fictional, like something Jane Austen or Charles Dickens might write for one of their characters.”

Jared soothes up and down the rib cage. “You need to get out of here, and I don't mean off the floor, from under the bed. You have to leave sooner than tonight.”

Jensen relaxes for the first time, placing his arm across Jared's back, hanging on tight. “...i feel like I'm slipping into madness, jay...”

Jared kisses up the gown, over collar and up to the neck to an ear. “You won't. Not while I'm here.” He brings up his hand to cup Jensen's face. “You feel any kind of manic state, like a panic attack...you look at me, look into my eyes...I'll get you back on your feet, back to solid ground.”

“I'm gonna need so much more than just rest and true relaxation.”

“sshhh- -ssshh...all you really need is to get away, change your surroundings. Your environment is toxic. You have to start focusing on yourself.”

Jensen stares into Jared's face, combing back his hair. “I wish we could be alone, you know...like back in Oloko at the boarding room house.”

Jared tilts his face into the hand. “I don't wanna take you away too soon. Should you have some reaction to the poisoning still- uhm...Vince'll be right there...”

“yeah, yeah...okay, good point.”

Jared can't help lightly chuckling as he goes to peck kisses on Jensen's cheek. “I see right through you, Jensen.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You just want me all to yourself, again, so you can have your way with me.”

Jensen averts his head playfully, teasing with his demure lowering of his lids, then smooshes his hand into Jared's face. “In your dreams, Alpha!” He rolls over to land facedown so he can bend to stand.

Jared backward crawls, going to stand, then walks around the bed to help Jensen off the floor. He, then, has him hefted in the air to sit on the mattress. As Jared pulls back sheets, Jensen shifts to the pillow at the head of the bed. Jared covers Jensen's legs, letting the hems pool at his lap. He places the flat of his palm over Jensen's chest, feeling the slow-steady beat of his heart. “Better. Your heart doesn't feel like it wants out of your chest.”

Jensen imprisons Jared's hand to his body. “-thank you, again. I've never had someone there to talk me through 'til I could come out on my own merit.”

“How many times had this happened before?”

“...'bout 4yrs ago, it started up again. Maybe then, once or twice a year, usually when my nerves are really, really shot to hell.”

“You simply 'ride it out'? You don't take anything for it?”

“Yeah. I don't like medication unless it's a life or death situation. Never just to maintain inner balance. It impedes basic train of thought and mood.”

“How 'bout to help you just to get back on your feet? What almost happened to you- -what did happen to you in the ring was traumatic, Jensen. Sure, you feel good now, and I was here to talk you up off the floor...So many things could set you off, an' what if I'm not there or—”

“whoa, whoa...just slow down a bit. You assume I'm bad enough because of last night that I need to go on drugs?”

“I didn't say it like that.” Jared is a little put out that Jensen would even suggest that he be “drugged”, or somehow have personality or moods altered. “There's no shame in needing some help when you're unable to cope on your own.”

“Is that what you Outsider packs do? City dwellers?” Jensen doesn't mean to come off bitchy, but he does. He opens his mouth to say something more, but Jared goes utterly silent, going through routine motions.

“Eat. I need to step out to see if we can't speed up this process of sneaking you out.” Jared gives a small smile and beats a hasty retreat.

Jensen has a mini-panic when he doesn't hear Jared's usual “I'll be right back”, but he just tries to play it off, attempting to eat when food tastes bland and heavy going through his throat and dropping into his stomach. He sits back, distracting himself with the remote control and turning on the TV, something mindless and won't need him to concentrate too hard. He worries when Jared doesn't return after fifteen minutes, pretty sure he had chased him away, possibly for good.

The next person through the door is the nursing assistant, doing her rounds of vitals and seeing how Jensen was doing. She told him Christian and the head nurse would be in very soon, and she exited too quickly for Jensen to inquire about Jared. Jensen doesn't know what to call him or even if anybody here knew Jared was with him, in some capacity. It's then that he begins to panic fully, and it isn't a great sensation as he has food in his belly, he isn't sure it agreed with him at this point.

There's talking outside his door; Jensen hones on sounds, especially voices. They're muffled, but then the paneling opens and, even though there are two voices, Jensen focuses on the one that makes his heart flutter and his body tingle. Christian and Jared wander around the privacy curtain, and Jensen nearly feels faint and woozy at the sight of the Alpha. He can breathe again, and he can stop fretting that he had somehow chased Jared away. Christian and Jared were talking to one another, mostly about Jensen and his outcome, present and future. Jensen is only half paying attention as Jared approaches him at the head of the bed and he practically has to fight the urge to pounce and jump into Jared's arms, secure, safe and protected. Jared splays his hands on the heavy plastic railing; before Jensen can touch and hold one of those hands, Jared pushes away, only to return and fold his arms on the railing. Jensen keeps his gaze down, chin to chest, as he scoots closer to Jared, simply because the scent and heat radiating toward him are too much and he needs some kind of acknowledgement from Jared that he “sees” him and knows he's aware of him through all open channels of their bodies.

Jared reaches out to cup the flushing cheek. “Jen?”

“huh?” Jensen closes his eyes at the simple touch of palm resting on his cheek.

“Christian asked you a question.”

“Oh, uh...sorry-what?” Jensen licks his lips as he raises eyes. He can taste the salty sweat. He reaches up to touch Jared's hand, then latches onto the wrist. Jensen tries to look at Jared, but the gaze keeps reading too deeply into his psyche.

Christian lifts one side of his mouth, pen poised to write. “Only wanted to know if you had something you might want to tell me before I scribble out your Discharge orders.”

Jensen doesn't like that Jared drops his eyes, then his hand, as well, dislodging their connection. This time, he does stare at Jared, then curls his hand over a forearm. “Uhm...I think I'm havin' a little- -I guess you could say 'anxiety', because of what happened...”

“That's not unusual, Jensen.” Christian furrows his brow deeply, wondering if the Alpha Bearer thinks his symptoms are rare and exclusive. “Has it been happening a lot?”

Jensen clears his throat. “-twice, uh...I can't- - I'm not sure I can deal too well with being left alone. Or able to cope, if someone I don't know isn't nearby to keep me from outright panicking.”

Christian glances to Jared, then back to Jensen, then to Jared again who seems to take the silent admission in stride, as if he had known, but never spoke of it. He wondered why Jared had chosen not to tell him. “Memories will be flooding back to you. One of the side effects of a bad trip of Vahya, I'm afraid. When it's used to sedate patients, the dosage is whitewashed with other medicines to combat that effect from outlasting the anesthesia period and into waking. Without those meds, I'm afraid you'll have these residual kickbacks, flashes of coherency then possibly...blackouts, especially if fear and anxiety are already high in your system.” He starts to pull out his prescription notepad. “I have no doubt this'll subside over time, if not then, we may need to further examine what's been left behind. The meds I'll prescribe will be a low enough dosage as to not put you at risk or in such a relaxed state where you're acting 'dopey'...less like your own self.”

“I'd rather be Sneezy.” Jensen teases with a straight face.

The Alphas are dead silent, and then Jared sputters out a laugh as he rubs his knuckles over Jensen's cheek, proud he had let his guard down to ask for some assistance.

Christian can't stop chuckling and shaking his head. He's having a new found respect for Alpha Bearers, but he can almost admit Jensen and Farrack were exceptions to typical Bearer pack members whose molds had been broken upon birth. “I need you to taper the amount you take from day to day. That first time will be a complete 180 on your normal routine. You will find yourself feeling not-quite-Jensen. The side effects are different, depending on what time of day, too...your mood in fluctuation. It's important to stick as close to someone you trust, who knows you inside and out, to be sure you're not spacey or too...different.” He gestures toward Jared. “And, I'll tell Vince to keep an eye out on your vitals. We don't want to send you into a tailspin.”

“...thank you for—”

“What?”

“You've been...great about everything, if I haven't said so to you.” Jensen faces Christian directly. “This is the first time I've ever need your services- -I see you administer to my pack and I don't know that I've ever experienced, first-hand, how truly caring and supportive...respectful, you are to the Ferae, no matter the status.”

“oh...well...gee...” Christian rips off a slip from his pad to pile with the clipboard. “You don't have to say all of that to me. This is my job and...I've never seen packs or statuses.”

“I am most ashamed we only have you and Dr. Genaro, who is another I need to 'thank', but...I can do that later.”

“The interning Ferae will be just as good, if not better than Vince or I. Certainly on the surgical and emergent care – or even for trauma care – areas. I wish we could do the same for the Alphas, but they would rather heal on their own, wearing their scars like flesh-medals in battle, or die a respectable and honorable death in their bouts.”

“Speaking of—” Jensen glances between Christian and Jared. “-has there been any word on the Alpha who started this travesty.” Both Alphas look away, then clear their throats. “What? What's happened? What's wrong?”

Christian does a small bow from his waist. “This will be my cue to amscray, uh...so, Jared...” He spins to face Jared directly. “...just give my pager a buzz once the dinner tray's brought in. I'll start putting things in motion on my end.”

“Good, good...” Jared nods his head in acceptance, then stands with back stiff and straight as he follows the Alpha on his way out. “Thanks, again, Christian.”

“Not a problem, man.” Christian gives a wide smile to Jensen, then a slight nod, while sparing Jared a side-glance with a tiny smirk of inner knowledge; he knows that once Jared gets Jensen away from all of these...diversions, there's no telling just how fast the healing process with take on to mend the wounded Bearer. He raises an eyebrow to give both men a cursory glance or two. “Hopefully I won't see either of you two in this place for a third time- -at least for another month...'kay?”

Jared snickers, giving a small pat to Christian's arm. “yeah, yeah, all right- -one month.” He has shown his sole index finger of his right hand in complete submission.

Christian lifts his chin slightly, showing Jensen the calm and subtle obedience once given to the Alamari. “Bye, Jensen.”

The soft tone settles very hard and intense into Jensen's heart and soul; things will be very different from now on. He will have to get used to being just ordinary Jensen, a Bearer and a lower pack status that may or may not hold out against the others in his pack. “By, Dr. Kane.” Jensen waits until he hears the self-closing door shut before he turns back to look at Jared, his eyes narrowing on the bowing head, the shifting cues of the jawline to show some tension. “Did something happen in the last few hours?”

“Uh, yes...” Jared crossed one strong arm over his mid-chest, curling the hand around his rib cage, cupping under his left arm. He rubbed soothingly over his cheeks and jaw. He wasn't dreading revealing this news to Jensen, just wondering how he would deny or accept the information. It was tough enough for him to digest. “They went into the Alpha's cell, and happened to find him lifeless – cold, stiff and dead.”

“WHAT!?!?” It's on his lips to deny that this is true, simply because it was too much to bear, to much to fathom. “But, I- -wha—? I don't even, uh...” Jensen begins to soothe a hand, palm down, over his throat and collar, like he can still feel the air asphyxiating out of his body.

“Not from anything like what you're thinking.” Jared moves quickly to take a seat on the bed, not caring that he so rudely pushed Jensen's legs over to the side. “Nothing James Bond-ishly evil.” He extended his hand to touch the far thigh under the layers of linen. “He had taken too much Vahya.” Jared raises an eyebrow in cool concentration. “Apparently, even Alphas can overdose on the plant too, in the right circumstances.” 

It's a bit of a relief and a serious downer that this Ferae Alpha, or maybe just an Outsider Alpha gone rogue, had managed to slip away from persecution. It's hopeful that the suffering was a little like a public execution, from a prison death sentence.

“Did he, uhm...?” The images rolling through Jensen's mind conjures up all sorts of disgusting manners in which the Alpha had to have been self-tortured for his “cause”.

“It wasn't pretty, they said. Everything messy and complicated about an OD...”

Jensen shakes his head to show Jared that's not the answer he was searching for. “No. I wanted to know, ask about his- -you know...” He motions his hand around his groin area.

“Well, see...” Jared bows his head, scratching lightly at his scalp as he smirks. It's very unusual for him to be carrying on this kind of conversational topic. He's never quite had a invested interest in another Alpha on the level of this standard; it feels like it takes their relationship to a deep, intense realm, where nothing is sacred or kept secret. “I don't know anything about those specifics. I would assume locking him up in a four-by-four cell on his own, with no outlet for release, could've catapulted him into teeter-tottering over the edge.” He narrows his gaze on Jensen's own bowed head, folding his arms across his middle. “Look, Jen, he had ingested several mugs of ale and slathered his body with the oil to make sure he had covered every base in order to knock you out completely.”

Jensen doesn't know why but he can't help but feel such a powerful sense of sorrow for the dumb, stubborn Alpha. “Poor Alpha.” He lifts green eyes to stare into Jared's own unwavering eyes. “A bit too overzealous with his task.” Jensen attempts to smirk or give a light half-smile from the side of his mouth.

“Doing the High Alpha's dirty-work- -well, not just for chumps.”

Jensen shakes his head but gives out a look that shows he's in total agreement with Jared's statement. He drops his chin, picking up the collection of blankets so he can scoot his body over. “Have they even tried looking for my Alpha?”

Frowning slightly, Jared notices how Jensen seems to wiggle over to the other side of the mattress. “I don't know, but my guess is he's long gone in hiding or buried six-feet under.”

Jensen wonders why it doesn't feel weird or awkward to talk to Jared about an Alpha he could have been mated with if things had been different. He means “different” in that he had actually been interested in the Ferae Alpha in the ring, who had been courting him – not all the high drama of the Vahya ingestion. “God, he wasn't exactly mate-able material, but he was decent, rough around the edges.” He settles now, on his left side, bending his elbow to rest on the pillow, hand bracing under his head as he looks at Jared. It's like he can talk to him about anything, and Jared won't pitch a hissy fit or act jealous or possessive. “He tried to be, I suppose- -some kind of a, uh...romantic - made him, somewhat, awkward during the courting.” Jensen uses his right hand to pick at the bare sheets as he keeps his gaze downward.

Jared clears his throat, not feeling a bit jealous, because he's pretty sure if Jensen had been attracted or aroused in any way by this courting Ferae Alpha, he never would've kept pursuing Jared. But, for his own conscious, he will ask. “Were you at any point attracted? At all?”

Jensen shakes his head in denial; he gives a fleeting glance up to Jared's face. “I could feel the natural feral draw to him, on simply a level of needing an Alpha - to quell the sensation of wanting to be knotted, but, no...” This time, when he brings up his chin, he lets his gaze rest on Jared's face, not moving back down. “Never to a point where I could have seen us as mates and me happily carrying his offspring.”

The stretcher shimmies a little. Jared uses the plastic railing on the left side of Jensen to hoist himself up and then does a deft spin to lay on his back, scooting up so his head rests a little above the array of pillows. His quick, hurried movements, shake and quake Jensen, though he still remains in the same position through everything, except leaning more toward Jared's side, around his right shoulder and biceps.

Jared kicks off his shoes, both arms raising so he can interlock fingers at the back of his head as he lays back amongst the plushness. “Ah-ha...that has to be why you're so good at winning your matches.” He cackles softly with the swift shake of head at Jensen's cleverness, though he probably doesn't even know he does it. “You don't court Alphas who arouse a deeper part of you.”

Jensen wish he had the “umph” inside of him to battle with words right back at Jared, to somehow deny that he was ever that ingenious or devious, whatever it made him appear to be like. But, he truly felt too emotionally, and physically drained to even do much of anything but curl up next to Jared, which is just what he did. “I had no idea I repressed such a deep well inside of me, until you.” Jared, having raised his arms, had opened up his torso and under his right arm for Jensen to find a quaint niche to huddle into.

Jared is glad that Jensen took the initiative to make the small physical contact. He knew it wouldn't be too much else tonight, because too much had gone on in that ring that Jensen blacked out, and it scared both of them. “I'll be your first, and last.” He kept his left arm tucked behind his head, but moved his right arm to tenderly lay on the pillow, so it cascaded down Jensen's back. Jared wouldn't touch with his hands, unless Jensen invited him or encouraged the caresses. “I can be assured of that right now.” He bends his head to press a very light kiss to the top of Jensen's head resting on his chest. Jared likes the fuzz on top, so he rubs his cheek over it, knowing it must soothe Jensen in some manner.

Jensen tucks himself deeper into Jared's body, burrowing his face into the warmth of the neck and collarbone. “I had some thought I chased you away.” It's strange not to feel the basic response of an aroused mate, but he understands that Jared's had to put up some walls and barriers around him that might need extra pushes and nudges to be taken down. Jensen presses his forehead into the side of Jared's neck, closing his lids as he inhales the Alpha's scent. “I panicked a second time over you never returning.” As he attempts to converse in a hushed tone, Jared dips his head to nudge his chin into Jensen's head. “-you didn't say 'I'll be right back', like you usually do.”

“I know. I'm sorry.” Because of the heightened sensation Jensen is administering to him, Jared knows he can bring his responses to a low level and still let Jensen know he has an interest in him – yes, he is aroused and deeply affected, but he's not going to pounce and demand Jensen return affections. “I did that on purpose. It hurt to leave without telling you that.” It's Jensen's insistent nuzzling with his head that lets Jared know his words are on the right track, also his actions on the even keel are just about where they need to be, for now. “I wasn't far, though. I was putting in calls to Christian...Vince and then saw about arranging for transport to get you out of here after dinner hours.”

Jensen startles into opening his eyes, laying his cheek calmly on Jared's right pec. “You called Duncan?” God, it's only been a few hours since he last saw the younger Bearer and already Jensen feels like there's a chasm of space between them. Duncan is mated now, to Jemal; he arranged for it to happen and it did. Now Jensen had to suffer those consequences, facing a life no longer with Duncan at his side.

Jared furrows his brow when he feels Jensen gives a slight quiver to his body, like he's scared or frightened of something, or someone. “It was Jemal, actually.” He moves a bit to help pull up more of the linens to cover Jensen more so the hems reach over his shoulders, touching his neck and upper chest. “He had Duncan go to the bed to rest, since they had spent the morning teaching Jemal how to drive the truck.”

“awww...” Jensen's heart is warmed by the thought of Jemal being attentive to his brother. He feels a little less displaced that they're at home and spending what would be their “honeymoon” if they had wedded, in safe place, away from harm. “Well, that's even more proof how much they feel for one another.” He's a little more convinced of Jemal's feelings toward Duncan if Jemal had put aside the usual Ferae Alpha ways and manners. Jemal was one of those who saw Alpha Bearers as equals, as Alpha to the end yet stronger-still for being able to bear life, bearing the brunt of a Ferae Alpha's hard and sometimes cruel rutting. “Duncan would never allow anyone to drive for him, and...I doubt an Alpha like Jemal would have warmly accepted being taught by a Bearer, unless it was someone he loved or trusted deeply.”

“I cannot wait to see him.” As Jared sets the sheets around Jensen's body, he allows his arm to be placed around the broad shoulders, hoping to be able to cradle him soon to his body in slumber. He can feel Jensen losing the struggle to fight off sleep. “From his Gridiron and Gallantry garb, he said he really feels quite at home now with the jeans and t-shirts Duncan had bought for him.”

“Wait!” Jensen places a palm on Jared's chest and pushes upright a few inches off his left elbow. “Are they at _my_ dwelling?”

“Yes, for now.” Jared's arm is pull away from Jensen's shoulders, so he brings his hand around to caress over Jensen's cheek, haphazardly scraping over the shorn blond locks. He watches Jensen blink slow and deliberate as the motions of his hand seem to soothe and relax Jensen. “They've packed a majority of your stuff, putting that in the truck bed. They'll be there a few nights, then head on out to Jemal's home, on his pack's property.”

“oh, whoa...” Jensen is a bit flabbergasted, because he had assumed that once Jemal and Duncan had mated for a second, away from public eyes and out of the ring, that their situation would just culminate into them starting off on their life together. Barring the fact that they had this small side-job of excavating Jensen out of the hospital, but he at least thought Duncan would be resting in bed. From what he recalls, Jemal had a nice home he had built for his first mate, housing his Ex's parents. “I had no idea his pack had land outside the Ferae compound.”

“For a while, neither did he.” Hand clamped on Jensen's left shoulder, Jared allows a few fingers to brush against the bare skin, either on neck or cheek to jawline. “He's been living in a house he had bought for his first mating. He lives with his in-laws there. I'm assuming this is new-er, only for Jemal and Duncan. His father Alpha came by to give him the keys. Jemal doesn't know the state of the home or the property, so once he drops us back at Vince's, he'll head on out and check. He doesn't want to bring Duncan into that kind of environment, if he's carrying at the moment. You know, like a dilapidated house that's dusty or moldy.”

“Understandable, if Duncan is bearing offspring. Tha's not too good for a 'pup'.” Jensen goes quiet at the mention of the sudden bonding between Duncan and his Alpha, Jemal, and the fact they could be carrying. He's not jealous in the slightest, h e's just overwhelmed by the realization that his life could have changed this suddenly, without him truly being able to hold on to much – much except Jared. It hits him square in the gut that what he has here in front of him is quite possibly the very rest of his life, and he's not sure just how he's going to be able to keep Jared from contemplating a decision to pursue him. There's a feeling of gloom and doom hovering over him – a dark cloud he once thought has vanished once he had left his past behind. Now it seems to be following him more closely and subtly than ever. Jensen drops his eyes, drawing back into Jared's body, this time fully tucking his face in Jared's neck. “...'thank you-s' always seem so...empty, at times like this...” He sighs heavy and deep as his arms try to surround Jared's body, one above, once below his torso.

Jared closes his eyes, simply happy and extremely pleased to have Jensen in his arms, responsive and somewhat attentive. That was such a heartfelt, weary sigh that he can't help but feel the weight bearing down on Jensen's broad shoulders. He wishes Jensen knew Jared would shoulders all of it, and he wouldn't even have to ask. He just hopes being by his side and not moving one inch is enough of an incentive to keep Jensen from running scared.

**TBC...**


End file.
